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anyone else have ROCD that has no desire to kiss their boyfriend, I almost feel like an ick when I do, I'm scared. Help!

Hi all, I’m brand new to this app. I’ve never had any mental disorders. I’ve never been diagnosed or even suspected that I had some kind of issue going on. But recently my partner gently pointed out to me that I’ve developed some weird tendencies that are progressively getting worse. I’m getting overly anxious about the smallest of things. Every time he leaves for work, I stare at the tracker on my phone until he gets through his 25 minute commute because I’m convinced there will be a wreck. I’m terrified that someone is constantly taking pictures of me through my windows and even feel like people can see through my (solid) blinds at night. Every time I hear someone in the hallway of my apartment complex I stare out the peephole because I’m convinced they’re going to break in, even if it’s a neighbor that I recognize. I check myself for lumps in my body every morning and every night, and my partner too, even though neither of us have any scary medical history. I unplug everything with a cord every night before I go to bed because I’m terrified that something is faulty and my apartment will catch on fire. I am constantly afraid of being sued by people I don’t know even though the worst thing I’ve ever done is gotten a speeding ticket. I have dreams that people are sending me threatening mail and it stops me from opening my actual mail. There are so many more, I could go on forever. Writing it all down, I know it’s stupid. I just don’t know if feeling this way is normal. There are people out there that have actual stressors and here I am working myself up a million times a day over nothing. Do normal people feel like this? I thought it was normal.

i’m anxious because after my boyfriend and i got in a argument i was “daydreaming” or thinking about what it would be like dating someone else who was more “right for me” and what if i was excited about that possibility like i had already moved on from my boyfriend. but when i really think about it i don’t want to be without him and don’t want to picture us breaking up. i know i love him but those other thoughts scared me and im now questioning if they mean im falling out of love with him. and if that’s the case i feel like i need to confess that. but at the same time these thoughts could be ocd because the “daydreaming” started after we had been getting in arguments a lot and then i kept seeing other couples interact online and i compare my relationship to that. but then when i think about my own relationship i have everything i want and am being treated how i want to be treated. i’m just scared that because i have had those thoughts about being with someone else that i need to break up him because our relationship is tainted now and i need to start over and do everything perfectly. i think these thoughts are triggered my us fighting and him not fully understanding my rocd and me looking at relationships where the boyfriend understands the girlfriends ocd and supports her and wanting my relationship to me more like that. which logically i know doesn’t mean we have to break up and i need to start over. i can just bring up this issue and communicate what i want and how i want to be supported. i just feel like i need to confess all these thoughts and that i “daydreamed” about being with someone else (no one in particular) and how im now focused on his flaws in comparison to couples online.

I was good with my themes kinda, and then I felt the ocd switch so that was expected. But this one feels different, since my ocd I’ve been more accepting of gay people, I believe in God and that he created life and people as they are, and don’t believe that it’s necessarily wrong to be gay, but my boyfriend believes that being gay is a sin, he’s not discriminating or disrespectful to anyone. He has never let it impact the way it treats anyone like ever. This topic has only come up in conversation like twice in the 4 years we’ve been together and both times it was while I had soocd so it felt super sensitive to talk about. But now, I’m grasping more with seeing him as his own person again and not comfort for my ocd, so my ocd is clinging onto this one difference between us and it truly feels now like this is a dealbreaker, even though this has never impacted our relationship together at all. It wouldn’t impact the way we raise our kids or treat other people but just the fact that he thinks that makes me ocd think it’s enough that I’ll want to find someone else with the same view as me. I know deep down I don’t want to break up because when I’m not focused on this flaw, I feel happy and in tune with him. Does anyone have any advice ?:(

This happened multiple times, I see someone, I think of them something, and then they die after a while Im afraid that I might caused them evil eye or something For example once I saw this famous monkey on instagram and thought “wow is it still alive?” Then it died days later and the owner was crying saying that the vets didn’t know what caused its death since it was fine ☹️ I immediately thought maybe it was because of me This happened to other people too, like celebrities or people I know them in my circle, I kinda feel responsible for it and Im afraid it might develop into deep guilt

How do I stop letting my intrusive thoughts control me? Ive been having them for almost a year, once I graduated, become more isolated and lost more friends they've become worse. I feel like when I had friends and was still going to school they weren't as bad probably because I was living more so I didn't take them as seriously. But now that Im home all day and alone they've gotten worse and it feels like they're starting to control my life. Theres times where Im on social media and eventually I forget about them but then when I realize I forgot about them they come back. Sometimes the thought just lingers it doesn't even just pop in my head and go away. I can't tell anyone in my family because they'd judge me for the thoughts and they don't really believe in mental illnesses. I also sometimes think of what other people may think of me if they knew the thoughts I had and it makes it worse. How do I stop letting these thoughts control/trigger me and stop reacting or feeling some type of way about them.

