- Date posted
- 2y
I keep getting an urge to touch a picture of a specific Hindu God so that nothing bad happens to my mum, idk what to do šš
Kickstart your recovery journey with a caring community of others
working to conquer OCD
I keep getting an urge to touch a picture of a specific Hindu God so that nothing bad happens to my mum, idk what to do šš
So, I do have OCD. Thatās not a question (Pure O mainly. Compulsions are mental and emotional checking and ruminating and comparing). And my OCD was ramping up pretty bad a while back so I started ERP counseling through NOCD. I learned some basic skills and good ways to respond and not engage to thoughts. But now, I think the therapy just brings things up that didnāt need to be that big. It makes minor things bigger. It brings overwhelm thinking I have all this āworkā to do, when I think what I need is to let go. Of course with OCD letting go is not a simple task, but hear me out. I didnāt do therapy for over a month and started feeling better. I used some of the tools I learned a few times and things just seemed more minor and less serious. Iām now postpartum with anxiety panic and ocd so I upped my therapy and I truly think itās making things worse. Does anyone else share this opinion or experience? I also think back to when OCD was darn near nonexistent and I was not in ERP therapy. I know things come and go but Iām just realizing this.
It started a month ago on vacation. I started getting intrusive thoughts about harming my loved ones in their sleep and it scared me so bad. I thought it would stop but it only got worse. Here I am a month later and things have changed drastically. My thoughts have now shifted to becoming some serial killer. I am so worried itās all I think about. I canāt stop thinking about the things I did as a kid and how it could validate all my thoughts. I donāt wanna hurt anyone or anything at all. I am so scared of the thought of the notorious serial killers that Iāve heard about in the past and I canāt stop comparing myself to these horrible people. Iām scared because I used to be mean to animals as a kid and people say this is the first thing to look for in serial killers. I remember still having a lot of empathy for them when I was young too. I look back and cant at all understand why I was like that. It makes me wanna breakdown and punch myself. All of that stopped a really long time ago and every since I have done nothing but helped and empathized with animals. I am every surrounded by them and consider them to be more family than pets. I get extremely upset over anything or anyone who is suffering. I just canāt get that memory of me doing that stuff out of my head and Iām afraid it means it validates my thoughts Iāve been having even though this is not what i want to happen. Iāve been completely avoidant of alcohol and refused to take a medication I was prescribed because irritability was a side effect and Iām afraid of snapping and hurting someone. I just canāt stop thinking about my past and how it could correlate to now. Even though I have grown up to have morals and respect for everything I have a fear that itās all been a lie. I get so much anxiety from thinking about this stuff. I havenāt eaten in almost 3 days because my stomach is in a constant knot and when I do eat I feel too guilty to do so because Iām not paying attention to these thoughts and sometimes it makes me question whether I secretly want to do bad stuff which I donāt and that scared me so bad. I made an emergency appointment right after I started having these thoughts and they diagnosed me as having schizotypal personality disorder. They said I have been having ocd ātendencies ā because I have the thoughts and constantly googling everything which I guess would be a compulsion. I have been looking on forums for people with past actions similar to mine to see other peoples reactions. Iām not sure what this is anymore. Idk if this is ocd or Iām just using it as an excuse. All I know is that Iām extremely scared. I vowed if this stuff as everything something I would even think about doing I would take myself out before I ever hurt anyone else. Itās scary but itās what I always tell myself when I doubt any of this.
I donāt think my partner is funny & this is what my OCD *loves* to latch onto & it makes me feel so sick. Havenāt felt this sick in a while & it sucks. Anyone else?
Hi ! Does anyone have intrusive thoughts of being betrayed and imagining the worse case scenario until feeling that it could be true, having trouble to trust your partner, friend and family ?? Is it part of ROCD ?
so today i had to give my manager my notice that i will be leaving the job because my second job is moving me to assistant manager starting so soon. i feel terrible that i let them all down and now that everyone hates me, that i hurt them, and that theyāre going to look bad at me and im a fuck up. i just feel like my OCD is making it bigger and i canāt stop ruminating on this and when i think more and more about it it cause me anxiety. is this normal and does anyone else feel this way.
