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the NOCD Community

Ive been told that I have POCD bc I was molested as a kid. By two practitioners (therapists who treat ocd/trauma). Im not sure I buy this. What do you think?

Do any of you guys suffer from so bad that you can’t leave the house

man idk I have been suffering all summer I have been getting really bad thoughts about the TRIGGER WARNING devil and God and how I don't believe in it but the thoughts are so bad. I just hate them. I also don't feel like I could go to heaven when I think like this and all I keep doing is worrying and worrying about the people I love. I'm so terrified of the thoughts I keep getting and everytime I pray to god somethings always interrupts my prayer. its like what should I do then? also I feel ugly and fat because I have been eating a lot and I normally starve but this summer my family has been making so much good food that I have just been eating and now I have a belly bump that makes me feel super fat and ugly also I gained a lot of face fat. I also keep feeling useless cause I just play games all day but idk what I should be doing because I cant find a job (I'm not a adult btw) and I feel like a low life and also nobody wants to hire me idk why but because of that I'm really suffering and very scared to go back to school because my family cant afford to buy me new clothes so I have probably just 1 outfit. I feel like I'm rotting. I feel like its in my head and showing through my body as well. I really just wanna stop these intrusive thoughts aka religious ocd worrying ocd and others. I wanna go back to being like a normal kid with normal thoughts but I cant. also I don't know what this is but everytime I look in the I start freaking out because I start focusing on all the light and weird particles that are in the dark when you close you eyes and I start freaking out because I would feel like they wouldn't go away and if I looked at somebody with those articles I'm still focusing on they could die.

I read many articles about this, cause i dont know how to accept thoughts, and i hear "just let it come in, let it make you feel bad, let it make you feel anxious or depressed. So in my entire life, everytime i will have a negative thought, intrusive thought or disturbing thought, i let it make me feel how it wants. Im in a depressive season right now, i have many disturbing thoughts, i have to accept all of them to come in my mind and im acknowledging every thought and letting them make me feel how they want? Poeple are angry here that i ask this many times but i dont see any progression there...I tried to do that and gave me a huge depressive feeling and i started to panic. Now im overthinking if that depression means something deeply about me or not... and also if i find some thought patterns, should i change them? Or just dont engage in them? Also not engaging for me sounds like avoidance,.cause i avoid to engage in it. This "sit with it, accept them, work through them" doesnt make sense to me. When should i say this is an ocd thought in dont have to figure it out or this is something that i have to think about?

Hey, I’m here to ask if anyone is comfortable with sharing, how has medication helped with OCD? How does the medication make you feel / does it make you feel disconnected in any kind of way? Or has it improved your life significantly? Thanks!

My ocd has progressively gotten worse throughout my life. When I was about 10 years old I started to have these intrusive thoughts that would tell me I was awkward and embarrassing to be around so I would ruminate about every social interaction I had and hyperfixate on how other people reacted to me that would give proof for the intrusive thoughts that I was these things. So I started to isolate myself in my room for most of my life and dissociate because of how strong these thoughts are and the unimaginable shame they make me feel until I developed harm ocd. I'm 18 now and I dissociate every time I go outside because I feel like people are staring at me or want to hurt me in some way. I still feel like people think I'm awkward or retarded (hate using that word but that's how the intrusive thoughts make me feel) Does anyone else experience this or know what might help me get through it? It would help to know I'm not alone at least. Thank you for reading ❤️

I recently went to my PCP for routine bloodwork, that I wanted, just to ease my mind and make sure there weren't any issues that needed attention. When they called with the results, I couldn't answer the phone. I felt an immediate sense of doom, my hands got tingley, and I just couldn't answer. It took 45 mins of crying, pacing around, and convincing myself that everything was going to be alright, to finally be able to call back. I had this done on my own, I requested this so I could try to stay on top of my health, I had NO real reason to be scared of any results.. My health anxiety seems to be different than the majority of fellow sufferers. Most people will run to the Dr for any and everything. I am the opposite. I don't want to know. I'm terrified. I've been this way since I was a kid.... I want to know that I'm healthy, but actually going to the appointments and having the tests that can tell me that...is like a nightmare for me. Does anyone else have this type of health anxiety? Has anyone found a way to ease the fear? My logical brain tells me that if there ever is something wrong, I'd want to know as soon as possible, so I could get treatment immediately. But my panicky, overthinking brain, is more powerful and won't let me do that in peace. It's exhausting wanting to be healthy and keep on top of things when you can't muster up the courage to go to the doctor like a normal adult. UGH

