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anyone else feel like they’d be happier if they just lived in a mental hospital or something?

Hi people! Okay so I got this app back almost after a month after kind of beating homosexual ocd. I personally realized something very great about myself and I honestly couldn't be more content. I still have it but it doesn't greatly affect me since now I finally have a boyfriend. Ever since I started a relationship with him, my anxiety and urges to cry have increased. I get these awful thoughts like -what if he leaves you?- -what if he finds a girl prettier than you?- -he is lying just like your previous bf, he will leave you within a month- -you will never last with and only ruin him and his mental health- -Do you really like him? Are you forcing yourself because he confessed to you first?- -you won't defos end up with him- -he is only treating you nice for his own benefit- -he might leave you like the ASD guys you hard about- These are a few I've gotten and Idk if I've developed the relationship theme. For the past few days I've been crying at the thoughts because ik there's an uncertainty and that I might ruin him with my anxiety, OCD and BDD. He has Asperger's and I try my best to not directly tell him about my mental health. I really don't want to stress him with my problems. My thoughts aren't normallu about cheating on him but more on if he likes me truly and if we will ever last I've been reassuring myself a lot and I'm also getting triggered by various things. I'm planning to do ACT for all of this so I hope that helps. Thank you for coming to my rant. I really hope you guys get better. Love y'all ?

Does anyone on here have problems with just intrusive feelings? Like anxiety really bad and you don't necessarily know why you're feeling anxiety. You just know it's super intense. Almost like OCD has given up the obsession. And now you're just feeling anxiety all the time. Any suggestions on how to cope with this? I feel I'm at wits end. Cuz I don't know how to deal with all the tricks that's being handed to me. Please. If you have some good suggestions on how to deal with just the anxiety. Thanks in advance. I tried to observe the feelings and sit with just the feeling of anxiety. But it seems to last so long. I don't know what to do. All day it lasts.

Real Event OCD TW Please help me I dont want to self harm myself As I read an article about sibling abuse I was talking with a guy on tiwtch while I am streaming. I talked about what I did when I was younger with my sister. I abused my older sister as far as I remember. But my mom says : you did nothing and even if you did its in the past. My sister has forgiven me but I cant. I cant even tell what is true or false. I am scared of myself. I hate myself and I want to hurt myself again as self punishment. I will call my suicide hotline in my country its 188 so no need to worry. Somebody help me.

Saw a post about saying stop dehumanizing Hitler just so you can reassurance yourself normal people aren't capable of doing terrible things. This triggered me bad, because of my harm thoughts. I don't want to be anything terrible especially someone like him. My head feels so foggy from thinking

My head has been spinning and it's worse rn. Ive been trying to go vegan/ vegetarian and looked up how to be vegan if you have a dog who eats meat. And it had like two sides, some said switch to vegan dog food to stop farm animal suffering and then others said they let their dogs eat dog food because they are meat eaters. I'm so confused on what to do, my head feels so foggy and my head is racing

Just a quick anxiety episode: I just posted some hw for a psychology class and I think I did a pretty good job. Its been 5 yrs of college and I know my brain is burned out at this time & my expression has been okay at most. I dont ever care about 'likes' or replies but i looked to see how many people commented on my assignment. None. I posted my hw earlier & we all have to reply to 2 others in the class. Then i look over at another student's work and its nicely formated & neat. 4 replies. Suddenly, this anxiety kicks in....her's is better than mine......im not enough....my work is not enough......im not enough.....I know for SURE how to become a better writer. I know how to better my abilities, I know how they've included examples and the text and I know im stressed with finals but this feeling under my rib cage is soft but there. I think, just deep down inside.....whwn faced with my best or 90%, somehow, someway, i dont ever feel adequate.

