- Date posted
- 41w
I make progress, and then OCD comes at me a different way. It makes me sick to my stomach. It’s giving me new feelings and I can’t tell if it’s my OCD or me and I’m really scared.
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I make progress, and then OCD comes at me a different way. It makes me sick to my stomach. It’s giving me new feelings and I can’t tell if it’s my OCD or me and I’m really scared.
I would really appreciate someone’s outlook on this. I have crippling ROCD and I have had an obsession over a certain thought that just won’t leave me alone- weird thoughts about an attractive co worker. and then they get in a relationship with someone and I was relieved at first because I was like great I won’t have weird thoughts now but now I’m having intrusive thoughts that I’m jealous of her and that should have been me etc etc and it makes me so sick because I am in the best relationship I have ever been in and I know I will have to confess these thoughts to him later but I’m just like why am I like this I have these thoughts that are saying I want the attention or something from this guy which I do not
I’m having an intense urge to do compulsion?? It’s so annoying like at this point intrusive thoughts are 10% of the day but thoughts about doing compulsion are like 90% of the day does it make sense? Like my brain process is that I can’t live with the urge to do compulsion for the rest of my life cause it’s annoying and scary me that it’s here all day, so it’s try to convince me to do a compulsion to get rid of the thought. And it’s makes me mad that it’s all the time. Like the compulsion is so easy and takes like 1 seconds so I have to be focused all the time cause if I’m not focuse every second of the day I might lose control and do a compulsion I don’t want to. So I do other compulsion’s instead (this compulsion is shameful one) . But the thought to do this compulsion was 2 weeks every second of the day I feel like someone torture me . My therapist told me that I’m basically afraid to do compulsion so I’m doing other compulsions instead I don’t want to do this compulsion cause it will make me feel bad and I’m already feeling bad so I can’t feel more bad. My mind trying to bully me to do this compulsion cause I’m afraid the thought to do this compulsion will always be there. I feel like I can’t live with that thought. Someone has advice?
I know I keep posting a lot I’m sorry. Idk what happened if I woke up during the night or what, but somehow I accidentally voluntarily had sexual images of a kid but then I realized it and freaked out and tried to just go to sleep. Then I just woke up from a dream where I was seeing someone’s little baby girl and had an intrusive image or her privates, I woke up immediately but I feel bad and grossed out that I had that image was in my head, but I feel bad like I am not feeling as guilty and bad as I should feel. It’s not normal to think things like that. I like babies and all kids. They are sweet and so so innocent and precious. I always have liked babies. I wouldn’t dream of thinking about their privates. I feel bad and disgusted obviously but I don’t know what to do. I think maybe I was half asleep and not aware what I was thinking, and then became aware that I was having images or something, cause I would never voluntarily be like ok let me imagine a child without clothes, that’s disgusting. But I feel bad. But like I was telling myself, I literally wasn’t even 100% aware of what happened, so I probably wasn’t 100% awake or aware of what I was having in my brain. But then when I woke up from the dream I accidentally created some images or triggered them because I was ruminating even though I was and am disgusted by them and would never ever be ok with these images. I feel terrible.
