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working to conquer OCD
I’m so tired of this anxiety right now, all my dad did was get mad at me today and for some reason my anxiety is through the roof, I honestly want to cry, I just want this to stop. It’s always constant anxiety and it never ends nor stops, it’s almost irritating, I just want it to leave me alone
I have this fear of being a psychopath or sociopath. All my life i was able to feel normal emotions like joy, sadness, guilt etc up until now where i suddenly gained this new fear of being a psychopath because i felt emotionally detached from my partner lately and i now feel like i emotionally shut down and like im on autopilot mode. Its like i cant feel anything right now, and to test myself i think of situations in my head that are bad (like someone getting hit by a car) to see if i feel any empathy and it scares me that i sometimes dont. I keep doing this over and over and i cant feel anything, im so scared of being evil or something. It triggers me when i see negative things on social media because im scared i don’t feel anything or not care about it at all. I never thought id be saying this but i WANT to feel sad or upset just so i know im not crazy.
Sometimes when I ruminate or try to disprove my themes (I know I shouldn’t do it but sometimes it’s to overwhelming and I can’t help it I’ve been getting better with it though) it feels like I’m arguing with another person, like there’s another person living in my head and they try to disprove everything I do, it’s usually a different voice from my own but when it’s really fucking with me it’s my own voice and it’s irritating, it just feels like another person lives in my head like there a bad influence and tell me to do all this shit and it’s horrible, I know it’s ocd but it just feels like another person in my head who’s constantly against me and everything I believe and when I argue I get literally no where it pulls shit out of its ass and says the most absurd shit and it makes me feel horrible, just wanted to know if anyone else’s ocd feels like it comes in the form of another person that’s living in your head?
Does anyone else have the strong urge to do some sort of drugs sometimes when there ocd gets really bad or over nothing in general, like I’ll just be sitting doing nothing and my brain goes “you need to do cocaine right now or else” and I get a urge and it’s so like odd to me??? I’ve never done drugs in my life and never plan to because my father was a addict and I’ve seen what they’ve done to people so it scares me when I get these thoughts and then I get the urge to reach out to someone who can give me drugs and I play this whole scenario in my mind where I contact someone and I meet up with them and pay them for the drugs and then I take them and die and it’s like??? Idk I’ve had weird intrusive thoughts involving drugs before but this is like different if that makes sense, I also can’t stop focusing on how my body feels when this happens like it’ll feel like I was a previous addict and that I’m going through withdrawal and need something or else and it’s just so weird to me. Anyone else go through this?
I’m scared so bad rn I feel like I might commit . There was a trans girl on TikTok and I thought she was attractive and I’m scared because she’s trans. Is that gay I don’t wanna be gay and now I’m freaking out. It was a guy transitioned into a girl and they don’t look like a guy at all.
I feel like i am fighting against God all the time and that He is against me. It’s painful because i love Jesus and want to serve Him. Can anyone relate? I don’t want to fight against God, i want His will to be done. I want to walk in the freedom that God has given us in Christ. I know there is nothing wrong with skateboarding or taking care of my body. These are the themes i tend to struggle with. I guess this is just scrupulosity but i still feel like i am rebelling against God and He doesn’t want me to enjoy these things. Life is more than this. It’s about serving God and others. Just struggling and want to overcome. To have a good relationship with God instead of feeling like this all the time.
I think I did something I shouldnt have... I reasearched comphet on tiktok and saw a video of a girl explaining how she realised that first she wasnt bi and then she was a lesbian. She was talking all about how when she was with men she was craving "male validation" and wasnt actually attracted to men and that she confused platonnic and romantic love. and that whe she really thought about she realised that she loved being loved and desired by men but that she didnt specifically like men or wasnt attracted to men. She just found them attractive and was not attracted. And that when she broke up with her bf and stop dating man she realised how much more she could feel and how thinking about men gave her the ic. And I real all the comments and everyone was like omg omg omg. Anyways im sooo triggered because I feel like I could relate on some level. Im not sure if I like my bf for who he is or that i love how he loves me. And at first I used to calm my OCD by saying noo noo I love how he loves me but if I imagine breaking up with him it feels like it will be my last time with a men... what is happenning!!!