At this point I feel like it's not OCD. I'm sure I'm bisexual in denial but I cannot accept it. Like my attraction to men has made me semi-even happy at one point and I actually seem to now like the idea of being with a specific guy whereas I hate being with any other guy. And some guys make my doubt my claim of I would never be happy with a man. My mind is saying I only do not want to marry a guy because that's lowkey "basic" and I hate it. I hate saying I'm attracted to men, I hate saying that I am aroused by them, I hate saying that I maybe wouldn't mind having sex with them and maybe even enjoy it despite not being imagine a sexual scenario with a guy that isn't rape, I hate saying that I wanted to kiss a guy. It feels like I'm lying, that this is not me, I would never say those things. And at the back of my mind I feel like homosexuality is my reality. But that's denial. The more I look at those guys I am attracted or was attracted to the more I hate them. And yet, I am not a lesbian. I still do not feel like removing it all from my life. I do not want to drop something that felt so true, satisfying to me but I will have to. It just will take time to finally stop once and for all. I just despise the implication that I could ever be even remotely, 0.1% interested in a guy because it doesn't feel true and yet it is. I only ate one cookie the entire day today. I do not want to be bisexual. I hate being bisexual. I do not want the association that I like men. Even if I do not have to ever be with them I do not like the label. At all. I need help.

Hello. It's been two years since I lost my aesthetic attraction to women almost entirely (let's say 90%). My psychiatrist tells me that it will come back as it was before, I read testimonies, talked with people who said the same thing. I'm not really afraid that it won't come back like before, I almost don't test myself anymore (in two weeks, it must have happened twice on an actress I thought was beautiful, and no aesthetic attraction came back, I found her ugly :c). I guess nothing comes back because I'm under some kind of pressure? After all I want it to come back as before...  I'm not thinking consciously about the loss of aesthetic attraction, but I know I'm thinking about it in the same time I do something. I'm not afraid anymore of turning gay, I know it's not the case. My question are these: How do you get rid of that pressure? How do you take the pressure off? I want my life back, my life where I could spend days looking at girls and finding them pretty... I miss it so much.

is it true that no amount of anxiety can change the future?

A year ago I made a paper about how I overcome some symptoms of HOCD, I hope it will help some people: I made this paper to help people overcome their symptoms as I was able to do. So it will be a list of my symptoms and solutions that have worked for me to overcome them. Doubts : Not paying attention to it they aren't legit doubts, it's OCD. A legit doubt will be accompanied by a true desire.Groinal responses : Not paying attention to it, there is no desire, so it's OCD.False attraction : Not paying attention to it, there is no desire, so it's OCD.Intrusives thoughts/images : Not paying attention to it, there is no desire, so it's OCD.Testing your sexual orientation in your head (by scenarios or other things) : Stop doing it, it will not work.Testing your reactions about member of the not desired sex : Stop doing it. The more you test, the more likely you are to have a reaction, not because you are excited but because you focus on the genital area, it is worse if you check physically.Fear of becoming gay : Firstly, not paying attention to it, there is no desire of men, so it's OCD. Secondly, a bit of education, sexual orientation can't changes overtime. I repeat : SEXUAL ORIENTATION CAN'T CHANGES OVERTIME. On the other hand, the sexual identity can change. Let me explain :  Sexual orientation is defined as a physical, sexual, emotional and romantic attraction to people of one or more particular sexes or genders. This is the sexual orientation. So, if you are a man attracted to women, you're straight. That's your sexual orientation. And you will choose to define yourself as heterosexual: it is your sexual identity. Let's keep this example of a man but let's change it a little. This man has never liked girls, has always had his eyes on boys, but defines himself as heterosexual. Is it straight? No, but it will define itself as such. Then one day, he will realize that he is using the wrong term and will choose to use another term: gay. Has he changed his sexual orientation? No, he just changed labels. This is called sexual fluidity. When people tell you that sexuality is fluid, they talk about it.Fear of being so deeply in denial that you won't know it: Not paying attention: it's not possible. And you're going to tell me: but you didn't mention anxiety? I didn't mention it because it's the anxiety that produces it. Anxiety produces doubts and symptoms. We have to get rid of it first to make things better. After a while, the symptoms no longer bother us and gradually they disappear. You may wonder why I didn't mention any other symptoms:  First because these are the most frequent cases I have had, and second because each case is different. I repeat: EVERY CASE IS DIFFERENT! And this is a list of thing I was going through: rentry.co/HOCDSymptoms

Today is a really difficult today. Maybe it doesn't seem so to other people, but it's extremely difficult for me. I feel like I'm trying to sober myself up after a really long and crazy night. I woke up with a great disgust and shame, and I can't stop analysing my feelings and thoughts. For those who don't know, last night I experienced an urge to hurt my younger brother while he was asleep in my room. The most frightening part is that it felt like I really wanted to do it. Of course, he is fine, I would never hurt him. A couple of days ago I thought I could do it but I was so wrong. I'm back at it. All I want is to stay in bed and face noone. I'm a terrible human being. A terrible sister. Daughter. And friend. Thanks to myself for ruining my life.

