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the NOCD Community

have none of my posts been public??? is NOCD erasing them??? or are people avoiding me??? I can’t tell. someone PLEASE reply. I’m genuinely getting upset & I need help

Like just chilling having a good day then you start searching inside for something wrong something you done in the past or you start making things up just to lead you in failure

I have been dealing with soocd now for two years (sometimes it’s worse than other times)..I was doing just fine and have been talking to a guy I really like. We are about to go to the beach together and BAM my ocd is making me question everything if I am even into him and if I like girls instead..I’ve never had a crush on a girl. I’m terrified that this theme will come true..I just want to be able to enjoy this time at the beach, but I’m scared it’s going to be ruined because of me thinking I want to be with a girl :( any words of wisdom or advice would be greatly appreciated because the ocd is LOUD right now!

I was on a dating app ( I’m an adult ) and I seen 16 or 17 year olds using the app no big deal right ? Just change the age filter to my age which I did but I still can’t shake off what if I message an underage person so I just deleted the app all together to make the feeling go away which it still hasn’t

From what I’ve read online and comparing that to the actions I do I’m starting to think I have it. Not sure though. Are there any REAL accurate quizzes I could take?

Hello, my wife has OCD and is having swirling / respective thoughts about our dog (whom we’ve had for 8 months). The dog is a runner and has run away a couple of times. We have installed an invisible fence that now has the dog very timid to use our back yard. My wife feels suffocated that we have to walk our dog for exercise and bathroom activities. She obsesses over the invisible fence, situations of finding someone to care for the dog when we go away, fear of him running away, and the activity of having to walk him every day. We have handled all of these situations pretty seamlessly but she continues to obsess and seek reassurance. She has threatened to get rid of the dog (who is truly a love). Her panic and mental breakdowns, irrational scenario thoughts, continued “but” statements to solutions, and continued need to talk is hurting the family. This is not the first situation - there have been many obsessions since moving into this new house, including the house, the move, a paved driveway, hardwood floors, and more. There is always an irrational obsession - it’s really adversely affecting the family. Any thoughts / support would be much appreciated.

Hi, everyone. I'm new here. I was diagnosed with OCD in 2021, during the height of COVID. Ever since I was little, I had struggled with my brain latching tightly onto disturbing thoughts and feeling intense emotions relating to them. However, during the height of the pandemic, my stress levels were off the charts, and this caused my OCD symptoms to get worse. I decided to get tested and do research as a result. I briefly had a really good OCD therapist, but my changing insurance situation meant I had to find another. I've struggled to find one in my area who actually specializes in OCD treatment, although therapy has still helped me with other things. I did briefly have a therapist who was very unhelpful, which scared me off from therapy for a bit, but I'm trying again now. My sibling has been immensely helpful during my journey with OCD. They have been so supportive during all of this and have talked me through many intense OCD episodes. I also appreciate that they've researched OCD to figure out what are and aren't healthy ways to support me. I am deeply grateful to them.

Hi I’m new here for about 8 months now I have had this it all started after my friends made me take a gay test and I got gay and I started having anxiety and bad intrusive thoughts and images they really bothered me a lot and I had lots of anxiety I have lost attraction to girls fully like my mind every time I see a girl is pretty it feels like I’m lying to myself I constantly now stare at guys and their butts or gronial area and my mind everytime goes oh that guy is hot or cute I’m also 16 so I’m really confused on whether this is ocd or not before this all happened I never questioned I always had girlfriends never thought of a man like that also when I say to myself I’m not gay this little area in my stomach says your gay and also my head says your gay but I don’t know if this is intrusive or not so someone please help I don’t know if this is Denial or not

so recently i’ve got into a relationship with someone who i love dearly and deeply care about but my OCD has now latched onto consent and boundaries, also i have a massive fear of “what if i pressure her or make her feel pressured” wether unintentionally or intentionally, ive been compulsively asking chat GPT about consent, boundaries and that kind of thing, and im so scared, i would never want my girlfriend to feel uncomfortable, i’ve told her about this and i said how scared i am about it but ive told her that if i ever do please tell me, but what if she doesn’t because she’s worried if i spiral? i’ve told her though if i ever do please let me know, also before our first kiss i keep going over everything that was said or that i did, and im so scared that what if i made her feel pressured or anything, i asked her afterwards and she said not at all but im still scared. I don’t want this to ruin our relationship, also another fear is “what if i miss one of her non verbal cues of her being uncomfortable or something like that. also before we kissed i asked her are you sure like 5 times and she said yes she wanted to, but then i told chatGPT about it and it said i could of pressured her by asking that, i know i shouldn’t if told chatGPT and im trying to stop, but this is so overwhelming for me, like what if i said something that made her feel pressured? obviously i would never intentionally do that, but im really scared to be intimate with her. and even if we are just holding hands or hugging my OCD says im doing something wrong, i truly can’t tell if im overthinking it or not, and, im just posting this to see if anyone can relate or share some advice because im truly stuck and feel like im going to pass out with the stress, guilt and anxiety, im so scared.

