Welcome to
the NOCD Community

This is two questions (sort of), which I hope neither are a compulsion. I ask you please read both: 1) Does your ocd ever try to convince of a lie, as in a thought that you have actually done something (for example, a rude insult or baseless assertion), which you know you never would comment or say? Like, do the thoughts ever make you feel as if you are becoming delusional? 2) Sometimes I feel like I suck as a sibling, as a son, and as a friend because of my ocd. I feel like I don’t measure up to who I once was. I hate myself sometimes, since I am not as happy or carefree—always laughing—as I once was before. I live in constant doubt. The anxiety is manageable sometimes, other times, however it is unbearable. All I ever aspired in life was to make a positive impact on others lives, to inspire them and be a role model, a person anyone can turn to in a time of need. I have an amazing family, but I can see the disappointment I bring now. They are patient, mostly. But none of them understand the torment I go through with my battles against ocd. I just feel alone and tired. Anybody have some good advance to hold on and be strong, better myself? How did you overcome your battles with ocd? Thank you for reading, and much love.

Can someone tell me grave differences between HOCD and internalized homophobia ?

HELP! Anyone with HOCD be out in a restaurant in public or something and look at every single same sex individual (I mean like stare) and constantly and look back and forth at them to see if they’re “attractive” or not? Why do I do this? How do I stop this???? PLEASE HELP!!! PLEASE

Hey guys, just looking for life advice from those who are religious, I struggle with being gay because I am religious, any advice?

What is everyone's diet here? Plant based ? Keto? High sugar diet? Anyone here also have digestive issues... i have internall hemorrhoids and also IBS which im working on a diet to heal my gut. Curious to hear anyone elses thoughts on this other than damn ocd.

Ok so now I’m thinking I should really get better cuz I’m honestly seeing more potential at the gym and I’d rather be ok and be able to act on my positive thoughts when I see an attractive women. I guess I’m just depressed cuz and don’t feel like being better cuz I think I’ll never meet someone but now I’m like in the chance that I do I want to be out of my head so that I can ask a girl out and see where it goes and be ready for anything thrown my way in life. I don’t need to have a job but it would be nice to have one. I don’t need friends but it would be cool to have some. I don’t need to have conversations with strangers but it would be cool to feel normal when I do have conversations. It would actually be really fucking awesome if I had my own car again and to have my own place just to bring a women back where it be for one night or for multiple nights if it turns out that way. I want to be able to think straight than to be nervous all the time and think I might mess up something and revert back to my ocd. One step at a time now. Need to figure out a plan to handle my soocd better and the thoughts that stop me from having an erection when I see a pretty girl. Let’s go.

If you’re going through cheating ocd I want you to read this! Idk if this will help anyone but I once was a real cheater about two years ago as in I was having an emotional affair with someone as well as sending dirty texts to someone in my past relationship. I want you all to know that when I was doing such act I did not feel guilty I did it about three times the only time I ever felt guilty was when my ex would spoil me or show me love. Never once did I feel guilty I only felt guilty when he would show me affection but I felt guilty because I was like damn I’m a cheater and him being nice to me is making me even feel worse about myself. I recall cheating because he would ignore me, send disgusting nude pics of woman in group chats with his buddies, and he didn’t respect me, and I wasn’t all that into him he disgusted me and had terrible hygiene, only seemed to care about his guy friends than me. Eventually though I felt bad but I felt bad because I didn’t want to be a cheater, it was not because of hurting my ex. I felt guilty and bad for myself not for my ex. I remember at one point I felt so bad and guilty that I was a cheater that I told him the truth but I sugar coated it and twisted the truth and I would try to convince myself I didn’t do anything wrong when I knew exactly what I did especially because the proof and truth was there within my memory. What I’m trying to say is if you’re undergoing cheating ocd and you feel guilt about hurting your partner then obviously you’re not a cheater. A real cheater doesn’t worry about hurting their partner a real cheater only feels guilty because they’re afraid of being judged for cheating and feel guilty because the affection their partner shows them makes them feel worse about being cheaters. Never once do real cheaters care about hurting their partner also real cheaters don’t go back to ruminate about whether or not they did something wrong. Also if you fear you cheated and your ocd is telling you what if you forgot and just don’t remember! Trust me if you actually cheated or put yourself in that position you’d remember. Also real cheaters don’t blame themselves for being cheaters they blame their partner for making them cheat.

