Welcome to
the NOCD Community

Anyone in a relationship ever get an urge to talk to someone they shouldn’t be?

Someone read ASAP bro. So my upstairs neighbor was being hella loud right? So I told my mom to tell them to be quiet but my mom said “oh they have a kid, it’s okay” basically she doesn’t want a problem and she’s the type to not use her voice to make it known she’s uncomfortable. Well okay... if she’s that type of person then I’ll take it into my own hands.. so I went up and confronted they were like “What? What noise...your crazy.. when we walk it has to make noise” I said “Idk it’s maybe three bed or chair idk if it’s walking” I told them just to be quiet so we don’t have a problem. She closed the door on me. Well okay. Am I wrong? Because my sister doesn’t use her voice I basically carry the whole family, because I’m the only one that uses my voice and speak up. Cause my mom doesn’t like problems and even if she felt uncomfortable she’ll won’t say anything.

I have a weird one idk if its OCD but I know im a decent guy, at least average looking but I feel like I need validation from girls. Its like i just want to know for sure if im attractive and how much is so… perhaps from a fear of not being good enough. With much reluctance and self-hatred i downloaded a dating app and actually did get matches and conversations, etc which surprised me and gave me like a “high” for a while and a sense of relief like “oh thank goodness I must be attractive then” but no matter what, somehow my anxiety would always find a way of convincing that I wasnt. Ie: if a girl and I werent compatible and she unmatched me I’d feel like I wasnt good enough, or if she asked me to hang out id just think she must be easy and says that to many guys etc. Like no matter what my anxiety prevails and despite the reassurance I got from actually doing decently well on this app, it has only left me feeling more anxious, rejected, depressed and confused. Is this OCD?

I’ve been getting intrusive thoughts about my siblings lately and I really hate it because they’re super super young , I think it’s stemming from my soocd but I’m really scared of developing pocd. Any tips to nip it in the bud early?

my therapist just told me he doesn’t know if this is ocd or avoidance. my greatest fears have just been confirmed.

Guys😔 I am so sad. Like sooo sad. I cannot stop crying. I am convinced I am a lesbian for sure and I never liked men. My feelings changed towards my now ex. I started having severe anxiety around him. I am not sure if it is my SOOCD or if I was never attracted to him to begin with. Either way we broke up and I’m so sad. I don’t want to be a lesbian but I do have sexual feelings towards girls. I enjoyed sex with my ex but maybe I didn’t enjoy it maybe I lied to myself. I cry myself to sleep every night and I’m crying right now. I feel trapped. I don’t know why I cannot accept if I was a lesbian and just be happy. I feel happy when I think about being with a girl like I stop crying and then I freak out again. I’m always looking for someone to tell me I’m not. But maybe I am. I don’t know I just know that I am so sad. Everyone would accept me if I was gay such as my mom, sister and friends but I wouldn’t. I don’t know why.

Racing thoughts.. Anyone dealing with super fast racing thoughts? They are sometimes nonsense. Even when they are not scary, my mind is just looping random conversations, songs.. its like super fast random stuff. Its so scary!!

Anyone else that can FEEL the front of their brain overwork itself? It seems like I can totally feel my brain all foggy. That’s because the front part of the brain is overstimulated right?

