Welcome to
the NOCD Community

hi everyone. really seeking just some compassion and understanding right now from people who understand what it’s like. I think yesterday I truly hit one of my lowest points struggling with OCD and anxiety, and I let myself sit in the moment which was anything but productive. my intrusive thoughts were getting worse and worse post break up with my now ex boyfriend who was open about his self harm in the end of our relationship which caused me intense stress and worry. constantly, for the past few weeks I’ve been concerned that I’d get the call that he killed himself. I hadn’t heard from him in a week or so, and last night I acted on my intrusive thoughts for the first time in a very very very long time. it hurt, not physically, but emotionally because the dark things I think were coming to life because everything I’d ever overthink about actually came true. this morning, I woke up and was thinking about how the world keeps going without me and I got overwhelmed thinking about the fact that I couldn’t get myself under control. I ditched the plan I had to not talk to my ex unless he reached out to me because of the point I was at, and it ended poorly. I expected at least some compassion because he knows me, but I was just met with anger towards me and he blocked me. I know I made a mistake, but my thoughts have gotten out of control and I am completely physically drained from my anxiety. I’m frustrated that I keep ruining things around me. I’ve already made an appointment with a therapist (the earliest I could get was in 2 weeks), but I’m not sure what to do in the meantime. I’m so exhausted from my thoughts alone and am out of ideas.

Fun new obsession! I worked under a TA who I thought was super hot. I was happily committed to my now husband, but at the time I still harbored a lot of attraction toward this man, to the point of occasionally fantasizing about him. I felt awful about it then and I feel bad about it now. I’m trying to rack my brain and make sure nothing inappropriate ever happened, I can remember hoping he thought I looked good and wanting him to think I was funny but I never did anything besides my work when I was with him. I’m convinced this makes me a bad person or even worse, that I’m destined to cheat on my husband. Other instances happened when I was drunk, never to the point of cheating thank god, but flirtations with other men. This hasn’t happened since I was a freshman in college as I stopped heavily drinking and realized how much I needed to work to be the best version of myself. I constantly feel guilty, like I need to atone for what happened. This is almost worse than the crippling HOCD I’ve been fighting. Please help❤️ and thanks if you made it this far lol

I don’t get to have real love I don’t think. Something feels off yet again, clearly the ones who claim it’s real, lie for social media appearance! Men never seem genuine, not to me anyway, either it’s not real or I’m not worthy

Hello everybody. Sometimes i go through a very serious and discomforting ocd episode. The anxity is so much that i think i cant take it anymore. I cant believe im alive because the pain is sooooooo much. The anxity is so hard that i wish to die. I really dont mean that never even tried to. Just the pain is soooo much. Like 10 from 10.And it makes me cry. I think my body cant handle that pain anymore. Like this pain is beyond my ability to survive. At that times i wish to die rather than living like this. Maybe i should not do the compulsion. But most of the times ocd wins in this situation.

Can intrusive thoughts or just anxiety be on family members?

Looks like I was wrong about my sexuality besides the OCD. I am likely a febfem. I've remembered I had some attraction to some men before the OCD and I know it's not a false memory. I'm sad because I would absolutely never date a man and would absolutely never be happy with one. But I guess I'm still attracted to them. I'm really sad, but I have to accept it. Thank you all.

I ask God over and over about something, hoping to hear back from Him with a word or picture. I will ask and ask and ask again. For example, I will pray- 'Jesus what does it mean to rest in you?' Then I will wait a few seconds, and ask again up to 8-10 times, changing the words in hope that works better. I get more and more upset and distressed as the time goes on. I feel it is my fault that I can't hear anything back, that I must not be close enough to God and not spending enough time with Him. I don't have an answer to my own post or question.. I just hope perhaps someone might be able to see the wood from the trees in my post and help me? ? Thank you NOCD community?

I always considered myself a heterosexual woman but these days I'm having doubts that I'm a homosexual or bisexual because i used to look at pictures of nude girls or girls in bikinis and kind of felt aroused.But I never felt anything sexual towards other woman or never fantasised about them. I have a boyfriend whom i love so much and i want to marry him. I am scared that because i used to look at that kind of pics I'm a lesbian and i will not be able to love him like before. I am also suffering through relationship ocd which is even making this tough for me. I don't want to lose him.

