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Today is a bad ocd day. I have intrusive thoughts about possibly being autistic- and it all started when my mom said “when you were younger i thought you were on the spectrum” and like a month after that i asked her about it again and she said she was joking and that I was just sensitive to clothing- like as a kid I wouldn’t wear certain socks bc they were itchy or whatever and she said its really “not that serious” and “you are not autistic.” And i felt okay for a while- pretty reassured. But its been really bad lately 😭 i was seeing autism symptoms and i was convincing myself I relate to them or that I “acted” very autistic as a child. And i keep checking for childhood memories and picking out the “most autistic memories” 😭😭😭 like how I didnt like certain clothes or was sensitive or how I was very blunt sometimes and I got so anxious I just had to stop googling and cry for a bit bc I felt so scared. I don’t even know why the thought of being autistic scares me- well i guess km not even scared its just the uncertainty of not having the answer to that question is causing my fear. Before my mom triggered these thoughts- it NEVER even crossed my mind. And i really just want reassurance right now and I feel like asking all my friends and family members if they think I act autistic but I wont do that this time bc I just go in loops 😭😭😭 I have asked my friends before and they say not at all but then im scared I am secretly autistic and just really good at “masking”. Plus everytime I meet someone my first thought is “do I seem autistic to them?? Should I ask them?? No no thats odd to ask- that will make me seem weird- and I will have a bad first impression… but what if they think im actually autistic? Do i come off as autistic??” Then i analyse every interaction again to see “how autistic I seem” and i am just soooo tired 😭 sorry this was a lot of writing- but truly, thank you from the bottom of my heart if you read it all 💕💕💕

I am a parent of child and I struggle with pocd. After two years of difficult struggles and now in ERP focuses therapy I know so much. I know I am not the content of my intrusive thoughts and that thoughts do not equal actions. I've learned that if you get triggered and do a compulsion you can retrigger yourself intentionally to respond differently. Last night I went to pick up my baby and I noticed when I did my hand unintentionally touched his pens area when I was holding him. It wasn't in any sexual way or even something I intented to do. It's just the way I was holding him which I have that way millions of times before. For some reason my ocd made the sweet moment of holding my son into it being weird by shouting to me in My head how my hand was over his private area. I knew this was irrational but the anxiety swept over and I compulsively sat his down bcus I felt icky. After a few minutes I retriggered myself to the cause or my anxiety and picked him up the same which is a normal way to hold babies might I add and sat with the discomfort and it began to pass. Why does this still give me the ick? Am I ruminating too much

Has anyone struggled with having thoughts that they think evil will make happen? I have magical thinking focusing around scrupulosity and when I have bad thoughts, I think badness will make it come true. And since I'm in a constant state of ruminating and anxiety, sometimes these things happen. Well that just makes my ocd insane! I can't seem to break the cycle. I hope I can even send this because I will think something bad while sending it...ugghh...It makes me Agoraphobic because I can't compulsions everywhere I go. How can therapy even work with this??? Feeling so hopeless...I'll probably post this and then delete it because I'll be scared what it will conjur up...

I was just talking with my therapist (she’s not an OCD specialist) and she said that my OCD thoughts can come true! 😭

Anyone else so used to making / hiding their OCD, that it’s hard to take it off and actually talk to your therapist about it?

I was reading on another group where someone said OCD was a neurological disorder. I thought it was an anxiety disorder? 🤔 which is it?

scared i believe the thoughts make sense and that im in denial. i dont want to think they. make sense. I’m scared

I have been dealing with intrusive thoughts for a long time, and while most of them don’t affect me anymore, there are ones that really concern me and make me feel panic. They make me feel like I could actually act on the intrusive thought and I’m just holding myself back from it. It’s really scary and I don’t know who I am anymore.

