Welcome to
the NOCD Community

questions for everyone ?: how would you rate your self-esteem? we’re you ever bullied in school? do you consider yourself open-minded? do you feel the emotions of others? would you consider your moral standards to be high? just curious some things. sending my good energy to everyone ?

I now sometimes get scared of having children in the future. Before all this OCD horribleness, I always dreamed of having 3-4 children. It seemed like such a beautiful dream and I would love that life. Now with all of this, there’s multiple things that worry me a lot. I’m scared that My children will have a higher likelihood of developing OCD since I heard that there’s increased chances of it happening from parent to child. I also sometimes deal with intrusive sexual and harm thoughts, and I don’t want that to be directed toward my children at all. I’m also scared that I’m not or won’t be mentally stable enough to have children. I’m in therapy now and doing better than I have before, but i definitely still have struggles. It makes me worry that I won’t be well enough to have children, or that whenever I become pregnant or sometime after it will cause such an intense mental turmoil that I will have a mental breakdown and spiral. It makes me very frustrated because I want to feel and think the way I did before all of this messed me up. To dream of a beautiful family and not have these fears come and not to have these OCD themes come and create excuses for different fears.

If someone could respond to this then that would be great I think I have HOCD, this started about a year ago after I left college and just after college I become lonely and depressed however I was talking to girl online who I got really close to and really liked her and then she later became not interested and this has happened with a lot girls which I feel has has an affect on me and this made more lonely, depressed. My brother is the same and always get depressed because we are both socially awkward and want girls badly, make jokes like might be gay because girl don’t like us you know banta and one night it sunk in and I thought what if I am and from then until now all I do is get anxiety everyday on google with fail, looking for answers on the same form is same video, talking to therapist which they say ocd, paying money out looking for help, getting civics there true and I want it and really do not, still like girl but in public I see a guy I walks ask am I attracted to him and have anxiety, can’t watch certain programm on tv, gronal response if they are and dreams that I wake up and feel like I’m have a panic attack even at work where I should be working I’m on google sneakily. I’m talking to a girl and really like her and fancy her but then I get things like do I fancy her, am I lying but I dot feel Like I am pls help

How crazy the thoughts can be when you are dealing with ocd???.. Like rn i can see a photo of an lesbian cop and be scared of it...(im a boy) At this point i dont even know what im scared of to do erp for it!! Like im getting crazy stupid thoughts... Any tips on how to deal with crazy unreal thoughts??...

How do I talk to my mom about real event ocd that involves my sister? I'm scared she'll call me a rapist, or think I am one

Real Event OCD TW About that terrible sexual assault event (maybe this is a strong word, but I dont know if only "disrespect" or "physical harm" would be better) that I already post here. So as I know for now, I crealy knew that what I was doing was wrong and that I deserve punishment, even this being already forgiven and forgotten. As more day passes and as I see more news and people talking about this kind of subject, more I go into a suicidal hole again. My arm is injured due to self harm, as I believe I deserve to suffer and never be happy.

A few years ago I made the mistake of talking about my real event ocd with my little sister, the one I believe I hurt in the past. She said she doesn't remember what happened, and looked freaked out. She didnt wanna talk about it at all. Now it's been two years and I wanna bring it up again but I'm afraid it'll go the same as it did before. The only way I can see around this is by going to my mom again. She talked to my sister when it all went down because I was crying over how she'll never love me again, but she talked to her alone. Idk about what. I need to know. I need to know if I hurt her or not but she doesnt remember what happened and I read about these child on child sexual assault victims who remember when they're older and I'm afraid that's the case. Shes only 15 now and I'm 18, so idk.

I had the worst what if moment or stating it as a fact. If anyone in the comments is okay with giving me advice that would be helpful!! I’ll just tell that person what is was. I don’t want to seek for reassurance

Having a really bad day today. I’ve had moments when I think I’m just going to accept I’m gay and that I’m in denial and this relieves my anxiety for about 10 minutes and then I start crying because I don’t really want that. Has anyone found that their OCD has manipulated memories of when they were young? Like maybe they mean I was gay? I had a thought yesterday were I was like did I find my mums body arousing when I was a kid, does that mean I’m gay. ITS TERRIFYING ME. My OCD makes me feel like I’m living a lie and I just need accept that I’m gay. I’ve now lost all attraction to men and think I only find women attractive :( Does anyone’s OCD makes them want to act impulsively, like I’m just going to tell everyone I’m bisexual and break up with my boyfriend in hope that these anxieties will go away. But I don’t want that, I want to be with my boyfriend, I want to feel connected to him again. Also is anyone petrified that these thoughts will come back in future even if they get over them now? I have this horrible image of me getting over this, being fine and then having children and getting triggered and then realising I’m gay and having to come out. It makes me so scared, and that I should come out as gay now and I’ll be happy. Also did anyone do any sexual exploration as a young kid, obviously not knowing what it meant at the time and feel this must make them gay as they think they remember enjoying it? I was like 5/6 and i bully myself all the time about it. Does anyone test themselves in public or when watching a film? Like I see if I’m turned on by women and get that feeling and I can’t work out if I do or if it’s just because I’m focusing attention their. But also I look at men now and feel nothing. Do people every wonder if HOCD is even real? Do people ever get over OCD? Literally OCD is slowly ruining my life and I just want to give up.