Is there anyone out there who has tips and tricks or getting out of a spiral or preventing one. Lately I’ve been struggling with not giving in to my compulsions but it’s so hard. Any good advice or tips on anything reducing anxiety or spirals would be so helpful.

it’s my sisters wedding tomorrow and i’ve arrived at the venue, i am struggling to enjoy the moment due to my intrusive thoughts, it feels as if i am drowning in my mind and i don’t deserve to be here, does anyone have any tips so i can enjoy myself. i just want to be normal i’m only 16

Please send positive energy. Our son has been struggling for quite some time. He’s done in-patient, PHP & IOP as well as meds and doing ERP for about 5 months. Fighting very hard to resist compulsions but still falters, which is to be expected, but those days are horrible for all of us, as the confessions and reassurance seeking is constant. The intrusive thoughts are there all day, every day, torturing him. Please tell us your success stories so we can remain hopeful. Thank you & much love to all💕

Please give us positive vibes. Our son has been struggling for quite some time now and doing ERP for about 5 months, in patient PHP & IOP. Working very hard on resisting compulsions but his “bad” days are horrible. We know it takes time… Please tell us your success stories . Thank you & much love to you all💕

A few months back, I was struggling with intrusive thoughts about my Dad. I was having thoughts like he was looking at me inappropriately, like he was going to hurt me, etc. But now, I don't even know if its OCD anymore. He says stuff like he's going to k1ll me, and he's going to punch me. I flinch around him, and I don't feel safe in a conclusion. At first, I didn't blame it on him, said it was my fault I'm feeling this uncomfortable way, and he would never do that. And I have a feeling he wouldn't, but he still makes me uncomfortable. Its also that he doesn't respect my boundaries. I have this thing about people looking at me for a long time. It makes me incredibly anxious and uncomfortable. I know its a strong request, but i just mean constant looking at me for long periods of time. So in order to feel more comfortable, i spook out about it to my family. To say the least my sister is the only one who understands and respect that. My mom try's to, but at least I don't get uncomfortable from her stare. My dad doesn't even care. He says "your my fucking daughter, I can look at you if i want" And when i tell him it makes me uncomfortable he says "I'm not looking at you inappropriately??" but it feels like he is sometimes. And i hate it. Cause i feel like its all my fault. I feel like its all just my paranoia and my OCD telling me he's looking at me like that. Cause then i tried checking. (ik, i shouldn't be, but I'm a day or two compulsion free so :DD) But i tried seeing if he looked at other people the same way. And he does, he looks at my mom, my sister the same way. But when he looks at them in that way, it doesn't feel creepy, and it does when he looks at me. I have a feeling this is all just OCD, its the effects of struggling with intrusive thoughts. it scarred me and now my brain cant undo it. Idk..

So I’ve been having a lot of mental obsessions recently and my OCD has mainly focused there instead of physically. It kinda just switched up which is odd and I’m not sure what that means. But it’s getting pretty bad. The ones I’ve noticed so far is ruminating and not being able to let things go. Whenever I get anxious about something I’ll go back and think about it over and over and my mind will keep bugging me about it until I can properly reassure myself. No matter what it is something will bug me and I’ll go on and on for hours thinking about it even just waking up from sleeping. I just recently opened up to my mom about something not exactly bad or crazy but just personal to me because it’s a more softer side of me, and now my mind keeps eating at me and bugging me that it’ll affect something or maybe I said the wrong thing. My mind is just now fixated on a certain part of what I said and keeps bugging me about it and it’s actually pretty stressful. I’ve never dealt with this amount of Pure OCD (I’m not diagnosed yet but that’s what it seems like from what I’ve researched), and it’s getting worse. Another part that is bugging me is not being able to let go of it, no matter how much I reassure myself my mind won’t let it go. I have to constantly get reassurance either from my partner or myself and sometimes that’s stressful because then I’m anxious that I’m being annoying or too much. I honestly have no idea what to do and it’s becoming a lot for me. Can anyone help?