I feel like I dont have control of what I say in my head that I feel like it's not me saying those things. I was trying to pray and I was cursing at God and the spirit and now I'm scared because I feel like it's me and not an intrusive thought. I have an appointment later and I was trying to pray about that in my head but now that I did that I feel like things will go wrong .

Idk whats going on…my mental state hasnt been great these past two weeks. My eating is being affected in a neg way due to transition between therapists, school, and ignoring my sexuality….Ive been taking several different kinds of quizzes over the past week regarding mental health and ED and i realized that if i dont eat enough to feel full i’ll end up sick or worse dead. It doesn’t help that i also just started my period. And i just woke up in the middle of the night with food, hydration, and possibly not waking up in mind. And tried going back to sleep but then i realized that I might actually have a problem on my hands and that jolted me awake. Now im scared of sleeping and not making it through the night….i could easily get up and make myself an oatmeal even though im not hungry atm, but dont wanna wake family that are sleeping in the living room. Im scared of dropping more weight than I already have been and having my nutritionist intervene…. Im realizing that im fucking myself up from not eating well and being too picky and i wanna slap a bandaid on it and just eat everything to hopefully gain some weight before my next nutrition appt. I’m just scared of things getting worse….is this part of OCD or is it just me just plain out ignoring my body cos in feeling like it??? Idk what to believe about myself anymore….

Hello, im a 21ye old male. All of my life i was always atrscted to girls, even if it was only a hug by a girl i liked i got a boner. I always fantasised about doing fun stuff (not onyl sex) with my gf. Had a gf for almost two years. Two months ago i fell into severe anxiety about my sexuality changing. It happened to me 2 years ago bit then i had my gf and i did not need to worry if i will find a girl i love or will i be able to because i already had her. The toughts were realy intense but they faded and for 2 years i did not experience any doubts or fears about it. Then it happened again in december. For 2-3 weeks i was realy down...constant toughts about doing things with men i never wanted to do, fear that i liked someone, fear of denial...but them bc of getting back with my girlfriend it was okay for three weeks almosf. Then we broke up again and after a few days i had the worst days of my life. I felt like i actually changed, i did not know what to do. Then after a week I went out with a girl and when she laid on me when we wafched a show I got aroused like i always did with my ex. I felt such relief and i could handle my fears and anxiety for almost a month. Then a week ago the fear returned and i am again in a very bad spot, i dont know what else to do, i have no girl that i love, i am afraid i will never be able to experience those same feelings and moment that i had with my ex and then again the toughts of being in denial came back. I dont know what to do. My psychiatrist said i dont have ocd but onyl simptoms and that my anxiety is the proboem. Any one experienced something similar? Thanks

My ocd gets so loud in the silence and right before bed when there’s no distractions. I always struggled with anxiety since my teens and guided meditation used to help… until OCD. First time trying guided meditation with OCD I had an intrusive thought of “what if you actually lose control and can’t follow these instructions?” And got even more anxious 🫠🫠🫠 had to stop, and haven’t tried to meditate ever since. Just curious to know. Sometimes I feel like I have the worst type of OCD. It will latch onto anything to make me anxious!

I’m new to the app and wanting to know who else experiences this form of ocd. Some background I was a therapist for over 10 years now I am out of the clinical space. So I have background knowledge of ocd but never knew much about relationship ocd. I realized over the last several years with my now fiancé, that I have a hard time just letting go in general, whether that’s an argument or statement or feeling. I want to be able to just accept things at face value and move on (and talk later if my partner is ready as needed). But when conflict arises I can’t disengage till there is a clear resolution. It’s causing serious strife as he can feel trapped and it escalates the argument. I am reading more and this sounds like relationship OCD. Anyone else experience this? Curious on what others have done to work on this for themselves. I do have a therapist but we are not doing work in this area yet as I am realizing this is an actual concern.

My sister is going to a concert and coming back to the house where me and my family live. In my mind her clothes are extremely dirty. And I know her coming back is going to cause a lot of strong contamination thoughts to enter my head. I’m exhausted already from pushing myself and I can’t seem to focus on anything when these thoughts are really strong. I’m in college and this makes focusing on homework difficult. I failed an exam the other day bc I couldn’t stop thinking about what I need to clean and then cleaning. It’s really exhausting.