So I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, (I’m a minor) but I have a feeling I might have it. I do have ADHD and have been medicated since 1st grade (I’m in 10th grade now). What can I do to help some of my urges? Here are my symptoms: -I pick at my skin. It’s pretty bad and it is getting out of hand. I started with the acne on my face, but that quickly spread to my chest, arms, legs, and now my stomach. I can’t wear a tank top outside and I take up a lot of my day picking. I have tried a lot of things like wearing clothes that cover up the affected areas and fidget toys, but I can’t stop. This is my worst symptom. -I can’t help but feel awful if my room is not organized or if items aren’t placed strategically, but when they aren’t I can’t find the energy to fix it. It never leaves my mind and gives me bad anxiety. -I always feel like I’m doing something wrong and tend to replay anything that happened when I talk or hang out with someone. This is especially bad after a day of school. I can’t help it, it like takes over my mind. -I kinda pull out my hair. It falls out naturally and nowadays I try to get as much of the hair out as possible. It’s kinda become a new obsession. It’s naturally wavy and I have a lot of it, so I never brushed it, but I am trying to start brushing it again but that just encourages it more. -my go to stress habit when I can’t pick at my skin is to run my nails through my eyebrows and get as much of the oils, skin, or eyebrow hairs out as possible without making them noticeable. -If anything is out of sort, like on a presentation if a picture and word bubble is not in perfect position to match everything else, I get really anxious. If I’m not walking in a certain way or my pants aren’t high-waisted, I get really anxious and will not be able to function. It’s more like if everything isn’t perfect then I get bad anxiety. If you have any suggestions for trying to help these habits, mostly the skin picking, please let me know ASAP.

People on tik Tok rly saying OCD is a blessing for some people ??? and people are like “I have ocd and this joke doesn’t offend me” or “you’re all making a big deal out of nothing” like people don’t understand ocd in the slightest I’m so tired. If they heard ocd for some is the fear of being a pedophile, or stabbing ppl with knives, or any taboo subject at all maybe they’d think differently. But knowing these types of people if they actually heard what ocd really entails they’d probably be judgmental. Because people are jerks.

Are people in their 20s more prone to develop ocd and other confusion regarding their identiy?

Hi guys, I know this question may sound weird, and I apologise if it so or if you find it offensive in any way, but is anyone here with POCD who lives with their children or younger siblings and struggles a lot, especially if you are really close to each other, and often quite affectionate as well? I live with a younger brother, he's 8 years old, and he is really bonded to me. Because of that he really loves to be affectionate with me every single day. Well, I don't mind that, I find that really sweet, and because I always wanted a sibling I appreciate that he likes spending time with me and that he sees me as a caring sister (well, not always but you know what I mean). Due to my POCD I'm rarely enjoying the moments I spent with him. Honestly, I spend more time analysing my thoughts and sensations, or if I have any urge to harm him in any way, than having fun. The current problem I'm dealing with is that I think I've abused him. I know it's sounds terrifying, and there is a part of me that doesn't want to agree with this statement, but there were moments, including one yesterday, when I impulsively kissed him after having a combination between thoughts, feelings and sensations. I don't know why I keep doing it. I really don't want to harm my brother (or any other child!). But weird moments like this happen, and I'm tired of them. I feel like a true monster and I don't know how to move on. I've never seen people having this issue, so this probably means I'm evil and an abuser. I really want to go to the police and confess, I have this immense urge to do so. I'm really sorry if you find this post disturbing. I promise that's not my intention.

So, I haven’t been diagnosed with OCD, but over the past year I’ve developed something that seems very much like it. It might be OCD, but I don’t know. I have very strong urges to move my body in certain ways or touch certain things in certain patterns or an amount of times. An example of this is when I’m typing on a real keyboard I repeatedly hit buttons that I don’t need to hit because I almost constantly have the random urge to. I get a very strong tingling sensation inside of my body that almost hurts when I resist the urge. I don’t have any emotional parts of OCD, I don’t really worry about things or have anxiety very much. I used to have anxiety, but this has kind of replaced that. There are a few people in my family with symptoms of Tourette’s, I’m not sure if it’s full on or not, so my situation may have been influenced by that. Any advice/help is greatly appreciated!

