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Is it OCD or something else with wanting to hurt someone but not in a gruesome way but just like I really want to trip this person kind of thing

for me, my thoughts are of constantly feeling like i’m acc following the devil, or a counterfeit version of Jesus that’s not actually him. & that fear of that evil is what i’m praying to and worshipping. & also a fear that i would desire that, bc it’s been a twisted temptation. then it makes me question if that’s what i really want, when i know deep down i want to only follow Jesus. i just haven’t discovered how to move on & leave these thoughts alone.

For some reasons i felt a swelling in my groin area, and then i thought that it would be terrible to have an intrusive image happen or worse, having that traumatic memory repeat in my head, and as i thought that i already knew that it was going to happen, i knew that my brain had already made up its mind that it was going to replay it, i tried to stop it but it happened immediately, i didn't want it to happen so it happened. Like a self-sabotaging machine. I didn't want to go there and it happened more easily. If I just let it go and didn't think about not wanting to happen it probably wouldn't have. It's because I engaged with the fear of not wanting something like that happen that it precisely happened. But what are the scientific reasons or the overall explaination for why the more we try to fight something FROM happening, it ultimately happens, and in additions easily? It feels like I'm digging my own grave everytime, there is a point while I'm trying to fight back with all my might where I simply give up and let the intrusive image/memory happen. It's like I ultimately sabotage myself. Maybe it's because the "battle" has to end in some way and the winner is always ocd, the intrusive thought, otherwise I'd go fighting endlessly. Maybe it's because I get tired of fighting Why is that? I'm trying to shift the attention from the immense distress that this episode caused me to the explanation behind the mechanism to understand and transform this traumatic experience from a triggering experience to a learning one. For my sake. Because I can't keep living like this. Everyday. I've had a traumatic memory repeat more than once. It's hard to live like this.

Does anyone’s intrusive thoughts feel like urges? Like it’s telling you that you want to do it but you really don’t and then after you get that urge you feel like you did the action? Idk if that makes sense

Has rumination ever helped you uncover small parts of the memory your obsessed with? For me it seems like this is happening and I’m getting excited at the idea of remembering almost everything and not having to deal with doubt and false memories surrounding it.

I keep ruminating over this one thought and imagining it on purpose to test myself and I get this really bad image the thought is really bad about ripping someone’s tongue out i don’t know why the hell I started thinking about that and it’s about someone I care about and an image pops in my head today of blood around their mouth and their face looking like their in pain and I got this weird feeling I don’t know how to explain it but it makes me feel like I ‘liked’ seeing that image and I don’t know if it’s adrenaline or what the hell it is because this has happened before where I get this weird thing where it feels like I enjoy or like something in my harm thoughts and I don’t know what it is the only thing I know is I obviously am concerned because I know I don’t want to ‘like’ that but at the same time I don’t believe I don’t like it because of this weird feeling and I keep thinking what if it’s some thing where I’m secretly enjoying horrible thoughts and I’m trying to deny it or cover that feeling that’s why I feel so confused? And if It was anxiety why do I not feel negatively or at least I think I don’t feel anything negative or when that feeling comes it doesn’t feel as thought it’s a bad feeling like as if it’s good or something ? I heard someone that apparently the feeling of excitement and the feeling of adrenaline can feel the same so maybe I’m getting Adrenaline from the thought because it’s alarming me but and I’m confusing it for feeling happy or excitement/enjoying? But if I was having adrenaline or feeling anxious wouldn’t I be feeling bad and it would be an extreme feeling?? Idk but I’ve almost become desensitised to these thoughts and it’s just made things worse at least when I use to feel anxious I knew I didn’t like them now it feels like I can imagine bad thoughts on purpose in detail and am not bothered by it and I literally go out of my way to think of them and sometimes I’m worried I’m not doing it to test myself and It feels like I’m jsut imagining something horrible but idk if that’s the ‘obsession’ part of ocd coming in but I have had no professional help for this and I’ve had ocd for like 2 years now I don’t know I’m worried as well that someone can ‘become bad’ because someone on this app said they think it’s possible you can ‘become your fears’ and then I started thinking what it I’ve taken a liking or started liking these bad things because I’ve thought of them so much and keep trying to test myself by imaging them? I literally feel like I don’t feel anything negative and like I don’t feel worried or bad or guilty about thinking these things like as if I don’t know what im feeling anymore I don’t know how to deal with this