I ignore the thoughts and keep trying to do my uni work, sitting with the anxiety and not listening to the thought, why is it not going away? Is that the same as sitting with the thought? Am I doing erp on the thought by ignoring it and continuing with what I do? Im freaking out I don’t have ocd

I work as a Digital Art Instructor for my job, and recently we've started opening up workshops to the public. This Friday, I have to teach a class on how to draw chibi anime characters and I'm absolutely petrified. I can barely eat or sleep and feel like crying all the time. My imposter syndrome is killing me and I feel like such a fake artist who has no right to be teaching anyone. My boss obviously doesn't care and hasn't been too kind about it, which is whatever because it's not her problem, but it doesn’t help. I'm just so frustrated. I hate being like this. This is supposed to be so easy. I know comparing myself to other people doesn't help, but I just feel so useless. Why is everything so hard for me? I think the worst part is, even when it's over and done and I'm somehow able to function again, I know I'll have to go through it all over again next time. Not necessarily looking for anything, just venting. Kind words are appreciated or any recount of other people dealing with this would help make me feel less alone. Thanks.

i could be fine one day and then all of a sudden go into this long period that lasts a few days, sometimes even weeks where i feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. i will be talking to my boyfriend and think to myself “ is this really my boyfriend do i even like him “ or i’ll look at my family and be like “ is this really my family “, i feel so out of touch with reality and it is so scary. things look distorted, i feel like i am behind myself 24/7, like i am watching myself through a movie or something. it is so scary and i feel like there’s something wrong with me, and what sucks is i cant even explain what i feel, and i feel extremely alone. my birthday is coming up and i feel like i wont even be able to have fun because i will feel so weird and not present at all, i dont know what to do and i will feel this way out of nowhere. some days its worse than others, idk i feel like im genuinely losing my mind or that im gonna lose my mind and go crazy. is this normal?

I just had groceries delivered. I struggle really badly with contamination ocd, and the delivery guy left the groceries on the ground behind my car, without any bags. Just straight on the ground outside. Now I don’t know what to do. I feel like they are too dirty to bring into the house, and I don’t want to eat from anything that was touching the ground…. I feel so stupid, but I have been panicking for an hour not knowing what to do with them. Even if I wipe them, it feels like they won’t be clean enough and are still dirty and contaminated.

I’ve been dealing with this harm theme for almost four months now, and well obviously life hasn’t been the best for me, the thoughts really circulate on hurting others, why couldn’t they just been about me instead? (I apologize to those currently suffering from self harm ocd) it’s gotten to the point where I don’t know if my thoughts are really intrusive now, and it doesn’t help that I get urges to act on these thoughts. Why have I been cursed with such vile thoughts why me why now. The only good news so far is that I’m finally going to see if this is ocd or not and get diagnosed by a psychiatrist once I start college here in a few weeks(Thank gatos for my college has mental health resources) but honestly it just doesn’t really feel like ocd. I don’t know if I feel anxiety because it’s not the typical anxiety I feel. While my compulsions are mental it’s just wierd. Like I’m worried that ERP wouldn’t work for me. Sometimes I get thoughts like, how do people live without these thoughts? And how do they occupy their time? I know I used to be like other people, yk where I wasn’t worried or concerned because of these thoughts, like yeah I’ve had intrusive thoughts before in the past and they absolutely scared me, but I was just able to get over them. So why now does it feel like i can’t shake them off? Why do they have to show up everyday? And why have I become so apathetic? Like my empathy and sympathy feel like they’ve disappeared? And it’s so bad that sometimes I feel like if someone close to me just passed away I would feel nothing. Like when I heard my abuelo had skin cancer I just felt nothing and I was obsessing over the fact that I didn’t. Has anyone ever felt this way? Is it just ocd or something worse?

Hi everyone, I am 20 years old with ADHD and i need some help. Recently, i got diagnosed with OCD; and i am dealing with Real event OCD/intrusive thoughts. When i was 16, i said something out loud (i think that was impulsive/intrusive) that was immorally wrong and against my morals. I was aware of my wrong doing, yet i still said it because i announced it in a “jokingly way” i completely regret it and ashamed of it. i don’t want to go into detail on what i said, because i don’t feel comfortable. But anyways, at the time i didn’t think what i said was “bad” and i just brushed it off to the side. then 1-2 months later, i came to the realization, that what i said was wrong. Since then, i have been fixated on the event as i feel like a “bad person”. What is wrong with me? Why would i say that? I feel like i don’t deserve pity or forgiveness. I don’t know what to do. I am not trying to find reassurance. I just want to find people who share similar experiences.

about a month ago i experienced an intrusive thoight about becoming a murderer and it completely shocked me i panicked and began searching things up and came across intrusive thoughts and ever since discovering them i have them all the time and they are on my mind 24/7 i’m paranoid that i’m going to become a murderer and revently i’ve been afriad that it’s not ocd and it’s just who i am and what i have become and i’m a physco i live with a constant guilt tjay i am looking at people the wrong way and my mind is convincing me i’m evil but i would never hurt anyone but even typing this my mind is telling me i’m lying i have such a headache, i have had anxiety issues before