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I am super scared that i might be trans please help i feel i relate to their stories 😭😭😭😭

so i’m getting ready for school and i’m dressed and i tied my shoes and usually i wash my hands right after because the floor is one of my biggest triggers like it’s so dirty to me so yea but i pulled my sweater down after before washing my hands and now i feel like my sweater is dirty. i can’t change because i have no other clothes ready to wear and it’s time for me to leave. idk what to do 💔

About some Psychologists that don't think hocd Is a real thing and it's internalized homophobia and that Psychologists Who says it's hocd they're just trying to use conversion therapy. I'm panicking right now.

When i see something, get reminded of something or talk to someone that triggers my train of thoughts, i feel a sudden racing spike in my heart, a knot in my stomach, kind of like that nervous butterfly feeling you get when you’re on a rollercoaster thats about to go downhill, or when you get jump-scared. My hands start to sweat and i just want to remove myself from the situation asap, wishing i felt the way i did about 2 minutes ago when i was doing just fine and wasn’t overthinking for once. The OCD goes wild in my head, instant overanalysis, sending me down into a spiral, making me want to dig a hole and hide in there until i somehow manage to persuade myself im not a bad person before I can go about with my day with ease again.

When I was 14, I experimented with a friend because he lied and said that it wasnt a homosexual act (when it clearly was) he tried to get me to do it several times and I eventually caved... after 30 seconds of it I went in the rest room and gagged and had a panic attack... my hocd is saying im in denial because of these events...

Even after ocd has calmed down. Scared that when my ocd goes away, I’ll still have “attraction” and groinals to girls. I don’t want to be lesbian. It’s like I don’t want my ocd to go away now? Anxiety and intrusive thoughts have gone down but my false attraction still feels real? And now it feels like I’ve always had this. And my real attraction is still missing? Has this happened to anyone ?

I think i always get some slight attachment for older women. I just always admired them, mostly authorities or i just simply admired them as a older women as a mothers or idk. When i was in high school i had this favorite teacher. She taught me for 7 years. I always felt that we might be somehow connected or that she will help me somehow in the future. When I was in my last year of high school she noticed me that i struggle with mental health, she was always there for me, she even hugged me and reassured me and ive always felt safe in her presence. I was always happy to see her and i think i might make some excuses to just see her and talk with her. So i think i got attached to her. The truth was, that we actually were somehow connected and she also brought be closer to God and she inspired me to become a teacher in the future. Everytime when we had to meet after school i was a bit nervous and sometimes i even wanted to look pretty because i knew that she will give me a compliment. I even said that I love her as my second mother. Sometimes i even thought of her as my mother. When she wasnt responding to my email or a message i strated to panic that i might did something wrong. When i started study my teaching major I even practiced with her at school and i didnt want to disappoint her so i tried to be perfect. Anyway, i have never had sexual or romantic scenerios with her. The only scenarios i had in my mind with her were those that I imagined her as my mother or how she huggs me and comforting me when something bad happens. I used to cry many times when i was thinking about her and I was thanking God that He send me a person like her. I’ve never had butterflies in my stomach around her. I’ve never been aroused in her presence. I’ve never had sexual fantasies with her. But i do get thoughts and doubts that “What if u flirted with her? What if u were secretly into her? What if u have crush on her? What if you love her romantically? What if she is your lesbian awakening?” It bothers me and makes me sad😔 She even kissed me once on my hairs, once on my cheek and I’ve never felt any butterflies or never felt in love and after that happened I wasnt even panicking because i knew it doesnt mean anything and that she only cares for me and nothing else. But im just scared that this is also one of my proofs that I’m a lesbian😔 People told me that this has nothing to do with my sexuality and this actually might mean that im just looking for a mother (i do have a good relationship with my mom so idk why this happens, but i sometimes feel like my mom she is more like a friend and not as a mother who understands my needs and feelings). Anyway, i somehow feel like this doesnt make sense and if i would be in love with this teacher then I would know it. I feel like its bullshit but i cant get over the fact that some lesbians actually had their lesbian awakening when they had a crush on a teacher even though i dont think what i experienced was a crush. 😔