The thought of being with a woman used to make me uneasy and sad/depressed. But now I feel nothing when I think about them. Which now makes me feel anxious because I feel like it’s a sign that I want it. I feel like I’m in a never ending loop. Also my attraction to boys is gone and idk how to get it back :( I feel so lost Help and advice would be nice
I keep feeling like I would find these things attractive and I keep catching myself thinking about it and agreeing with it and being like “yeah I would, oooh” and I’m like what the hell just happened??? Why does that happen?? I was so sure I wouldn’t do that but now I’m afraid All I know is I never be aware that they’re a kid till it’s too late, but at the same time I feel like I am aware that it is
WHY is it so hard to explain ocd to someone without it? it’s like they see it as a joke/exaggeration and it’s just exhausting. people act like ocd is just organization or cleaning or whatever. while ocd can affect that it’s SO much more than that. idk
Hello, I wanted to reach out and see if anyone else is dealing with OCD pertaining to health? Every day I'm having a new diagnosis for myself and constantly monitoring different sensations in my body. I feel a compulsion to also constantly check my body for lumps, bumps, etc. The saddest part of all is that it's also something I encounter with my kids. I'm constantly in a state of flight or fight waiting for something to happen
TW:Self-Harm I really felt like I was doing better. I messed up tonight. The ROCD thoughts became so overwhelming. I couldn’t stand it , I was breaking down. I was having thoughts of SH myself just to make the thoughts stop. I gave in and the thoughts did stop. But I feel so empty. I feel like I failed. I relapsed after years of being clean from SH. I don’t want my girlfriend to know and I feel so much shame. I don’t even know why I’m posting this here.
I love and believe in Jesus. I always have believed in Jesus. I don’t know why my thoughts are saying that I don’t believe anymore. I think it might be because I feel like I’m so close to a breakthrough from OCD and spiritual warfare, but I have no idea. I feel like God is going to deliver me soon, so the devil has been attacking me more. I don’t know, but I seriously am so scared. If you’re a Christian, please give me advice.
TRIGGER WARNING My friend basically said to me that someone who’s drunk could easily do something out of character and harm someone else?! That majorly triggered me as my ocd false memory involves me being drunk, so now I feel like it’s really possible. I’m not an angry drunk by any means but still. Ugh why do people have to say things to me. I feel so ashamed for getting drunk.
recently my intrusive thoughts haven’t been bothering me much, unless i’m busy doing nothing. i suffer from SO-OCD. whenever i think yes, these thoughts don’t bother me anymore, i’m doing great, i then work myself up like ‘well your thoughts are obviously true then otherwise they would make you upset and uncomfortable’. when i get the thoughts they do still make me feel this way but also not as strong. I do then panic and think i’m something i’m not, despite knowing the truth. also anyone know why they get worse when i’m bored or not doing anything? 😢
I'm 32 and was diagnosed a few weeks ago. It's been really hard to accept how much of my life has been affected negatively by OCD and the paranoia and anxiety that comes from it. Just sad about it.
Hi, I'm Ali. Nice to meet you. I just randomly today started searching about OCD because I related to so many of these experiences on this app (which I don't want to mention) and I wonder if I really have an OCD. For example, yesterday my brother gave me his iPad since he hasn't used it in a while and there's a scratch on it, and I'm really scared if I did or he did it because wouldn't that show I'm careless with it, and he's had it for so long, so I don't know if he scratched it or I have, and the buttons are so clicky, and I don't know if they are meant to be like that. I really want to tell my dad, but I don't know if I'm just seeking attention because I've already told him about other experiences in the past and he has sorted them (I love my dad). But if I ask him that I have an OCD, I don't think he would believe me. Please guys, I need your advice. Thank you for reading this much. Have a good day.
I usually always watch my drink or leave it around a close friend, but about a week ago, I had to do something urgent & took my eyes off of my drink for a long time. Somebody who I’m not sure if they like me was around it & then as soon as I finished what I was doing they left off & when they came back they were looking in my direction. I started to toss it altogether, but I took a sip & thought it didn’t taste the same but it could just be OCD. It’s been a week but I still feel uneasy worried my drink was tampered with or that there was some type of undetected poison. Even when I’m doing good, I wonder back to it & it makes me anxious. How do I move past it?
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