(I'm sorry for my English but I'm not native speaker) Hey im very stressed so I need to share my story. I think I have hocd for like 2 months. I'm so stressed to go to therapist because l'm scared that he won't be aware of ocd and he won't give me a good resonance in my case i don’t think that in my country it’s know topic. So I wanna ask you what you guys think of it. I'm so scared that I’m lesbian and I'm just in denial. I've never liked girls but l've never had bad feelings about homosexual people, I had lesbian friend and two gay friends and it was always normal for me, but I just always knew that I like boys because l've always had crushes on boys, I enjoyed reading love novels or erotic novels and it was what I knew I want. And I have a very good friend, we even call each other sister because since we met we had a lot in common, we were very comfortable with yourself, we were taking baths in bathtub together talking about boys and we were drinking wine and it was our tradition , we even kissed on party because we played truth or dare with boys and other girls and we never had second thoughts about it I asked even my sister if it’s weird and she said that she also kissed a girl when she was young and she also saw her friend naked.. she said that we all woman so that’s not weird and don’t identify my sexuality (I asked her now when I have this thought not then), it never even bother me because I knew it didn't meant anything in sexual or romantic way to me. But when I told my flat mate because he asked me how close we are because even tho we studying in different towns we still manage to have contact or to meet and I told him that she is like my sister, we know everything about our selves and I said "bro she saw me naked and we even kissed on party, so think she knows me better than anybody else" (we were 16 then and now l'm 20 and never had questioning my sexuality since now) and then he said "it's sound so lesbian, I think you are bi, for sure you are bi" and at first i was like yyy no and it didn't bother me really, but later I had a lot of stress.. final exams, and I don't know why but I was worried about my health so badly because somehow I thought that I have cancer and I felt very sick, I was vomiting from stress I was crying all night but I go to doctor and he said that I just have some problem with period but since then I was very unstable about my mental health and I started to think what if he was right and I stared to obsessing, I couldn't eat and sleep, I was crying for 3 days all the time, even my flat mates were worried and since then I'm so anxious that maybe he was right and my thoughts now tell my that for sure I like this and at the same time when I think about be with woman but not in sexual way but like be with her in relationships at first I think I want it but the Il'm so anxious so I think that's not the thing. But what is worrying me the most that nothing give me joy.. I'm bookworm I loved to read I loved romance novels and now I think I can't read them, I'm procrastinating (and I was always very active and I loved to study) I can't watch my favorite shows because there are homosexual couples and in the past it didn't bother me but now it is. I also wonder..In childhood because of my parents divorced and very bad situation in home (violence and My mom was twice in mental hospital because she had depression) when I was 6 my teacher saw that I had problems with stuttering and i had something like compulsive blinking (?) I was blinking like all the time and back then I was going to child psychologist because I was scared of people and I was reacting with crying and stress when someone were looking at me with anger (or I just thought that person is mad at me)But I thought that I gone through this. Can it have influence on my mental health right now? Please help me. I'm crying even while l'm writing it, I even had thoughts that's it's better to be dead than be lesbian and I'm very stressed because l'm worried that I will never like bovs again. I’m so sick of questioning every single move and tik tok and social media give me also a lot anxiety. Pleas help me.

distraction post: who is your comfort celebrity regarding mental health? like a celebrity who may have shared their struggle/experince and you may relate or maybe even someone who has raised awareness and you felt heard

TW: magical thinking ocd sometimes i avoid certain words bc my manifestation ocd (magical thinking) thinks if i read the word too much, my subconscious will attach to it and i’ll become it HAHAHA LIKE WHAT?? i know it’s ridiculous but like why does it make sense in to my ocd..

Really thought about whether or not to post this but I’m really struggling and wondering if anyone has gone through the same thing/what helped them out of it. I have fears of psychosis/schiz/delusions and I started having intrusive thoughts that sound and feel delusional even though I know they’re not true, and I don’t actually believe them. I obsess over whether I think they’re true and if I’m actually delusional, then I start to feel really disconnected and dreamy (like derealization?) but then I get worried that I’m actually dissociating and/or losing my mind. I rly struggle w these thoughts as they make me so uncomfortable and make me feel like I am delusional. I will reread things I wrote, rethink things I have already said to make sure they’re coherent, argue w my thoughts, constantly check to make sure I know who I am, where I am, know who my family is, etc. to ensure I’m not losing my mind. My themes switch from this, to harm ocd and I’m just really having a hard time w the thoughts mixed w the disconnected feeling. It makes me want to stay in bed forever and cry because I don’t wanna feel this way anymore. Any advice would be so helpful.

