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Having Pedo themed OCD is so draining. It's like the thought of hurting a child is so terrifying to me to the point I'd rather end myself than ever have it happen, but I can never convince myself I wouldn't do it. Sometimes I'm able to some ERP kind of exercises and it makes it quite better but a lot of times i just can't handle the anxiety it takes to go through with them. And its hard because there aren't many people other than my thearpist I can explain this to. Makes me scared to pursue relationships or anything like that because I feel like they wouldn't understand and just see me as a monster which sucks because there's actually a girl I'm starting to like and she has a adorable little girl I couldn't imagine ever harming but I get the most explicit intrusive thoughts about her and I'll even get gronial responses and its just to the point I just want to break down and cry, I have panic attacks at least once a day. There's times I think about self harming to deal with it because I used to be a cutter in my teenage years but thankfully so far I've been able to avoid giving into it. But to say this causes me intense emotional distress is a understatement. I'm getting better where I can stop the panic attack quicker but its still so draining to deal with it almost every single day. Its frustrating because I keep telling myself I don't want these thoughts and then my mind is like "You're lying to yourself! You want this, you're just tricking yourself." Even though I know its illogical because I don't want that, my mind just seems to spend most of the time trying to break me down into believing it that I just spend a lot of time stoned so the thoughts are too jumbled to focus on. Which I know isn't the healthiest coping mechanism but just have a break is so refreshing.

My HOCD is making me image me kissing my mother guys this is awful its screwed up.

Husband emptied the dishwasher that I washed twice because I thought there was some chemicals from work on them. I don’t remember what dishes were in there soooo ☹️

Does anyone else get anxiety when kissing their SO even though they really wish they could enjoy it?

wooo love being terrified that a yt video i saw counted as something super bad and illegal and that im an offending pedophile now

Can someone please give me an example on how to use ERP for ROCD?

I've currently been struggling with something that is going to make me sound like a piece of shit, even I recognize how messed up it's going to sound. Over the past couple months, I have been worrying about the proper way to interact with POC without coming across as racist. I know, this is already awful. I consider myself to be an ally who supports POC & civil rights movements. I'm ashamed of white people honestly, we've oppressed POC from the beginning of time. I'm personally ashamed of my white ethnicity. I've been even more so in the past year. I feel like my OCD has recently attached to this though. At least, I think it has, or maybe it's guilt knowing I'm white and part of systemic racism problem as a whole. When I pass a POC on the street, or in a place of business, I'll immediately start to get thoughts like "Am I coming across as rude? Am I being nice enough? Am I being too nice? Am I smiling too much? Am I smiling enough? Do I look uncomfortable? This isn't about me, so why am I anxious? Stop being so self centered. Are you appearing racist? What if this POC thinks I'm racist? That's awful to assume what they think. Stop making this about you!" And basically the entire time I'm trying to interact with someone of color, I have all this anxious dialogue in my head and I probably physically appear to be anxious, which in turn I'm sure the other person thinks "Why are they acting so tense/afraid?" It's not that I'm afraid, or dislike POC, I'm way too overly cautious, I recognize that, and it's actually coming across as racist. And I don't want to make this about me, because it's not, I can only imagine the racism POC have to endure on a daily basis. It's like my own OCD/anxiety is getting in the way. I hate it. I want to get over it. I don't know why it's coming up, but I want to get past this. .

Does anyone know a Pastor or Priest that has gone through the struggles of OCD and dealt with spiritually fears? I have a family member who could really use some encouragement right now. Even if it's just through zoom.

I am struggling with obsessions about spirituality and religion and having pure o about this topic. I have been very spiritual for years but recently ocd flared up and I have become obsessed with having a crisis of faith and wondering if there is no God, no spiritual energy and no life after death. I obsessively watch videos about the topic and ruminate a lot. I feel like I can’t even think about the topic without obsessing about it. Is this a common ocd thing? How can I do exposures about this without it ruining my connection to God?

Has anyone gotten to the point where you don’t have a lot of thoughts? I am nervous I use to love kissing my partner now I feel like I don’t... I know I am deeply depressed since I’ve been crying randomly... I wanna make love to him to but I feel like I don’t... did I really convince myself? 😞

