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I always find myself being scared that I am in denial. That my "true feelings" are coming to the surface and I just am denying it and burying it. Deep down, I know it isnt true. (Or maybe that's just denial?!) These thoughts just seems to come with a flash. But I'm still scared and disgusted and cant get these thoughts out. And they just keep getting worse and more in depth. No matter what I think to reassure myself, my brain always comes up with something to contradict it. Pictures containing the subject of my fear usually trigger these unwanted thoughts. Then I feel a deep disgust to the point where if I even see something that may trigger thoughts, i get a deep feeling of disgust even before intrusive thoughts happen. Its like a big ball of disgust, guilt, doubt, shame, anxiety, and an existential crisis rolled up into one emotion. I dont know if this all makes sense but..Does anyone have anything that may help.. or can anyone relate?

When I was a kid, probably 6 years old, I discovered that touching a certain area felt good, I didn't know what sex was yet, so I figured it was just a weird random thing, but I did have some sense that people shouldn't touch their "bathroom area" while in public, so I just did this activity at night while in bed when everyone else was asleep. I know a lot of kids discover masturbation before they know what sex is, so that's not uncommon, but what makes me feel ashamed is that at the time I shared a room with my sister, and sometimes even a bed (if I was 6 she would have been around 4) and now I think, DOES THAT MEAN IM A PERVERT?? Again I was pre pubescent and had no sense of what sexual activity was or anything and was innocent, and only ever did this while everyone was asleep, but eventually my Mom found out and decided to give me "The Talk" (only the very, very basics at that point) when I was around 7, and said not to do it anymore because it was a sin, but i still did anyway, just got better at hiding it and we got separate beds on separate sides of the room so it was more private. I doubt my sister ever had any clue but I feel like I'm probably some kind if pervert because I didn't go into the bathroom or something where I could be alone.

Also I’m freaking out right now because there was something in my fridge that I used like an hour ago. And I just went back to get it but it’s gone. It’s not there and I’ve checked everywhere. And nobody has been into the kitchen since. I’m scared that this is like a glitch in my simulation or something. My solipsism and anxiety surrounding it always goes up when things like this happen. There’s no explanation. I feel like I’m going insane.

for people in recovery or people who have recovered: does it get better? will i be able to live my life normally without having this sense of dread, disgust, guilt, and pain? im so afraid of being this way forever. i feel like i’m never gonna get my life back.

I have a recovery question. I’m a year in from harm/suicidal ocd and there has been ups and downs. I’ve made it to the point where I’m desensitized from the thoughts, but they’re still occurring at about the same frequency. Some days more some days less. Did I do ERP to intensely to become desensitized too quickly?

I HATE hocd

i keep going over the times where i found my cousins attractive. i grew up in a culture where marrying ur cousins is very common and even when i was little, my family would joke about how i was gonna grow up to marry my cousin. but now i’m just reviewing all the times where i had “crushes” on my cousins and found them attractive. i know that this is extremely horrific and disgusting but i have NEVER EVER acted on it and never will. i am NOT into incest but my ocd keeps trying to use these “crushes” as proof that i am. it’s also playing into my rocd because my ocd keeps telling me that i actually need to be with my cousin which means i need to leave my boyfriend because somehow this is the only way to satiate my self. i know how stupid and ridiculous this sounds but i just can’t shake the uncomfortable feeling i have about all of this. i know you guys are judging me heavily but i needed to let this out.

Going through some religious ocd thoughts and feelings right now:( how I wish I was normal

i started to ignore the thoughts and then when they came they meant nothing to me. now i feel like i’ve accepted them and i’m becoming them because i now no longer have anxiety and i used to feel disgust about the thoughts, i don’t even have anxiety about not having anxiety.(the thoughts feel more real)

Anyone have ocd when decorating/choosing home decor ?

