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how do u deal with guilt caused by intrusive thoughts during sexual activities?

Im scared and sad. Have had this obsession about something happening with my eyes for years, and this weekend I got sand in my eye with contact lenses in and could not get it out. Kept wearing lenses bc I thought maybe my eyes were just really dry and my family didnt take me seriously bc I always worry about my eyes. Went to doctor today and it was still there so they flushed my eye but I need to come back tomorrow and cannot wear these lenses anymore Now scared for the future and not sure whether all the sand got out bc my eyes still feel bad :(

This sounds insane bc ocd causes so much pain in my life, but it's almost like I'm scared to let it go?? Idk if that's ocd trying to cling on for dear life or if it's me. Logically I don't want to feel horrible bc of ocd forever but what kind of weird thought of "what if you actually want ocd forever?" ?!

i’m struggling so much with things that have happened in my past, especially in my childhood, things that i’ve done, the guilt and shame is too much and i’ve told my mum and she just thinks it was normal childhood things and part of growing up but i can’t let any of it go, my mind feels so messy, and some of the memories are blurry and it’s making me feel horrible and i’m so distressed i just want this to be over and im worried to talk to a therapist because of what they might say or think, can anyone relate?

I just want to be happy with my boyfriend and I genuinely don’t know what to do. How will I get over this… every time I find some peace something from my past comes to haunt me and I always find a reason as to why that means I’m gay. Every time I think well I’ve liked guys my whole life I convince myself that it was all fake. This sucks and I’m so tired of this. I want 100% certainty and I don’t know how to be okay without it. It wouldn’t be fair to him if I’m gay and I hurt him down the road. The last thing I would ever want to do it hurt him that’s why I want to figure this out and be done with it once and for all

I've probably been worse than this before, but there are times at the moment I fear for my sanity. I calm myself down, but it's so easy to get myself in state that I'm constantly on edge and can't relax. I recently had a routine cancer test come back negative, and I actually wish at times it had been positive so I could just say goodbye to loved ones and then die quietly - whilst still myself. I know the reality would be nothing like that, as I've seen first-hand what cancer does, but I'm tired and emotional. Still on waiting list for counselling at local practice. Just want to feel normal again.

Today I went to go play frisbee and I feel like I have convinced myself that I have NPD at this point because we were playing with the vice president who I’ve never played with before and she was explaining things and talking about stuff and I was like “why is she bragging” in head and then I was like “no she is just passionate about frisbee” and then I was like “what if you have a problem with women in authority because you think you should be in that position” and I kept spiraling and I have a habit of apologizing a lot and she missed a throw to me which ended up going way over my head and far away and she went “oh sorry” and I said it’s okay but then I was like what if I only apologize because I want other people to do the same for me? Even though other people had missed throws to me and I wasn’t angry or upset Immediately after she said I’m sorry it made me feel good and then I was like “what if I want people to apologize to me?” Even though she literally just missed a throw. I don’t know I’ve always been like what I’ve considered a very humble person so I feel like I’m drawn to people like that and maybe I’m intimidated by her confidence? And maybe that’s why I wanted her to apologize to me because I think she think she’s better than me , anyways I don’t know

My partner and I have not been having much s*x lately, and when it seems like something is about to happen I start to feel uncomfortable and nervous instead of excited. Is this normal?

I started with 25mg at first, then bumped it up to 50mg the second month. I've noticed some positive shifts in my mood. It seems like my brain is finally getting used to it, and I can feel a positive difference. Honestly I’m up and down with this medication and depending on what intrusive thought OCD wants to throw my way is uncertain , and two days again I wanted to switch to a different med completely but now I don’t know. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Anyway , my OCD has been throwing me the most disturbing thought. It involves a knife and someone’s eye (you paint the picture) I’ve noticed the more you don’t engage with OCD the more the thoughts decrease but then it’ll rev up and send you and even more violent thought just to trip you up and make you feel all those horrible feelings again. I still pushed through , and I also wanna say exposure has helped. I was so afraid to start my new job at Starbucks because I had to be around people and the fear of possibly hurting them , and I had so much anxiety leading up to the job that I almost didn’t go in and was gonna quit before I even started , and I’m so dead set on a sleep schedule that going into work with sporadic hours freaks me out because what if I get tired and the thoughts get worse. I had to push all of that to the side for this job and it was so scary , but it’s my second week and I’m doing it. I’m finally working , laughing and talking to people. Yeah the thoughts come , but an hour will go by and I’ll think to myself “wow , I don’t even remember a violent thought popping up” and also keeping a knife on my nightstand has helped too. Trust me I’m still scared , but I got hit with so many exposures that my OCD sort of calmed down , because after a while I realized I have nothing to worry about. Exposure therapy really does work , especially when the exposure isn’t planned , because let’s face it I have to work. I have to make a living. What I felt was a nightmare turned out to set me free in a way. Ain’t that crazy

