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Got in a huge argument with my family and it had to do with my ocd (contamination ocd) and they told me they’d wish I was normal. How long do I have to fight this.

tw might be distressing I just need advice saw something on TikTok I was on TikTok, and there’s drama going about two famous TikTokers. One expressing that they were scared to be around someone’s kid due to having sxul intrusive thoughts abt kids. Which is pocd and she said she had pocd but I haven’t read into the whole story. Basically people are saying, POCD, is “maps” I guess someone who has these thoughts but knows it’s wrong and doesn’t act on it but is still a pdf… This has given me anxiety, as a lot of people are agreeing and saying similar things. A lot of people are saying that the thoughts are not focused on being scared of harming a kid present moment.???? And also saying sensations don’t happen? Like groinal response A lot of ppl are saying this im just scared

She's been dealing with this for years but I've never seen her like this. She has her first visit with a nocd therapist tomorrow. How can I help her?

I just got off my session today and after having a confession to my husband last night with a compulsion, he obviously is going to have more questions. My therapist says not to confess because I am growing my OCD . However, this is really OCD and is about something that actually happened. My husband said, that it sounds like I have someone in my life who is justifying withholding information or lying to him. Of course when I have my obsession compulsions, he makes sense. Can somebody help explain this to me? How is my husband not right or is he?

Also I read on tik tok or twitter that if u still feel connected to younger people that means you’re not progressing or maturing and that’s bad. I’m 25 and I’m at this odd stage in my life where I’m getting older but still feel like I’m 20-22. I feel like I’m behind people that are my age. I think it’s because I’m been bed rotting with severe depression for the past 4 years… but I’m scared this means I’m becoming a pedo in the future.

Sadly, my day was ruined this morning. Just had a neurotypical psychology professor today claim that "everyone has a little OCD", then proceed to get down on one knee and tap her finger on a table, mocking and infantilizing individuals with a debilitating mental disorder. She claimed that she was going to "make fun of everyone's OCD" and proceeded to mischaracterize it as about cleaning and hand washing, bringing absolutely little to no attention about the intrusive thoughts. When I confronted her that her rhetoric, she claimed that I was trying to push a liberal agenda on her; she then proceeded to blame me for being triggered and saying that I had a "complex of insecurity". Just using this as a space to vent, but I am baffled about how someone with a PhD in psychology not only proudly shows off their inflammatory bigotry, but proceeds to double down on it when confronted.

I want to beat OCD because I have seen and felt the benefits of clearing my brain from unnecessary, pointless, thoughts. OCD is like 0 calorie food. It’s pointless. No nutrition or benefits come from my obsessions or compulsions. I don’t care to have answers to everything anymore. I catch myself just trying to stress myself out so that I have some worry to feed on. But like I said, it’s a 0 calorie food. I get nothing from it but wasted time and energy. My brain feels more spacious when I’m not consumed by OCD. I’m present. My personality has room to be herself without making space for bullshit. I tell myself now that worry is poison. I think Willie Nelson was the person I got that quote from? Anyways, that imagery of worries being poison for the mind has been transformative for me. I’m evolving. 💖 Thanks NOCD community.

I was doing fine today until I asked ChatGPT if i cheated and they said it could count as emotional cheating if you are engaging in intense daydreams and looking someone up on social media to feed a fantasy about them. My partner and I already spoke about me fantasizing about this person and he said it was totally fine since it happened in my head and he has had crushes and fantasies on coworkers too. However I feel absolutely devastated and wrecked with guilt and anxiety and panic right now. I genuinely feel like a horrible horrible horrible cheater. I don’t know what to do. I have therapy scheduled for later this week but I really really need some advice right now!!! I feel like it could count as cheating since it did happen during a few weeks where i felt a bit distant from my partner and I feel like the daydreaming was excessive. I am so so scared. Do I confess? Do I tell him I cheated? He already told me once that cheating is a physical interaction (and I literally have not interacted with this person outside of surface level responses in a group server that my partner is also a part of). Do I have a moral obligation to tell him I cheated? I need to know.