Hey guys, so I just wanted to know if anyone has gone through somwthing similar. But about maybe 2 years ago I had this onset thing where I thought I was gay (I'm a female btw) And it really stressed me out for weeks. I have a bf too, been together for 6 years now. But at the time, this actress I like. She's really pretty and attractive in my opinion. Like I just think she's the prettiest woman. But this was before I got diagnosed with ocd. But I told my bf two years ago and he was like I really don't think you're gay and he did tell me if I was gay or bi he wouldn't be upset. He kinda tested me too and told me to try saying " I want to kiss a girl" out loud. And I couldn't even finish the sentnece cause I was like nah I don't want to actually lmfao. It sounds silly but that's how we are. So it was a honest convo we had and it kinda went away up until now. I was just really stressed out cause I've been with him for so long that I was worried I'd ruined something. And right now I'm going through a similar thing again, I'm not sure if I am straight or gay or bi. And I know I'll never know for sure I guess or in denial. But I guess I'm confused because even when I was younger around 12. I was interested in woman's bodies and rather looked at them, and when I found out what s*x was and all that. I just wanted to look at woman's bodies never really men. But I always had crushes on male celebrities and male fictional characters, or anime men and so on. Even fangirl over my male characters and daydreamed about them. Even so, I was rewatching supernatural a few weeks ago and was gushing over Jensen Ackles. So I'm confused. But even till this day I just think woman's bodies are more attractive and I get these like images of wanting to see them n*ked I guess. I swear I'm not weird. It's just like a image that pops up in my head cause I guess I'm wondering how they look?? But when it comes to guys, I mainly like their face or how they appear or personality. But growing up, I always imagined me with a man or my male characters and all my crushes in school were guys. But I did have a lil confusion if I was gay back in middle school which I know it's nothing wrong. And my family is accepting of everything so there's no issue if I was. But since I think about it now. I think what if it was cause I didn't know much about same sex dating back then? So i just thought boys and girls get together only. So that's how I wanted to be? But since this theme has popped up again, I'm just unsure. I already talked to my bf again about it this week and he personally thinks I'm not because of all the men I always fangirled about. But now I'm just not sure if I'm even attracted to men anymore. I just get stressed out. I also think I'm a lil asexual too so it's hard to tell even more now. I just wanted to know if anyone has had this experience before or has gone through something similar. Sorry it ended up being long haha.

I really hope I don’t offend anyone with autism but a while ago my friends mom (who is a therapist) told me I might have autism and that freaked me out, I don’t think I do, and I thought, well I have never been diagnosed by a doctor or had anything come Up during school for it. And now one of my friends sent me a post and said it is something I do and I checked the comments and MOST ALL of them say if you do this you have autism… and I sent it to another friend and asked if I do it too and she said yes. I just am so confused because how would I have gone all my life and not noticed ?

I had this problem recently because I went to stroke my cat and I touched her neck and it triggered me because before I’ve had a problem with intrusive thoguhts about strangling, also I have a problem with testing myself by imagining thoguhts on purpose to see if I’m bad or good but it’s got worse. I literally since it touched her neck that time it felt like an urge at the time and I was worried but now it’s happened a few times where I go to stroke her and I think I’m testing myself and I grab her neck like I’m testing myself but it seems really bad like why am I doing that almost testing squeezing her neck for a second and I’m worried, I got anxiety flush feeling come over me I have been numb to a lot of ocd feelings and I got anxiety flush like almost hot and cold feeling but it felt real and almost like an urge to keep giving into that compulsion/action but now I’m thinking am I acting on the thoguht?? It felt almost like it could have happened or an urge to and Im worried, am I a bad person? Then I imagined actually doing that in my head and it felt more real and I’m scared but at the same time not scared enough to feel safe why did I do that??

Anyone have a fear of high blood pressure and having a stroke/heart attack? My BP usually is great. But over the past week or so it’s been up. My “high” readings have been 141/91 and 132/94. I am currently taking clonidine. Once in the morning and once at night. Anybody else have these readings?

Hey guys I’ve been thinking about this all the time, so I told my parents about my condition with my intrusive thoughts and dreams, and they still care and love me, but my mom always says that you should get married if you worry so much, and that will help you, and that she can’t wait when I have children, but I just don’t think any of that will help me, plus I worry so much like if I do find the one I love than how can I tell her of the thoughts and dreams I’ve had, and how can she think I want children at all right now with these thoughts.

