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Today I’ve been feeling like crap, I feel like I am losing my mind and I’m about to lose control. I feel so desperate at my own home. Do you know if this is OCD related??

Does anyone know if there’s a connection with Autism and OCD? I always thought I more had OCD but the more I’ve researched into Autism, I think I could have that and now I’m scared of which one I have or if I have both.

I feel like I just can’t do it anymore. Every new day brings new triggers and I’m starting to believe that I’m a monster that needs to be tucked away from the rest of the world. Not only for other people but for myself. I just want to sleep. I am so tired. And I can’t even begin to tell my family because they just don’t understand. They think OCD is simply cleaning and tidying up things and I can’t seem to get it through their heads that I’m living with this disorder, day in and day out. I just want some relief, even for a little bit.

my boyfriend (and his family) is going through a really hard time at the moment and I’m finding it really hard to be there for him. He has a lot of negativity at the moment (which is not his fault) and I feel like so much of it has gone onto me whenever I’m around him and he’s not himself We keep getting into arguments where he says that I’ve done things wrong without me knowing and I really don’t know if I’m doing stuff wrong or if he’s taking his negative feelings out on me. I keep getting thoughts that I’m doing it in purpose and I can’t tell if I’m actually doing it on purpose because of my rocd Because when we argue I say a lot of nasty things that I don’t mean and things that really impact our relationship I’m confused some days our relationship is fine and sometimes it’s so so bad like today we were just arguing the whole day and I’m scared I’m in a toxic relationship I’m scared I keep making problems and that I’m convinced I’m a bad girlfriend I keep getting thoughts to break up with him which would completely hurt him I just feel confused I don’t know what to do My rocd keeps getting triggered because we were arguing so much I was like i don’t think I’m in the right relationship it all just feels too messy for the perfect relationship I just don’t get how you know you’re in the right one???? I don’t want to leave him at worst but it’s getting so hard to deal with this I keep getting thoughts of someone i had a thing with in the past and I’m scared I’m not in love with my boyfriend

How do you stop? 😭

Hello! This is my second post today, so I wanted to ask about something. I’m someone who has a group of friends everyone is so nice of course but sometimes it gets so toxic (here are some important details: we are 8, and 3 of my friends talked to me privately because I did something wrong, I mean I was really doing bad mentally and struggled with depression and they didn’t like the fact that I distanced myself, of course I apologized and now I’m more careful and is trying to do my best to act in better ways). Well right now it’s been more then a year that I’ve felt like an outsider with them, not because they excluded me no, but because I’m faking my personality with them, always trying to be perfect, analyzing every word they say to me, I can’t even be happy with them, one time they talked in front how my boyfriend wasn’t their type and of course he’s my everything and he’s so handsome and I obviously defended him but everyone agreed that I was in the wrong, I try my best really but overthinking every detail about 8 different person to see if I did something wrong or not is so tiring, I feel like they all hate me, I just can’t anymore. Thank you for reading this, if you have any tips it would be really helpful (ps: English is my third language please dont mind the mistakes)

Hey all. I just need some opinions on if this is OCD or false attraction. This is long winded so I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read it 🤗. I am a happily married woman to my husband who I have been with altogether for 3 years & married for a year & a half. We may have different interests, but I love him. I hate cheating and it makes me physically sick to my stomach thinking about doing any of that to my husband. I go to this line dancing bar 2× a week because I love to dance. A lot of groups go regularly there. A while ago, I had this guy at a bar ask me for my number so he could add me to a group chat of a group of young adults that go. I felt like there was no harm for him to add me to a group chat so I gave him my number. He was somewhat attractive, but nothing was going to come of it. Later that night he messaged me personally seeming like he wanted to start a conversation with me & not add me to a group chat. I was quick to mention that I have a husband. He may have not known that I was married due to me being in my early 20s so I just put that out there to be sure that he knew nothing further was going to happen & could kindly back away. Probably a week after this interaction, I was planning my outfit for the bar because one of my best friends & I were going together. While doing that, I had the thought of "you're trying to look good for that guy". Instantly, my anxiety went up after that thought & I have had multiple panic attacks ever since. I have had intrusive thoughts of me being romantically involved with this guy that makes me scared that I'll actually cheat on my husband. I can't seem to stop thinking of this guy, which makes me question if this is ocd/false attraction or if I am really attracted to this guy and just don't want to admit it Any opinions and thoughts would help. I am really struggling with this one 😩