I’m looking at old pictures and videos of my ex and I didn’t feel a spark or anything looking at them. During our relationship there were times I found her attractive and other times I didn’t. Almost like her weight triggered me and I felt guilty about that because I really tried to not focus on that. I don’t know why I was/am so fixated on her weight. I was doing the “what ifs” as a form of ERP. I was saying in my head, “what if she’s big what if she’s not” while looking at these pictures and videos. And then looking at it again, I was trying to remember what I felt when I was with her and took out the physical and it made my anxiety go down a bit. But I don’t wanna force anything or get myself too hyped up but for that second I felt at ease. I’m ngl I’m a little more confident then I was a year ago w/ myself. Sometimes I ask myself, “was I fixated on her weight and certain people seeing her bc I was uncomfortable about how I looked?” I’m trying to sit with uncertainty. I know this is a process and I am scared what’s gonna happen. “What if she moves on? What if I do?” I feel like I don’t know what love is anymore or if I ever was attracted to her in the first place. I’m also scared that if she does lose weight I’ll like her more and become more attracted. I’ve looked a pictures of her before and it triggers me bc I am attracted a little bit more and that makes me feel guilty. I know looks aren’t everything and they shouldn’t be. She’s honestly the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Does there need to be a spark all the time or does it fade in a relationship? Before getting on this app and seeing a therapist, we were talking everyday and I felt like when we would FaceTime I would look at her physical and my instrusive thoughts would kick in. I noticed that certain ways she layed or turned her head, I felt more attracted to her and I hated that. She had dyed her hair back in November and I felt more attracted to her , but my thoughts got to me and I felt like if I flirted it would come off fake. My thoughts would say, “she’s more attractive bc she has different color.” I kept my distance because I thought maybe if I continue to see my therapist and get on medication i would feel differently. I was hoping something would happen or I would feel something like I did when we first got together. But I’ll be honest when I first met her I wasn’t attracted. So maybe this isn’t an OCD thing? I’m confused. But I feel more confident with myself now, but I know I still have a long way to go. I’ve only been in therapy for 6 months. I’m just getting impatient and I’m trying not to.

I went online today playing a social game & couldn’t rlly talk to anyone. there was this one girl that started talking but then my wifi started acting up. it’s rlly hard to talk to ppl online bc it’s tiring having to put up with rude ass people. yeah, I can do in person but I also struggle with that too. the online friends I have don’t rlly talk much and I guess it makes sense bc everyone is busy with life but man. I’ve been feeling quite lonely as of late and idk how much I can hold on. it’s like I’m losing touch with the online ones. I don’t have any irl since 17 & I am tired. idk man I just wanna disappear and spawn in another world or jus be happy. I think I might quit my job and pursue a design job at home depot thru networking bc that’s a plan B I have. that’s if I can even land the job. I think I might take a break from college bc idek what I want atp. I feel like I’m slowly dying inside from this loneliness. I am trying everyday. this feeling is soooo ass

i have a very strong fear of cheating on my partner due to past experiences in my relationship and so i was scrolling through old messages and i saw i was texting another girl i used to play video games and i also tried to get together with and in this conversation we had talked about how i had got a girlfriend and then we played some games but the messages just seem flirty and i guess i just feel guilty or like what if i cheated and didn’t remember or were my intentions at the time to be flirty does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

Having ocd that I’m gonna become this horror movie guy, how do I fix this lol it’s crazy

Ive shared here many times that this year my health anxiety got really bad and it got to a point where i had really sad thoughts and i dont know what to do with them cause they are really deep/dark and i feel like it can be real, like in that situation i can feel the same thing. Im talking about the fear of having cancer, i had alot of stomach issues in these 2 months and i couldnt handle my emetophobia and because i heard from others thst the way i react now to this issue, i couldnt handle if i would have cancer and i would die because of stress, and this made me think cause i think its true... And this became and obsession lurking behind, and one night it gave me actual thoughts like i have cancer and im thinking that maybe i spend my last day with mx family, they are seeing me the last time and how sad will be for them when i die, these really dark things and it made me feel soo sad, like im in that situation and i felt that hopelessnes dark feeling that i might not wake up tomorrow and how it will affect others.. It's a horrible feeling.. and what made me spin more is that after this i thought that i would have the same thoughts if i would be dangerously ill and those feelings are scaring me and i dont know what to do about it... Im afraid i would feel the same thing and it scares me cause these are really dark and strong feelings, you cant just ignore it and move on... It really hard to navigate yourself through these dark thoughts, atleast i cant just move on...

Has anyone experienced their reputation affected or misunderstood because of a societally taboo OCD theme? Others catching wind of your obsessions and misinterpreting it, assuming the worst? I’m intentionally keeping it vague because I don’t want my specific situation to get reassured, but it’s been a real tough pill to swallow knowing that people close to me (and anyone else they might talk to) think of me differently. I’m unwilling to share about my OCD because I feel pretty confident it will be taken as an excuse or denial, and feels compulsive and reassurance seeking. Let me know if anyone here has experienced anything like it, how they handled it, exposures you did.