i havent really struggled with my HOCD since my last session in January, but i’ve kept having random moments where i keep asking myself if im a lesbian i know theres nothing wrong with it and even when i was younger i didnt think it was a big deal because you love who you love. and thats why i used to think i was pan bc ive never had feelings for a woman. but ive always believed if it feels good, go for it. i was so ok with finding women attractive but being touchy with him grossed me out and i dont really like the idea of actually dating a woman. i guess that caused my confusion on whether i was actually gay or not because it should be something you WANT, right? and i guess it would be easier for me to accept the possibility of me being gay if it felt good but i feel BAD like i know i shouldnt but i was kind of testjng myself by watching lesbian porn and masturbating to it. and seeing if it felt good. and then i felt like it did and i started to cry and think to myself “omg i am a lesbian” if i enjoy this 😭😭 ive never really watched lesbian porn but i can remember moments when i was little where i was attracted to the female body sexually. but never felt those feelings for anyone in real life. then with men i dont really see their bodies in a sexual way. ive only ever liked men, wanted to be around them all the time, and imagined a future with a man. like falling in love with them felt so amazing and the attraction is undeniable its just hard bc i wish i was unfazed by lesbian stuff like i used to be. bc now it makes my chest hurt and makes me wonder if im repressing myself but i know i truly dont want to be with a woman. but i cry at the thought of being a lesbian??? its so confusing bc i wonder if it all means something.. i wonder if i should meet with my NOCD therapist again 😭

Hey guys please please help. Again i started a new job but this one I actually do have legit reasons for not staying. It feels like high school. I feel like the other and there are actually people from my high school working there. Now this wouldn’t be a problem if i didn’t feel like i was totally just unaccepted and resented. Ive come from a pretty dark place. Im finally feeling stable and less depressed and i don’t want to work in a negative environment that might make me go back words again. My parents and my therapist both say that this I should just stick it out and not let others determine my happiness or that there are gonna be jobs that feel like hs and to stick to it. But i feel like i know what i need to do. Ive had jobs where i got along with my coworkers and actually liked them and it made work more fun. And i think that’s something that I need atm you know? Even though i do need certain things its not urgent and im not in a situation where i need to be super reliant on money. because of this i want to find something that i like to do because i like to do it and like the people there. Anyways i would love some insight from the community. Thanks everyone!

For my Christian peeps. Do not identify yourself as your desires or thoughts . Let God identify you. Jesus has a plan for your lives and whatever you’re struggling with he can take it away. Stop allowing your mind to say your that one accept him for Gods healing. Yes. Harm ocd. He can take it Yes. Pocd He can take it Yes. Even Same sex attraction if let’s say your thoughts are actual attractions, and you don’t want it. He can take it. I’ve seen it happen. I know people who’ve had that.

Most of the time I just feel like a major loser. I am 20 and I don't have a job because I'm scared to get one and I hardly have friends and I have never had a boyfriend. i still live with my parents too. I can probably graduate college next year and I am not ready. I dont know what I want to do after college and I feel like my life has no future most of the time. I will probably die alone because I have no idea how to even meet people and I am afraid I won't ever get my life together :(

Lol there’s no cure but hope y’all figure something out! Blessings from an uncured NOCD patient

My mind is telling me that I should enjoy the thoughts.. I was never like this. I was a loving person. I don’t even know what to do anymore and I don’t have access to therapy nor can I talk to my parents about this. It’s really hard. My mind attacks everything and I can’t just have peace with it. Also I read a comment on a live on YouTube that OCD is demonic and stuff like that. I’m in fear of snapping and going crazy, basically becoming what I’ve feared most of my life. My mind tells me every time I don’t pay attention to the thoughts that I’m dangerous and that I really do want them. And I fall into this trap of ruminating because I want all of this to stop. I don’t even feel like myself anymore. I feel like who I was some months ago would think I’m crazy. And that’s the scariest part. I feel like there’s no going back. Anyone feeling the same?😢

Does anyone else get overly stressed out when shopping for clothes? It doesn't matter whether its online or in stores I find it equally as stressful infact I spend hours, days sometimes weeks ruminating on whether to buy the clothes and when I eventually do I always feel like somethings not quite right and I regret buying them. Is this an OCD thing or am I just a weirdo lol

I'm obsessed that I look gay ? 😔