I think these advices aren't helpful, it doesnt actually help solving the problem and teach you how to react to it. This whole "its just panic, remind yourself that its not dangerous" is stupid. Thats reassurance, it makes you feel like youre lying to yourself and you just make yourself worry more. I didnt had panic attacks for years, i forgot how it feels like, then i got one not so long ago, i said to myself "this is just panic" but i wasnt sure, i forgot how it feels and it was first time for a while, i wasnt sure its panic, i was afraid something bad will happen, and by saying "no it wont its just panic" i felt worse cause i felt like im doing stupid move, im ignoring a potential danger. Another one is these advices many times is about the situations when you dont have panic yet but your afraid of it. But when you get panic it doesnt help to say "come on panic do your best" again it feels like youre crazy. There might be a potential danger but you say make it worse... this works when panic just starting but when youre there in the midst of it, it doesnt help. The other advices that people share are slow breathing, trying to relax, these doesnt help, even people on the net says that these are bad advices cause these make it worse, youre trying to calm down, which will make you worry more. Others say just sit with it, accept it, and these advices feel so hopeless and negative. People say this as you dont have other choice, you have to go through it,it sucks but it is what it is... and this makes you just angry about the situation. Its not taught how you actually do that. When i have it i dont know what to do cause i feel like im either avoiding it, im trying to sugarcoat it that its not dangerous, or im drowning in it cause i let it be there, but i do the same as i would do without knowing what to do... Another big one that its not talked about is when you have an actual problem and you panic. Noone talks about this, if you have an actual illness, or you feel sick and you panic. In these situations saying "its just panic i will be okay" its really stupid, you dont believe that, cause theres an actual problem. You feel sick you cant say everything is okay. I had this when i felt sick in my stomach a night at work. I was afraid i will vomit and i will be so sick, i was panicking, but me saying "its just panic" didnt helped cause there was an actual problem. Then i tried what i heard to try to focus on the feelings without judging it, how it feels, this made it worse. As i was noticing it, it got stronger and stronger the same way as it doesn when you hyperfocus on something. Lets say if a bird its outside at your windows, you just try to ignore it, you might hear it but maybe you just forget about it, but if you focua on it, how it sounds, you notice that it starts to get louder and louder and at some point you just hear that. This advice gave me a huge panic cause the nausea got worse and i really felt like i will vomit, and i got a panic. So this really makes me angry, noone talks about how you should face panic attacks...

anyone else wake up and instantly have bad thoughts about God? it makes me sick and i have gotten so tired of fighting these thoughts that I just kinda don’t anymore but somehow that only makes me feel worse… like i want these thoughts or something. I can’t win

I have screenshots of messages that i just found back in 2021 of me flirting with someone and me not remembering their age is bothering me really bad. And I texted an account i think it them to ask bc im worried. I’m so scared that what if they were super young and I didn’t care but I never worried about this before

Hello all, I was hoping to get some advice. I am recovering from surgery and I suffer from health/somatic OCD so it's very difficult to not think every ache and pain is something dangerous and life-threatening. I was hoping I could get some advice about how to deal with intrusive thoughts triggered by bodily pain as I heal. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

Anyone have precum with POCD and holding newborns? #POCD #Precum #newborns #baby #babies #parents — randomly holding a newborn and worrying about POCD thoughts and checking for days for groinal response and precum leakage and randomly checked once and maybe a self fulfilling prophecy a little precum was noticed but there are no sexual thoughts or sexual attractions to the baby. Am I pedophile or is this POCD?