So one night my bfs mom got super drunk and as we walked in the door late at night she started to tell me that he hurt her feelings, I curiously asked “oh well what did he do?”. She then said “he know what he did he knows” I again asked, “what did he do?”. She then told me “because we were at Dave and busters and he told me I wasn’t his favorite anymore”. I played along thinking it was a joke “oh baby you don’t need to say that stuff to your mom, that’s not nice at all” he then said confused “wait that’s not even what I meant, I said my favorite person wasn’t here”. (Because in this particular setting I was not present). She then starts crying and hugging and holding him tight and saying “we’re not gonna have the same relationship we once had, your not my special boy anymore, I’m ok to give you to her, I know we will never have the same relationship” so for 30 minutes all I heard straight was basically those phrases in various ways. Rearranged and all, and then at the end of it I felt like I wasn’t giving her the validation she needed so she said to top it off “and whatever girl you end up marrying will be so thankful your a wonderful man”. All because of one look. It was very intense for me considering when someone accuses you of taking something from them and it happens to be a person nonetheless that really triggered me. Partly because I just didn’t understand what was going on but you have to put yourself in my position, I’m already afraid of not fitting in. This family’s a lot different than mine, but ontop of that I have the worry that if we do good in this relationship she looses or if we don’t do good I loose. It was just an extreme amount of pressure. And when explaining how I felt it did not get recognized the way it needed to be. This mom also surrounds herself in his life and speed dials all his friends and plays mommy of the year constantly. But he’s 23 still at home, and at this moment having a talk with his parents about us. We’ve been fighting a lot recently after I cheated on him. Yes I cheated on him 3 weeks ago, I’ve been insanely insecure and taking everything out on him. It’s not right I just felt as though I didn’t deserve him after that. So I created more chaos. More and more, till he finally told his parents we were fighting, even showed them the messages we exchanged. Weird right?, yea he’s a weirdo with his parents, part of the reason I tried cheating to escape. But ahaha we all know that after you cheat you don’t want anything but the person you cheated on, you fight day in and day out for that validation that was taken and it’s just miserable. I’ve been kinda of making myself miserable lately and I don’t have friends to talk to. Anyway after that I was called a player, he hasn’t been able to hang out with me, he’s been cut off from family money, he’s crumbling. He’s talking to his parents right now and I’m just kinda here waiting for a response. I don’t expect it to go well, and after this we might be done. I wanted to say my peace and maybe help someone or get some advice on it. And he had to leave my house just last night around 2 o clock to give back the car so the police wouldn’t get called. He’s 23 I’m 19 almost 20.
Existential crisis pls help guys🫶 I’m finding that everything is pointless What’s the point of reaching my goals? Is God even real? Please help guys!!!!!
I can’t. I’m so scared. I don’t want to deny the HOLY SPIRIT. I keep having intrusives that make me question my real intentions.
Not like ocd compulsions but more you buy something you should not have or do some not bad but you should not have done. Examples like eating a lot of food at one time, start a random project when you need to do something else , do not do things you need to get done. Say yes thing you don’t have time to do. Can anyone else relate?
What can I do so I would not be thinking my partner's past sexual experiences while we are having a moment? That is really frustrating and makes me sad and disgusted that my partner has done this before with other people and felt nice. I also have sexual past before him so I feel like hypocrite. I don't wanna be thinking these things because they dont matter and I know the present only matters and our deep love. It just ruins my mood too many times a day almost. It helps to know that others are experiencing this too so I'm not alone and these are just thoughts.
my hands and arms are breaking out into an itchy and bumpy rash from how much rubbing alcohol and sanitizer i put on my skin. it hurts and it burns. i dont know how to stop doing this. i physically cant make myself stop. washing my hands is inconvenient to do as often and sanitizer, but even if i did hand wash, id still use sanitizer anyway for other reasons. how do i stop doing this?
My OCD is really latching onto my husband this week. I’m so in love with him and can’t wait to grow old with him and see him grow and change throughout the years, but my SOOCD has latched onto him saying that I don’t want that. I feel sick about it. It makes me so sad. He’s everything to me, and makes me feel so loved. When I am having a bad day, knowing that we’ll be together at the end of it on the couch, drinking tea, and snuggling is what makes me feel better. Knowing that he’ll be next to me in bed that night makes me feel better. But my OCD says so many nasty things. Just trying not to follow the OCD noise and hold onto what I value most.
I have contamination OCD that causes me to excessively wash my hands/clean items with disinfectant wipes. I know I just need to start with small exposures but how do I do that without spiraling? I tried a while back by just touching the outside of my dishwasher and not washing my hands after and it led to me being unable to even exist in my house. I basically lived on my couch for three weeks as it was the only 'safe' space that I had not touched with my dirty hands. I had to take a week off work to clean my house to make it somewhat liveable. I still haven't got round to cleaning everything though so things like my kitchen are still no-go zones that I don't enter. I just don't know how to start ERP without it making everything worse. Any advice would be appreciated. I am not seeing a therapist at the moment due to financial constraints.
Yall these panic attacks are getting FOUL. please give some good advice. The ocd brain in me be telling me I’m dying and bout to head to the Gates of Heaven. Helpppp
Hey guys, I’m really struggling with real event ocd with something I did 3 years ago, to do with relationships. I cannot shake this guilt feeling and urge to fess up and tell my partner everything. My therapist has told me not too as apparently it’s reinforcing the cycle. But I feel unworthy and like I’m keeping this huge secret (which I never was worried about before until recently). Over the past few weeks confessing has made me feel relief but then I find something else really bad in my past to dwell over. Anyone got any advice how to move past this or get over it? If so I’d really appreciate it, thank you!
