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I really think I've developed schizophrenia at the age of 56 after 20 years of harm OCD. I'm so worried and the more I think of it, the worse it gets. I'm so scared. Can anyone relate? I need to get the courage to see a psychiatrist.

Am I crazy for thinking that my boyfriend watching porn is cheating?

My boyfriend used to have a porn addiction and he says that he quit and I believe him but my ocd is crazy latched on to it and I just feel like every time he doesnt respond he is watching porn. I dont know what to do and I feel so so sick. Its making me feel gross whenever I think about sex or think about him being sexual and I feel sick with anxiety. I dont jnow what to do. Can anyone relate or does anyone have any advice? This is taking up every hour of every day worrying

My father just told me that I’m a bad daughter to him, and in our religion I didn’t get my parents validation, I will go to hell no matter what, so why bother live if I’m going to hell no matter what good I do?

Any tips on how to manage Relationship OCD thoughts?

So I’ve struggled with sexual orientation ocd for a while now, along with relationship ocd. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years as of yesterday (in a straight female, dating a straight male) and I was just on tik tok, and seen a girl who posted a picture of her crying and saying “me realizing I was gay and not wanted to leave my boyfriend because he’s my bestfriend” and now I’m in a whole panic attack. Because what if I’m gay and I don’t wanna leave my bf, or what if I’m in a denial, or something idk. And it feels so real. Idk what else to do anymore

Fear of psychosis ocd… For about 10 months now I’ve had an OBSESSION with developing schizophrenia or some related psychotic disorder. In the beginning my symptoms manifested as hyper awareness of potentially hallucinating and things like that but the main fear that has really stuck is the fear of having delusions. I’ve reached a point to where I can’t enjoy anything in life any for because according to my brain EVERYTHING has to mean something or is suspicious. I’m so suspicious of everything, “what if this commercial means something” “why did that person make that weird face” “what if this song has some kind of hidden meaning” “everything feels so fake and staged” “why did my cat look at me like that” “what if none of this is even real” “what if there’s more to reality than what we know” “there’s no way other people are real humans” “there’s definitely more than what the government tells us about reality” “this can’t all just be science and biology” etc etc. it’s fucking exhausting. I can’t enjoy anything anymore, everything has to have some malevolent intent or meaning. These thoughts feel real, some of them feel like they could genuinely be possible, but I don’t want to think about this kind of stuff, I’m not sure if I even care if there’s something more to everything that I’m missing, but my brain will not stop this search for delusional things to believe. It’s gotten to a point where everything just feels fake and staged like a big act or illusion. Government, politics, media, just day to day life, feels so fake and artificial. It feels like I’m losing emotional attachment to things I love and care about because I’m constantly getting thoughts like “why should I care? Nothings real anyway?” Etc. Has anyone ever dealt with this?FYI: I’ve been to NUMEROUS mental health professionals who do not believe I have anything more than just ocd and severe hypochondria.

Hey I’m new to this, I’m a 20 yo female, and I’m pretty sure I’ve had ocd since my childhood, but it’s gotten worse has I’ve gotten older. I never really understood my intrusive thoughts and always felt so sick and uncomfortable when I’d have them. They took a turn many months ago when they became more often and more intense. And I started doing some research on them and came across ocd (which I always thought was just when people don’t like to be unorganized and are like perfectionists or something) but as I was reading different websites and seeing how many types of ocd there was I noticed that I related to most of what I was reading. I still haven’t been officially diagnosed or found a therapist yet but I’m working on it. The past year has been the hardest with my intrusive thoughts. I’m mainly bothered by my pocd and I feel sick to my stomach whenever I get an intrusive thought about a child. I absolutely love kids and would never do anything to hurt them it physically makes me ill when I think about it. (If anyone has any tips to deal with this please reply😭) I think I have an idea to why I have those thoughts. I didn’t have the best childhood I was sa’d at 4&9 by 2 different people that were supposed to take care of me, and I have this horrible fear that i could be like them and it makes me feel so incredibly sick. I was also way too exposed to s3xual things as a child, my family was way too open about s3x growing up like I’m talking adults in my life thought it was okay to openly talk about it to me when I was 6/7 like it was normal. I wish I could explain more but this is already way too long. I’ve only opened up to a select few people about this so this was extremely hard for me, I’m literally fighting for my life… Thank you to anyone who cared enough to read this all the way through I appreciate it so much.🤍