I need some help. I keep having thoughts that I don’t believe in God anymore or that I don’t want to believe in God. I have always believed but I just recently started following him more closely. I did ask for Jesus to come into my heart. But now I’m scared that I have lost my salvation. It’s hard to read and pray and I keep getting thoughts that I don’t believe what I reading or that God won’t forgive the sins that I have done. I have been having panic attacks and I’m afraid I’m going to go to hell or I’m afraid that it’s true and I don’t believe in God. I’m also afraid that since God does know my heart what if it truly isn’t for him. I just need some help I’m afraid I’m never going to get back to normal.

I’m not sure if this is something normal my OCD has latched onto or if it’s related to ROCD, but sometimes I feel embarrassed about my boyfriend, and I feel awful about it. I feel self conscious of not just myself but of my bf :( The only thing I’m sure about is it doesn’t feel good and it’s usually followed by guilt. And I wish I didn’t feel this way I had a panic attack mostly because of these feelings and also because I realized I’ve never really loved my boyfriend’s name. **I know that’s exactly the thing OCD would focus on 🙂** but it spiraled into thinking about the names of guys and friends. I realized I like some of their names more than my boyfriend’s. That sent me straight into hyperventilating. I know both of these things probably seem ridiculous, but I’m still trying my best. As a small success, I haven’t confessed any of this to my boyfriend 🎉—mostly because I was in the shower (which felt like progress in itself, as my depression has been really bad and my panic debilitating, so taking care of myself felt like a win). After I got out of the shower, my boyfriend was asleep, but I did wake him up but I still didn’t allow myself to confess 🥹. I know I’ll probably end up confessing later, but for now, I’m proud of myself for delaying it. I’m wondering if anyone relates but at the same time I kinda really wanted to share this small sucess :)

So i have an appointment with a doctor in 2 days, but im terrified of taking medication for anxiety, i tried it twice at 15 and would immediately stop taking them after a week or 2 because I was so scared of the side effects, then I tried fluoxetine at 18 and it gave me such bad anxiety with even the first 2 pills that I stopped that as well, now I'm 25 and im willing to try again and stick to it but my mind keeps bringing up all the reasons why I shouldn't and that it could make me worse, make me manic, make me numb, change me etc. Any help or advice welcome

Does anyone Else’s ocd flare up bad when in stressful life situations? I was doing amazing and now that I’m having some drama with my life it seems to have come back with a vengeance. Anyone else?

Hi Everyone, I wanted to share my OCD miracle, which I have kept private until the past couple of weeks. I have had severe OCD since 2001, months after my mother died of cancer and right after 9/11. I saw OCD therapists and did ERP for 23 years, along with trying almost every medication for OCD. Starting in 2021, my OCD became severely crippling. I went to three residential treatment programs for many months between 2021 and 2023, tried Ketamine therapy many times, did TMS many times, among other treatments. My father listened to an iOCDF webinar that covered brain procedures for OCD in 2022 and after some research, I connected with the OCD team at Butler Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island, which is affiliated with Brown University. After multiple visits to Providence and many interviews, and after extensive coordination between my OCD therapists, my psychiatrist and the Brown team, I was scheduled for an anterior capsultonomy (using Laser interstitial thermal therapy (LITT)) in late 2023 with a renowned neurosurgeon in Providence affiliated with Brown. The weeks before my surgery were my lowest points with OCD. Many days I was doing compulsions (mental and otherwise) for over 10 hours per day. I was a partner at a large international law firm and was not able to work and took several medical leaves post 2021. The surgery felt like my last hope. Because no treatments had worked to date, and because my OCD was so severe, I figured I would fall in the 30% of patients who do not significantly improve post surgery. Miraculously, I have not had an OCD episode or spent time doing compulsions since my surgery in 2023. My OCD went from a 9 or 10 to almost a 0. The surgery cured me, and I did believe OCD could be cured. I believe only two institutions in the US (U of Chicago and Brown/Butler) do the surgery in this manner (it is not DBS). I am passionate about helping people with OCD and I hope to assist in making this procedure more accessible. While brain surgery sounds incredibly scary and intense, my nose job (not cosmetic) when I was 15 was much more difficult. While I was in Providence for many meetings and tests for a week before the surgery, I was home the next night after staying at the hospital overnight. I felt no pain at any point and there were just small cuts on my head that healed in weeks. I had no side effects other than fatigue and apathy for a couple of months (for example, I slept until 2 PM many days). It was an absolute miracle. I read many posts in this group about brain surgery for OCD and it is very misunderstood. While this post is anonymous (just worried about employers, etc, given the stigma around mental health and this surgery), it would be my pleasure to speak to anyone who has any questions. I can also introduce you to my treatment team. OCD ruined my life for decades and I am so sorry you are all dealing with it. I am here for you. Thank you for reading!