18+ pls reply yesterday i was trying to fantasise about my girlfriend and i enjoyed it mentally but physically down there i didn’t feel anything? but when i get intrusive thoughts i do? and i’m confused because then it’s like am i not attracted to her? i get thoughts saying im not turned on during thoughts of my gf and its stressing me out is this ocd or is it not????
I should have never googled schizophrenia because now I'm constantly having intrusive thoughts about delusions and I'm in a 24/7 panic attack. I'm using erp tools but the thoughts affect me so much my stomach and chest keep tightening. Why can't I have good thoughts I'm so exhausted
So I’ve been obsessed lately with the doubt I might be developing schizophrenia. For days now I’ve been seeing things out of the corner of my eye and moving things and it’s almost constant now that I see something. I feel like I’ve been hearing things lately too, like the sound of my cat meowing when she’s laying down asleep and I just heard crickets chirping when there were no windows open or anything like that and there’s no way I could’ve heard that. Or I’ll hear a real faint thud like someone’s walking around occasionally. There’s no history in my family of schizophrenia that I know of and I don’t think anyone in my family currently has it. I feel like I’m losing it and I might actually somehow be developing it. Someone tell me please, is this the start of schizophrenia or is it just my OCD playing tricks on me? It feels so real, I don’t know if OCD can cause all of this. I don’t know what to believe.
Hello everyone, I’ve just gotten broken up with by my boyfriend 2 days ago after 6 months. For some background, he was extremely busy with very personal issues on top of getting his PhD. He simply couldn’t give the relationship the time/effort he wanted. On top of that, I had realized that there were a lot of obsessions involved with this relationship on my end, so I put a lot of emotional energy into it. That being said, the actual breakup was very sudden to me because he did not indicate to me (verbally) that this had been on his mind for weeks before this. We had ceven bought each other Christmas gifts just days earlier at a local market. Now, my obsessions would relate many things to him or our relationship (songs, movies, etc), which I was aware of and in the process of working on not doing this to be more independent. I never shared this with him and did a lot to not let it affect our relationship. Now, after the breakup, I am consistently being triggered because I never truly got to surpass these obsessions, and also because we interact almost daily at work (I know what you’re thinking, bad move). I know a lot of these thoughts and feelings will pass with time since it’s only been a few days, but I was wondering if anyone has had a scenario like this for specific advice or just anyone’s advice in general? I’m working on writing my masters thesis and I want to do my absolute best work, but this scenario is making it extremely difficult to focus while at work. Thank you.
my therapist suggested that some of my less bad rocd intrusive thoughts are actually mine, and not intrusive. She ended up taking it back when she saw the alarm on my face and saw how panicked I got. I feel really freaking anxious. We were only talking about it because I mentioned a lot of doubt surrounding those less bad ones, but it only filled me with more doubt. I don’t want those thoughts to be mine. I really don’t. I feel scared and so discouraged after this session. I feel scared about the worst thoughts, what if those aren’t intrusive. I feel so much doubt.
He won't use condoms due to ED, so I started taking birth control for him. He also refused to give oral until i let him inside me which was weird to me. Anyways, I went to his home at the weekend and it was very messy, tiny room, unclean. It annoyed me that he felt comfortable inviting me, knowing how tidy and spotless my house is, and it took me a few hours to get there on public transport. (I understand that rent is pricey and he travels a lot, but a toilet seat missing). He drives 5 hours to see me on some weekends but my place is always to a standard. Next thing, he always wants to be on top of me but it hurts me and he won't keep trying different positions, and says things like "I give up" then walks off to a different room and won't speak because I won't do it how he wants. I didn't wanna be in his house not speaking so I stayed with family last night. Am I out of order for leaving? first we had the protection issue, now the position issue plus his attitude. Makes me feel like im in the wrong for not letting him have what he wants after 5 months of talking and meeting. I thought once I started taking BC this would solve our problem but now it just feels like pressure, and he also says "you know what I'm doing" like I have some sort of game plan, when I would literally be happy kissing and touching because I love him. I can't figure out why he's so desperate for it, wouldn't he want to make me feel comfortable? This was the first time with him in his city, and he didn't wanna go out anywhere, not even to dinner. I don't ask for much
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