I know itās not me I know itās not real and I donāt want to do anything but I feel like Iām going to š« š
This is a newer and more recent thing for me and iām wondering if anyone else has had this experience and can explain why. I have been having ocd dreams like intrusive dreams. My ocd is telling me itās because I want these horrible things but I donāt at all and itās upsetting that I canāt even get away from ocd when I sleep. This is so draining.
Hello all! Just joined the app and this is my first post, was diagnosed in 2021 and have made some good progress in self managing. One of the manifestations of my OCD that is the most pervasive and confounding is getting locked in on the feeling and meaning of very minor things, usually in video games or other interests. For example, with Pokemon Go I have certain Pokemon with a very high CP value (combat power, in case you donāt know the game). Thereās a select few where I canāt help but rack my brain trying to recapture some feeling or sense of childlike wonder. Like I try to put myself in the shoes of me or my friends playing this game in 2016 and how amazing it would be to have one with such a high value. I obviously used to have much more extreme reactions to these things as a kid, and for some reason it makes me hella uncomfortable when I canāt understand that anymore. I canāt replicate the feeling and I try to relate it to Pokemon of lower values, and what the implication of it being better than others or being so high may be and how it could look to others. An example I can more clearly describe college sports. As a kid, I would feel genuine apprehension and intimidation when I in a video game played against a team who was ranked in the top 25. Number one team, man I was pacing around the house hyping myself up to play them. But now when I play those games or watch the real thing, any top 25 team Iām instantly having to imagine them in a newscast or sports game with that ranking, what that would mean compared to traditional power balances, what announcers would say, and how intimidating the logo and ranking combo should feel to go against. Of course I canāt capture these feelings and it leads to my head getting tight and many muscles clench until it feels like Iām going to cramp and my head is going to explode. Has anybody else experienced something like this? Clearly, I have no clue how to put this into a concise summary and thatās really hard to deal with when I need to communicate it to therapists. Hopefully someone else can come up with better descriptors
So I was given fluoxetine for my OCD and I'm worried because you know I'm a Christian and I do believe one day God can heal me but what do I do with my meds my mental health doctor prescribed it to me I was wondering should I keep taking it many say I shouldn't because it is too much serotonin and it doesn't help like natural serotonin and now I'm worried
I am 22 year old straight male. In 2020 I had an OCD theme about if I am gay or not. It took me 6 months to beat that OCD. Recently when I was swiping through NOCD and a sudden glimpse of the word "Bisexual" caught my eyes. And a ocd feeling started growing with the question," If I am bisexual or not." Now there is no reason for me to think myself as bisexual. But whole day I try to tell myself why I am not bisexual. Things like, "Well, I get erection when I see a girl and I dont have feelings towards a boy. So, I am straight male." Can anyone suggest a solution. I have financial issue. So I can't reach any psychiatrist. Please help.
I wish I could get a brain scan or go back in time and see all of my thoughts and behaviors and know for sure if Iām straight or gay. I just want to know. I keep thinking back to when I was younger and Iāve only ever liked guys but I obviously canāt know that for certain. I canāt know if I forced that, I canāt know if maybe I had a girl crush and forgot. This is so hard and Iām so jealous of people that havenāt questioned their sexuality and just know. I just want to be certain Iām gay ⦠at this point idc if Iām bi bc at least I would still like guys
Good morning everyone. I struggle with uncertainty in general and am looking for mantras or ways to respond to anxiety when I feel like I need to know the answer right now. Sometimes the sense of urgency can make it hard to focus on other things aside from the thoughts so I will often engage in a form of reassurance seeking. Going to be starting NOCD therapy this week!
