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Are there any demisexuals on here that struggle with SO-OCD (I'm a straight woman, or so I think I am). It's a struggle to know what's OCD and what isn't

Does anyone else get the theme of fear of going crazy or into a psychosis ? I’ve been having that fear lately and it has been the worse ever. I’ve never had these thoughts before and I don’t know what triggered them that they won’t go way. I couldn’t eat for days from how scared I was of these thoughts. I keep having intrusive thoughts like what if you’re imagining it for example I was at TJ Maxx with my mom and I was looking for her and when I saw her a thought popped into my head like “what if that’s not her and your imagining it” it was so scary that I wanted to cry. Of course apart of me knows that’s not true but the thoughts keep popping up. I’m so scared and just want to be myself again. So if anyone has gone through this theme can you please tell me what helped you. I’ve also struggled with harm ocd, suicidal ocd and a lot of health anxiety. I can’t afford therapy so if yall have any recommendations on what helped your ocd please let me know. I’m so tired and feel so helpless. I want my life back.

its been over a month and im losing hope of these thoughts ever going away. im so sick of this. every waking second im just over here thinking im a serial killer. i’ve convinced myself the only thing that would make my thoughts go away is if i act on them or end my own life. i cant keep doing this..

Just a quick question for anyone on here today. Does anyone else's OCD get more prominent when they're mad?? Not necessarily "mad" but just frustrated. For example, I'll be having an argument with my girl and the intrusive thoughts just seem to arise way more frequent and severe i guess is a word i can use for it. They just pester me a lot more when I'm frustrated rather than just sitting around playing a video game or something. Appreciate y'all wit the feedback. Have a good one.

Hi all!! It's been a while since I've been on here and I just want to say everybody can do this. When I was diagnosed with ocd and specifically so-ocd I thought oh lord I'm lying to myself and my sexuality. No! I've always been straight and will be!! Anyway, what I have learned is to let thought be a thought (that is harder than it seems). But if you try to not force the thought and let it leave when you want and show the thoughts that you are unbothered things will become easier. But today I have the realization that I no longer have the urge to figure it out because I do know who I am and that these thoughts are not of me. I no longer feel like I am lying to myself and I feel more and more like my old self. Anyway, if you have read all the way here just know you got this I'm proud and I feel myself beating ocd every day. You will have your down days and that's ok just get back up and keep moving forward. Love you all❤️

I have a boyfriend I’ve been with for 11 months today. He’s great, caring, kind, funny, etc. But he’s very aggressive when he’s mad or jealous and he is the rudest person I’ve ever met when we fight. He has squeezed me, grabbed me, pulled me, and today he hit me on the head with a water bottle, not hard, but not very gently either. I’m assuming he thought it was funny. We are 16, our families are close, so I wouldn’t consider this too serious because we’re young. But he never listens to me when I tell him, “that hurt!” He laughs and will most often say, “i barely tapped you.” He is about twice the size of me, and I’m starting to completely resent him, and honestly, I’ve told him that. For the most part we are very healthy, we have lots of trust and communication, we work things out beautifully too but he’s just too damn aggressive and won’t listen to me all the amounts of times i cry. he’ll call me names. I’m admittedly not the best girlfriend, i have a lot of baggage and trauma from my past that causes me to have an avoidant attachment style and have a rage problem. I understand the mean words he uses, but he should never ever be aggressive to me. I just need another side to this. I need someone to comment what they think so I can show him, because he just thinks he’s done nothing wrong and that I’m just dramatic. I know a lot of people on here are adults, so I’m asking for help.

does anyone knownif there is any truth behind the statement that strep throat can cause an onset of mental health issues such as ocd?? I used to have strep throat a lot as a child and early teen, but now I don't get sick very often. I've seen some tik toks talking about how people can develop ocd after experiencing certain infections, commonly strep throat. has anyone else heard of this or know why it happens?