Disclaimer: if you are experiencing tinnitus, this may be triggering. Hello everyone, I could use some advice. I developed tinnitus when I was very young. It started out very mild, but the intensity of the ringing has slowly increased over the years. I don't know what the culprit is for this, maybe loud music, maybe ear infections, maybe the Zoloft I took for 8 years. I will never now. The tinnitus is a recurring OCD topic for me. My biggest fear is that the tinnitus will become worse, and that I will also develop hyperacusis and hearing loss and that I won't be able to take it anymore. Recently my worries about tinnitus resurfaced when I switched my antidepressants from Zoloft to Clomipramine (Zoloft stopped working for me after 8 years). I read that (increased) tinnitus is a possible side effect of clomipramine. I've been taking it for a couple of weeks now and I'm afraid that my tinnitus has worsened, but I'm not 100% sure. It could also seem worse because I'm so focused on it. Not knowing the answer is fuel for my OCD. My compulsions involve googling, doing online hearing tests, asking for reassurance and continuously listening to the tinnitus to see if it has gotten worse. Now the first things I mentioned I can try to stop doing when doing ERP sessions. But I just can't stop listening to the tinnitus, because it's always there. Trying to ignore it only makes it worse. What also doesn't help is that I feel like I still have a choice to stop with the medicine. I feel like I have to constantly check the tinnitus in order to decide if I should stop taking the meds. Does anyone know how to deal with this? What exercises would be helpful for me?

A little „guide“ how I handle my intrusive thoughts/ocd/rocd based on cognitive behavioral therapy, ACT and mindfulness (if you are interested) -disclaimer- You do not have to do this this way! for others this might not be the best way to handle ocd. nevertheless, I have put this way to handle my ocd together with my therapist and it works for me and I wanted to share it because when I was on this side I always searched for something like this... intrusive thought: my boyfriend of two years shares a lot of traits with my ex my obsessive reaction: oh my god no this can‘t be! if they are alike this means I chose my current boyfriend because I was filling the void my ex left! This means we cannot be together anymore because our getting together was not perfect! I need to leave! my bodily reaction: panic, an unpleasent tingling sensation in my arms and legs, feeling dizzy my compulsions that I didn‘t do (yeeeay?): I wanted to check on the internet if this is indeed a red flag, what it means, if there is hope or if the relationship is doomed. I also wanted to phone my boyfriend and ask him if this is okay (again asking for reassurance) and I wanted to confess that I had these „bad“ thoughts and wanted to apologise -> all these behaviors to lessen the anxiety what I did instead: I recognized my want for reassurance (which I know is a compulsion) and stoped myself from doing it. I then asked myself „hm I wanted to ask some advise that some person I don‘t even know put on the internet... what is my opinion about such a matter, if a friend of mine asked me this question what would I say? (my answer would be: maybe yes your chioce would have been based on the void your ex left, but you cannot know for sure. does this really change the situation you are in? You do still love your boyfriend and you want to be together with him right? so this is something uncertain and let this uncertainty be and try not to do your compulsions -> your opinion matters more than what some random dude wrote about it in the internet other things I did: I looked back at my obsessive reaction and searched for some common patterns in my and also other persons‘ ocd patterns. overreacting, catastrophizing (because of this random thought everything is doomed, there is no room for any positivity and I cannot see any positive traits my boyfriend has), and most common in my ocd perfectionism (everything needs to be perfect if it is not, I need to leave so I realized jup seems like the same ocd pattern I always have so I let the anxiety be in my body. If I catch myself ruminating or doing other compulsions I stop myself and choose (this is important) „it‘s okay I can choose if I want to follow this anxious/ocd thought pattern or I can let the uncertainty be present and focus on the here and now“ than I usually let my focus fall on a certain body part (I like to focus on my toes because normally I would not focus much on them) but pick whatever you feel most comfortable with -> mindfulness and at some point the anxiety/ocd will lessen what I like to do after I had such a thought: I write it done, similar to how I‘ve written it done now, even after writing this I feel better and I memorize this one intrusive thought to use it in a little ERP session when I feel better/have more ressources to actually do the work of ERP I hoped this helped a few of you✨

Is it common for OCD to manifest as a fear of being attracted to someone? I literally fear I could be attracted to kids, family members, friends, roommates, animals, and it’s so horrible. I don’t know who I am anymore, I feel like these thoughts reflect who I am, I don’t WANT to feel attracted to anyone except my long term boyfriend who I love SO much. If I really was just a normal person why would I have all these disgusting thoughts? This post could be reassurance seeking but I just feel like such a freak and I don’t even know if this is OCD. I just want to know that someone else feels this way so we can help each other to get better ?