There are times my harm ocd has me convinced that my feelings of self harm or suicide and harm are real and that any moment I could commit the act on myself or my family. Is there anyone who can chime in on this. I feel like all the time I want to leave run away or avoid my family because of these thoughts. Like I shouldn’t be around my children and I don’t trust myself.

i feel si bad. me and my bf have almost 2 years and my thoughts about me not loving him affects me so so much. he told me rn he ia very attached to me and he loves me and i feel si bad that i dint feel happy and i constantly think “i dont feel the same” “what do i feel” “do i love him” “i dont love him” he shows me how much he loves me and im here feeling si guilty about what i dont feel and im si scared i dont want to not feel i wqnt to love him and be happy what if im in denial i feel so fake

You ever have a thought that stops you in your tracks? A thought so disturbing, so out of nowhere, that it makes you question everything about yourself? That’s how it started for me. A week after my grandfather passed away, I was lying in bed, thinking about him, when suddenly a thought hit me: What if I’m not a good person? What if I never get to see him again? My chest tightened, and my stomach dropped. More thoughts followed. What if I don’t go to heaven? What if he can see everything I’ve ever done? My entire body filled with fear, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t know it then, but I was having my first panic attack. Desperate for relief, I grabbed my phone and played random YouTube videos until I passed out from exhaustion. From that night on, I became terrified of being alone with my thoughts. I had no idea why this was happening to me, but I knew one thing—bedtime would never feel the same again. For a while, I found ways to avoid the thoughts, but then a new one hit me like a truck. I was scrolling through the news when I saw an article about a father who had hurt his kids. My first thought was, That’s horrible. But then, my brain twisted it into something that made my blood run cold: What if I could do something like that? My stomach dropped. Why did I just think that? What does that mean about me? Am I dangerous? I tried to push it away, but the fear only grew. Being alone with my daughter became unbearable. I still took care of her, but I no longer trusted myself. I made up excuses so I wouldn’t have to be alone with her, and when my husband went to work, I spent the day in silent panic. My usual phone calls to my parents, once full of joy, became desperate cries for reassurance, though I couldn’t bring myself to tell them why. Eventually, I told my husband I was struggling with anxiety. He didn’t fully understand but suggested I work out to clear my mind. I remember getting on the treadmill and breaking down in tears, unable to run, unable to escape my thoughts. That night, I called my godfather, terrified of what he would say. But instead of judging me, he told me I needed to tell my husband everything. With all the courage I had, I did just that. My husband was confused but supportive, and soon after, I flew home to Illinois to be with my family. For the first time in weeks, I slept. But the relief didn’t last long. When my mom mentioned going back to work, I panicked. That’s when I finally told her everything. Wanting to help, she told me to pray, so I did—over and over. But instead of bringing peace, prayer became another compulsion, something I had to do to "fix" my thoughts. I was still drowning, desperate for answers, so I did what anyone would do—I Googled. Why am I having these thoughts? The results were unsettling. I kept reading, more and more terrified, thinking I might be going crazy. But then, I saw something that gave me a sense of relief: This sounds like OCD. I stared at the screen. That couldn’t be right. My brother has OCD, and his is about germs—this wasn’t the same. But the more I read, the more it started to click. That’s when I found NOCD. I made an appointment for the next day, and when I met my therapist, she told me she couldn’t officially diagnose me yet because we hadn’t finished all the assessments, but she was confident that I had OCD. At first, I didn’t believe her. OCD isn’t just about handwashing or being neat—it’s about intrusive thoughts that feel so real they shake you to your core. Therapy was terrifying at first. I had to sit with my worst fears instead of running from them. But the more I faced them, the weaker they became. After 11 weeks, I finally felt like myself again. One day, my entire family had to go back to work, leaving me alone with my daughter for the first time in months. The thoughts came: What if you hurt her while no one’s here? But instead of panicking, I used the non-engagement responses I’d learned in therapy. I would respond to the thought with something like, Maybe I could. Maybe I couldn’t. And then I would move on with my day. That was the moment I knew I was getting better. Looking back, I realized I had been experiencing OCD my entire life. As a child, I constantly worried about my parents dying, about being left alone. I used to wonder, What happens when people leave? Do they still exist if I can’t see them?These fears weren’t new—they were just amplified by my postpartum OCD. I’m proud to say that I’ve been in remission for over a year now. While OCD sometimes resurfaces with different themes, it doesn’t control my life. It doesn’t stop me from living fully, from enjoying my time with my daughter, or from embracing the things I love. The road to recovery hasn’t been easy, but I’ve learned that it is possible to take back your life, even when OCD tries to tell you otherwise. ♥️