I don’t really wanna go into detail about what it’s about cause I feel like it’s super embarrassing, but there’s this one specific type of intrusive thought I get that I struggle extremely with ignoring/sitting in discomfort with. Does anyone have tips for managing something like this?

i’ve been dealing with SOOCD for a while now. in the beginning i remember getting random thoughts about secretly being gay because whenever i see a woman portrayed in a sexual manner (like butt naked and/or doing something super sexual) i would get aroused. i used to brush it off because i just knew i didn’t want to be with a woman and i was and always have been only interested in men. I would only get aroused seeing those things in media and ofc porn but never in real life. I would even sit and stare at the content trying to see why i was aroused because it would only give me a groinal feeling and not the same attraction i felt when i saw sexual content about men (i had a HEALTHY libido growing up and all i thought about was men). i would watch music videos and not think anything of it but when something sexual came up or if a woman was nude or doing something sexual i would get aroused and as my anxiety got worse the intrusive thoughts started to pop up and stick around for longer. i tried to understand why it was happening and i realized i was exposed to sexual content at a pretty young age (thank you google) and i knew what sex was and how a woman “should look” during sex and anything that was even a little bit sexual made me aroused . Like me looking at myself naked would arouse me because i felt like “oh this is sexual” ykwim? and if i saw like lacy underwear i would be like “oh this is for sex.” in middle school the world history textbooks had pictures of statues with women without shirts and i automatically got aroused and i was concerned and confused but i realized oh i immediately think this means sex? like a woman only looks like that to have sex? i think my exposure to sexual content at a young age warped my idea of sex and what being sexual is? idk if what i’m saying is making sense. anyways in high school i noticed i started getting urges to watch any sexual content or anything involving sexual content whether it involved girls or guys and that triggered my intrusive thoughts even more. i still had and have no desire to be with a girl. I would rather never marry and be single all my life than even think of experimenting with a girl. basically i’m writing this all bc i was triggered by a cardi b post where she started twerking in a thong out of nowhere (i should’ve expected it) and i got the most massive groinal response and i got extremely anxious and i started thinking “you’ve always been aroused by sexual content like this your gay” “your lying to yourself” “this isn’t just ocd stop lying” “there was too much exploration in your childhood to mean ur straight” “you don’t even have a libido or attraction to men anymore but you get aroused to this?? ur gay”. and so i’m here ranting and not making sense. i miss being boy crazy so fucking much i hate living like this i used to be so BOY CRAZY that these things and experiences and thoughts never affected me but now that it’s all gone and it’s been so long since i’ve felt any of it the intrusive thoughts hit me harder. ok i’m done sorry this is all over the place.

I have suicidal ocd and fear of depression. Lately I have really been trying to accept these thoughts and they are terrifying. Is this what OCD recovery feels like. Does the panic and fear and feeling like out of control go up when you’re trying to accept something so hard.? Anyone else like this? Do you feel out of control when acknowledging your feelings. Like the past two days I have really been thinking on my feelings and talking them in my brain but my panic is so out of control and my stomach hurts and I feel shaky and scared of my self. Anyone else!?!!

Having ocd can either make life difficult or painful or both depending on the theme(s). For me it’s painful. My ocd latches onto my children. I have very upsetting harm and pocd intrusive thoughts. Sometimes it’s easy to shrug them off but other times the ocd makes it seem likes it’s me thinking these things and it feels so real and it has me so depressed. I never used to see any parents posting about this but recently there have been a few. I know it’s really hard to talk about but sharing can help us all feel less alone and more supported. I’m grateful to anyone that offers support because I feel so defeated lately. 😞

Hi all, recently became stuck on the idea of my wife and I splitting up, and the impact on our dynamic and our child. We have a very healthy relationship, and have been together over a decade. I love her completely and am typically a golden retriever type partner. She's everything to me and then some, which is why these thoughts are so distressing. I've never done therapy, and recently tried antidepressants which spiked my anxiety through the roof so I stopped. I've been dealing with with this for about 3 months. In my constant googling I came across Pure O and ROCD, and based on all I've read seems to align with my experience. This may be reassurance seeking, but would love to celebrate success stories of others who have been able to overcome the intrusive thoughts and find peace. This feels like such a lonely subtype because I can't fully share with and lean on my best friend who I'm used to telling everything to. I'm also not used to needing support. I'm usually the supporter.