My paranoia is about others in my life being bad people and doing bad things and having bad thoughts, is this OCD? When I try relate to people they just say they have these thoughts about themselves, whereas mine are always about others in my life? Thank you would love to learn more about what my problem is

hi i think this isn’t ocd related but it happens sooo much to me, like i set myself up to the idea that i’m going to talk to my boyfriend later in the day right, let’s say 6pm. then at 6 i tell him hey can we facetime? and he’s like oh noo, i have a thing with some classmates so i can’t. WHEN I TELL YOU i immediately go down, i get anxious, sad, angry at myself for getting my hopes up, and i end up taking it out on him. does this happen to anyone? i always feel so alone when this happens (like right now lol) thanks in advance

I don't know what to do, around five months ago. I was suffering a relapse of a previous theme I had conquered, I had proven to myself that it wasn't anything I wanted, but with this current relapse. Something happened. When I relapsed, everything appeared the same. I was avoiding, seeking reassurance, etc. It wasn't until the intrusive feelings of wanting did it start to go downhill. I was so exhausted at the time these feelings started happening that I myself decided to allow myself to believe that this was something I wanted. I know I shouldn't have. It was absolutely the wrong decision. That's when everything began to change. For some reason, whenever I had these wanting feelings around my intrusive thoughts, it felt like I genuinely wanted to keep them. Anytime it felt like I liked my thoughts, it felt like I was enjoying it. However and this is where I feel like a lot of people will find me stupid, but anytime these moments occur. I'm in complete mental anguish, I'm trying to force those thoughts out of my head, I'm desperately seeking reassurance, and I avoid everything like the plague. This alone should be enough to convince me that these thoughts aren't something I want and those wanting feelings aren't real, but it's not enough. Anytime I have a really bad emotional moment, I find my brain telling me, "Stop faking." Or "Why are you crying? You want this." It just brings me so much more distress. I know I probably sound crazy, but I feel like my brain has chosen to believe my intrusive thoughts are true while I myself am refusing it. I'm so scared. Anytime I find myself typing a post in hopes of people relating or giving me advice, I find myself feeling disappointed or saddened that everything I'm experiencing is a part of an illness. Please can someone just give me advice?

I just got home yesterday from seeing my long distance bf for the last 4 days and the moment I got home it felt like a part of me was missing… my mood always drops and the ocd thoughts start almost instantly… before I left I cried about how I didn’t wanna go, this is simply worth mentioning because I don’t cry in front of anyone except for him. This past weekend was just so much fun and I didn’t want it to end. I love him so much but ocd loves to butt in and try to steal my happiness….However I’m too stubborn to allow it to completely ruin my day/week…. I hope everyone has an amazing rest of your day ♥️

How do I tell myself to worry/do OCD stuff later. I’ve been anxious for different thing for a couple hours now and I just wanna take a break. But if I don’t do my OCD stuff in this exact moment, it won’t feel right and I feel like I will ruin it. Especially since a big event just happened and I get anxious during big events because I wanna enjoy them and not worry during, or in this case, after they happened.

