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So someone said someone that was pretty triggering to my OCD but I'm just trying to sit with it. I know that it isn't true but it still bothers me that someone didn't believe what I was going through and thought it was bad for it.

Hey guys! I am a recovered person from Harm OCD, but still dealing with tons of anxiety. I am really finding ways to feel understood, since around me I haven’t found anyone dealing with the stuff I do… From time to time, I get so much anxiety while I eat… Which makes it so hard for me to eat, because I get heavy symptoms such as a sense of a tight throat. It is sooo uncomfortable and it’s really making it so hard for me to eat, I am so worried :( I try to tell myself is just anxiety but that sensation just won’t go away ;( Help!!

i feel too far gone and like a lost cause like i have left my ocd untreated for too long that it’s peaked or at least i hope it can’t get worse sometimes selfishly i actually think i have the worst ocd anyone’s ever had in the history of ever and that no one is in a greater pain than me its every single second of every single day and even when im asleep its there for the last 2 years i have had a traumatic ocd dream every single night there’s absolutely no escape and i stopped feeling real such a long time ago in retrospect i realised my ocd started when i was 11 and im now 19 and it escalated so fast at a constant incline i dont get respite from my ocd its only ever gotten severely worse it started that i couldn’t see family for one theme and then men for another theme and then children for another theme and then women for another theme which eliminates absolutely everyone in the world i used to be able to make exceptions for my boyfriend and certain friends but now i cant im so scared and isolated i cant watch shows or films because of triggers i cant listen to certain songs for fear of manifesting the lyrics and i cant even sit in peace and let me ocd thoughts be and feel the discomfort as a form of recovery because im convinced dead people that i know can hear my thoughts and they don’t understand ocd because other than cleaning and liking order they would never have heard of it so im constantly having intrusive thoughts and explaining them away to the “people listening” i’ve never felt more suicidal in my entire life and i’ve attempted suicide about 5 or 6 times and even then i didn’t feel half of what im feeling now but i was younger than and didn’t have empathy for the hurt id be leaving behind and now knowing how selfish it is i can’t do it but its all i ever think about and the only thing that helps me feel better during a flare up is imagining hurting myself in the worst possible ways and dying and that’s what gets me out of the house is the hope that someone might stab me or run me over with a bus or truck or that i might get beaten to death by someone in an episode and when im not thinking that over my intrusive ocd thoughts im praying and hoping that i get a brain tumour that gives me 6weeks to live or that the stress and pain of my ocd will induce a heart attack or a stroke and i die that way so that im not the one causing the hurt after i die

My last and almost life long theme/sub-theme largely subsided recently and my ocd felt like it wasn’t even an issue. Then I went on winter break from uni and being alone made my mind come up with a whole new topic to obsess over. TLDR on my fears, my advisor wouldn’t email me back for a while about signing up for classes so my mind started to worry “what if he doesn’t in time and you can’t enroll this semester and you lose this whole life you just built and all these new friends” So when that issue was resolved my mind found other scarier ways I could be uprooted from my current life and friends that I’ve grown so attached to. Then my mind remembered back when I was struggling with false memories and scrupulosity and I essentially made a post on a forum 2 and a half years ago saying I did something or was convinced I did something that I never actually did. Now I’ve been spiraling about someone finding it reporting me and I either get seen as a horrible person or arrested or something over something I never actually did but “admitted” to out of fear of going to hell. My mind won’t let it go and keeps finding new reasons for it to be “valid” “logical” or even inevitable. I feel like it’s just hanging over my head and I can never rest easy. Especially when I try to focus on my daily tasks or plan for the future I get this horrible flair up of “why plan for the future when this could come back in that future and you get uprooted from all of it” my mind won’t rest without certainty being uprooted won’t happen but certainty doesn’t exist, at least not with ocd. This sucks and I miss being care free.