I want to open up about something I struggle with still, and maybe some of the people I comment and offer help on may in turn have ideas for me? Because we know ocd is a constant path of recovery we coast on I struggle a lot with picture-taking. I feel like any time I notice something I want to “remember”, I need to take a photo of it. And if it doesn’t look exactly like how I’m seeing it (a plant catching the sunlight, my body in the mirror), i need to continue retaking it. This is starting to get to be a problem because I’ll end up taking around 50 or more photos a day. My phone gets super cluttered, and when I can’t find a photo of something actually important/worth keeping, it’s very embarrassing. I go back and delete as many old screenshots and random photos, but until I stop doing it every day I’m basically treading water. I’m not sure if this need to remember something exactly how it was in that moment came about (I think when one of my family members passed away from dementia I got this fear of not being able to preserve things exactly so) but I figure as a community, I could reach out to some of you guys. Thanks for taking the time to read. :)

is there any good songs about ocd? not the stereotypes, though. i like to use music to help with my thoughts, and finding lyrics i relate to really help :)

becoming crazy with life, cant speak english nor spanish no more, ocd killing me, loneliness killing me, depression killing me life is worthless

I'm so scared right now, I don't think my intrusive thoughts are intrusive anymore. I feel completely numb and disconnected from everything and everyone. I feel like I'm insane. I don't feel reassured by anything which makes me think I want the thoughts. for example I have harm ocd thoughts about my daughter and always have since she was born, she is now 9. I've suffered terribly with mental health since she was born. and an intrusive thought I have just had is "if I killed her i wouldn't be anxious anymore" can thoughts become this distressing? this can't be normal, please someone help.

Anyone elsw feel happy and calm but then suddenly a rush of cheating ocd pops out like oh you shouldnt feel calma round your partner because you cheated! But heres the thing how did I cheat if I dont even recall talking to anyone sexually or flirty during the time we became official. I think and think but all I can remember is telling someone I basically couldnt talk to them anymore because I was taking someone serious.

wowww i’m having a panic attack. the requirement to be a pedophile in my country is 16. i’m terrified, i’m so scared. ocd is so horrible

Hi everyone, A quick introduction I’ve had ocd for many years I’m 41 I did not get diagnosed until I was 30 and I went through an extremely bad patch. I had cbt and am on medication still. I had a relatively good 10 years where i could carry on my life I look back now and think there are certain things I never dealt with as I was too ashamed all I told my therapist was I get intrusive thoughts around knives just telling her that I felt scared when I know now I should of told her everything. So they revolve around harm to others this can be anyone Fear of certain things news, horror, etc. But the one thought that I always pushed to the back of my mind is relationship ocd. I have been with my partner for 17 years he has been extremely supportive throughout my life but the ocd revolves around me questioning if he’s cheated about four years ago I was at a wedding with him and someone came up to me and said I don’t know if this is true but I’ve heard (your partner ) has a child with someone else and a partner and he loves you both well as you can imagine this was an absolute shock I rang this person when I got home and I said so where is this lady and child and all she said was oh birmingham or Bristol not quite sure it could be a rumour. Anyway it nearly split us up and fast forward last 4 years nothing has ever come of it but i have not done well constantly asking for reassurance being horrible to him the intimacy side has been non existent we both work very hard I have my own business and he works 2 jobs so is away at weekends which feeds the anxiety I’ve realised I’ve got into a pattern for the last year or so for asking for reassurance without realising he cares for me and looks after me but I still have a niggle in my mind and always have a dig at him. I’m exhausted from it all and at Christmas I went to moms for a few weeks as I was so unwell with ocd I’m waiting treatment and I’m working on not asking for reassurance. I want to stay with him but something needs to change. I have thoughts of harm around him I tell him everything and he just makes a joke about it which we laugh at. I google cheat quiz how often you should have sex everything. I’m just at a loss. He works long days 14 - 15 hours I do to but have had to cut down as I couldn’t carry on like that so we have no time for each other since I’ve been ill he’s been getting home earlier and making sure I’ve eaten and took medication. There’s also been a lot of illness around me lately people I know through work and I think it over in my mind. Sorry for such a long post just needed to get it out there.