Everything is so chaotic right now and I feel like I’m making a terrible mistake in my relationship. I’ve never been in a real relationship before now, just a lot of failed talking stages and infatuated crushes who didn’t even bother to look in my direction. And now I’m with someone who truly does love me and care about me, he checks of all by boxes, but now I’m worried I don’t actually like him or I’m just not that into him. I’m worried this is one of those things where they’re great on paper but I just don’t feel a strong enough attraction. I feel so confused and stressed and doubtful and anxious all the time. I don’t want to hurt him, and part of me so badly wants this to work out while the other part of me feels like I want to leave. The thought of being with him forever scares me and I worry it won’t be right and I won’t be happy. I also worry that I’m convincing myself to stay when I shouldn’t or deep down don’t want to. Every day it feels more and more like I want to leave. It’s just a mess. I’m worried I won’t ever be happy. I’ve been fighting for this relationship so hard, I’ve been trying so badly to make it work, and despite all the stress and anxiety, I’ve stayed. But I’m worried I’m just forcing a relationship that isn’t right. I’m so lost

Someone help me i have to find a cure for my intrusive thoughts. Im afraid that i will speak them out by accident, right now I don’t have money to afford a therapy, i just need someone to help me please.

Hi guys. I’ve been doing good lately which I’m thankful for. But yesterday I had a bit of a relapse. I want to a party with my boyfriend yesterday. I found myself very attracted to one of his friends. He had on a nice cologne too. I have met this friend a million times and never felt this strong attraction to him before. I have no intentions at all to leave my boyfriend for his friend etc. I love my boyfriend very much. But this made it worse, I felt so guilty and kept thinking to myself did I flirt? Even though I know I didn’t. Then I kept having thoughts of his friend making out with me etc which was so uncomfortable and just randomly through the night. Has anyone else experienced anything similar?

I'm at a kind of family gathering and I'm just hiding in my room, I wanna go socialize and have fun but idk I just can't and idk what to do!!! I don't wanna ruin the day for anybody

I recently got into a relationship about three months back but him and I have been talking since last year November. This is probably the healthiest relationship I have ever been in and the man I’m with is the sweetest and kindest person to ever exist. Before this I was in a long term abusive relationship and I would go through rocd constantly with thoughts such as I may like someone else or “I should cheat” even if I’m having a conversation with someone of the opposite sex who’s my friend. My boyfriend is currently on his senior trip and I was out with some of my bestfriends, one of them being a guy that I had a little bit of history with but I didn’t want anything from it because he wasn’t compatible in that way but amazing as a friend. While I was hanging out with them I constantly kept getting intrusive thoughts such as oh I should do something or oh I don’t even like my boyfriend and I kept comparing them for the next couple of days. I feel so guilty and disgusting and I know the thoughts aren’t true but I just feel so terrible considering how amazing my boyfriend is. I really do love him infact we’re planning our future together but rocd is just getting in the way. Any kind of advice would be helpful❤️

Does anyone else have a hard time playing a sport due to self-criticism/perfectionism? I used to love Brazilian Jiu Jitsu but started over analyzing techniques, judging myself, and comparing with others. Now I hate it. Is this ocd or ocd adjacent? Let me know and share any tips.

This has only started to occur within the last year (I’m in my late 20s). I’ve become obsessively concerned with every single sensation I experience in my body constantly. Realistically, I don’t have any health concerns (besides mental health). I have an intense fear of having a medical emergency in front of another human, I find it to be so embarrassing (only for me tho, if someone had a medical emergency around me I don’t think it’s embarrassing at all). I constantly think I’m going to pass out (I have passed out in public before due to heat and people were laughing at me). It seems like all my bodily sensations have now become foreign to me and everything I physically feel is an indicator that I’m dying. Anyone else struggle existing in their body like this too?

I did a bad thing when I was a kid. I feel like I dont deserve to move on and dont deserve to be happy. I keep thinking about the damage that I did and I feel like I deserve to be alone . And that I cant be trusted. Any advice?

Almost a year ago, I went to dinner with my now ex and his teenage daughter. I drank way too much (I was super embarrassed the next morning). Anyway, the day after I had a horrible thought like “what if I did something inappropriate to the teenage daughter.” Everyone assured me I didn’t. Then I found out her and I went to the bathroom together. That really amplified everything. Well today, I found out something I gave to my ex, he gave to one of his friends (outdoor heater). Now I’m freaking out thinking “what if he gave it to them because he doesn’t want to be reminded of me because I did something horrible to his daughter?” Now I am FREAKING out. This feels so real.