- Date posted
- 5y
Almost 6hrs of ERP and my anxiety is lowered but still not enough.
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working to conquer OCD
Almost 6hrs of ERP and my anxiety is lowered but still not enough.
I am so scared I won’t be able to kiss or make love to my puddin again..!! 😭😭😭 is my relationship really gonna end! Bc I feel like I really don’t wanna do anything like that with him again... 😭😭 bc it feels like I don’t wanna do that with him anymore when I want to.. 😭😭
I have this disturbing terrible thought that I can't seem to shake any tips on how I can maybe overcome this? I'm trying to stay positive but the guilt and shame likes to take over 😔
Can ocd lead to depersonalization? This question is causing me anxiety. Because my ocd started last year. And sometimes it is worse and sometimes it is under control. I have never felt any of it's symptom. I didn't even know what it was. But as soon as I read about it I thought what if I have it. It is really hard to not think about it. In depersonalization a person fells that things around him are not real Or they are in a movie. I never felt anything like that. I know everything is real but iam stressing about it. Can someone tell how it feels like?
What to do when your mom thinks your thoughts are real that they really do mean you are something that you know deep down with all your heart that you are not. Last night she just kept calling me what I fear and that it's not OCD that it's just cleaning and checking. I feel so misunderstood and scared. I told her I wanted help and for her to just look it up that it's a actual thing. I don't know what to do. She doesn't understand that I don't want any of this I never wanted this. All she could say is that I'm going to end up in the Looney bin and that a psychiatrist would just label me. I need help 😭
Im freaking out rn, i searched «How to Know If ur lesbian» and most of What stood there was similar to me, and many of them said that they thought they liked boys but when they Got to experience boys they found out they didnt like them after all, and What If the same thing happens to me. Im so scared because Many of them Also said they were scared of being gay but then overtime Got used to it. Im literally so anxious rn
My partner has anxiety about driving so he doesn’t drive. People judge him on that a lot and it makes him insecure. My brain tells me you want a man that can drive... when I don’t care if he drives or not. But then my head compares him to his best friend who is the husband to my best friend. Saying of he drives don’t you wish your partner can drive!? 😞 so my brain is still attacking me.. when I got my license my brain is like your better than him.. I hate my brain so much.. I am so scared my relationship is gonna end.. I am having a panic attack that I can’t have sex with him again 😭😭 my head makes me feel ok about it but I know I am not... 😖😖
(Not OCD) - All of the guys in my friendship group have gone off to another group of girls. These other girls are prettier and more fun and I’m honestly very jealous of them! But overall I’m feeling quite defeated and insecure and upset. I feel like we’re just not good enough and we can’t compete. And idk what to do anymore. These are meant to be the best years of my life yet I’m having no fun.
Does anyone drinks alcohol to deal with the intrusive thoughts?
I’ve been compulsively masturbating to women for 5-6 years. My HOCD is making me think that I’ve been repressing my gayness by masturbating to only women, and lesbian porn. I would masturbate two to three times a day before this HOCD started.
hi y’all i’m currently feeling really stressed and a little down right now, but i hope everyone is doing well !
Fuck you OCD for making me doubting you and fearing the worst. Fml...
I am having trouble with erp. I feel like nothing in my head makes sense and my mind like can’t function or remember why I get triggered. I have good days and really bad days there’s no in between I go from 0 to 100. I get anal sensations and have acted on them and hate that I did. I have told myself that the anal sensations doesn’t mean I’m gay and I know I love women and always have. My mind always feels foggy
I told my dad I'd try my absolute best before deciding to drop out. And I feel as if I'm not trying enough. There's so much more I could do. But I can't even get myself out of bed to do it. I feel so guilty and shameful.