Hello I have a question for all my fellow ocd folks. If you could I would like the most replies as possible bc all of your opinions mean a lot to me seeing as we all collectively are going thru this. I am thinking abt writing a short film abt the true nature of intrusive thoughts that ocd brings. I don’t feel like media depicts it the way I would like but also bc i imagine it must be careful in the way it handles the subject. What I want to include in this script is a monologue that basically brings light to some of our worst thoughts imaginable. I want to write this character representative of me that is talking to her bf and begins by asking questions to herself and speaking philosophically abt uncertainty and the way she never knows if she might one day do the things she thinks abt. The topics I would include would be heavy with words such as “fucking a child” or giving details of how she could kill her bf. This is all very triggering and I’m afraid it may cross the line as to what I can expose but I feel like to a point it is ok to make others uncomfortable to really give them insight on what this torment is like. Of course there would be a trigger warning if I’m ever able to film it. I feel it would be cathartic for me to be able to make this if even just for me bc by the end the audience would learn that she doesn’t actually intend on doing any of the things she’s thinking abt by telling her bf that tahts how bad it can get sometimes and at the worst times, it’s simply debilitating. I would do my best to actually shine light on how horrifying the experience can be but again I understand some ppl may not be comfortable watching it play out and experiencing it again. I believe it would be just as challenging for me to make but there’s this frustration that ppl will never understand us and ocd really even if we should have to show the ugliest parts abt it, I feel that in a sense it would also serve as a kind of exposure therapy for us to see. Pls let me know what you guys think and if there might be a better way of going abt this. All advice is appreciated.

Hey everyone, I’ve been suffering with HOCD for about two months and it’s something that I’ve been struggling with very much since it started. I was wondering if there was anyone that is also suffering from the same type of OCD and would like to talk about it, just need someone to relate to so that I don’t feel like I’m going insane.

TW, unwanted/impulsive/obsessive thoughts (and seeing/feeling them), anxiety attacks, fear of bad stuff happening, etc. hi friends.. i have undiagnosed odc, put i am pretty sure i have it. i’ve always knew i probably had it but i thought if i ignored it it would go away but it made it worse. a couple of days ago, me and my friends went through a situation and we agreed that to prevent something like this from happening again, we need to be more open with each other and communicate. me and one of my friends were talking and my (possibly) ocd popped up in the conversation (not on purpose.) i was explaining to my friend how my mind works and she explained to me (in the nicest way, i have the sweetest friends,) how that’s not alway really normal. it opened up the (again, possible, i don’t want to self diagnose if this isn’t correct,) ocd topic i had been trying to push away for forever. since then, i’ve noticed how every little thing i do leads back to ocd being a possibility and my mind nott working properly. then, last night i was talking to someone who makes me really anxious, and they were talking about how we’re not close anymore, etc. background stuff, i used to be very extroverted and talkative but recently i’ve become EXTREMELY introverted. talking to them and what we were talking about made me realllly anxious and it carried into today. these topics we were talking about made me realize how badly and not correctly my mind is working, liek it had been before, just worse now. my anxiety and (possibly, again i don’t know what it is) ocd work together to make life living heck. because of last night, i was thinking a lot and it bothered me that it could stop, therefore making it worse. by the end of 3 period, it was starting to get bad. then came the unwanted/impulsive/obsessive (i’m not sure how to exactly describe them) thoughts, including my friends being hurt if i don’t go do something right now (this actually happens a lot and it really bothers me.) because of this i went into panic, had an anxiety attack, and couldn’t stop seeing/imagining/feeling them being hurt. i went to the bathroom during beginning for 4th period and tried to calm down, but i didn’t fully calm down until the beginning of 5th. we had a test in fourth so i tried counting and naming colors so i could get my test done calmly, but it only would work for about 5 minutes before they came back. can someone please tell me what this is because i and sooo done with not knowing what’s going on. is this ocd?? other not so bothersome examples are closing out of all tabs before i sleep or my friend will not sleep at night. or getting carried away in thought, realizing your carried away in thought, then having to go back and recall everything that led you to think of that or else something might happen. everything has to look nice and even or else somethings gonna happen. someone please tell me if you feel the same so i am not alone, or let me know what is going on. i’m sorry if you’re going through this, you don’t deserve any of what’s happening to you. remember you are loved and please stay strong for me, i know it gets hard. sending love to anyone who’s in need. someone please help me.

i have this obsession/fear of becoming obsessed with my bf and being “ crazy” and wanting to repeatedly call/text him. it terrifies me. ive heard of obsessive love disorder and it horrifies me. ive done endless research on how to prevent this fear from happening. this rlly scares me bc i recently started getting obsessive/intrusive thoughts saying “ why isn’t he texting me “ “ where is he “ “ i hate him” etc and im getting scared that maybe this fear is actually happening or its my OCD fear worsening and making the thoughts seen more real. its frustrating bc i question myself do i actually care?? i rllly feel like deep down i dont but these thoughts seem so real and im scared. i also even question if i truly love him or am i just “ obsessed “ bc these thoughts are making me anxious. also because i know “ obsessed “ people think they live this person but they dont. i started crying this morning when he texted me back and i feel like i cant do it anymore. im so tired of this fear and all these thoughts. ive done everything to prevent this fear but my thoughts seen so real that i dont even know anymore.

does anyone know if ocd can give you an urge to run away and act on it for no reason it’s like this strong feeling that i have to do it or else. or if it can give you physical sensations that feel like you’re going to pass out if you don’t go to your room right away its going to happen and it feels so real

I’m desperate for help to stop obsessively picking my skin. My face is torn to shreds. I’m so ashamed and I literally cannot stop. I always find myself in front of a mirror like oh we’re doing this AGAIN. I hate going out in public because of my fucked up skin, it holds me back a lot.

