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I have compulsions I did 10 years ago because of my pocd that still haunt me today. How do I forgive myself and move on?

Hello, does anyone have any advice on trying to stop doing rituals? My top ones have a lot to do with counting and anxiety over certain things. •the main one that bothers me SOO much is my bedtime alarm routine. I set all my alarms and then turn my ringer on and off 6 times. Then proceed to make sure my charger is plugged in twice. Then open and close my phone 3-5 times checking that my alarm is set. Once I put my phone down I checking the outlet one more time and the alarm one more time. •when I close at work I have to check the air is off at least twice. Then check the candle is out even though we never light it. After I look the door I pull on it 5 times These are just some examples. can someone please help on how to stop or at least lessen these!!??

Hi everyone! I was recently diagnosed with OCD after realizing my anxiety wasn’t generalized and learning that compulsions aren’t always visual/physical. I’m curious what compulsions you have/had that you didn’t realize were compulsions until you were diagnosed? For example, learning about rumination, reassurance seeking, and picking at skin as compulsions has been really eye-opening to me!

Listen I know everyone is going to tell me that reassurance isn’t the key to OCD recovery and while I agree with that for my future recovery the current theme I’m going through (which I will not disclose due to personal embarrassment) is so debilitating that honestly it’s affecting my ability to function normally day to day. I can’t do anything without worrying or feeling like an awful person. Tomorrow I’m supposed to reach out to my uncle who let’s just say should be someone who could give me some advice and reassurance. Like I said before I know I’m not supposed to seek this out but I can’t live with the uncertainty anymore it’s eating me alive and I need to be able to get back to being normal again. The thing is my uncle is probably going to think I’m insane when I speak to him and I’m so embarrassed. I’m so angry at myself and god for having this disorder. How do I deal with the embarrassment of having to open up to my uncle who might think I’m a weirdo after telling him about my OCD?

Hello, nice to be here and meet you all. I have had contamination ocd since I was a young girl. I am 45. It has gotten so much worse since I had children and lost my dear mother. I feel like I have no one to talk to about it and I am desperately searching for help and for community. Thank you for any support. I want to enjoy life again without all this worry, guilt, doubt, and shame. I would like to be free.

I don't want to be a pedophile. I don't want to hurt minors in any way. I only tried to help this person with their OCD and nothing more. I looked through the messages and I've been nothing but helpful to this person but I let them know what made me uncomfortable and things I wouldn't do. I knew better. I knew what to do and not to do, but I still feel wrong about this. At the same time, I don't think it would be wrong if a therapist helped an underaged person with intrusive thoughts that were sexual in nature. I don't know. I just don't want to be a bad person. I haven't had a spike in anxiety like this in a long time. It hurts. It sucks. I don't know what to do right now.

I've been with my husband for 9 years. I've had ocd intrusive thoughts about him being unfaithful or masturbating to pornography or unfaithful things like that. But never did I want a divorce. Back in January of this year my husband said he wanted a divorce, so my children and I left to families house because we had no where to stay. I ended up getting a job, and during this time apart from my husband I nearly, if not completely, forgot what most of my ocd intrusive thoughts were when I was with him. I felt good about myself, refreshed, and knew I could make it without him. Fast forward he ended up wanting to talk and here we are trying again being married and a family. Now that I'm back, the thoughts and feelings are back! I feel miserable with him. I feel anger, resentment, I can't seem to heal when I'm woth him. I don't want to regret getting back with him but it's almost like I do. I'm starting to believe that not only enjoy but LOVE being alone. I actually love the feeling and my life when I'm alone.

What is a good way to express to my husband that it's not helpful for him to say, make sure you stay committed to the process, when I've only just begun. I just got my diagnosis yesterday and actively fought a compulsion today. I confided in him that I'm in a guilt loop because of it, but that I'm aware and fighting on. That's when he said, "just make sure you stick to this because I can't do many more cycles of this." He's a big, just do it and get it done guy and I'm trying to convey to him that inches to him mean miles for me.

I was doing so good the last few months. I was beginning to be social again, hang out with friends, watch tv and listen to music, and suddenly it feels like I’m back in square one. I watched a triggering TikTok, I turned 29 recently, I got drunk, and feel like I’m going through a flare. I’ve been here before, but it’s so scary when you’re in the thick of it. I don’t want to be bisexual or a lesbian. There’s nothing wrong with it, I have queer friends and they’re amazing. It’s just not what I want. OCD makes me feel like I’m in denial or that I’m lying to myself. I will get through this. It’s just so hard, the doom feeling of what if I have to rely on my family and never find a career or get married because of this.

