Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Hey guys, I've been staying with my parents since March (I'm in my mid 20s) because the virus derailed and paused my grad school plans. I used to struggle with severe contamination ocd, which had eased significantly for a while with medication and therapy, but it has come back full force because of COVID. I think COVID has helped me justify my ocd to myself and left me unable to tell what is considered taking normal precautions and what is excessive and unhealthy. My biggest fear is getting my parents sick. I have not seen anyone besides my parents and doctors (for separate medical reasons) in person since March, and this has deeply impacted my mental health. I want to meet with friends outdoors with masks, but I fear it will cause unbearable anxiety and I won't want to come home, or I'll sit in my room for two weeks wearing a mask and avoiding my parents. I don't know how to stop this feeling, and I see no end in sight until I'm able to move out of my parents' house. Anyone have any solidarity or advice?

What if I’m just questioning my sexuality and dont have hocd?

hi, i’m a hocd sufferer and today i have just given in, and said i am bi. and however much i want to say it has helped it hasn’t. it doesn’t feel correct, i don’t feel comfortable with it and it just doesn’t feel natural. and i feel more upset about it now i have given myself this label. me being straight feels correct but i can’t get these thoughts out of my head and it brings me so much pain and discomfort. i don’t know what to do with myself, i thought just going along with it and saying i’m bi would make it feel better but it hasn’t.

Your dreams are the biggest ERP ever . How you respond to it determines everything. 😁

How to deal with anxiety over future? I wanna stay in present but Idk how. I keep worrying about not having a job or not making money and this stops me from living in the present and trying to do something. I am scared and hopeless. I have posted this many times, sorry for bothering.

Today has been horrendous and I just need help

CAN SOMEONE RESPOND THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT: has any other straight girl experimented or touched the same sex before hocd? i did and regret it. i did enjoy it and i read texts where i asked my friend after i did that like the class period after i had touched her i was like “i think i have sexual attraction to girls but i think i’m straight but just like messing around with girls” and it freaked me out reading that after a whole year has passed. if i was bi because i was questioning before i think that moment would’ve been like an “a-ha!” moment and would’ve been conclusive to me but i just questioned it and never touched her again.

Does anyone fear someone will make fun of their religion or values and that will cause them to go the opposite direction because that is what I fear most rn

Maybe obsessing has taken over my life... 😞 I’m losing my job soon and feel like I am gonna lose my partner too... 😞 every day I feel like a lier... I’ve obsessed about being sexually attracted to other men and if I am still sexually attracted to my partner still.. then I remembered I obsessed about this before but I was still able to have sex with him... 😞 I obsess saying I need to tell him the truth... when I am... but then I obsess if I am forcing myself to love him... I know I love him a lot. But why can’t my relationship go back to normal again... I am so depressed I can’t take it.. right now I feel like I wanna die... my life is turning into crap! 😞 tried of hearing Everything happens for a reason... or do what you know... I’ve imagined cutting my wrist before... or my rocking back and fourth with my hands on my head seeing my thoughts attack me... my partner is perfect for me. Even typing that I feel like I am in denial... 😞 I just wanna die right now... I hate my life.. I have such a caring partner and yet I feel this way...

i read an article earlier on and it said you should definitely not try erp by yourself and you need an ocd specialist to do erp. i don’t have access to one, so should i not do it?

This is so mentally exhausting and feels so real 🤦🏽‍♂️

My daughter does weird stuff to prove to herself in her head that she is gay. She pretends like when she grows up she will wear a tuxedo at the wedding, and then winks in the mirror pretending like She is talking to another girl. I don’t Know- If I keep Letting her do these things. She said today she saw a movie poster on netflix and it had two girls kissing . She said she “wanted to be in that situation” and then that gave her anxiety. Is this all NormaL HOCD?

is there some thing wrong with me? i’m a straight girl with hocd. and i don’t know if this is normal: every since i got it i literally haven’t been able to watch any sort of porn without ruminating about what i watch after. but i can’t watch straight porn anymore because i get all theses intrusive thoughts that are based off of what complaining women who can’t tell their partners that they aren’t satirised with their sex life so they instead bitch about it online...and it’s really fucked with me. when i watch it i think “he’s not pleasing her” “he’s hurting her” “she’s just faking it” but then if i imagine the couple being two guys i’m able to get off to it better. or just gay porn in general. i guess i just assume that they understand each other psychologically i dunno, that must be a reason why i was les porn sometimes but i do have a liking towards gay porn. what i’m getting at is, before hocd i never analysed my poem habits. like it didn’t matter i’d watch what i wanted and it meant nothing, it was just something that helped me sleep better. but now, since hocd has made me question everything about men and how they can’t please women, according to women on twitter, it’s really messed with me psychologically. im so scared that i’ll never be able to be aroused properly by men in the future. i’m scared that i’ll have a horrible sex life. i’m scared that i won’t feel pleasure because a lot of girls talk about how they don’t feel anything and a lot of guys talk about how complicated it is to please a woman. i just feel like a robot. like what’s complicated about my pleasure and why do girls always bitch about their boyfriends not pleasing them when they can just tell him straight up. it’s really messing with me. it’s like ever tweet i’ve read on twitter has turned into an intrusive thought and i now i can’t feel fully satisfied with porn unless it’s gay porn or maybe les porn but not preferably. i feel like this made no sense but someone please help me to understand my mind. i’m not asking for reassurance or anything. i’m just a teen girl who wants some advice and answers and understanding on my psychology. thanks you :)

Who else with hocd is obsessed with relationships and “proving” to the world that they are straight? Since my hocd started , my all consuming focus was on relationships, as a means to get rid of my hocd. But then, ROCD kicked in and I ended up hopeless. Will it ever end?

I really don’t know if this is common or not but I’m too scared to google it. Basically I’m quite introverted and scared of judgement etc. Being the centre of attention is scary. But at the same time, I crave attention and validation a lot. Like in class, for example, I WANT to be picked on when I have a good answer because I will feel validated. But it’s also very scary having everyone look at me. And I just don’t know. Like I’m shy and awkward but also I like it when people notice and perceive me (if it’s not in a terrible way). It makes me so anxious though and makes me feel vain. It’s easy to tell myself to stop caring about what people think, but it’s hard to practise that without still ‘craving validation’ as such.

I'm really worried that I think working is lame and that I don't want to do it anymore. I need to work but keep avoiding it because I get all these thoughts when I try. It feels real like I dont wsnt to work anymore and I want to rebel and do bad things instead. Is this OCD? I work at home btw on my small business.

TW I had an anxiety attack earlier and I’m still shaking and trying to calm down hours later. I was in this ocd server on discord and someone in the pocd chatroom said that they were an actual pedo after relating to one of my messages. I tried telling them that maybe it was just ocd but they were pretty convinced. I had to leave the chat after that because felt so sick and disgusted that I was talking to an actual pedo. I feel like them relating to me makes me one to and that I’m just in denial. I’m incredibly anxious and I can’t sleep. I feel like I’m going to be sick.

I honestly think it’s best to keep your ocd hidden from people who don’t have it unless absolutely necessary. This disorder is incredibly complicated and hard to understand. Even people that suffer from it often find it hard to understand why they’re afraid of something that doesn’t make sense whatsoever much less people who don’t have it.

I feel so defeated. I hate that I never dated and broke the rules a little. If I had maybe I wouldn’t have this. Maybe I wojld have figured this out a lot sooner. I’m so .... ugh

Does anyone have any feedback on if Zoloft helped them with their HOCD ? My daughter is on 25 mg and the doctor thinks she should go on 50 Mg because her HOCD has not gone away . It comes and goes in phases so wanted to see feedback