And doing the next thing on my to do list when I’m feeling down really helps. (And avoiding Google, Reddit, YouTube, calling people for reassurance). This is soooooo hard to do sometimes. In fact, it’s painful!!!!! My brain is on fire. But I ask myself, “do you want to get better, or do you want to get worse?” And then, I tell myself, “okay then, you want to get better. Then, move forward!!!! What’s the next thing in your to do list?” (To do list could be: take a walk, clean, exercise, watch tv show, work, budget, write a grocery list, etc.) it really, really helps. It takes time… be patient!!! Persevere! your brain will heal! If you need to have someone in your life who asks you these questions, (I wrote them down below, again, in case you want them laid out very neatly and nicely!!!) … have them do it! I know a lady whose husband asks her these questions right when she is in the middle of an ocd crisis. She is better now. It does take time. It’s painful. But it works. You guys! Take ownership of this and move forward! What are the things you want to do when you’re better? Make a list! Start them! One day at a time. Don’t overthink it. Do the next thing that is really obviously snd really clearly something you should do. Ask God for help. “Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Hey! Also! Eating carnivore diet also helps my mental health. I watch one video a day about carnivore to stay motivated. Getting outside, 30 min in the sun daily! You can do this! I’ve had about 100 panic attacks in the past three years. Terrors, fears of going to psych ward. Those fears were so not true! I don’t need and didn’t need to go to the psych ward! At the time I really felt like I did! I’m better now. The above helped! You’re NOT crazy! You just have a really oversensitive conscience, which means you’re amazing! You’re probably also highly intelligent! (You have one of the eight great smarts… people smart, or self smart, etc). The man with the highest IQ in the world says that really smart people struggle with mental health more than others. Leave the gray areas behind… the past…. The confusing things… the worries about your mistakes…. Leave them behind. They don’t define you! That’s not your identity. You will do whatever you think you are. So who are you? (I.e., who do you want to be?) you are not your OCD. OCD is a real challenge in your life, and it makes life SO much harder. But it’s not your identity. Whatever fears your OCD gives you, those are not your identity either. What is your identity? Think about it. For me, Ephesians 1 answers that question. I was born again; Jesus died for me! He bought me with His blood. I am a daughter of the King! Psalm 45. So I will clean my room! I will carry myself with dignity, even if I have hurt my own reputation and hurt relationships in my life, and there are people who are so confused by how I’ve been acting these past three years. There is always time for a new start. My past doesn’t define me. I will move forward. I will sing and record a song on YouTube to encourage others. I will help my friend who has cancer. I will write a friend who is lonely and encourage her. I will read my Bible. I will exercise. I will behave like the daughter of the King, and put on makeup cause it’s like I’m royalty (even if no one else knows, and I don’t look like it; but God knows!) Move forward in what is clear. Maybe you need to brush your teeth right now. Do it! Your identity is that you are deserving of a life with purpose, meaning, and you are loved and valued! You are a human being that is precious. You are unique and have things to offer to this world that no one else can. Oh, and have fun! Watch a fun show like Alone! Relax… just stop being so hard on yourself! You’re doing great! You’ve made such wise and cautious decisions your whole life because you have ocd. Nobody needs to approve of you… Imagine me sitting right in front of you, and telling you this in a very firm and kind voice. I understand how you feel, but…. 1. Do you want to get better, or do you want to get worse? 2. If you want to get better, then…. Move forward. Move forward. Move forward. (I know! It’s really, really, really hard. I know it hurts. I know there is SO MUCH PAIN IN YOUR BRAIN RIGHT NOW. And all you want to do is seek someone’s reassurance. But they will just make it worse for you.) Sooo… 3. What’s the next thing in your to do list? Don’t overthink what should be on there. Do the next thing. Do the next thing. Do the next thing. You will get better. You can heal.

TW!!!! TW! Not talking abt SOCD in talking abt those really gross intrusive thoughts about sexual things with family ,friends, animals, random people. Mine is with family specifically my mom and I am so scared and my OCD is saying I actually want these thoughts to happen irl. I’m scared and these thoughts aren’t just the average incest thoughts there are sooo messed up it crazy, a few weeks ago I gas a thought that I was pregnant with that family member I mentioned before and I know ewwwwww wtf it’s sooo bad and I’m scared ppl will judge me for it in here or my therapist I’m so scared and it keeps adding to this thought like what it would be like if that were true and it’s sounds so crazy and gross and f****d up I feel so guilty and scared and I don’t wanna do ERP cuz I’m scared worse thoughts will come and your probably think well I can’t get worse then that but unfortunately it probably could anyways I’m sorry for ranting and pls pls reply cuz I feel rlly alone cuz I feel like no one gets THESE thoughts aghhh 😖