Last year, I lost my dad. I completely lost it and had to be put on antipsychotics and depression meds. I’m currently on Vraylar which is supposed to help with most of my diagnoses including OCD (according to my doc). She’s been trying to get me into CBT and read a 70 dollar book (my adhd makes it hard to focus so I struggle with reading); it’s not a favorite past time of mine because of that and my dyslexia. I’ve lost my ability to drive unless my wife is with me (she’s my safe person) and same goes for leaving the house. I can’t make myself drive or leave the house without a support human. My doc says CBT therapy will help but I’m so nervous that I’m going to be stuck like this forever. I rarely drove before my dad died but I did drive and since his passing, I can’t bring myself to do it. I get so many intrusive thoughts that I’m going to kill myself or others by driving. I’ve been in 3 accidents alone in my suv and so it’s not like I shouldn’t be worried (only one accident was my fault due to not checking my blind spot for reference). I’m an extremely careful driver but I think of all the worst ways it could go bad. Has anyone else dealt with this and has CBT helped? Are you driving or doing the things you used to be able to do again? If so, how did you do it? I’m at a loss here and my wife keeps pushing me to drive but I can’t force myself to do it. I get to the front door and I can’t leave the house even with keys in hand. Sorry for the novel but this is what I’ve been dealing with for the last almost year or so.

I can feel that an obsession with a false memory is in the beginning phases. I really want to nip it in the bud before I get carried away and spiral into a full blown obsession. Here are some ways that I was considering: - NOT posting on Reddit or NOCD about the memory, or seeking ANY reassurance. - NOT telling my partner or anyone else about it. - Going on with life as normal, as if it doesn’t exist. Does anyone else have any tips? I need to stop it before it blows up.

My rocd has been going on for almost 6 months now. I always have something new to worry/ruminate about every day whether it’s an old mistake my partner made or something new he said that triggered rumination, also some things I feel I need to confess. It isn’t just “sometimes” where it happens where I let it all out to my partner, it’s every single day we message/call I’m seeking reassurance from him or asking him 10000 questions, a lot of what I’ve already asked 10 times in the past and it ruins his mood. I have noticed I feel drained every day and some days numb/not much emotion with my partner? ( only since I’ve been having rocd spiral) I love him and he is perfect for me is it possibly just because of the amount of stress in dealing with is absolutely tiring me? He also said he is a bit less excited to call/message because of how I instantly seek reassurance and ask questions every single day for hours and it’s never a normal fun call. He said he knows he will get better if I get better and learn not to reassurance seek. He has been trying to find ways to cope with the stress like constantly gaming. Anyone else been in this situation where both sides feel drained/ a bit less happy? Does the happiness return once the person with ocd is learning to improve? Is it understandable that he is stressed/less exited to call?

I can't tell the difference between a normal thought and a intrusive thought .....what this mean

I looked up “why does it feel like I feel good from intrusive thoughts?” And the AI thing said if I’m feeling good from these thoughts that means it’s not actually intrusive. Isn’t that my answer right there? I also made myself think the thoughts that have been “bothering” me to see if I’d feel anything down there or if I’d feel excitement and nothing happened. Can someone just help me understand??

Does anyone experience a high level of anxiety when they wake up. It’s almost like I’m anticipating some thought triggering me. I woke up today sweating and I just sat there in the uncomfortableness of it all and it was miserable. I’ve been doing therapy work so maybe my stress level is high and that’s causing it

i've always loved kids and they bring me so much joy and light and laughter into my life, i was an infant teacher at a daycare for years before going to college. i've always wanted a family , a husband, kids, a cat (already have my baby boy kitty witty), a nice dog or two in a nice house with a job i love or to stay at home with the kids blah blah blah . now that i've been struggling with HOCD i'm terrified. i'm scared that if i have children one day i'm gonna go into psychosis and act on intrusive thoughts which i would never ever ever ever do but it's a scary feeling . it has made my whole view on my future change so drastically. im scared of having kids now even tho it was my dream for so long. when i was a kid if anybody asked what i wanted to be when i grew up i would say "a mommy" . it's just kind of annoying. anyone else struggling with this ?

Pleaseeeee Lord make this stop

I feel as though my life has been going a little TOO well recently and that something catastrophic is going to happen in order to "balance everything out" or make me feel less happy. It's preventing me from living in the moment and enjoying what's happening right now. Has anyone ever experienced this type of anxiety? Any tips on how to handle it?

On social media I will be scrolling and suddenly I see a post like “if your partner does this, leave!” “If they do this you deserve better” “this is a sign they aren’t loyal!” “If they’ve lied you can never trust them!” And if my partner has done something “bad” mentioned in a video I get sent into the worst searching spirals :( they can go on for hours. Also seeing people commenting agreeing with the post/sharing their experiences in comments is very triggering and I can ruminate/replay the video/comments in my head for hours or even days. Like I see so many people agreeing that a certain “flaw/red flag” that my partner has is bad and “worth leaving over” that I get convinced that my partner is a bad person and start asking him a million questions and end up ruining his mood.

How do you work through your relationship ocd when it focuses on real flaws? By real flaws I mean things that exist in reality, that cause you annoyance or bug you a bit or just make you feel anxious or turned off? How do you work through those in your relationship? Because I know that I can’t change my bf, especially since the things that bug me are just part of his personality, characteristics, and idiosyncrasies. And since I can’t change him, but these things still bother me, what do I do? I don’t want to leave, I want this relationship to work. But I get so stressed by the presence of these flaws because they leave me feeling hopeless with no idea of what to do to not feel overwhelmed or obsessed.