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the NOCD Community

Yall girls wirh hocd just lost ur femininity? I dont enjoy getting ready anymore like inused to. Putting on lashes and nails is jusr not giving me that sparkle u kno its like makig me feel nothing. Looking cute and got me feeling cute anymore. I miss those days in summer where u feel al clean and pretty snd go out to dinner n shit. All i feel is anxiety now. Getting ready for a party is anxious while it used to be so fun to do it with friends with music blasting. I dont feel like the pure woman i used to be i feel disgusting and ruined. I was so girly and i miss the girly me. Like the developement of me growing in to the adult me has been disturbed by hocd and now im growing up to be the woman i wasnt supposed to be. Im so scared im missing out on becoming thr woman who i was suppose to be if that makes sense. Hocd grabbed on to very little thing i enjoyed and poisoned it.

Did I act? Harm OCD but I was also actually angry? Hi everyone could use some advice here. A little background - I remember having OCD since I was a teenager. I’ve had everything from religious OCD to sexual OCD fears like POCD and so in. You name a genre of OCD, I’ve probably had it. Also, lately I’ve been dealing with some anger issues. I’ve had some trouble feeling frustrated with my wife. I know this is not part of the OCD but it has led to some events that have been entangled with Harm OCD symptoms. Let me be clear: I don’t think that I’m the sort of person capable of hurting anyone. I’m afraid of causing harm to others. I always have been. However, a couple of times I’ve driving with my wife in the car while we’re in the middle of an argument and this terrible thought of pulling into oncoming traffic pops into my head. I have a history of apologizing to her about not driving carefully enough. One night, I found myself feeling really frustrated by a discussion we were having. I was driving at the time and I remember having an awful, awful, dark thought while at an intersection as I about to make a left hand turn. It was, "instead you could pull out in front of this oncoming car as it's approaching and it would hurt both of you". I was feeling frustrated and angry about our conversation. I also don't remember the car being so close to where I couldn't get around it, so I went for it. I pulled out in front of the car and accelerated really quickly so that we would be sure to get around it. She was on her phone, but joked about how fast I was driving. I think I was accelerating so quickly so that we'd get around the car and that we wouldn't be hurt. But why on earth did I pull out in front of it in the first place? I MAY have been angry and acted in anger. I beat myself up over this for months and months, however, I still don’t know what happened. I feel like there’s a strong chance that OCD made the entire situation seem way worse than it actually was. I honestly don’t know. Sometimes when I’m frustrated with her about something, some impossible Harm OCD thought will come into my head where I’m hurting her. Now I’m better at thinking “Ridiculous. I would never do that” and blow it off. Well, a really similar situation happened yesterday. I was driving and I happened to be upset at my wife about something. I let the angry thought kind of flow through me and didn’t react. However, I found myself in the same left-hand turn situation again. My brain produced the thought - “you could turn left again in front of oncoming traffic and hurt her and yourself”. I blew it off. Of course I would never ever do that. But, in that moment, I noticed that my hand on the steering wheel slightly turned in that direction. Like I said, I had no intention of pulling out. Maybe my hand just did this because I was prepping to turn left after the cars had finished coming and I could make my turn. Again, I HAD NO INTENTION OF PULLING OUT. But what I can’t figure out is, why do I remember this slight pull the left of my hand on the wheel after the thought? Was I really just driving as normal, positioning the wheels to turn after the cars had passed? Or did my body react to the OCD thought? I would never want to cause harm to my wife. The anger I was feeling complicates this and makes it feel like I intended to do something even though I know I wouldn’t intentionally hurt my wife. So confused. Can anyone relate or offer advice?

So I told myself "I am a bisexual and I know I still like boys and there's nothing wrong with finding girls attractive too" I don't know what it was but i felt anxious but at the same time a kind of relief. I think I'm a bit more comfortable right now even though it did make me cringe a bit.

Hi guys! I’m new to this and trying to get some advice. My OCD has gotten out of control the past couple years and it’s becoming debilitating. It’s to the point where it takes me an hour at night to check and make sure my door is locked when i know it’s locked because I’ve checked it 50 times. I’ll even take pictures of the door, but when i get the urge to get back out of bed and check, looking at a picture doesn’t help. Different scenarios run through my head: “Well what if it unlocked itself? What if i accidentally touched the door after I took the picture and now it’s actually unlocked?” Same with making sure the faucet is off and other little things. It’s interfering with my life at this point. Can any of you share your stories with me on how you’ve taken control over your OCD? Or even if you haven’t and you’re still struggling...you’re not alone. Thanks in advance!!!