My rocd is making me disconected from my boyfriend thinking he is cringe and that i dont know him or i dont like him for real, making me question the times i was happy thinking i was pretending and i was just thinking i am happy and in love but i wasnt… when i think abt my boyfriend i cant feel happiness… im scared. Yesterday we talked he said he is happy when we talked he sais how happy he is and that if i dont feel the same i should not panic (hw knows about my thoughts) i am so sad, i dont want to be like this forever, im scared

people tell me that what i say sounds like ocd ( no diagnosis yet ) i feel what seems to be attraction to children, it genuinely cannot be ocd. i have this feeling in my chest and this heat feeling all around my body.. all the same feelings i have with like adults or someone i find attractive regularly. they all say it’s most likely ocd, but it can’t be. then i keep trying to find out like what part i feel attracted to, like why i’m attracted to them and.. the attraction/arousal just gets stronger because i actually do find reasons that make me attracted ( the way their face looks, the facial expression they’re making.. etc ) so genuinely, HOW can this be ocd if it’s clear i’m attracted to children and why can’t i just accept that i am one?

Feeling extra lonely tonight … I feel like I’m out of place for some reason in this world .. I’m not depressed… just something feels off

Does anyone want to share any success stories or things they’ve overcome in their ocd journey? My ocd has gone in waves from all consuming to being on the back burner throughout my life. I’m in a bad spot now and need some reminders that things do get better. I’ve seen it for myself, but it’s hard when you’re in the thick of it to remember.

I think I might have dermatillomania. I am not self diagnosing. I get skin picking so bad that my whole back is covered in sores, there's at least 40 of them. I also pick at my head horribly I seriously cannot stop either. I have open sores all over my head and pick and pick and just can never stop. Sometimes I don't notice, and I'm always looking for a spot to pick at. I looked at all the symptoms and ik it runs with ocd. Whenever I get anxious my skin picking becomes very severe. Whenever I wake up I pick at my head too. I seriously don't know how to stop picking and I'm trying to get a diagnostic for dermillomania. I also have started to pick at my nose horribly. I have these blackhesd removers and I keep using them constantly on my face, everytime I'm home from school I use them on my nose and pick at everything on my face.

Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off

I’ve been feeling the urge to avoid intimacy or purposefully engage (for reassurance that I won’t give into a compulsion) because of intrusive thoughts and fear that I’ll “check/test” my reactions. My OCD is making me so scared that I’ll purposefully think of a child and try to see if I like it. It’s so complicated but I guess I’m mentally checking if I would mentally check during intimacy. I’ve even envisioned myself checking and it’s making me so nauseous. I know it’s a compulsion like any other but the sound of “touching yourself to the thought of a child” sounds atrocious and vile. I’m terrified I’ll automatically start checking next time I am being intimate. I truly feel so worried. If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d appreciate hearing your experience. Or if anyone has any advice?

ugh i just feel miserable and like im letting God down. im so scared to be punished by Him. im a believer and i feel like i’m just so hard on myself. does anyone else struggle with this? i feel like my repentance isn’t enough.

My OCD is getting better but i get random intrusive thoughts ranging from different subtypes, like i’ll be enjoying life and randomly get a rlly depressing thought that makes me afraid because i don’t want to believe the thought, and then the next second it’s a horrible harm ocd thought or a religious thought or pocd Please no reassurance, it’s just that i was wondering if anyone dealt else dealt with ocd that is rlly random and not just one theme I think this happens when you beat one big theme and OCD starts coming back in smaller ways? Either way, ik the solution, leave the thoughts, accept the uncertainty, don’t do compulsions 😌

I had the breakup thought it didn’t freak me out and I’m afraid that it’s true that we have to but I don’t want to at all. I had so much fun with him this weekend and he cares for me so much and I care for him so much. I’m litterally crying because he felt bad about something he did. I just hate being away from him. He my favorite person and he’s one of the most if not the most important person in my life and I can’t even imagine loosing him. I just want to physically be with him right now and cuddle and just be happy with him. But no I have to be at my house in my bed alone with out him. Which is nice I have space but I want him in that space.

I’ve been on Fluvoxamine (LUVOX) since 2015. It has worked wonders for my intrusive thoughts, ever since starting at the lowest dose of 50 MG per day. Over the years I’ve had to gradually increase the dose and for the past year I have been at the max 300 MG per day. Unfortunately, over the past few months, I’ve noticed intrusive thoughts and obsessions coming back. Has anyone else taken Luvox for a long period of time and then had it just stop working? If so, what medication did you try next that seemed to work as well as Luvox?