Since some months ago, I've been dealing with intrusive thoughts, rumination and stress to the extreme, not letting me enjoy my life. It is not the first time that something like this happens. I had HOCD 5 years ago, and somehow after a year it stopped, but some months ago it came back, not only that HOCD, but new ones have appeared. It was always like this, there was an intrusive thought about losing control and doing or thinking things that I don't like triggered by random and inofensive events and then I would start ruminating and checking 24/7 for weeks. The worst part is that because of college I don't have time to talk loudly about my thoughts alone as I would like, so they keep persisting while other appears While my HOCD is less invasive now. Other OCDs have taken the spotlight, like fearing about becaming a conspiracionist who denies science. This one derived to another about losing my interest in dinosaurs which are my passion, I know maybe it sound stupid, but it was so real, it was seeing a Dino and don't be able to enjoy it, becaming stressed or not feeling joy like before...And well I should have things clear before it is too late if I wanna pursue my dream of becoming a paleontologist. Also, I had recently one OCD about "society influence in the world", like, I felt that since culture molds our values I wasn't being myself and that I had a "bad inner nature" althought I like helping people and I have always tried to be kind with all people. This derived in being scared about being bad for the sake of "being my trueself" and losing my empathy just because thinking about this Could anyone give me advice???

Hey guys. I'm currently in therapy for my OCD and we've began the process of having a more manageable life. The theme I struggle with the most right now is POCD, and its been this way for a good while now. The problem is I have one session every Wednesday, and this event I want to talk about, has happened today (Saturday) meaning I can't talk about with my therapist for another 4 days, which for me right now is going to feel forever. We're currently working on trying to stop myself from confessing and seeking reassurance, which I know is exactly what I'm doing with this post, and I know I shouldn’t but I'm really struggling right now and need something to tide me over until Wednesday. Essentially, right now I have a lot of fears around Pornography and watching inappropriate pornography, whether that be featuring people who are underaged, or other types of Pornography such as animated/cartoon. As a result of these fears, I had stopped watching Pornography as there was no way for me to enjoy consuming regular, normal and safe pornography anymore without me worrying about something inappropriate coming up, OR me having really intense intrusive thoughts to purposely search for inappropriate content and consume it, and with those thoughts I could really see myself in my mind searching for inappropriate, disgusting and weird pornography and so my mindset was if I don't watch pornography AT ALL, I can't possibly have thoughts to search for something inappropriate can I? Anyway, as a result of that, when it comes to indulging in self pleasure and things like that, it has become really difficult, in order to feel pleasure and climax I need to have some sort of additional stimulation (probably because I have ADHD), I wish I could sit there and fantasise with my mind but I can't come up with anything or focus on something for too long without being distracted, so I use audio or visual stimulation, like erotic audio or porn. Obviously I can't do that anymore so it's very hard to enjoy self pleasure etc. So, I thought if I bought a toy instead it would allow me to feel that additional stimulation and pleasure something like audio or visual pornography adds, and while it feels nice, I just find myself not aroused enough because there's nothing "sexual" going on, there's no sounds I can hear, no Visuals, I'm just using a toy on myself and it doesn't feel nice. Anyway, this is where the event comes in from today. I was at home and I was interested to try and use the toy again to see if I could actually feel aroused and enjoy self pleasure, because if I can it means I can just do this for pleasure and I don't have to worry about Pornography ever again. I was walking up the stairs and heading to my room when I heard both of my parents mention they were going out (meaning I would be home alone). I then had what to me is a really sinister thought of "Now my parents are gone I can watch Pornography WHILE using this toy and it'll feel great'. I then counteracted that thought with "I can use the toy but I can't watch or search Pornography" because of the reasons I listed earlier. Then, I was plagued with various intrusive thoughts to search for inappropriate pornography, as well as animated pornography featuring characters from video games that would be deemed attractive. This last part is based on a previous fear I had once. One time, I went to search for