My brain is attacking itself again to the point I am sobbing and hyperventilating. I am genuinely so terrified of being a pedophile I’ve been ruminating over things from my childhood and the intrusive thoughts I’ve had. I don’t want to be a pedophile, I am a victim of CSA and do not want to be anything like my abusers. I was groomed, sexually assaulted, and harassed by adults when I was a child. What if I turn out like them? What if they were subconsciously a role model. My POCD latches onto anything. My partner is almost 2 years younger than me, I like kids shows, I like stuffed animals, etc. What if that means I’m a pedophile? What if it means I’m a monster? I am so out of my mind scared. All I can do is shake and sob violently from this fear and disgust.

Repost because someone flagged my posts again, l'm asking this because I never had an experience with intrusive images like this one, it's new for me. l've never had intrusive images so vivid and real like this one + a familiar face associating with it making the intrusive image all the more real, and feeling more guilty and horrible because of it.

Hi, I’m new here. I’ve been dealing with OCD since I was 9 or 10 but only got diagnosed at 19, and started actual treatment a few weeks ago. I’m 21 now. I have severe emetophobia that fuels my health ocd and my intrusive thoughts have been so bad lately that I can hardly eat or leave my house. I don’t go anywhere except my bedroom and work. I even get anxious thinking about going to my living room. I started ERP with a new therapist, and I want to get better, but the therapy is so scary and overwhelming. I’ve lived this way for so long that confronting my fears feels impossible and I’m so scared to do it. I do everything I can to avoid anxiety attacks. I feel so unsafe in my own body because of the way I can’t stop fixating on certain actions and sensations. Does anyone who’s gone through something similar have any advice, or encouragement? I’m doing my best, but I don’t know anyone else with my ocd themes. Thanks y’all <3

My life is falling apart. I've been dealing with a really bad OCD flare up for over a month now and it's been really bad. I'm absolutely terrified of rabies and schizophrenia. But honestly absolutely any random "symptom" I notice scares me. Like rn I have a runny nose and I've just convinced myself it's my spinal fluid and that I'm gonna die and I'm freaking out. Also I've been dealing with personal issues. My two best friends one of which I was/am in love with completely abandoned me. Another toxic person is trying to come back to my life. I feel so lost. I'm so anxious, so terrified, so exhausted. Why can't something good happen for once? I just want to feel okay. I hate thinking I'm dying all day every day:(

Does anyone else feel like they are walking on eggshells being super careful about every interaction with anyone but their partner? I feel like I have to monitor what I say/how I react if I ever have an interaction with someone of the opposite gender who isn’t my partner. For example, I end up feeling so guilty for finding another person of opposite gender funny? And my brain attacks me and says I should only find my partner the funniest. And when I’m not currently ruminating/ doing a compulsion I can literally FEEL it searching for something to latch onto and it’s so exhausting

i posted this before but i’m freaking out rn has anyone else ever gotten intrusive thoughts telling you that right and wrong doesn’t exist and stuff? like, i get thoughts saying “murder isn’t wrong” “SA isn’t wrong” and i feel the need to prove it wrong so i ruminate and i do a bunch of compulsions because my worst fear is becoming amoral.. on top of that, i get thoughts telling me i shouldn’t fear losing my morals bc “they don’t even exist and it’s stupid” which hurts me even MORE. i posted here last night, i suffered because of a philosophy video i watched that triggered me so bad, saying morals aren’t objective and.. even typing that sucks for me because i get nervous. i don’t want to believe these things. my mind tells me these things and THEN i get terrible harm thoughts about animals, my family, friends. it then tells me that those thoughts aren’t wrong and doin those things aren’t wrong. i’ve been in pain for months and it gets better but as soon as it does it gets worse. i’ve been hiding the true nature of my obsessions but i cant anymore because i feaR these thoughts.. i even didn’t tell my therapist because i’m embarrassed.. nobody else seems to have these thoughts and when they do, it’s a bad outcome. i don’t know what to do