I am really freaking out. My OCD has developed into some weird things where it’s mostly my imagination and me moving. I got the thought earlier that if I thrust my hips, or move them, let it be to the thought of a child/family being in front of me, cuddling with them. I thought that was ridiculous and obviously no matter what I imagine, NOT REAL. So I did that a bunch of times in an effort to prove to myself that it was ridiculous. I don’t know what to do, because now, a few hours later, I feel horrified. I keep doing it. I don’t think I’m checking anything, I think I’m more so desperate to get rid of this fear and ridiculousness. Can someone please help me?

At this point I think I’m just tired. Took me a massive amount of strength to even type this. I’ve never had it this bad with anxiety depression and OCD. Firstly, how do you guys handle the trauma that comes with OCD. I recently realized Ive traumatized by own mind. I think this contributes to depression. Also, the thoughts frequency have gotten so high. It just literally jams its self in my brain. Before, I had some sort of control (at least a grip) but this days it’s so hard to try to get a grip. The unwanted feelings too? Omg, reactions that I literally can’t stand plagues me. My mind turns almost everything sexual. It’s crazy 🙃 Then the anxietyyyyyy! Wheew. I’m like a walking anxiety attack, my heart is always beating fast and it’s so painful. Working is so hard because I can’t get a grip, I feel so broken and I don’t think anyone can relate to this. I don’t know what I can do to help. Then the pressure in my head (that causes headache sometimes), sometimes I genuinely think I have a tumor! I’m pregnant so that makes it sadder, makes me wonder what kind of mother this beautiful soul is coming out here to meet. I don’t want to be a sad mother, and I cry more when I realize my child can feel what I feel rn in my belly😔. Another thing, the moment I don’t wanna do something, doesn’t even have to be anything bad. That’s when it feels my mind wants to force me to do it. It’s a whole lot and I’m just holding on to Jesus to help me out. At least he’s here so that’s comforting.

I’ve been dealing with my OCD that’s been non stop for a year. From the moment I wake up to going to sleep I have this urge to push air out of my nose nonstop. Sometimes it’s accompanied with weird breathing/deep breathes. It happens like every minute. It’s embarrassing when people notice. I feel like it’ll never go away

Two days ago, my neighbor let me know her child had tested positive for flu. Since our kids are friends, she told me to keep an eye on mine. It disturbed my peace a bit, but I pushed thru as best I could. (I say that then think back over my movements the past couple of days and it's honestly kicked up the compulsions.) Today, she woke up with a fever and now the obsessions have taken over my thoughts. I'm so worried about getting the fever. Usually it would be because I'm scared to take medicine, but this time it's something different entirely, which has me more freaked. My nose has been bleeding off and on for a month now and it just started happening again a few days ago. From prior research, it says you can't take Tylenol or ibuprofen with a nose bleed because it thins the blood. So I'm freaking out about how I'll treat my fever IF I do get one. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Such thought loops bring on such feelings of inadequacy. How can I help my child heal when I can't even help myself? Or how can I care for her as best as I can when I'm so afraid of catching it? Also, I rely on my husband to talk me down and help me emotionally when these situations arise and it makes me feel incredibly weak. He didn't marry this person. I was confident and didn't know the meaning of anxiety when we got together 16 years ago. But since the birth of our youngest daughter, fear, anxiety, and OCD has been my new norm. I feel like a failure for needing so much reassurance and for constantly feeling like I can't do this on my own. Sometimes it makes me obsessed that he's going to give up on me because I'm not worth the trouble and other times it makes me want to give up so I stop relying so much on him. My child has a little cold and for the most part, is totally fine, but still I'm obsessed about this being something I'm going to catch that ultimately is going to kill me. all because of a stupid little nose bleed and fear of fever.