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the NOCD Community

was feeling a lot better today and then my friend sent me something that made me feel so much worse wheeeew

I can’t stop looking on Reddit or coming on this app or watching videos on ROCD! It’s driving me insane!! I just want this to stop!! I know I love my partner a lot but why can’t things go back to normal!!!! Is it bc I am in denial!?! I know when I say I love you to my partner I mean it... I want my relationship back!!!

Had anyone here completed TMS treatment for OCD? I completed mine 2 weeks ago but have been feeling constantly nauseous. Anyone else experience this? Does it subside? I'm trying to figure out what's causing all this nausea.

SOMEONE WITH POCD OLEASE HELP I THINK I SEXUALLY ABUSED A CJHILD. so there was a video where this 11 year old looked about 16. Im 17, and often tend to be attracted to 16 year olds . Idk if I felt attraction , or if it was just a simple “that’s a good looking person “Then the guy said he was 11 in that pic and I was shocked . Today as a compulsion and I went and looked at the picture again . I felt a groinal response , and again had a moment of “that’s a nice looking person “, it was similar to what I experienced the first time I looked at the picture . It lasted for 2 seconds . I was trying to gauge the age of the kid and how old the kid looked to make sure I was not a pedo . Now I don’t think I’m a pedo but I’m terrified that what I did was sexual abuse , because looking at kids for sexual gratification/ sexual curiosity is sexual abuse and want to puke

So i'm not in therapy right now for HOCD, but i'm trying to do my own exposure therapy, i'm trying not to avoid female friends or female stuff on tv or in videogames, sometimes i just get overwhelmed especially if I see stuff on tiktok or youtube? I also feel guilty because it's like, it feels like everyday theres smthn new to worry about? sometimes i get intrusive thoughts when i see surveys and stuff ask for pronouns?? i put she / her but then i get nervous and think "is that really my pronouns?" it's scary.. and then my brain is like "i'm a guy" and it's like "no??? i'm a girl" Everytime someone says "oh me and my girlfriends" i immediately think of a relationship between two women, sorry this is like a vent but can anyone else relate? :)

Does anyone else get it where they just don’t know if the relationship is worth fighting yourself for

What do people think about Ali Greymond? I used to watch her videos which was helpful but then I found some OCD therapists and advocates saying that she was a coach and that it’s more unethical??? But then again I’ve seen so many people saying they find her work very helpful.

To my fellow bisexual ladies (female presenting or AFAB) who have never been with women before but are in relationships with men... do y’all ever get the feeling of obligation or the need to at least see what it’s like to be with a woman?? I love my bf with all my heart and he completely supports my preferences. I know that I might not want to be with a woman romantically, but the sex just looks amazing. But I feel guilty. Idk. Ik these are just thoughts and that I love having sex with my boyfriend, but it’s just the weird fear of NEEDING to be with a woman just once. Am I the only one here?

Hey guys I’ve been wanting to rant and maybe someone will listen or give me advice but if not that’s fine too. (p.s not OCD related) I feel very lonely in life at the moment. I don’t have a large amount of friends. The friends I do have are not very close to me and they all have their BFFs but I’m just like on the outside of all the other friendships. One (or the only one) of the BFFs I had turns out to be a bit Transphobic and the trans community is a community I respect soooo much and it feels like a betrayal to that community to be friends with her (the person who’s a bit Transphobic) but i don’t wanna loose another friendship. Almost everyone has their friend groups and friendships and stuff but almost no one pays attention to me. And I try to give my all to any friendship big or small but the other person never seems to care. I’ve been thinking reaching out to classmates I rarely talk to but even that feels wrong. I don’t know what to do.

I'm feeling really overwhelmed and struggling with urges to engage in unhealthy coping skills. I feel so alone and like I just need the relief but I also know I really shouldn't. I don't know if it's bad enough to call someone for help, but regardless it hurts like hell...

That’s it I need to die!!! I feel anxiety!! I don’t wanna break up with my partner!!! But this feeling won’t stop!!! I don’t wanna replace him!!!!! 😭😭 I want my content & comfortable relationship back!!! 😖😖😭😭

I am like freaking out because I’m the past there were a couple of women who I like really looked up to and wanted their approval. I would really look forward to seeing them and talking to them, but now I heard that looking back lesbians realized that they disguised their crushes by saying them just wanted to be like the girls but they actually wanted to be with them. Now I am so worried that the feeling we’re too intense to be just admirations and they were actually crushes even though I never thought about them romantically or sexually. Ugh I just give up with this whole thing. I am so depressed