My dumbass OCD is trying to convince me that I was stalking this one dude I had a crush on back when I was 19-20 years old. I was a depressed teen who had never had a real crush on any guy and my brain just latched on to whatever guy had seemed respectable. And of course back then I didn’t know I had OCD so it was probably OCD guilt and OCD infatuation and guilt tied into that infatuation. 😞😞😞 I literally forget that that person exists on the daily basis unless I’m reminded of him but only through HIS friends of whom we have mutual. I don’t care where he is and I don’t think I ever truly cared and my OCD was messing me up with this weird crush I don’t think I ever had control of or even WANTED. My brain just convinced me I should want it because I was the loser girl in high school who never got any good guys 😔

Since my ocd started i feel really weird, like i’m faking my hole life and i’m not the person i know i am, it’s really strange and it’s making me feel like i’m gonna lose control cause i’m not being myself… i don’t know how to explain it but it feels like i’m constantly fighting and every single thing means i’m gonna snap and hurt someone i love

The past few days have been a lot better. But recently I’ve been struggling again with dark wicked unwanted blasphemous thoughts. Such as demonic thoughts, devil thoughts, Satan heart thoughts, worship thoughts & s soul thoughts. These thoughts scare me so much. Especially since I have been having False Memory and it makes me think I’ve accidentally said those nasty thoughts out loud. Sometimes the thoughts are demands of blank enter my heart which is so scary! Or it replaces there names. I just hate when my mind says I “want them” I don’t. I love Jesus & God so much and I feel like I’m disappointed them or made them mad. I don’t ever want them to leave me. Does God & Jesus love me even with these awful thoughts? Sometimes I just get so much guilt & shame. Last night the really hit me hard after being ok for the last 3 days. I just don’t ever want God & Jesus to reject me or look at me with disgust. I know He loves us so much but it’s difficult to see whenever these disgusting thoughts come. I just feel so “far” or how could He want someone like me. I try to remind myself a lot of us Christians struggle with blasphemous thoughts. Religious OCD is pretty common for having devil/demonic thoughts but it just makes you feel so evil. Any advice? Does God & Jesus still love me even with these thoughts, feelings, urges? I pray and sometimes I just feel shame. I love them. Am I okay?

I’ll be on TikTok/instagram scrolling and suddenly there will be posts like “if he does this he is probably cheating”….”this is a huge red flag and you should leave”…. “No matter how loyal he seems there will always be another girl”….etc. these posts trigger me very badly and lead me to checking memories and my partners past mistakes and I panick when videos talk about stuff my partner or I have done… and the comments are even worse :( it’s always people sharing their stories and saying “not to trust him if he___ blah blah” and it sends me into a spiral of searching if my partner is bad. Are people on TikTok just saying things for attention and scaring people or is it all true?

Hey everyone, I have OCD and Trauma. I'm currently working through trauma with my NOCD therapist with prolonged exposure. We decided that working through my trauma first would help to navigate my OCD. I wanted to know if anyone is going through prolonged exposure or is on the other side of trauma. I can't find stories online with people who are on the other side of trauma and ocd at the same time. I can't picture myself there, I just would like to know if there's hope on the other side. I fear that I'll get to the other side and my OCD thoughts will be true/I'll change into a completely different person. Its super scary. I know I need to do it but I can't see myself there.

I have no idea why but ever since I came across a video on rabies, I've been absolutely terrified of catching it. you can apparently go years without any symptoms and then once you start there's like no chance of survival. I've had no exposure or been bitten by anything mind you but I'm so scared that I've caught it or am going to catch it. I don't know why this fear suddenly came out of nowhere but I've been avoiding my pets because of it. Any ideas on how to get my head off of this?