animated pornography of an adult character from a video game I found attractive and when I did, 9/10 of the search results I found were what I wanted, the other 1/10 was pornography featuring a character from the same franchise that SHOULD not be depicted in that manner because they're not an adult. Ever since then, I've steered away from searching for animated pornography because even if I intended to search for an adult, the fact it could come up with something different scares me, and I would be enabling that content if I allowed it to even appear on my screen. Anyway, there's thus character in a game that recently released that everyone online is head over heels for, particularly on social media spaces like twitter. As a result of that, my brain has now latched onto that and I am plagued with intrusive thoughts to search for that character in a pornographic manner. Now, if I was to do that, it would be okay because the character is over the age of 18, but to me I don't want to, because I know what else CAN pop up. I also am troubled by the thought that if I did search for content of that character, it would come up, which makes it even more difficult. Anyway, once my parents left the house I had thoughts to not only use the toy, but to search for that character, followed by intense urges and thoughts to do that, that felt like I really wanted to do that. I then felt sweaty and a wave of anxiety hit me and at that point I felt like I was doing something secretive, the act of a closested creep and pedophile. As a result of that, I just tried to use the toy and to no avail I wasn't pleasured, and at that point I wasn't even aroused or particularly in the mood (probably because of prior thoughts). This is where the event worsens for me because I then searched on Google for ways to use that toy properly because maybe there was something I was doing wrong which is why it didn't feel great. I then found a post on Quroa that was basically titled the same as what I wanted to know, e.g. "How to you this toy properly because it doesn't feel great" I then saw a reply to the post from a guy who's profile picture was an old man in lingerie, which I guess is fine, but then I noticed his reply to the original poster which was "since you're 14 years old, I wouldn’t use toys but I'd maybe try using a finger until you're a bit older and you never know what you might discover" I felt gross and disgusted reading this reply because I know its okay to sexually educate younger people, I get it, but it just doesn't sit right with me telling a 14 year old to use their finger, especially coming from an old man, but maybe that's just me. The problem with this, I then had thoughts I was turned on and aroused by this comment I read, where groinal responses soon followed and I felt even more perverted and gross. I then closed the page down and tried to look for other alternatives. I wondered if there was some sort of way to view and listen to strictly audio pornography, that's from a site that's DEFINITELY not going to come up with anything weird, or even video sites that wouldn't either. I basically typed in better alternatives to Porn, but it just came up with like "weight lifting" etc. My intention wasn't for better alternatives to pornography, it was for better alternatives to regular porn so that was my poor wording in the search. I then changed my search to ethical types of Pornography, hoping someone would mention a site where everything is checked, monitored and there were a few listed. After I found the names of some, I did an additional Google search to basically check they're legitimate and it came up with "similar results" and one of them was an article stating "IF YOU SEE WARNING DO NOT CLICK ! do not engage as engaging with any type of child pornography is illegal" and that threw me off and scared me so I closed all of my tabs. I then went onto one of those ethical sites, it was called Bellesa. The video I found on there was very normal and passionate and I was able to focus on that video and I felt genuinely pleasured, but then also guilty because I felt like I had done something wrong and sinister and pedophilic, hence the confession on here. I am worried that I have done something wrong. That I am a closeted pedophile. I'm looking at my family and my friends and all I can think is how ashamed and disgusted they would be of me if they knew I was a pedophile. That's not me saying I'm a pedophile by the way I'm just phrasing what my mind says to me. I look at everyone around me and I feel like why I can't I be normal like them. It doesn't help either I just saw an article that a pornography star was found to be in possession of CP and arrested for it. I also saw that Dr Disrespect a youtuber was outed for being a pedophile too. I guess when I see stuff like that it reiterates to me that pedophiles are real and I could be one. I am also going to show this to my therapist on Wednesday and go from there. Any words or advice would be appreciated. I'm feeling down today.