I really want someone to tell me that even if I am really a pedo that they would still love me. Idk. I know it won't cure my distress but it does help a little knowing I would have unconditional love from somebody... I'm so scared that I won't.

Can anyone relate? I have a fear of going crazy and hearing things, I'm in a spiral atm but I've gone through my videos and I've been recording sounds for so long and never thought anything of it. Always to make sure I can hear them back. I feel ashamed.

(sorry for long paragraph but please read and give advice🙏) 2-3 months ago i got to a point where my thoughts were too much and i got numb and felt resentment towards God. I used to think “why did God allow this to happen to me” And it was just crazy. Now about a month ago i feel like i started to have ocd left over mind patterns where i guess my mind started having disturbing thoughts by it self? This time it didn’t feel like ocd. It felt like it was me. Truly me. And i didn’t feel guilty over it for a long time. After this I thought i had committed the sin of blasphemy and for a while i didn’t care? Or maybe i did care but since i was tired of having these thoughts i just made myself not care. Then for about 2 weeks i didn’t seek God at all. And all those thoughts in my mind had calmed down and i didn’t have any thoughts for a while. I felt at ease/peace? Idk if that was a good/bad thing. But recently my mom started talking abt how God is coming soon and that we need to be ready. And i told her to stop bc it was getting me nervous js thinking abt it. She told me “why are you scared if all you have to do is seek him” but in my mind i just kept thinking of my circumstance. but i kept saying “i’m sorry God”. Then yesterday morning i was crying to God and letting go of everything i felt bc the day before was a rlly bad day. So i was just crying and also asking for forgiveness. And i felt like God was actually listening to me? I feel like God still loves me but i just don’t get how. And if i’m truly forgiven. bc i keep thinking that i committed the sin of blasphemy. Because i don’t know if i actually care that i did or that if i care that my heart is hardened towards God. Idk what to do. Then i also wonder why i’m still alive after having all those weird thoughts about God. How can he possibly let me live? Am i truly forgiven? Is God not done with me and that’s the reason why i’m alive? or am i alive so God can punish me and do something to me and he’s just waiting for the right moment? Do i truly care? Do I actually want forgiveness? All these questions. Please help me figure all this out.

I’ve been worried for weeks now that something happened about a year ago in my relationship, a large part of me is like it obviously didn’t happen, but this small other part of me is like what if it did that’ll change everything I’m so tired idk what to do or how to combat it what methods can I use

In last few days I truly realized how pathetic I am, I need permission of completly random people just to live. I feel like I cant have my own opinion because it has to be wrong, or my opinion is affected by some sort of oppresing minorities. I dont have any kind of self esteem, Im just filled with shame. I dont feel anything more than shame for simply existing, all I want is to be reminded over and over again that Im allowed to be. I found out how much of a perfectionist and control freak I truly am, as well as how did white and black thinking affected me, and spoiler alert, it's the root of all of my problems. I've noticed that I dont feel guilt for my thoughts, I dont feel this emotional type of empathy or remorse, every single one of these feelings is just covered by a thick layer of shame. I dont want to be like this, I cannot keep on living if all I ever feel is shame, all I ever think of is "what would this group of people say about me" "what would they say about me" tho I never ever cared about it before. I think Im in some sort of depressive episode, since it lasts already for about a month, but it was like 5 days ago that it got so bad I have hardships with basic functioning. I also havent been leaving my house in about a month except for going out with trash once, I've lost all of my motivation, I no longer have any kind of future before me. I have an I.T exam today, I did and learnt nothing, I just no longer have a reason for why should I do it, it's all meaningless anyway. Im barely 14 and I feel like Im already a 50 year old man with middle age crisis, at least I still have my special interest, but it's also getting taken away by my ocd. Ocd ruined me and left nothing behind, Im a shell of who I was before this hell started. Now I think Im going to ask my dad about the I.T exam and hope that I'll pass it