Any Muslims with religious OCD here. Would like to know what you guys are doing on your own to overcome anxiety regarding religion (Islam) and how do you feel better when suffering high anxiety?

Let’s share our tips for living with an open / unanswered question! For me, the open question I live with is “how do I know I’m not / don’t be attracted to (insert taboo content)?”

my thoughts feel so real i feel numb:(

I was once quite a toxic friend to a girl I’m not really close to anymore. Looking back I did little things that were just so unkind. I even picked on her insecurities in a discrete way. To be honest, I don’t think she ever really realised or cared. I hope. At the time, I guess it must’ve been due to jealousy or something. I don’t even know. She’d annoy me but I don’t think I ever knew why for sure. That’s partly why I think I detached myself from the friendship. But I worry she blamed herself. But now I’m just worried about it. I don’t want to be like that with my current friends. I don’t want to let my insecurities and envy get in the way. I don’t want to treat people in that way. But I’m finding it hard to accept that I CAN change and I CAN be a good friend. I’m scared I am unable to care for friends. What I did was wrong but I fear being like that again. So is it possible to combat my inner emotions like jealousy to prevent these things? If anyone has any advice it’d mean a lot :)

Anyone know the positive side of having ocd? What’s the difference between a non ocd brain and a ocd one

TW: Potential CSA. I just want to know if it counts, when I was 6/7 my cousin who was maybe 8 would force me to do things I was uncomfortable with and he touched me in places, more than once and I remember saying no multiple times. The thing is, I know this traumatised me because I started getting intrusive thoughts after this and they were of a sexual nature and religious nature (sometimes the 2 combined) and I had to do compulsions like shutting doors and praying to every religious photo in the room. I also gained a lot of weight after and still have food issues. Our families fell out and I havent seen him since (I'm 22 now). My mum knew about this because I would confess that and these thoughts to her. But I think she justblamed bad parenting on his mums part and that was it. I hate him a lot for it. ALOT. It makes me feel sick he did it but at the same time I dont know if my situation is real enough to be considered as abuse as he was also a child. I just got sent a picture of him with his girlfriend and it made me sick seeing him, and seeing his face. I'm even more angry because I feel that hes the reason I still suffer with intrusive thoughts today as what he did is what triggered it and while I'm mentally ill and my life is falling apart, he is happy and soon to be married and just getting on with life. Are my feelings correct? Should I be allowed to feel this way?

Are you ever afraid that you're spoiled? Like I asked my dad for some expensive art supplies and he said yes and now I feel guilty y even tho he said yes of course Without even considering it

Has anyone taken buspar for period anxiety? (Aka the ladies) haha

i got my hocd(homo ocd) awaken 4 days ago and i wasnt able to eat and have fun from that day.... I wanted to go too therapy but im from iran and there is no sexual ocd therapy and for online therapy i cant pay because im only 15... And btw... Is that okay to think about pedophile ocd in 15-16age?

Pocd doesn't stop. I'm crying about de CP I saw in Twitter, I feel so gross. It is so horrible I wish I had never seen that. I wish I hadn't clicked on it to report it. You can't cry and feel gross about something you are into right??? I feel like if this is pocd it's never gonna leave me alone. A few weeks ago I was scared about that I liked the weird hallucination I had about the girl I saw in that Twitter page when I was daydreaming about my boyfriend and was already like,, really horny. I woke up and I felt even more turned on about it then when I was thinking about my boyfriend but now I think of it and I think it wasn't the girl because I think of her alone and just cry. And if I were given the chance I would NOT do that so that calms me down not even if it wasn't illegal to do that... It just feels like it's "something" to fuck like I can feel the same about idk fucking a cat because it's sex and I don't fucking like animals. So... I should be fine right... My mom still says it's normal and that I'm okay and that I'm just a really horny teenager but what if I get turned on by a kid a few years from now??? That could happen. I can't breathe and this feeling of puking at any moment remains and every time I'm left alone with my thoughts I feel horrible and can't stop thinking about this. I wouldn't ever harm a child like those men in those videos did, it makes me cry I keep seeing the faces of the children and I'm so mad. Please someone help.

I was good for a couple days then today it’s been bad. I can’t tell if it’s real anymore, ugh. It feels real but I don’t want to date girls I swear. I HATE THIS. It’s always like “i don’t want to date girls. Well what if you do?” Like why?