all of my old memories are popping back up. this is starting to fuel a new theme: incest ocd. a couple years ago my parents were sleeping in the same bed as me and my brother because that was our living arrangement since we were staying at someone else’s house. my parents started doing sexual things while they were in the bed and i felt my self get aroused by them and i started touching my self. the amount of shame disgust and regret i feel isn’t even describable. this is shaking me to my core. i feel so ashamed of my self. although this was a couple years ago, i have changed. i cannot describe the amount of disgust i have for this. i am not into incest. i don’t know what i was thinking.

When I was younger, about ten, I watched porn. A lot of it, actually. Idk how it started exactly, but I was a curious kid. This led to me playing doctor with my younger sister... I'd get her to touch me (not in my privates, just the rest of my body) and we'd laugh at each others naked bodies etc. I feel terrible about this later on. Complete shit. I even made her touch my breast one night while she was sleeping because I was curious what it felt like (I saw it on porn). I stopped though. My parents are hardcore catholic and I was afraid they would find us doing it, so I freaked out. This all happened when I was 10, and I regret everything now. I brought it up to my sister a few years ago, and she said not to talk of it again. She seemed weirded out and had no memory of what happened... my mother was even brought in and asked me if I did something wrong. I think she talked to my sister too, but none of us have ever brought it up again. I cant get over it though.

so i have a question, before my real event ocd started, i would maybe get thoughts about the memory like once a month if that. after recovery, will it go back to being that way or will i always have the thought pop up

What is the difference between shyness and social anxiety ? Can anybody explain. I just had anxiety due to a thought that I may have social anxiety disorder. This happened because since I was a kid I was shy of doing certain things like speaking in front of whole class etc. And I am always shy in front of girls. I don't know why but when I talk to girls I feel shy. So I googled it and social anxiety disorder came . So I know that if a person even searches about chest pain google says it is cancer. So I don't know theater I have social anxiety disorder or it is just shyness. Please help.

Can watching a movie trigger and start sexual orientation ocd? Please comment if u had the same or similar reason sexual orientation ocd started

My ocd has randomly become so bad this past week that i cant even get dressed. I constantly feel like i have bugs on me, i have started to hit myself when i get frustrated. Its never been so bad and i have no idea what to do. Every second im on edge i cant relax. Does anyone experience this or have any advice?

Checking: any tips? My OCD is usually under control, and when it gets bad and throws up new stuff or old themes, I use a couple of methods (somatic processing and the "worry later" technique) to quickly get on top of my rumination and panic etc (I have pure O) and get back to other things. What I've realised seems to trip me up is that I want to check on my themes. Like, "it would still be bad if I was a zoophile so seeing as I haven't been obsessing about it, I should probably try to make an assessment". As soon as I check, I just encounter all the same thoughts and beliefs. Much lower anxiety, but the same trains of probably-faulty logic and "what if"s. I get through life by telling myself that if something is going to go wrong, I'll deal with it as and when it happens, and reminding myself that the worst outcomes don't need to be 100% bad or to last forever, and that I'm probably better equipped to deal with them IRL than it feels like in my brain. So I'm not totally sure what to do. It's only been extremely rare that an OCD theme has turned out to have any meaningful relationship to what ends up happening. But does anybody have suggestions about how to think problems though a normal amount without it becoming OCD? I am guessing CBT might be able to help me unpick some of my own unhelpful logic, and EMDR for some of the underlying feelings of being a bad person. It's just that having a theme you're treating feels so much like having an itch you're not allowed to scratch. I still REALLY want to know and am worried about the consequences of not knowing. In particular it's hard to make decisions in my life because I would make different choices about things depending on what's likely to happen or be true, but I have so little clarity on what actually is likely or real. That makes me end up paralysed. People talk about ACT and making the decisions you'd make as if you don't have OCD, but it seems like such a risk. A lot of my OCD is real event type stuff, and I don't want to take that advice on the assumption that all my fears will definitely never come true. I ruminate on this way too much. So yep... Anybody relate? Any advice about decision making when you have OCD?