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the NOCD Community

I won’t share exactly what my intrusive thoughts/themes are (or at least all of them) but I genuinely feel like I might be traumatised by how horrible some of them were. How do I get over this potential trauma?

Does anyone else with OCD experience extreme guilt? How do you manage?

When you have ROCD, is it normal that you tend to start arguments without even knowing? I’m at a point in my relationship where my constant seek for reassurance and asking the same questions for almost a full year is draining to him and his patience is running thin. My questioning got worse whenever he would reassure me and later would admit he lied. He has apologized and claimed he has changed since he saw the pain it put me through. However in my brain I still hold that grudge and fear he will commit the act again, so I keep asking if he is telling me the truth when he reassures me. He says i’m becoming toxic and a broken record that it’s now effecting the relationship. Is this truly the cause of me not knowing how to control any of my thoughts? is it normal for someone with OCD to hold such grudges for long periods and not acknowledging they’ve genuinely changed?

For the girlies, does anyone’s OCD get SO excruciatingly bad during their luteal/menstrual phase, and I mean to the point you consider you might have PMDD? My periods have been getting so bad for me this past year that I DREAD it coming up, because I am hit with a major depression that lasts for two weeks at most, and it can get really, REALLY bad. Does anyone know how to somehow combat it? Like is there anything I can do to help increase the serotonin lol.

When you had your first false memory experience did you think it was real because you didn’t know ocd could do that or did you feel like something didn’t feel right about it and suspect it was ocd?

I genuinely have like horrible horrible thoughts that disgust me, and I need help because I know they aren’t normal, and I never would ever act on them. My parents are more then willing to put me in therapy but I’m scared to bring it up because what if they ask details, I’m also worried about talking to a therapist about it because these thoughts alone are just so shitty, I don’t want to go to like a ward or something like that. It’s genuinely concerning me because they won’t go away, and they just are there. It makes me feel disgusted and I hate it.

Im having intrusive urges to harm a family member and have not been able to think of anything else in 5 days and i feel the urge is just getting stronger.. The only time im safe from these thoughts is when im sleeping.. why are they not showing up in my dreams?

Last year my dad tested positive for Covid but I went to the movies with my brother a day or two after! I wasn’t gonna go but my brother wouldn’t stop asking so I caved in and went. I wore a mask and thought I wouldn’t get anyone sick. Even worse, I went to the supermarket afterwards! Only because it was a quick trip and I passed people quickly. I can’t remember if I wore a mask but I’m sure I did because I wore one at the movies. But don’t I belong in jail for being so careless? Or at the very least, shouldn’t I feel guilty everyday for the rest of my life? I’m a monster. I can’t live with myself.

Please share your stories! I have really bad real event, false memory and POCD. I’m struggling a lot right now feeling undeserving, feeling like everything I’ve ever done in my life was meticulously calculated. Funny thing about OCD is even if I see someone do something way worse than me, it won’t phase me unless I’d done it. For example, something minor I did that really could mean nothing, my OCD convinces me it proves my ocd right. In light of the disordered times, I’d like to ask for someone to share their ocd recovery story, maybe some tips and how they did it. It’s feeling pretty impossible for me right now. Thank you!

What to do when you are alone? I just read that the toughts get worse when you are alone. What do you guys usually do when you are left home alone?

Im extremally scared of mens,especially boys in my age Whenever I see one Im getting disgusted and I frezze,its tiring Im scared they will think about me in a sexual way,even though there is no a single sign or reason for why they would do this After all Im trying to dress and look like something between a girl and boy Im awkward when it comes to them and I feel threaten by them,Im alwats getting mean and repulsed I just want to have a boy best friend who can show me that not mens are the same,Im literally obsessed over it and Im always trying to find the proof I feel scared when anyone ships me with a boy and Im starting to cry I only feel this sometimes though,since I started to have intrusive thoughts about it and basically my childhood I think it can be linked with how does my father act and that I was attacked by stereotypes by my whole childhood,also I was addicted to porn as a kid,especially the ones with a lot of sexual violence,and I think thats why I feel like that

Hello everyone. My name is Julia and I have very bad OCD it’s debilitating. I’m hoping this app will help me. My worse part of my OCD as of now is my fear of bugs and my fear of getting myself or my kids sick. I wash my hand about 50 times a day sometimes more and take three showers a day on most days. I am on medication and it doesn’t seem to be helping much. My arms have cuts all over them from washing my hands so much. I pray I can connect with others with OCD of any kid and maybe get coping skills. Nice to meet y’all 💗

It seems to me, that, OCD really flares up in times of idle, lonliness, boredom, etc. Perhaps its a result of lacking hobbies during down-time - too much time to just think. I'm a university student and it always seems to be the worst during the break periods like summer and winter break. I'm in a weird spot where the OCD feels normal and doesn't really bother me, but does at the same time. I don't find myself consumed by fear so much anymore, but more annoyed and frustrated at the presence of OCD thoughts. I experience religious OCD mostly, and yesterday I was less fearful and more just genuinely angry that I was having thoughts about hell and the afterlife. So it still feels like it can consume me at times, but I suppose ERP is also working in stopping the fear response. Perhaps, the anger I'm experiencing nowadays comes from being too hard on myself and impatient. I'm not sure. I'd love to know the community's thoughts on this.