Hi all! I have posted about this before and still not sure about what to do. I am struggling with the question of whether or not I should tell my partner (getting married this week) about the fact that I have OCD and my past experiences with it. And if so how? On the one hand, I think it would be good for them to know that I have this issue (to know me better, and basically strengthen our bond), but on the other hand, I am not sure about how they would react to hearing some of the past manifestations of OCD that I suffered with (mainly POCD and other sexual OCD - about 10 years ago now). My OCD today is mostly checking things around the house to make sure everything is safe - a more “plain” and “non-threatening” (to people without OCD) kind of OCD that wouldn’t be too challenging to discuss. I guess I want to share my experience but wondering if it makes sense to if I am going to leave out the more challenging (but also what has been for me the most impactful) stuff out. And of course keeping that stuff in the disclosure would carry risks as well. Looking online for expert opinions on this is a bit inconclusive. Expert opinions range from “don’t do it, it’s reassurance and these thoughts are meaningless and don’t define you”, through “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but it can be helpful”, to “you should probably do it, but maybe don’t share everything”. Any thoughts from anyone who has gone through this? Thanks!

I want to start off by saying that I am doing fine and I am doing my recovery for alcoholism and drug use. For those who understand AA and NA going through steps is very tough. The first step which is admitting that we are powerless over our addictions is super hard, and our lives became unmanageable when we used and drank. The fourth step is taking personal inventory and admitting our shortcomings to God and to someone else. Being very thorough with our shortcomings and admitting to God that we have flaws. My OCD is trigger because of the fact that I feel very scared to admit certain things that I’ve done in the past. And also admitting about my shortcomings with OCD. I feel like my OCD is meant for a therapist and my recovery with alcoholism is for my sponsor. Going through this four step is very difficult for me because I just don’t know what to do. I understand I can’t change my past and I have to admit through myself my shortcomings. And it’s tough to talk about it because I know my sub types, and everybody here can see my sub types. And I just don’t feel comfortable telling that to my sponsor, however, if I don’t be thorough with how I do my fourth step I feel like I’m being disingenuous to the program. I am very torn and how I have to do this. And I feel like it’s very difficult for me because it’s not easy to be vulnerable. It’s not easy to admit that I have shortcomings and they’re very dark. however if I don’t do this step, I will not fully recover from alcoholism and drug use. I just don’t want to share my OCD shortcomings. I just wanna share my flaws and personality. But I don’t know what to do. I feel very uncomfortable doing this at the moment however anybody that does this program would feel the same way. So maybe it’s a good reason to do this stuff. I don’t know.

Today I got ran into after not doing my compulsion to have safe driving that morning. Now my obsessions are telling me that it’s my fault and that it is just going to keep happening. I have harm ocd regarding driving and thinking I am going to kill someone. Ugh it’s so annoying that I’m triggered again just wanted to rant

This intrusive thought started last Saturday after telling my boyfriend about a nightmare I had. I started thinking "what if I'm in a dream" "what if I'm still dreaming". Since then I've begun questioning to myself if I exist, is anything real, is the conversation I'm having real...etc...i have next to no quality of life, I can't find any distraction...if I knew this thought wasn't in my head I'd feel normal..I just want to be normal again....has anyone ever felt like this? Please...I can't take this shit no more...

Does anyone else brain convince them that there gonna commit the act of there intrusive thought ? Like I’m scared that I’ll actually do it .. Litterally had the intrusive thought about doing something and my brain made me think that I was actually gonna do it

there’s so much happening. i’m so scared God is sending me signs. First, my mom said she felt so bad when she hit my old friends face with a charger one time and her name is faith, and then, I got on my instagram and the first person on there with a post is that same friend, faith. I was like, okay that’s weird. I kinda had a panic attack about it, then I came out to my living room, and the tv mentioned someone named faith, and then a song played that sung about a sign. I correlate everything back to being scared that God wants me to break up with my boyfriend. Idk i have really bad rocd, and i’m terrified God is sending me a sign to do that, how do I know He’s not when signs like this happen? Please help.