Hello everyone. I seem to have moral scrupulosity. I made some purchases last Thursday that I am feeling guilt over. Conscience is telling me to return them, but part of me is saying this is OCD but another part says it is reasonable guilt. So I am trying to sit with the guilt and hoping it goes away, but it is not. Having extreme anxiety over this and it seems to be growing. Ruminating about it all day and getting little sleep. The premise of ERP is that resisting the urge to perform the compulsion would lessen it, but it is only growing. After almost 6 days, it is just getting worse. I am on the verge of giving up in order to get relief. Any suggestions from anyone?

i saw some videos last year and i feel incredibly guilty for viewing them. i’m not sure how to get rid of that guilty feeling and being terrified that my future could be ruined, or that i could be arrested and hated by everyone. i’m not even over 18 but it’s so terrifying. what can i do? i’ve realised yesterday that a compulsion is to ask for reassurance, so i want to help myself. it’s just difficult because they calm down for a moment, but then get really bad again. i miss being able to sit down and do nothing without being attacked by this guilt and terrifying thoughts of the future.

Hey guys! I just want to thank everyone who answered my posts these past few days /last week and who prayed for me. I have came out of one of those mental storms, and I am not despairing any more. Thank you so much for answering me as I am truly in a scary place during those times..Of course I give this praise to God who is the author of all things and giver of all comfort and help. He used you all to give me encouragement and relief during those times. Thank you so so much!! I hope to help you too whenever you need🌸

Hi everyone. My son (14) is having a terrible experience at Rogers IOP and we feel we need to leave the program. What’s it like to leave a program in the middle of it? He completed full 6weeks of IOP at Rogers online, which was so disorganized. He’d get links for n multiple places, sometimes after a meeting had started. It CAUSED him anxiety. He only got his plan and schedule and distress list 4-5 week into the 6 week program. So they recommended he move to an in person program which has been worse. We drive 90 minutes every day for Kane to sit in a windowless room by himself for three hours with the behaviorist popping in for maybe the mins total. I have no idea what hat they’re working on, but hat the plan is, how I’m supposed to help at home, just anything. The therapist doesn’t seem to know even the basics about him. We finally met with her 7 days into the program and she was asking me basic questions, like Does he have an IEP? We’d answered repeatedly in the hours and hours of intake meetings. It was like they didn’t know much about him or why he was there! My sons behavior is worse, we’ve totally disrupted our family and other kids by spending 7 hours a day away from home every day. I just don’t feel they are organized or coordinating. I don’t feel any real care or compassion. I’m so heartbroken. Two totally failed IOPs. It seems crazy not to me not to end this program at this point. But I have no idea what it means to end a program in the middle or what to do for my son now. We tried NOCD several months ago and loved it, so maybe we try this again. I’m so sad and disappointed. This has all been so exhausting for everyone and to have it end in failure, worse than where we started, is devastating. 😞 you welcome your advice.

The thoughts are more believable when you don’t have anxiety

This post may be triggering for those with SOOCD, so please don’t read if you’re in a vulnerable spot in your recovery. I feel like this will end my marriage. I’ve read things on this app that triggered me, and I’m doing a lot to keep going. But I feel like every day is a new battle. Someone said that finding women more sexually arousing in porn is a common theme for lesbians. I do have that, but I also love and want to be with my husband. My sex life has always been pretty hard due to anxiety. Am I in denial then? What’s happening to me. Last time I had sex was miserable. My therapist thinks I’m making progress but I keep having dreams with naked women where in the dream I cry because I’m afraid I feel aroused. I’m not aroused by abs on men. He told me to look at pictures of men with abs for exposure but I tried today and I feel helpless. I’m not hopeful sex will get better or that I’ll ever get out of this.