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the NOCD Community

I'm in a weird position rn...I don't really fear discovering that I'll be a bisexual because that makes me think that I can be with men then and that if I turn out to be bisexual I still wouldn't date women...it's the fear of being a lesbian that's predominant in my hocd but lately my mind tells me that since I don't fear being bisexual that much I might be one and since a few weeks whenever I come across the word bisexual it feels like I'm happy or something but I don't want to be ...I just want to be straight...does this happen? I don't know if what I said makes sense.

does anyone have a compulsive need to pick at things? (for me it’s clothes, towels, and carpets) if you do what do you to help it?

Does anyone have past event OCD thoughts? This has been new for me in the last couple years and was wondering what helps others?

Does anyone have harm ocd? I was triggered by a video online about self-harm and I am terrified! I’ve been stuck in this fear cycle for fever all weeks. How do you know if it’s real or ocd? I guess just asking that question speaks volumes that it has to be ocd. I’m not suicidal at all, but I swear my brain keeps giving me These really distressing thoughts. I was recently diagnosed with ocd and it is so scary to me.

Intrusive dream??? Last night I had a dream regarding my intrusive thoughts. I was having a dream about making out with a girl, it felt like I enjoyed it in my dream but when I finally woke up from it I was dripping in sweat. Does this mean my thoughts are real ?

Hi all! New to this platform and hoping I can get some insight on my OCD patterns. I feel extremely hopeless at this point, like my brain is leading me into a direction I don’t want to go but I have no control over it. But I’m also not sure if it’s real thoughts or OCD rearing it’s ugly head. My boyfriend and I have been together 3.5 years and it hasn’t been the easiest ride with him, but not for any crazy reasons. No cheating, abuse, screaming at each other - Just differences in social life and some priorities. But ultimately we want the same things in life and we do love each other. Once the honeymoon period wore off after the first year, the doubts started piling in. I managed to push them aside somehow and didn’t believe them until the last few months. I’m not entirely sure what started it all, but it’s at the point now where my negative, intrusive thoughts are on an endless loop. We’ve discussed recently that things aren’t going well and I’m having small outbursts to minor things, so we started seeing a couples counselor. This offered me some minor relief as the counselor offered a plan to compromise some of our issues, but now I feel out of control. My head will not let me rest. It wants an immediate answer as to what the state of my relationship is in. I’ll google everything under the sun for answers on how I’m feeling, to no avail. I don’t want him out of my life but that little voice is screaming at me to “run”. But I don’t believe it, nor want to. I’m not sure if it’s COVID and the fact that we’re both stressed or haven’t been able to get away and spend real quality time with each other. Im not sure if it’s the fact that we own a home together and it’s making me feel trapped. I’m not even sure if my thoughts are real. One moment I’ll be looking at him and thinking how I want to fight for him and our relationship, then the next thing he’ll say something I deem insensitive or not up to my standards and I’m right back to “run, he’s not for you.” And these thoughts are now taking over my day to day and making me feel insane. They’re compulsive, incredibly intrusive, negative-focused thoughts that are followed by an urge to research and fix. But I’m not finding any fixes. I do believe there are real practical issues in our relationship and it could be triggering my flight response. I want to get a handle on these thoughts, or at least try to, before giving into the obsession and cutting ties with someone I really care about. I guess what I’m asking is, does this sound like ROCD? Thank you in advance ❤️

I saw a post on here for people with pocd warning them about something so I thought I’d do the same. I also suffer from pocd and I would advise not joining online groups or servers for ocd support (unless it’s conducted by a certified peer support specialist or it’s like this app.) TW: I joined one and it only enabled my ocd behavior because I constantly tried to find reassurance on it, and the worst case scenario happened because I met an actual pedo and people who defended predatory behaviors. I’m sorry if this triggers anyone but I felt like I needed to bring awareness to this because I don’t want people to experience the same trauma I did.

Sometimes at work, I feel like I need to get every detail perfectly. But it’s stressful when there’s a complex subject and I don’t feel like I can get it all. I never feel good at my job. Very rarely. I know this is very negative, it’s just a harder day than usual

After 3 months of ERP it has finally paid off and I can now say I feel recovered! If anyone wants some advice let me know ❤️

Telling parents about OCD when you haven’t had a formal diagnoses, help. So, my mum is such a deeply compassionate person and she is so caring and has helped me in all the ways that she could with my obsessions, but, she absolutely will NOT accept that I have OCD. I cant even use the word in conversation without her getting heated up. She assumes that I have pulled this label out of nowhere to explain my ‘over-thinking’. I have openly suffered with health anxiety (OCD), and a theme that makes me scrutinise all of my thoughts to decide whether they were normal - it’s basically a fear that I’m autistic, despite having 0 of the symptoms (it’s hard to explain), but have privately suffered with SO OCD (sexual orientation), which I managed to basically overcome on my own with self-administered ERP. I don’t feel comfortable opening up to my mum about that, so she is only aware of my two themes. My mum has a habit of minimising everything, and despite suffering with severe-post natal anxiety and depression, she has a hard time grappling with labels. It was only recently that I found out I was likely struggling with OCD, seeing as I had EVERY SINGLE SYMPTOM OF IT. In order for her to even open her eyes up to the idea of it, I have to say “look it’s not that serious, it’s fine I’m fine it’s just a label”. She hates if I try to say that I’ve been really struggling. She hates it. I laugh (A lot) with my friends, and to her that is direct evidence that I haven’t been suffering. But trust me I have been absolutely miserable. I’m almost tearing up writing this. I cant get her to accept that I likely have OCD, she just says I’m on over-thinker and it’s all because of quarantine and I’ll be fine once we’re back in school - yeah, more distractions from the issue, but will I really be fine?? Probably not. Just like the last time. Anyway, any thoughts?