I'm scared that I might be abusing my sister, l'm 22 woman and she's 16 and a half, we fight like other siblings but sometimes we get in physical fights, and lately I started to think what if l am physically abusing her and it's not just regular siblings fights? and I started to get many thoughts and questions like what's normal in siblings physical fights? Do other siblings get in physical fights like us? in this age? Is it even normal to get in physical fights with your siblings? if it's normal, so what's the fine line between a normal siblings behavior and demostic abuse? I started to search about it and I find an essay written by a therapist who was talking about this topic and the fine line between sibling rivalry and siblings abuse but it stressed me even more! he described sibling abuse with "forgotten abuse" and that's just what I was thinking about it! I was asking my self what is the difference between that and physical abuse in romantic or parental relationships? why it's not acceptable at all in those relationship but in siblings no, it's just regular siblings behavior?Why? is it because of the environment we grew up in that have so much tolerance with abuse? we're in an arab county, we used to beat each other and just make up after 5 minutes, we grew up doing this, of course this is a toxic behavior but it doesn't make me suddenly an abuser! or maybe I am! I really don't know anything anymore and l can't shake this idea! and I started to freak out and think that I'm a horrible person and an abuser that needs to be sent up straight to jail and root in it. and no it's not ocd because we don't act on the intrusive thoughts but you just acted on the thoughts and hit her! I'm just a horrible and dangerous person who can't communicate my anger in a healthy way! what the difference between me and our mam and dad when they used to hit me when I was a child? I'm just like them and I turning into them? this is my worst nightmare! I prefer dying over this! so please give me your opinions, do think this just harm ocd playing with me or no, it's not ocd?

can ANYONE see this post??? I don’t know if my posts keep getting removed or something because I still see them but don’t know if people can. if that’s true, then that sucks. but if people did see them & no one replied, I’m going to think I’m an actual evil person and will have to take action to game over myself. I don’t know if this post will be removed bc I tried to censor/reword what I wanna say. someone please, for fucks sake reply if u can see this. I feel like I’m going crazy

What do you all do when u have tried your tools and techniques and the panic has lasted for hours????

I've been dating someone for almost two months and I've recently started to struggle with rocd. It's a new theme for me, as I've never been in a relationship before (or at least not like this). I've been having intrusive thoughts like "what if he doesn't fall for me like I'm falling for him?", "what if he leaves me because of something I do or say, or just because I'm too difficult to deal with?", "what if I'm just a distraction and when he gets bored of me he'll leave me?", "what if he cheats on me?". These thoughts are really giving me a hard time. Everyone tells me to "take it easy" and not to worry but it doesn't help. My worries intensified after a discussion we had about polyamorous relationships and relationships in general. He's not polyamorous, but he has friends who are, and he says he finds the concept fascinating. I told him I do too (and it's true) but I could never be in a polyamorous relationship, not even an open one. We then talked about the seriousness of our relationship, and he said he doesn't think it will ever be too serious (note: we had this discussion like a month ago, and I'm pretty sure our relationship got more serious from then: for example, I met his close friends, he invited me to go to his house the next week, and most of all I had my first time with him; so what I think he meant is that this relationship will not be "too serious" like it's not leading to marriage lol). This led my ocd to make me worry about him not actually liking me, cheating on me because he doesn't really consider ours a "relationship", and all the intrusive thoughts I have described, although I know they are just irrational worries. I'm also dealing with a lot of stress these days so my ocd worries have intensified. I've been thinking about opening up to him about my struggles with ocd (he still doesn't know I have ocd), but I'm scared. Do you have any advice about dealing with rocd? I'm falling in love for maybe the first time, with someone who I genuinely believe likes me a lot and is falling for me too (even though ocd makes me doubt it), and I don't want to ruin everything. Sorry for the long post but I really had to get these thoughts off my chest :')