Hey so I’m currently in high school and I graduate soon, but I’ve been struggling with symptoms of OCD maybe since early high school or my late middle school years. They’ve definitely gotten worse in my early high school years and I’ve caught onto them and talked to a family member about it, they said I could possibly have OCD. I pondered on it for a while and talked to my parents. They both laughed about it with each other and my father claimed my “mother had it and not me because I don’t do what she does” because she always needs things straight and in order. Ever since then I never bothered again to open up about it and kept it to myself. I’ve told a couple people since then and I got responses that didn’t do much for me, I’ve gotten “oh yeah you definitely have it I got some people around me that also do these things-“ and so on, or “oh maybe you have ADHD or-“ and then after that I didn’t say anything altogether. I don’t know what to do about diagnosis which is the main reason I got this app. I just hope there’s some more people like me out there that are struggling and can’t do much about it. No one around me gets it like I do and it’s so frustrating. It’s definitely not as bad as what I’ve seen from other people but it definitely eats at me everyday and can mess up my relationships and make me overthink my life and the environments around me. It holds me back from so many things and it’s stressful. I just need to know what I can do to stop it. Sorry for this depressing rant, I hope some of you can relate.

Hi to anyone reading this. I haven’t ever posted on here nor have I really spoken about my experiences with OCD so hopefully this will all make sense. I began developing obsessive compulsive tendencies in my last year of college, and it really started to get serious when I graduated and moved back home. I was okay for a couple of months until my symptoms started to get really serious. I was in denial and believed that I was just being ridiculous and needed to get over myself, so I never thought to ask for help. I didn’t have many friendships to begin with (most fizzled out since we all moved to different areas after college) and the one friend I did have didn’t treat me very well and would tease me about some of my symptoms, so eventually that ended as well. I looked for a job for a while but never found anything, so I didn’t get out much. I spiraled into a dark episode of ocd and depression for about two years. I never left the house unless it was necessary and became a shell of a person. I was so exhausted from just existing on a daily basis, I couldn’t fathom how anyone did more than that. I eventually realized I couldn’t get better by myself so I sought out a therapist in 2023. In January of 2024, I finally felt comfortable enough to begin taking medication which has dramatically improved my state of mind. Though I still experience some symptoms, I don’t feel suffocated by my own brain anymore- I can finally breathe. Now I’m at this point where I need and want to get back to my life again. But since I was stuck in that episode for so long, I don’t really know how. Most people my age (23) have friends and jobs, some have even started families already. I don’t know how to catch up to my peers again. I don’t know how to make friends and go out or what to do to establish a career. I feel so lost. A part of me thinks that it’s too late but I know that’s not really true. I just can’t believe how much I’ve missed, it feels like having ocd took years of my life that I was supposed to be having fun and learning and growing. I don’t know how to start living instead of just being alive. I feel like I’m starting over from scratch. Has anyone felt this way/ is going through this too? Does anyone have advice?

I was hit with a particularly disturbing thought loop this morning. I am already feeling the intense urge to compulse. I am trying to work through it, but I just wanted to come on here and empathize with everyone. This stuff is seriously hell on earth and it makes me want to cry :’(

nsfw I have a really big masturb-tion compulsion and it’s becoming a habit… and it’s starting to feel like automatic. I get the thought, or groinal response, or I hear a noise, and boom I have to masturb-te… it’s really annoying and it makes me feel so gross. i sit there for such a long time in my head trying to finish this compulsion and it’s like before it happens i feel a sense of dread like not again…here we go…it happens multiple times a day or sometimes it doesn’t happen for a while then something triggers it. it feels like I like the thoughts in the moment, then when the compulsion is done i feel gross and sad and want to disappear. I hate living like this. Does anyone have any info on this or goes through this? I feel alone

Hi, does anybody here relate to waking up every day wondering what "to do in life". I am a woman who have worked for 20 years in the same field with hidden and untreated OCD which I thought I was "handling". I didn't know what it was and was convinced that my life would be destroyed if I said the truth about the daily thoughts I was bombarded with and my paralyzed avoidance. So I just kept going until it all collapsed by it self and I was diagnosed with OCD 18 months ago. Now as I am slowly understanding more and more I suddenly realized that every day I doubt my work and if it's the right thing to do. I still have some deals where I am supposed to deliver, and despite this it feels like my professional life is like a joke, I am a joke, so I ruminate at about what to do thought-out the day and then again the day after not doing what I am suppose to do to my work. I never thought about this as part of my OCD but it suddenly occurs to me that it very well may be. Very greatful for response. Wish you a wonderful day with good recovery.

I know this is sorta reassurance but idc rn I never post in here anymore so pls someone can you comment without judgment. I feel like ocd always puts intrusive images of like sexual things of people I’ve seen in the past, and in my head things seem so vivid and real but I’m sure it’s just ocd bringing up a farmiliar image but it wouldn’t be properly detailed or anything or be exactly what I’ve seen before I think it’s just ocd trying to trick me? Can someone please just give me a tiny bit of reassurance that I wouldn’t be able to remember clearly and detailed these things I’ve seen in the past… sometimes I struggle to even picture anything properly, so how could I actually be remembering proper details? It still doesn’t mean I’m turned on by these images regardless of if it was a clear image or not, because these thoughts make me feel gross… but like if I’m trying to picture my partner and the image maybe isn’t perfect does that mean it’s still him because my intention is to think of him and I and I feel like it’s hard for me to visualise things of him in proper detail nomatter how hard I try, he tries to tell me not to worry and he doesn’t care how I imagine him as long as I’m thinking of him

I’m so scared to go on this trip with my boyfriend since i had a thought of suffocating him. i’m scared i actually want to do it and that I’ll act on it. i don’t want to go and i’m so scared of what the thought means. i don’t want to hurt him and i want to avoid the whole situation so i know that i won’t hurt him.