I managed to overcome my trans theme in a matter of days, just by agreeing or accepting that there’s a possibility that I am. Now I don’t have that theme anymore and I managed to make it last only a few days. I’ve had HOCD for 8 months now and every day if feels more real. I want to try what I did for TOCD because it worked well but I’m scared to because HOCD feels different and I so desperately don’t want my thoughts to be true. I don’t know what to do :(

Im hating my hocd is anyones hocd making them stare at places they shouldnt? Or try to avoid looking there?

Two things: How do you no longer worry about something people not only tell you that you shouldn't worry about this real event, but you don't even know exactly why you worry about the event? I've told all my friends about the event word from word and they don't even think I should worry about it because I didn't do anything, as most of them have said. So how do I just stop? Is it wrong to ask to talk to older girls on here as a guy? I feel like that's immensely wrong and I shouldn't do that, but I feel really happy talking to them because I just like women a lot. But I get uncomfortable with anyone lower than my age.

I really can’t get over this past « mistake » . I don’t even know if it’s a mistake or a bad thing anymore . I love live and i don’t want to die but i feel like it’s the only way because i’ve ruined my life anyway

HELP I THINK I MIGHT HAVE KILLED SOMEONE . When I was 8, I either picked on a boy or bullied him , I’m not sure which one. I was watching a video about a girl who hung herself over being bullied . So that reminded me of this . I know I made fun of the kid for being fat , but I CANNOT remember the intensity , whether I genuinely meant to hurt him or just was a kid teasing and annoying someone. . There’s no point in trying to recall cuz I’ll just make false memories . I know for sure that the kid cried to his parents and then at a parent teacher convention they told my parents I was being mean . I can’t remember if I stopped after that . My mom laughs at the incident, and was like “omg you’re face that day was so funny “ . So that makes me think it was probably mild . Besides if I bullied someone to death , I’d remember how abusive I was right ? I had a reputation for teasing kids , but I know I teased him more than I usually teased people . I can’t remember what my intentions were . I don’t know what ERP to do , or if I’m a fucking murderer . To make matters worse I went on Reddit , where people were remorseful over being former bullies and talked about how guilty they felt . I completely forgot about the incident . Now I feel like a disgusting evil murderer

I don’t think I could do this. It’s to hard. 😭

i was having this with a mate about crime and it got to the point saying that men are disgusting (not all of them. i don’t mean this to offend anyone) and it’s made me think that i now hate all men. like i see a man and i’m like “if you dated him he would hit you”

I'm worrying that my ocd hasn't been as severe recently. The anxiety and thoughts have decreased and I'm not obsessing as much. I think this is because of medication and learning tactics to fight ocd effectively. But as I said I'm worrying that my ocd isn't as severe and I fear I don't have ocd at all despite diagnosis. Anybody else experience this?

Girls only please! So I’m talking to a new guy and we’ve hit it off pretty good we have a lot of in common as well as beliefs etc.. And he talked about how he supports lgbt community because he has a cousin that is gay and idk I thought that was going to freak me out because of my hocd but it made me feel like less worried like I’d not be judged by him. We have had some deeps talks already and he told me he feels like he can be himself around me and I told him how I’m very intrigued with psychology etc. But I feel like with all the guys I’ve been I’ll be able to tell him about what’s been going on with me, but I still have these thoughts of if I tell him he’s just going to think I’m bi and in denial like I fear being rejected. Like there’s some days where I think what if it’s not hocd and I’m just in denial? Like this makes dating for me so hard I hate it. I start therapy on here next week but I feel like it’s not going to work on me because what if I’m just in denial. But going back to the guy he told me that he can see himself with me which made me happy but then I feel like I’ll be burden which is another reason why dating for me is hard. One thing that makes me so upset is that I actually had my first boyfriend after I had a what if I’m gay thought so I feel like it ruined my experience and also guys didn’t start noticing be after this happened to me like why?? Hopefully someone on here can relate?:/

I just worry I’m not feminine enough or I lack ‘what it means to be a woman’. And I also feel like I don’t seek female companionships enough which makes me feel so bad. Like I guess it’s easier to be around guys because I don’t have to compare myself to anyone (bad trait) but I WANT to built strong bonds with other women. I don’t know what all this means but honestly it gets me down.