I just feel like my hocd isn't ocd. It doesnt feel like I can determine if I like it anymore. It just feels like I like it now and that im trying so desperately to relate to people with it. I want to just cry and crawl into a hole an die. This isnt what I want but it feels like have no choice and I'm trapped. It feels so real that im at a point where I feel like there is no way it cant be real :(

Can anyone tell me if this is OCD or not: sometimes I get obsessed with like a “plan” or an “idea” and just can’t stop thinking about it. It can be anything totally random. Yesterday at the store I saw a loaf of tiny bread. I really wanna get it and other stuff to make tiny little sandwiches. I literally couldn’t sleep last night because all I can think about is making these tiny sandwiches??? I had to get up and tell my partner about it. Still thinking about it today. Told everyone at work today. There is some anxiety around it because I feel like I NEED to go through with the plan or the idea or whatever, but it’s not fear based at all. Is that part of my OCD or is it something else?

How do I know if I should seek therapy? How do I know if I am actually mentally ill or if my brain is just playing tricks on me? How do I know if I’m only experiencing normal day to day anxiety or if I actually have a disorder? Do I see a therapist or a psychiatrist? Aren’t the two different somehow? How do I know what kind of help to look for? I know how I feel but I do not know how to say it with words. What could a therapist/psychiatrist possibly do for me if I can’t even tell them what I am feeling? I want to try but I am so afraid of failure.

If I were to also take medication for ocd along side erp and ACT therapy, what seems to be the best one? I'm pretty afraid of side effects. I heard alot of good things about Prozac for ocd. What do y'all think (keep in mind I'm a young adult male)

How do I know if it was a platonic crush

Where do people stand on dating other people that do not have OCD?

I am so alone right now. I have family and I have friends who love me but they don’t connect with me. They don’t understand me and I feel like I don’t belong. Ocd has made things 100% worse by triggering self esteem issues (bad) and I feel like I get constant kicks in the teeth by everyone in my life. Even people I was close with I feel so distant from. I’m so fed up, I think I’m falling into a depression

It feels so real People talk about knowing “deep down” but I honesty don’t know And I’m scared if I say I’m straight I’m lying or if I say I’m gay I’m lying All I do know is I want to be with a guy eventually but it feels like I don’t even have feelings for them. And yet I don’t have feelings for women, I’m scared I’m going to though. Can someone please talk to me and help? :(

Any tips for not ruminating? It seems like the thoughts just come and I ruminate on them forever and just get stressed and all kinds of physical sickly symptoms. I feel like most of my day is spent trying to convince myself I'm not a violent person..

OMG I was watching an old Oprah and how this wife and husband ended up being gay and lesbiwn and how she knew but she didn’t know and how she was boy crazy in high school and I’m scared now because of my past am I

Any techniques to calm hocd? Like something SOS? I try to say they’re thoughts and mean nothing, but then I go “what if I’m in denial and that’s why I’m say this and thinking this?” And I spiral again. Anything would really help at this point. I really feel like the odd one out here.

Can anyone answer this : i see tiktok as a trigger i love watching them but if i see a pretty girl on their it sometimes gives me that pit feeling and sometimes triggers my hocd , i don't know whether to continue watching them as an exposure or delete the app , i feel like i should keep watching them daily but i don't know how exposure therapy works and what to do

Hey everyone I’m really struggling right now I’m not having any intrusive thoughts I’m just ruminating on the possibility of be being a you-know-what and I’m so anxious because I can’t tell my real memories apart from fake ones and I’m feeling a strong urge to self-harm. Sometimes my OCD fluctuates and I feel completely rational and okay and I know I’m not like this but other times my brain is just completely horrible and stupid and I really do convince myself that I’m a you-know-what. I’m just feeling really triggered and terrible right now I don’t need reassurance I just need some tips or suggestions for coping mechanisms to de-escalate all of this. Somebody please help I’m sorry.

when i’m waking up it feels so real that i actually want it, but its not a good feeling. And after a while i get anxiety. And then i have anxiety rest of the day. Can anyone relate?

It feels like I just need to accept this, but how? When I’m not any of these things. But these thoughts seem to real! Like I want these things and I like them. But no I don’t. Could this really be hocd?? Any thoughts hocd sufferers??

Lol how tf can I not look at ANY FEMALE without wondering if I would get butterflies if I were to kiss her or am attracted to her or think about a stupid ass lesbian scenario with her. Done done done. Make it stop. It feels like I totally would want it. I’m so sick of it. It’s almost like I’m used to it. But still don’t want to act on it. UGH