Boy am I going through it at the moment! I have been struggling tremendously with my ROCD. Me and my boyfriend have been through hell and back this quarantine. My OCD completely kicked in full force and my relationship just completely has been effected to the max. At times I get scared it permanently got damaged and can’t be fixed. My boyfriend and I struggled with about 5 deaths this quarantine. One being his bestfriend along with 3 other friends and I lost an uncle. We’ve been struggling both with our mental health, money, jobs, communication, etc. To make things worse his anxiety went up the same time my OCD went through a major spike and that completely took us through a whirl wind. This is also his first real relationship so there’s certain things that we bump heads on because he’s just learning or getting used to. This is my first healthy relationship so it triggers the hell out of my ROCD. At times it feels like he’s almost manipulating me (my obsession at the moment) because he’s such a nice person to everyone and tries to make everyone happy and I’m just so used to seeing on social media and friends around me that them being nice to everyone is just weird and have a bad meaning behind it. He likes complimenting people to uplift them and we talked about it today a bit more and he told me he just always wants people to feel good when he sees they’re down because he never had that growing up and he said he knows how it feels so he always tries to be nice to everyone but I’ve just dealt with so much manipulation and exes that flirted with everyone that to me it seems so much like a threat ( I’m actually freaking out as I type this). He also at times misunderstands what I say and I misunderstand what he says because details get left unsaid. For example, today we also talked about how he wishes we could backtrack and start fresh and that completely set me off. I took it the wrong way and started spiraling. I saw it as if he regretted our relationship up to that point and that he disliked how we were doing things at the moment and that our foundation wasn’t stable enough. He ended up later on explaining to me that he meant it as in he wished to just treat me way better than what he initially started with. He said he felt he only gave me half of what he was capable of and that he wished to give me more. He said he only felt he gave me half of what he was capable of because he felt we moved too fast, he was just so excited about his first relationship that he wanted to do everything right away. I then told him he could still do that without starting from the beginning. We both agreed on that but my mind remained on the negative thoughts like always. I just view everything negative and I know it’s not my fault I just can’t help it. We’ve been dating close to 8 months now but it feels like more with everything we’ve been through already. I see it in a positive way though, I know mostly anything wont get in the way of us anymore. We’ve decided to just let go of past traumas and move forward.

I am third year Med student and due to OCD I AM notable to focus on my studies Please guide me?

I can’t no matter how much I try to ignore the thoughts it doesn’t go away wtf am I gonna do ???? I feel okay here and there but it’s ALWAYS there first thing when I wake up these dangerous harm killer thoughts

Okay, so I have a problem. I think my cousin is a sociopath, and it worries me cause she says that she wouldn't care if anyone died, and I understand that because it's not her fault she cant care. But shes admitted to manipulating people to get what she wants-- like using their emotion, usually pity. And she told me to remember shes not a good person, and that's for my own safety. So now I'm worried. I asked if I should set boundaries for myself, and she said if i want, but i dont know what those boundaries should be? She usually just vents to me about her problems and i don't want her to stop doing that but i also dont want to get manipulated. My paranoia is just going nuts, especially since she'll sometimes talk about death and murder so nonchalantly-- but I dont think that's something she'd do. But what do I do? I cant tell anyone else about it because I told her I'd keep it a secret. At least shes trying to fund a therapist, but in the meantime, I dont want to be a replacement for one.

Hi. My boyfriend of 2 & a half years broke up with me two days ago. It was very uncalled for and I don’t wanna get into it. There were no major problems in our relationship but we did lack a bit of communication skills. I’ve been crying for those two day’s straight, and today in the morning. Then I randomly came across a video on manifestation on tik tok (I didn’t look for it, it was on my “for you” page) & there were others on how to get your ex back and the number one thing it said is to stay positive and continue to think that we’re still together & that he loves me & not to cry because it negative etc etc. Ever since I read that I can’t cry anymore. So now my ocd is kicking in on why I’m not crying anymore & don’t feel incredibly sad, even though I think it’s because I have hope we’ll get back together. Also, my ocd is telling me I wanna be single and experience “new people” meanwhile I know I love him and want him in my future. Past ocd like my fear of flirting & cheating is coming up, and it’s telling me that’s what I wanted all along. I’m just confused and want ocd to leave me alone during this hard time. I’m hoping for the best for him and I. I love him.