In my previous post i explained how due to my disgusting thoughts and feelings i have stopped engaging with the things i used to love such as my nice clothes, music, tv shows etc… This is because 1. i believe i dont deserve to enjoy these things and 2. i dont want them to be tainted by my terrible thoughts and feelings. Anyways, this has caused me to abandon a lot of the things i’ve received from people or i bought myself, Like a new JC tracksuit or a brand new camera i got for my birthday. I haven’t used these since my birthday (jun 7th) because i am terrified of ruining them. They’re infact my most prized possessions and my mum believe i hate them, im ungrateful and that i love wasting peoples money. I don’t. i just cant tell her why i don’t wear my nice clothes or branded fancy shoes because she wont believe me. I sound insane even trying to explain my behaviours rn. i hate the way i live. I don’t wanna be like this but i don’t wanna ruin my favourite things either. This rule applies to everything in my life. Oh as a side rule, once i ‘poison’ something i cant use it again. Recently i’ve been trying to break out of this habit by coming back to the things i once ‘poisoned’ but it makes me feel the same dirty way i did when i tainted it. It brings back all the bad memories and the things remains tainted forever. I fucking wish i could enjoy everything like i used to but i can’t. Its so difficult and i just feel like shit for it. I feel guilty about making my loved ones ‘waste’ their money and i don’t wanna be like this anymore. I haven’t listened to my favourite songs in months. I’ve been rotting in the same clothes for god knows how long and i haven’t been myself in a long time. The more i live like this the further i feel the things i love slip away, leaving me terrified of ever going back to engaging with them because they’ll get poisoned. I’m sorry if this post makes no sense but i just can’t deal with my mum making me feel so guilty all the time. I can barely speak about my feelings on here to people who understand and can sympathise with me let alone my mum who has no real idea how i feel and thinks my ‘ocd’ was a phase when i was 12 and just some joke.

hi there! so after i got together with my partner, i found out i have rocd :) it's excruciating and new to me, so i really have no idea how to fight it back. i constantly have thought regarding my feelings towards him bc what if i dont love him? what if I've been pretending all this time? what if i'm confusing love for something else? i also have a really hard time processing positive and happy feelings bc i usually get this punch in my gut, as if I'm not supposed to feel that good feeling (idk if you can relate). well that too makes me believe i dont love my partner and it's really really tiring because I can't stop doubting my feelings. yk how ocd is the doubt illness so I'm used to it, but i am so so so sure that i love him, I've never been so sure about something in my life and i literally doubt everything. but what if I'm just avoiding the truth, what if I won't admit to not love him bc i dont wanna hurt him? who knows anyways it's really exhausting and i could really do some advice. thank you in advace :)

How can we forgive ourselves for some really bad past decisions that affected a lot of the things ?

Hi guys. I'm asking for help on different ways of approaching groinal responses. Whenever I have intrusive thoughts, like really bad ones, I can feel my heartbeat "down there". I used to always associate it with arousal so now I just feel like I like thinking about the intrusive thoughts I've had about POCD and other stuff. It makes me take a shower everytime to "clean" myself but I need help because it's exhausting. Does a heartbeat down there always mean arousal? Do I make it happen because I just think "don't happen" a thousand times in my head?

Hi has anyone tried this medication before for OCD? I’ve been on it for just over two weeks and I feel like it’s made my POCD worse. I’m on 150mg btw.

I have been on this app and on treatment for almost a year now, and I am recovering, but I have recently started experiencing false memories- I feel like it’s my OCD trying to interfere more now that I am unbothered by my symptoms. Recently I have been having moments where I wonder if I had said something terrible to someone or if I committed an act, it feels so real but it’s never as vivid as a real memory. It’s like trying to remember a dream. It is okay, I know I wouldn’t have done any of those things.

I am so tired of waking up in the morning and being hit immediately by my OCD and anxiety. Literally, before I can THINK about anything it’s like something hits me in the face and all the thoughts and worries come crashing in my head and within about 3 seconds my body reacts and I get instantly fidgety, I feel nauseous and I feel panic setting in as if something horrible is about to happen. The first thing out my mouth is, Father, help me!🙏🏽 it’s all I can say because I’m so overwhelmed with waking up that way😢. I really don’t know how to help myself. I can’t remember the last time I’ve awaken and felt at peace or could just breathe and I mean years, decades even. I would love some tips on how to help myself with this.