I just read a horror story about someone with POCD revealing their thoughts to people and getting shunned and now im getting anxious😭. I had wanted to tell a few of my loved ones about it in a very careful way, but now am not sure if it is a good idea (one works in mental health and another does have severe mental illness). I genuinely wonder if me doing this would be exposure or be compulsive or if it’s a bad idea overall

Does anyone else feel resentment or scared of the holy Spirit after having Intrusive thoughts about him. I'm scared and I'm not sure what to do about it. I've been praying but I feel so insincere about it and I am scared that there is something wrong with me. I can't read the word holy Spirit without feeling angry or nervous or scared of what my mind is gonna say to him. I just want it to stop, but I also feel like I'm addicted to the bad thoughts and I am scared of myself and what to do.

im worried that im falling out of love or if I haven't already, then I'm on track to. I don't know what to do

I don’t think I’ll ever be good enough..I’ll always have issues and ocd relapses. My bf needs someone better.

Hello y’all I was wondering when you go up on the dose of your antidepressant does it tend to make your anxiety worse at first. I had to go up a bit on my Prozac. I was doing pretty good but doc thought increase would be better. So here I am on day two on increase and my anxiety is way bad. I do have Klonopin to help but I don’t like to rely on it too much but I’m struggling. Help please!

Thought I would share this, as someone who has had extreme OCD of all subtypes know there’s support and the right tools necessary to get yourself back up. The “mastering your OCD” course by Nathan Peterson is by far the one thing I’d recommend to anyone experiencing OCD. Not only will you understand your disorder, you’ll learn how strong you are and how ERP can be used to help reduce symptoms even to a greater degree than medication. In conjunction, the possibilities are endless and please please please do not be like how I was and didn’t take the time to learn my disorder as this disorder will then begin to attach itself to everything you value. After over 2 years battling OCD, I have achieved a great reduction in my symptoms using the course suggested above. Remember, it is not your fault and anyone reading this can overcome what OCD is and how it impacts our daily lives. Unfortunately for me, online therapy wasn’t a success for me but that doesn’t mean it won’t be for you. However, I will say that the “mastering your OCD” course by Nathan Peterson can really help someone given they take the time and put the effort in to do the hard work that is required to manage OCD. With all this in mind, good luck to everyone and I hope my post encourages at least 1 person to never give up and try the course I suggested it’s a game changer😁

so i wanted to come on here and tell you all about a break through i’ve had. i’ve been in therapy for ocd for 8 months now and i can say and confirm and it has truly changed my life. im still growing and healing, i still get thoughts, i still get my obsessions. but i can resist and ignore compulsions now. as i heal ive noticed the thoughts more, gotten nervous they might mean something. it makes you feel crazy and like your whole journey was a lie and that these have been thoughts all along that are true. i’ve been in an 8 month long relationship since january and with my ocd it has not been easy. many times i felt like i should give up because even though i love my partner, i can’t be with anyone unless im completely healed. but something in me always made me stay. i come back now in august with those same thoughts and i worried that this might that it’s the end or that he truth has come. however something stuck out to me after i read up on the matter more and gained insight. something i learned and will now always instill is that love should be freedom, and feel freeing. freeing to be you, freeing to grow. i realized quickly that ive been free to grow and explore. but ive been holding myself back. not out just of fear but of not realizing that i am my own liferaft. i hadnt begun to step into my true unblocked energy, one that knows and trusts what i need and knows that the universe, god, whatever is above will always align me in places at the right time. this of course, is a balance and not one that needs to be taken immensely serious. in fact we should be taking life less seriously. i say all this to let you all know and instill that as we step into our confidence and trust and instill the outward energy inward. rather than worrying on if they’re right for you, or if you are in the right relationship, or if you feel disconnected or lacking of connection. connect back with yourself first, you be able to understand and see that the only thing holding you back from achieving your goals and dreams with career, self, relationships and more truly lies within you. it’s uncomfortable, it’s hard and it makes us scared to loose the situations that don’t serve us. but once you connect back with the energy and trust you have for yourself, you truly begin to realize you can let people in, everyone including partners are people YOU let in your life and are simply people with other lives that you need not connect to yours in the sense of making personal decisions or dictating your mood. people don’t speak enough on what it means to heal after ocd symptoms go down. you realize it’s about getting through the thoughts to get to the root and do that inward work. it’s still something im working towards. do something you love, go for a walk, read a book, it’s uncomfortable because we’re so used to be preoccupied that when we step back into ourselves we feel like we don’t know ourselves and it’s ocd that tries to take over once again. trust in yourself, your own decision and what you want, feed your mind, and understand we’re all doing this for the first time, but you can handle because you are your liferaft, your safety and you security and peace. i promise it’s life changing. reach out if you need someone to talk to you will get through it💌💗