My biggest fear is subtly molesting my daughter. Like not outright and blatantly, but like subtly. if that makes sense. Like taking advantage of diaper changes and baths for my own quiet sexual satisfaction. That is my biggest fear/obsession. My biggest compulsion is avoidance of washing her in the bath. My therapist says to wash her deliberately and slowly with no mental reviewing or thought suppression, or avoidance or anything. He even suggests purposely triggering groinals. I haven’t had the courage to do any of this. However the other night, I did. I thought I was going to wash her without any avoidance. But then my brain said “ooo yes take advantage of this situation. You can use this to get any weird urge you may have had in the past out of your system” and I didn’t have any anxiety about this thought, and I continued to wash her regardless. I feel terrible!!!! I’m overcome with so much guilt. I feel like these thoughts were the motivation behind my action. Where do you draw the line? I am so distressed.
I beat my OCD episode and this is how I did it. After this I’m done helping people. This is my last post. I hope you guys look into this. CBD, Prozac, family, less R-rated shows/News, working out, and No porn! Never got the chance to do ERP due to therapists switching me around. CBD and no porn goes a long way. Do this for 3 months. At 3 months the brain starts to form new pathways/emotions/thinking patterns. I got better in a little over 3 months. I had 80% of OCDs consuming me 24/7. It was hell and I thought I was going crazy. Couldn’t even look people in the eyes. It was traumatic. I went into a mental hospital. I’m scared of another episode happening so I’m still going to therapy to get more information. Any questions I will answer(:
Taking both my meds again. Prozac I was taking but I stopped risperidone. Being off it you can tell what a big difference it makes when they work together. I feel better. Medication isn’t for everyone. But if you choose to go down that path it’s not a bad thing. And you need to work towards finding what medication works best for you. This is mine. It took me years but it’s how I survive in a more practical manner.
Hello everyone. This is my first time doing NoFap and I’m nervous, anxious, and scared about my possible HOCD. I’ve had numerous girl crushes over the years and never once considered myself gay or bisexual in the slightest. But approximately 5 months ago, my friends called me “sus” for knowing a gay scene from the movie moonlight, and I have been nonstop questioning my sexuality and my identity obsessively. As the months went by, memories which I had long since forgotten had begun to suddenly re-emerge. I remember getting erections to everything since I was a child, but the two most terrifying instances of memory were when I had erections to the Incredible Hulk game when I was 8-9. Everytime the hulk took heavy damage, he would start heavily breathing, and I got an erection to that. I then found masturbating at the age of 11, to a woman masturbating, and continuously did so during 2 years, leading to masturbating to gay porn three or four times when I was the age of 13-14. It was there when I got an erection to the gay scenes from the take me to church music video. When I first had a crush on a girl at the age of 13-14, I began to get erections to only women, masturbated exclusively to women for the next 6 years (I’m 19 now) and most importantly, never watched gay porn ever again. In fact I was so terrified at the notion of being gay, that I tried my best to get out of situations with men in large groups (such as the locker room and the public restroom). I never questioned my sexuality however, because I only fell in love with many women during elementary, middle, and high school, and had even dated a woman in my junior year. Flash foward to five months ago. Me and my friends were looking at Netflix and stumbled across the movie moonlight, and I knew the movie because it was an academy award winning movie, and the fact it was made by A24, a company that I love very much. Anyways, we stumbled across the scene in question, and I pointed out the movie to my friends and they in turn called me “sus” for knowing what the movie was and what the scene was too. I became terrified and reassured my friends that I wasn’t gay, but the thought became engrained in my mind and I have been obsessively going on every OCD forum I can to make sure what I have is HOCD. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual. I would never be involved with a man romantically or sexually, but all the memories and false attractions, groinal responses, and intrusive thoughts make me question everything and anything related to this mess. I do not have any hate towards the LGBTQ+, I only respect and encourage their right for love, equality, and opportunity. I don’t want to be gay or bisexual because it doesn’t fit me as a person. It doesn’t sit right by me and It makes me anxious and nervous. I also experimented with a friend when I was 13-14. It involved intercourse but we never finished. That experience left me with nothing but disgust and shame for myself and I never repeated the action again. I even stopped being friends with him due to how much shame and disgust I felt for even participating in such a event. I truly don’t want to be gay or bisexual and I only have the upmost respect for the LGBTQ community. My HOCD keeps telling me that because I had these events, therefore I’m gay or bisexual when I don’t want to be.
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OCD doesn't have to
rule your life