I am a 24yo girl and never had problems with my gender identity until december, 2020. This thoughts came from nowhere and bother me until today, I am struggling to discover what is true or not, let me explain and tell my history and experience. I had a history of obssessions that started on november, 2014. It was a tough time as well! I will do a list and put the year in the end. 1. I thought I had sex in the night club I was and my head kept telling me I was pregnant one day after, so I went to the drugstore and buy DIAD, even without knowing what really happened there. I did a lot of pregnancy tests too! Everyday. 2. I started to think that I lost my virginity there, so I went to the doctor and she told me that nothing happened to me. 3. Even with this information, my head kept telling me something bad happened and I started to think I was with HIV, so I had to do the test to calm my self down. But more obssessions came to me. 4. I started thinking if I really believe in God or not. 5. I started thinking if I was a lesbian or not. 6. Thoughts about being possessed by some demon or something alike. (2014/2015). 7. Obssessed in a bad way with a job I got, I had to quit, because as the other crisis, I couldnt sleep, I couldnt eat properly. (2017). 8. Obssessed with COVID-19, where everything I touched, led me to think I was contamined. There were days I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I was dying. I used a lot of hand sanitizer and my hands in that time was dry. (The skin). Happened on March, 2020. And now I will explain how this current crisis started: I ate something that wasn't good for me and I was physically sick. Out of nowhere, came a thought to me that I could be with stomach cancer. I will do a list with the thoughts that came right after: 1. If I really believe in god or not, for the second time. 2. If I was satanic or something like that. 3  If I was lesbian or not, again. 4. If I really liked my boyfriend, it led me to broke up with him. 5. If I like Kids sexually or not, I couldnt even stay close of my niece. That scared me a lot! 6. The trans. I was searching about consequences of child abuse, onde I suffered it when I was a kid and there I read something like "sexual identity problems" and then I researched what this means and after I couldn't find peace. I kept asking to everybody how I was when I was a kid, if I looked a boy, if I wished to be like a boy, but there is no evidence about it and I can't remember of something like that. Now everything in me bothers me because of these thoughts, I used to pay a girl to do my nails, even bought a dryer to take care of my hair but nothing makes sense now. My sexual parts looks strange, I can't even recognize my self and this never happened before all this things. I am really worried! I don't know who I am anymore. My hair bothers me too and this never happened, I used to like my hair a loooot and my Mother told me I never liked short hair, I have never been a tomboy, by the way and met some trans men and didnt make difference to me, but now I am doubting everything. I used to send nudes to my boyfriend and let him play with my parts and this never bothered me before, but now I keep thinking about it 24/7. That I am not satisfied with nothing that belongs to me... I even got two nipple piercings when I was younger. I don't know what is happening... people who is passing through this, I am accepting advices, some support. * I consider myself as a bisexual woman. I was diagnosed with GAD plus OCD symptoms, but here where I live they treat OCD very poorly.

Can anyone share their experiences with ROCD please ? I’m suffering

I’m beginning to notice more and more how OCD works...as soon as I get latched onto any bad thought about myself, I begin to believe it. How crazy is that. You believing your thoughts (not to call people crazy)...but just the phenomenon of it all. Like someone with OCD sees a rape, they think they could be a rapist. They see pedophelia, they believe they could be a pedophile. Your brain will latch onto these ideas and hold them hostage because you fear them. Just remember who you are under these circumstances...get some confidence back in yourself. Create objectives or wins for yourself everyday. And celebrate when you do good things. I believe my OCD absolutely came from my lack of confidence over the years and my brain rewired itself to always think of the worst possible outcomes. It’s so toxic

The diary of an POCD sufferer, getting treatment after 6 years of silence. I've just booked my 15 minute session through the app and I'm so scared. I've never spoken about my problem outloud. I just broke down histerically crying because I just commited to talking to someone through the app. I just commited to acknowledging my problem. The shame is so over whelming and I can't imagine being free of shame. I feel like I've lived my whole life by pretending to myself that my OCD doesn't exist, so I only remember that I have OCD when I'm triggered or I'm alone. I have developed a coping mechanism where I have a double life, and most of the time I feel fine because I distract myself. So now, doing treatment is going to make my problem feel so real. I've built up so many walls, so I know that if I acknowledge it, it's going to feel like im living a lie to everyone I love. I know I'm not ready to tell anyone about my POCD. I know I could just tell them I'm getting treatment for OCD but not mention the theme. But if I did that then i'd feel like I was living even more of a lie to them. I feel like I can't tell anyone im getting treatment, because they would probably think its something minor, but really I'm scared that I'm attracted to children. It makes me sick to even write it, how could I ever tell anyone that I love this? They would be so shocked and discusted. I don't know how im going to be around my boyfriend and not tell him that I'm getting treatment for OCD. I don't know how I am going to be around my friends, whilst knowing that just hours before I was breakind down about my mental health. I want to get better but I feel like I just want to be in the country side, alone. Where I can be with my shame and not have to hide it. Instead, I'm going to have to go through treatment in secret. It feels like all my walls are coming crashing down. The shame is too intense and i'm just scared it's going to break me. But I'm doing it for me.

Guys, do your partners trigger your rOCD?? I don’t know if I’m too sensitive or he’s saying something wrong, I get triggered by his jokes and by him teasing me. I know that it’s his personality, he makes maaaany jokes but now they’re triggering me more than ever. My period is coming and I think it has a huge influence on my mood and OCD...

I often have this ritual where I spend an hour or two a day just pacing around in my room listening to music while I let my mind wander and just get lost in my wildest fantasies. I've never been sure whether this is a compulsion or just some sort of personality quirk. Sometimes I do it just for fun, and I think it can help me come up with creative ideas as an aspiring artist, but I think I also use it as a means of escapism, so I can imagine something more pleasant than the miserable reality OCD thoughts create for me. Deliberately spending this much time in my head, oblivious to the world around me, probably isn't useful in learning to practice mindfulness and maybe is even a form of avoidance. Can anyone else relate to this odd habit of pacing/rocking/skipping to music for long periods to trigger your imagination? I don't do this every day, just whenever I get the whim, which is often multiple times a week. I've done this ever since I was a kid, even before my OCD really manifest itself that strongly to me. I'm not sure if anyone else ever does this.

Anyone else rather have any other ocd than HOCD

i read that if u feel happy from ur thoughts, it’s not ocd and it’s most likely being in denial. so i get happy sometimes from my thoughts and it terrifies me, now it’s terrifying me even more.