I wish I was a normal teenager with normal feelings and normal emotions why do I have to feel every emotional so ugly why is my brain broken I just want to be normal and laugh about stupid crap go travel do good in college whatever I’m gonna be at my last year of being a teenager soon and. Feel like I wasted what could’ve been good years of my life What stories of me being a teenager am I going to tell my kids in the future when it’s all filled with horrible sad things sorry just needed to vent

Anyone ever journaled or wrote down their intrusive thoughts? How did they do it so it doesn’t seem like writing the thoughts down on a piece of paper make it seem like they are more real or true

I have a fear of losing control, and a fear of schizophrenia. so when I feel tired or fatigue or just any emotion really I think it’s a sign I’m going to lose control and then it makes me so anxious to the point I have a panic attack over the feeling of feeling tired. Anytime I feel a change in my body I take that as a sign I’m going to go insane? which makes me feel more anxious and makes it feel more real! Does anyone else feel like this or have any advice:( currently feeling weird and so anxious all cause I feel sleepy/ tired. It’s exhausting

feels extra real today, like i’m actually going to do it. i want to cry

Has caffeine made your OCD worse?

I'm 17,and My mind is obsessed with the idea that I could get a neurological disease and everytime I think it I have to touch a picture of God in my room(I'm Hindu) and it makes me feel safe. I used to pray for 3 hours a night but lately I've been shortening it by saying 'promise to God to pray at exactly 12 and be done by 12:05' for example and this has relieved so much anxiety. Well today, I was really anxious and I decided to put some make up on and quickly take it off before bed but I took it off 1 minute too late and now I'm scared God will punish me because why am I even wanting to practice make up when it's a materialstic thing and this is 'Maya' translated to desires ignorance in my religion. I've gone through so many phases where aive tried to give up Maya and sacrifice things like chocolate, music even studying because it's a desire and I think that by sacrificing this I can make things happen like going to my dream uni. I feel awful right now because I went to pray too late and it was all because of Maya.

I saw a TikTok of this really cute black baby and I had a really racist intrusive thought and now I’m worried I’m a really racist awful person. I’m convinced I commented something racist and I keep looking back at the comments to make sure I didn’t. I’m in college and I have to go down and get food at the dining hall soon because it’s going to close in not too long and the majority of people who work there are black and i‘m really worried if I do go get food I’m going to say something really awful and racist to them. I need to get food but I’m sooooo scared I’m going to call them the n word or something

im still worried that a two year age gap 16 and 18 is bad and that is a warning sign im a “p” or im grooming the person

hello, does anyone have any advice i’m a compulsive hand washer who obsesses about germs and as a result my hands have become very sore and cracked and even bleed sometimes and it hurts to bend my hands has anyone got any things that helped to reduce this compulsion as it’s causing pain now.

I’m going through what is hopefully just a really bad hypochondria episode where I’ve convinced myself I have schizophrenia. It’s been about 8 months and I’ve been through a range of crazy symptoms but the most prevalent symptom is getting crazy delusional thoughts like “what if my wife is a demon and trying to get to me” “what if nobody is real and these are all monsters/demons out to get me” etc etc. the thoughts are absolutely terrifying and they make me look at people differently, and i have to question myself whether I truly believe the thoughts or not, they feel so real, when they come on I almost catch myself genuinely feeling paranoid that they are 100% real and having a panic attack, but then the tiny bit of me that’s still rational brings me back to reality. And from then on I have to question myself all day “do I really believe this?” “Well you technically can’t disprove those things” “if it’s not real, then why does it FEEL real?” “This really is schizophrenia” “ what if it’s not schizophrenia but ACTUALLY real?” “who do I go to for help?” “What if I can’t trust anyone” etc, it’s literally hell. I can never give a satisfying “No, I don’t believe this” to these thoughts. I can go days and weeks and be able to confidently shrug them off and tell how ridiculous they are only for them to come back with a vengeance the next day. I could really use some reassurance even though I know it’s bad. I have never been like this before until I started obsessing over schizophrenia. I’ve been like this for 8 months now.

lets share with each other 🙏✨