I need some advice. I have been having a lot of relationship troubles and not because my ocd because it has nothing to do with it. I got into an argument with my boyfriend yesterday and I apologized for my half of it. He was super cold to me and then sent me this long long message on something I did in the past.. like a year ago. And not cheating but me being with this guy when we weren’t together and etc etc, how I said goodbye to him. I apologized for that sincerely. But he holds a grudge and that’s why he has no motivation to make effort in this relationship and the way he said it seemed like it is valid but it isn’t. He told me I am fake, I am selfish, I didn’t deserve a second chance after what happened a “year” ago. This relationship is one sided... I put all the effort, I chase him, and I even asked if we could talk in person and he wanted space and that just bugged me because he always does that when he is upset when I want to talk, and yes people have boundaries I know that.. but it’s a way for him to do the silent treatment and I know it. He turns it on me then, and said I am fake.. I don’t understand. All I have done is show him love and I make mistakes but I’ve worked on them and he hasn’t. My family and friends think he treats me like crap. My only fear is he will find someone better than me and that’s my theme but I mean after a breakup stuff like that can happen and it scares me I’ll be all alone and won’t find anyone like him. And yes some people will be like you will find better but here’s the thing. This is the guy I wanted to marry, behind him not putting in effort and this stuff we have a lot in common and idk our love is strong. I know that just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them if they treat you like that.. but it’s so hard I feel so attached. I feel like if I end things he will blame me and move on like I’m trash and I don’t matter. Because what he said to me honestly made me feel like everything he has said about me that was positive is a lie. Because he has all these cards w sweet stuff over the years and then a recent one from my 18th and he didn’t deny it when I said do you not still think those things.. he never said I do. He said stuff has changed since then. Like what am I now trash? He said I deserved him saying all of that because I got mad at him over something. It was about my health and how he made a risky decision and he didn’t even say sorry he said he can do what he wants.. but that’s about my health and my family because of covid. And he calls me selfish.. I don’t know what to do. He basically bullied me.. and showered me with all of this stuff as if he doesn’t care about me. Yet I love him so much. He makes me feel like trash though.

When my mind gets overwhelmed with worrisome thoughts I end up getting this feeling sort of like right in my stomach it feels like panic, its like a rush and then I get really scared and often need to go to the bathroom. Anyone have any advice on how to calm that reaction? I feel like I’m stuck in this anxious thinking then panic feeling loop.

So like is it not possible to %100 recover? Cuz like i started to have HOCD thoughts like April 2020.And i was suffering for so long but i didn't know what OCD was until August 2020.And by the time i learned it i was in too deep. With the help of people in youtube and articles i made myself a little better. But i still have Intrusive thoughts everyday with high anxiety. Ot have different obsessions. Generally just questioning everything i do and think and my morals. And don't get me started with the things I've done in the past. A kind person in a OCD video comment section recommended this. But i am not really comfortable with video calls idk if this has something to do with my social anxiety. I've seen 2 doctors and they weren't helpful i just don't know what to do. I also live in Turkey and we have this huge exam and i don't have that much time left to get ready. I realized late that how important was this. And i know if i don't go to collage my OCD will just get worse. I also had a crush but i was having ROCD thoughts as if we were in relationship but we were just in talking stage. I had to give up on that. I had too much going on and that felt like an responsibility but it was fun to have daydreams that can help run away from this stress. But now i am just left with my family issues,past mistakes, responsibilities and my brain who doesn't know how or when to shut up. And i can't take it. I keep trying to get find the reason of these fears but nothing. I get no where then i get so overwhelmed and can't do simple tasks. Whoops just realized i can't ask what do do or help here. So umm yeah. Thanks for reading i am just overwhelmed.

I'm in a weird position rn...I don't really fear discovering that I'll be a bisexual because that makes me think that I can be with men then and that if I turn out to be bisexual I still wouldn't date women...it's the fear of being a lesbian that's predominant in my hocd but lately my mind tells me that since I don't fear being bisexual that much I might be one and since a few weeks whenever I come across the word bisexual it feels like I'm happy or something but I don't want to be ...I just want to be straight...does this happen? I don't know if what I said makes sense.