OCD photography Hello, Perharps I have OCD and type Perfectionism. I always liked photography and taking many photos. From March, April I was In cycle of urge to take photos and videos and I mean many variants of them. It was my collection of game consoles and games. I taked a lot of photos and too selfies with something changing on desk table where it was. Few times I thought that OK, everything is good I have all. I put it in the closet and I got an idea again doing this. I do not wanted to do this, I wanted pause. I wanted to plan what to do next time, what photo or video of that collection. Month ago I fall in cycle of another. I taked photos of my new camouflage shoes collection. It took me few days, I spend 7 hours doing this and I thought about it and I feel anxiety before this. I felt it on heart. I was taked many variants and tell myself it is enought but next day I was again doing this and again tell myself it is enought. I wanted to do this again but my mother by the time rearranged furniture in living room. And i do not want to have bad memories with that room. I hope it ended because I told my mind that will be okay but I again wanted to do more. I had this last year on summer I was taking photos and videos of my new living room in first floor in house. It was only furniture there and nothing more. I soend a lot of time doing this. Before I too had cycles but it was shorter and I do not know that something is with me. I am asking myself what happened to me

I feel so lonely and helpless. With transitioning from high school to college, I’ve completely lost touch of my old friend group. I haven’t really established a new friend group yet. I don’t go to therapy anymore because my mom dislikes my therapist. My mom refuses to accept any of the diagnosis or what my therapist has to say, so I haven’t seen her in months. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never have. My family doesn’t care. I receive no support with my mental health sometimes not even my physical health. I’m always assumed to be over reacting, so even when I’m in pain they just get mad at me and tell me to get over it. I just don’t have anyone. I don’t know what to do. My OCD is starting to get bad again and recently I hurt my neck. I talked to my mom, dad, and sister about it. The general response was stop crying that doesn’t help, maybe if you weren’t so lazy, just put heat on it. I know crying doesn’t help, but it’s my response to my pain. Leave me alone. I’m in so much physical and emotional pain with no one to support me.

Hi guys, I've got a dilemma at the moment (well, I've got lots of them but this one is currently the most triggering and upsetting), and I would like to ask for your help. I would like to apologise beforehand for any distressing details and for the post being so long. Thank you in advance for any help! Okay, here goes: my brother likes to sleep in my room (he falls asleep and then I take him in his room because I'm too scared to sleep with him in the same bed). Just a few minutes ago he asked me with he can sleep there tonight. Initially I said 'no', but after a lot of begging from him I changed my mind and said 'yes'. Well, here goes my fear. I said 'no' because I'm really, really scared that I'll want to touch him in an inappropriate way while he's asleep. (I'm really sorry! I feel disgusting foe sharing this.) While I was having the thought, I felt like I was having a moment of revelation, and by that I mean that it felt that I actually wanted to do it (to hurt my brother). I can't really describe the feeling, but it was sort of: 'This is it! This is the true me! I wouldn't mind doing it.' (Ew!) My stomach dropped and my body went in a sort of paralysis for a few seconds. It was so weird! But it truly felt like I wanted to harm him. And the worst part, it still feels like I want to. I'm really scared to let my brother sleep in my room. I really don't want him to. I really don't! But I've promised this to him for so long, and been postponing it for days. He got really upset when I said 'no', and it makes me feel really bad because I think he feels ignored. That's why I said 'yes'. I'm in the UK and it's half 9 here. My brother will want to go to bed soon. And I'm so terrified that I can't even express it in words. Something's going in my body and I can't really understand what. It's fear mixed with terror and uncertainty. But the worst thing of all is the doubt - the doubt over whether I want to act on my thoughts and harm my brother or all this being just another game of my OCD. I know I should try and use the SOS tool but I'm to anxious for that. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do from here. I really don't.