Hi everyone! I wanna share something thatās really helped me & itās to stop the cycle of rumination. Itās easier said than done but thatās usually what gives me the most anxiety. A thought only lasts a second⦠itās what you do with that thought that brings a whole deal of anxiety⦠at least for me. Of course thereās times where I catch myself ruminating and stop myself from it but Iām working on it. Itās hard when the thought feels so real that I have to check and analyze the memory that comes with the thought to figure out what I was thinking at that time but obviously this gets me now where. Thankfully after two long, hard weeks the sensation I had in my chest and body lowered immensely. I still donāt know how to accept the fact that I can be gay bc I have a boyfriend that I am terrified of losing so if I just accept that I might be gay that will ruin everything. If anyone has any tips on this lmk!!!! I think whatās the hardest for me is getting memories from when I was younger and trying to figure out why I did some of the stuff I did. Sometimes I get reassurance that Iām straight but often I get even more questions and anxiety. Itās like this is the one thing keeping myself from living a happy life with my bf⦠once I figure this out I will not feel anxious about anything else. Itās hard man. We can do this & we got this!!!!
So I've been struggling quite hard with my self esteem and life events which have exacerbated my hocd, pocd, negative thinking this past so many months. I'd put my life on hold, while trying to do things to build my positivity as the waiting list for therapy is ridiculous. I've been trying to push through ot by doing things I normally enjoy, like theatre. It's still been a struggle but I've been trying not to let this deter me. My mind right now just keeps thinking of the worst possible outcomes, with a helping of self critism. I've just found out I've got a new job that I could be starting as early as tomorrow, as a teaching assistant, something I've never done before but want to try as I've been in a rut in my life for so long and want positive change (even though change scares me too) Then I read NOCD's article on distractions becoming compulsions and it's giving me anxiety, which in itself I worry triggers more overthinking. My big issue right now apparently is confidence and a huge lack of self esteem, which has brought on my HOCD, POCD, SOOCD etc, pretty much anything negative my negative ninny brain can get ahold of and overthink. This job is new and anxiety inducing, but also wanting it to be positive and negatives give into the fear of it and the unknowns it creates. Building my self esteem (trying to change my brain's automatic switch to negativity thought patterns around me, get out of my own head) and trying to discover a purpose in my life could help aliviate my anxiety and OCD symptoms. Right now, I'm just sitting in them and letting them swallow me, despite my know I have to accept whatever thoughts come my way. I need to move forward with my life and do something. I know this isn't an overnight thing. With NOCD saying that distractions or doing other things becomes a compulsion in itself throws my head into more negative thinking, as if you're saying doing this is going to fail and there's no hope for me. I can't let myself believe that, because I don't want to live in fear, I want to face them. I want to live my life again and get my brain out of this pattern. Surely distractions or doing positive things (that are initially scary) will help to break my catastrophising thiught spiral and find it easier to manage my symptoms and get on with my life?
How do you guys deal with emotional contamination?
Can false memory make you have a theme that you did something bad and when you try to remember if you did you search for it and then something seems familiar and you think you might have done something sexual with someone years ago but you never thought about it till now??? I am so confused š I feel like I would remember this very clearly.
Good morning! My name is Zach and I currently suffer from what I believe to be harm OCD. I constantly have thoughts of hurting myself or others. It has really become exhausting and I need help. Iām currently seeing a therapist for it and just started ERP but I want to know more about this program and what it has to offer. I want my life back and I want to be in better control of my thoughts and compulsions.
Does anyone have any advice on how to best practice ERP? My ROCD revolves around constantly worrying about āwhat if I start to like someone elseā and feeling like the scary awful feeling of having to break up. I do a lot of talking out loud and envisioning the scenario happening (my therapist and I do this) but the thoughts and worries are loud and thatās not really helping right now. Anyone with ROCD have any advice?
So Iāve been dealing with severe ocd for the past 3 years.. Iāve dealt with it all my life but had up and downs and thought I was finally getting my life back and now over the weekend I got a huge trigger. It revolves around being intoxicated and having holes In my memories of that night. I was fine the next day and hangin out and then started to look back on the night and thatās when my brain picked the blank in my memory. It got really dark with the what ifs and the anxiety went thru the roof but now it has stuck and I canāt stop trying to figure what happened in those blank moments. Everyone I was with said nothing bad happened but I just keep having false memories. Anyone have these moments?š£š£š£
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life