MAN am I tired. Things have recently gotten a little better in terms of energy since I've tweaked my medication, but I feel so avoidant to everything I know I'm supposed to be doing. I mean I did just up my dose of Luvox from 200mgs to 250mgs like a few days ago, and then I almost immediately got sick. Frustrating? yes very much so. Coincidence? I think not. My body is probably regulating itself and I think this might be a reflection of the copious amounts of stress I've been feeling for so long. There's so much guilt of feeling that my life has taken an abrupt pause. Every day I have to resist sleeping in until 11 and staying in my room all day. I'm still unable to socialize how I once was, or am able to under substances and that kills me. I also feel a lot of guilt because I don't help around the house as much as I'd like to and I STILL don't know how to cook, both due to trauma in a dysfunctional home growing up that's interlaced with my OCD, but I just want to be able to do it already! These are literal survival skills! I get frustrated because my OCD just makes me seem like someone I'm not, like a shitty person(another obsession). I want to be able to work, but I'm still so inconsistent even with the ERP homework that I'm assigned. Financial strain isn't getting any easier in this world, and I hate feeling like a burden to other people. I guess I just feel like an adult loser. I know, I have a disorder that's extremely debilitating and I have to face some of my greatest fears on a regular basis, but I'm getting so impatient with everything. I know I'm just starting to get out of a valley and climbing upwards in many areas, but it feels like everything is moving so fast around me and I can't catch up. Also, was anyone else fucked up about the fact that our compulsions are voluntary??? That fucked me up even though my therapist said it in a way that was supposed to be comforting. Salute to the homies with OCD, ADHD, depression, and PTSD<3

It’s been 2 years since I had my last child. Heartbreaking is an understatement. The disconnect from my belief and memories of my children are so painful. This is a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I look at my kids and they seem familiar but they seem hazy. It’s like a total loss of memories of good events in my life. It’s so horrible. I’m crying. I am doing the best I can. I am seeing a naturopath. I cannot believe this happens to people and I am so sorry if you struggle with this. It’s painful and it’s so hard to keep going when you feel numb yet so sad at the same time.

Is this OCD? I was having a huge compulsive thought of hurting my loved one and i was with him when I was having the thought. I wanted to try EPT and stay in the room with him during the thought but I began to have a huge panic attack and it felt like if I had stayed any longer I would have done it and my brain was telling me I wanted to do it and to just do it. I love him so much I didn’t want to do I left the room. Today I have a huge amount of guilt because I almost did it and my brain was telling me I wanted too. I told him about it and he says he’s sorry I’m going through but I feel I’m unworthy of being around him cause what if it happens again and I get the same feelings

QUITE a few years ago i had a dream of judgement day and i wont detail it. however it was scary. i keep having intrusive thoughts about it. how do i make it stop

What's the difference between the two? I'm struggling to find an answer online because I don't understand

i need to hear encouraging words. they likely will only make me feel good for an hour or so, since it’s not coming from loved ones like i need, but i just want someone to believe in me, for someone to know i struggle with severe ocd and have since i was 7/8. i want someone to know this about me and still encourage me to get better and have hope that i will become the best person i can be. i have no one. i’m depressed. i can’t keep living this alone. please

I'm scared that I don't have SO-OCD, I need to give an example first, let's take, straight female, fears being a lesbian, she, of course get's false atraction, very distressing and not enjoyable at all, she of course it's scare she's atracted to women now, but what she is scared about the most, really, is not being atracted to men. So that's OCD, but here is me. I'm more scare of being atracted to men, that of not being atracted to women, honestly I don't even care, I don't care if I never feel anything for a woman again, I just don't wanna fall for a dude. Also my false atraction feels good, not even anxious, not sure what to make of that