i need help, if ANYONE can give me guidance PLEASE. I NEED IT. im a minor, i cannot tell my parents about these intrusive thoughts im having, so i cant get a therapist, nor can i get diagnosed. im scared i am a pedophile. i experienced a groinal feeling a couple days ago when i saw a picture of a little kid. I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS A KID AT FIRST, but i freaked out. i freaked you guys. i even unfollowed the account i saw the picture of the young cchild on. im so scared that i am a pedophile. i cant live like this. what if i am but im i denial? i cant do it. ive experienced something like this before. i had a thought and obsessed about it about it. but i even think back, what if i wasnt obsessing? i was constantly online looking for answer for the thought. i was constantly confessing the thought to my ex (the thoughts were about him) and im just terrified. AND THEN, I HAVE THOUGHTS THAT SAY “you are a p*do and thats okay” BUT I DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT. I DONT WANT TO THINK LIKE THAT. i just want to be a normal teen. i wanna be worry free. i dont want to be a pedo. i wannt be happy. please any guidance you can give me i need it. does it sound like POCD to the people who have experienced OCD? or am i in denial. i cant live with myself being a pedo.

hi.. i really need to breathe so i might as well just type everything here. when i was in 7th grade, i had this moment where i thought i had liked a girl. we were really close and we did everything together. in my friend group, there were 2 girls who were dating eachother. i respected them si de they were my friends but i really didn’t seem myself w girls. and that’s when it hit me. i thought i liked this girl n i was curious, when in reality i wanted to be her friend. i told her n we went along w it. but, i couldn’t take it anymore tbh. it felt foreign and sick to me since ive always been attracted to boys. anyways, that lasted a day because i didn’t like it. now my hocd is making things worse, showing me how this is proof that i’m bisexual. i bet that counts as experimenting but.. i didn’t like it. my mind keeps telling me that i enjoyed that even though it was 5 years ago. i was a little kid. after that, all my crushes have been boys n i basically forgot about everything that happened because the past doesn’t define me. i was a curious 12 year old girl, who wanted to know how it felt like and didn’t like it. tbh.. it makes me sick to think that i was open to that. i’m a lgbt supporter but i don’t see myself like that. i want to get married to a guy, be with a guy, so everything w a guy.. not w a girl. i wish that my brain would stop using this as an excuse that i am truly bisexual.. when i’m not. it makes me cry so fucking much. i want to go back to before quarantine. seeing myself w a girl now makes me feel disgusted and I DONT WANT IT! i literally can’t do this anymore. i wish i could get in a car crash and get amnesia or something... i would do ANYTHING to forget about these thoughts n to not be bi. something that also triggers me is that the girl i experimented w is a lesbian now.. please someone help me. i was doing so well and i can’t even bear to look at myself. i don’t want to be bi. i want to be straight:(

What do I do if I get intrusive thoughts during sex? I feel like this is emotionally scarring me. Right now when I get intrusive thoughts the anxiety makes me more aroused (or maybe I'm in denial)and it makes me want to stop having sex all together because I feel like I'm being violated by my own brain. I dont like the thoughts so don't tell me that I should like them, that's like telling a sexual abuse victim to try to appreciate their abuse.

Idk if this is possible but with HOCD I’ve lost my attraction and feelings for girls is this possible or not? I’m super duper worried about this

in need of a distraction. comment your favourite film :)

Soooo I scheduled a call with an NOCD therapist to talk about therapy. I’ve NEVER told a therapist or really anyone in full detail my thoughts and I’m excited. I feel like I can deal with the anxiety I just really hope the results are life changing. I’m definately willing to take the plunge and do the work. How would you describe life post erp or ocd therapy?

I’m really nervous to do my new ERP exercise. I had an appointment with my therapist today and told her how I’m dealing with these intrusive thoughts about my mom that keep wanting me to look down at her chest or something like I have to keep saying “no I don’t wanna do that” and it’s been stressing me out a lot and making it hard to talk and be around her because these thoughts come in. My therapist said for an ERP that I should start with looking at pictures of my mom and purposely look at her chest in these pictures in order to conquer this fear and move past it. When I’m able to deal with that she said to do it in person. I know I have to do it do finally get over this issue but I’m so nervous to do so that I feel nauseous, like I keep thinking “what kinda of psycho would purposely stare at their mom’s chest??” I know it’s the OCD making this an issue in the first place tho but still. Any encouraging words would be helpful :(