Yesterday was such a bad day for me,it felt like I was stuck in this chamber with my mind and I just cried and stayed in my room. Today I went out to make an effort at being productive but I just don't feel present and I feel so tired. I'm sitting outside the store cause I got dizzy and everything just felt weird while doing shopping withmy family. I feel hopeless. I knew death was a thing before this flare up and I was fine,I've had problems with this ocd years ago but I don't feel strong enough to endure. Now my mind just wants to ruminate, "maybe you forgot about death and now you're remembering it again and this is how it will be forever". The fact that I will die makes it so hard to stay "uncertain" with this OCD. It's making it so hard to do anything and enjoy life. I know it's my brain causing this anxiety,but when the thoughts overwhelm me it's hard. I'm gonna cook something today and make the effort to enjoy it.

Hello, does anyone else have a fear that could be aromantic or asexual. Can ocd make you fear that? I feel like it can. Ever since I found out about what aromantic/asexual was I've just been panicking ever since, like really bad. My brain latches onto past experiences and tells me "hey this is proof!" I can't really remember if I had crushes during childhood (I can't really remember my childhood In general) I think i did but my brain keeps telling me "no you faked it, you have never felt attraction you just picked out your crushes" which is common for aromantics. I'm certain I've experienced crushes throughout highschool, mostly on celebrities but again my brain keeps telling me I faked them and that lm delusional. I did once lie to friends when I was like 8 that I have a crush on someone at school becuase they did, (I knew at the time this is isn't how crushes worked, I just genuinely wasn't interested in most of the boys at school) this is making me very scared because this is something that most aromantics said they did (lie about or pick their crushes) but I only did it once still this experience is the reason my brain keeps telling me that I'm aromantic/asexual. Now everytime I feel like I'm developing a crush or feelings for a guy I no longer feel excited or happy I feel like I'm faking it and that I've been lying to my self and that I only find them asethically pleasing and I'm forcing all of my feelings and crushes. I really don't think im asexual/aromantic but I don't know, my brain keeps telling me otherwise and I feel I've been living a lie. It doesn't help I've never had a boyfriend and I'm very introverted so my brain uses that against me to.i also struggle to remember feelings I the past so that's doesn't help either. Am I living a lie? I don't know. Sorry this was long. I was just wondering if anyone can relate and what I can do to get over this.

my therapist REFUSES to "formally diagnose" me with ocd AND autism. She said she knows i have them but that she didn't want to officially diagnose me because she didn't want "it to define me" like girl come on. I cant get the treatment i need or the accommodations for school (i'm in my last year of college) without a formal diagnosis and she just won't. has this ever happened to any of you? should i go to a new therapist ? talk to my PCP maybe ? i really just don't understand it and don't know how to advocate for myself anymore than i already have !!!! please any advice helps y'all !

hey everyone recently i’ve been struggling alot with my eyes and where they look. i get very nervous about my eyes looking down at peoples privates. even when they are fully clothed. it started with kids mostly and how i had this fear i was looking down where there private area is. i would never purposely look at a child inappropriately but i try very hard to avoid looking down and the harder i try to avoid it the more it happens. this has all sent me into a panic because i feel like today when the child i was babysitting was wearing a dress and she opened he legs and i looked down and panicked. sometimes i can get over it and understand it was an accident. but i freaked because i feel like i know when im trying to avoid looking i’m like don’t look don’t look and then my eyes go down. this wasn’t the case this time however i think i was avoiding looking without even realizing. there’s also been a time where i looked down at someone’s priv area and was looking and being like see you’re not doing anything to be innapropriate. it is hard and i just saw a tiktok of a child and i was looking at his swim trunks and i felt like i was starring the whole tiktok and was sent into a panic and mental breakdown just because i thought i was starring and idek why or what happened. i constantly am thinking about this and looking down and trying to avoid without even realizing. this is happening so often with everybody now not just kids. i hope nobody thinks im a pedo when reading this i’m trying to stop but i feel like im going mad. if anyone has any advice or help please share. i feel like such a bad person like i am doing it intentionally. especially the times i feel like i am starring since most the time when i look i look away immediately.

I’ve had some traumatic experiences with my fiancée whom I love very much, although this was earlier in the relationship. He moved out too soon and struggled for months to get a job. I had to pay his rent several times and help him with other expenses as well. I became obsessed with helping him find a job, and making sure he was okay. He struggled severely as well with anxiety. He has a job now, although he is not through the probation period and he hates working nights and wants to switch back to day or find another job. In the meantime he’s also learning how to budget his own money. Suddenly he’s not so helpless, and yet I find myself unable to believe he can take care of himself or that I can trust him to keep a job or pay his own bills since it was such a long period of time beforehand. He has every intention of becoming wise and independent, and reassured me of this constantly, but my intrusive thoughts attack me and I find myself unable to relax or focus, and my love for him or anything becomes suffocated. He encouraged me to do some research and that’s how I found this app. I’m afraid but I also desperately want to change. Thank you for reading ❤️

Sometimes I'll have the general feeling Something Bad is going to happen. Is this common with OCD?