I'm truly doing my best to let these thoughts exist and to not engage with them, but it's so hard because the lingering feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety are still there. does anyone have any tips on how to combat this? any encouraging advice?

my parents don’t understand that a seemingly small and snide comment about my body will ruminate in my brain for months and months and be a never ending source of why i hate myself more and more everyday. I don’t know how to get them to understand as they are not in my shoes. I am overweight, not morbidly obese but I struggle to find the will to work out and improve myself, but i know this isn’t the motivation i need.

I’m really just over it today. It’s my first bad day in a long time. Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. How do you get through the bad days?

What has worked for you guys?

*PLEASE READ* I’ve been struggling with bad harm intrusive thoughts for a couple years now. They’ll go away for a couple of months then get triggered by something and start all over again. As much as I try to tell myself that I would never act on these thoughts I have a memory from when I was little that I was going to hurt my parents in their sleep and that memory has haunted me till now. Of course I didn’t hurt them but I thought it and I feel so guilty about it today that it makes me sick to my stomach. I love my parents so much and would never want to hurt them or anybody. I just want these thoughts to go away because they don’t line up with my values of who I am. But every time I tell myself that my thoughts are not facts that memory pops up making me feel like an awful person. I feel right now as if I don’t deserve any love from anyone because of these thoughts. I’m a believer of God and I feel as if I don’t deserve his love as well and that he has given up on me. These thoughts have also turned into a new theme of being scared I’m actually crazy and going into a psychosis. I’m just so scared and just want to be normal. As much as I tell myself ocd lies to you these thoughts have really scared me and I haven’t felt like myself in days. I’ve also struggled with health anxiety and intrusive suicidal thoughts. I know seeking reassurance isn’t good but I’m so scared.

Is it ocd or is it denial I don't get what ifs and I wasn't diagnosed with ocd I went to the pych twice and part me just doesn't want to be tru that I'm might be a p and using ocd just for me not to believe it. Im going to go again and if they say I am a p I'm going to end it because that's a scary thought and I'm also worried about my relationship with my boyfriend he is 6 years younger then me and I'm 27 and he's 21 I met him when he was 19 turning 20 and I was 25 turning 26. I'm tired and I don't want sympathy I just needed to type this out it's been getting on my nerves a lot and I think everyday of breaking up with him fear of judgement. He does act very immature I don't know what do with my life myself and the people around me and making friends is not my cup of tea everytime im around new people I feel like I'm hiding a big secret and I don't want to get close to anyone and just makes me feel bitter because people just be normal and not have these intrusive thoughts pop up and lm like why me why why me. And I just push everyone away I can't stand myself either I'm fat and eating is what really what makes me happy no one knows what I go through and I can't talk about it I'm afraid of getting shunned or that I won't get better and actually seek help that I know I need I've feel like I have no control over my life I'm 27 no job I don't have my own place my sisters are doing better then me I probably sound selfish I want to get better and it if is just ocd it would be a sigh of relief and I can work through my issues. I have more I want to say but this part of my truth

I watched a utube video by an ocd expert and he said that on 9-11 he had patients come in and talk to him about their themes and they seemed barely concerned about what was happening. I have noticed this in myself and feel so bad and selfish when I am sooo focused on my own fears that I am not really connecting to loved ones and their needs like I used to. I know it's not how I used to be and I hate it

How do you go about your life when ERP therapy is so stressful. I have harm ocd and by making me watch horror movies etc . is just making it worse. I'm really worried I'm being brainwashed into being what I dont want to be . Does this mean ERP is not for me? I also have no compulsions just pure O .