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Hi I really think and feel like I’m losing this battle, if it was ever that...

Is there anyone in here who is in recovery from alcohol and/or drugs?

I have a quick question. If I’m rationalizing why my fear of being arrested or having a lawsuit filed against me for some stupid shit makes no sense, am I helping or harming myself? I’m specifically worried about a Karen/a filing a lawsuit against me for “disturbing” them/causing them “emotional distress” for something stupid/existing or sending a friend request. Something that’s objectively not frightening/disturbing/distressful. I know lawsuits don’t work like this, but I can’t get past this fear of knowing someone can file something like this and having to deal with it, even though I’d know I’d easily win. Also I apologize for my use of Karen if it offends anyone- I just wanted to emphasize this notion of “feeling distress” in someone’s presence/their existence when there is nothing objectively there to be afraid of for them.

Many days ago, I joined an app. The app was full of communities. We usually get a lot of interaction with the almost like-minded people. So, I kind of like being there. (The problem is some of those people are rude, anyways, it is not what I wanted to write here). Main problem: I think that there is something important in other communities, message section, or in any feature of that app. I think that something is important I need to pay attention to. This thought was frequent before. I do not want this thought to come into my mind. Because it keeps on that app and keeps from studying, as that app is very stimulant. It does not let me focus. #OCD with I am missing out on something important Secondly, when I start making a list, my mind says that I need to take care of the old lists too. I mean, I need to do the tasks I wrote earlier on those lists. Moreover, my mind keeps on waiting for "ALL" the tasks to do to be written. To be honest, I have not been able to write all the tasks on to-do list for I guess 4 or 5 months, but my mind keeps on asking for more. It's very hard to recall everything that needs to be done. This halts my process. I really help. #OCD with list making I don't know If I have these OCDs. I have had OCD in the past, and now I am depressed, and maybe that's why my OCD has come back in different forms. My mind also wants to know If I really have OCD. If it is not OCD, I should then not get treated myself with OCD tricks my therapist applied on me. My mind also thinks that would ERP really work? I don't know why I am asking this question from a psychologist, as I had an experience while using ERP to treat religious therapy in the past, and it went well. Sadly, one bad thing happened, I became distant from religion. I have lost connection with God. I think it happened because of using ERP. My therapist asked me not to say sorry to anyone whatever may happen. Then, I followed her. She did remove my limiting beliefs, but then I think my Islamic beliefs also got removed. I am not able to connect with God as I was used to. Furthermore, this situation did not occur when my therapist did these things. It occured when I read about other religions and critical thinking. I think that I need to read all the books to get some or relevant information out of it. I also feel like I cannot complete THAT assignment because I won't be able to write 1200 words. I won't be able to complete it on time. Moreover, I have delayed it so many times, and I have not coordinated my issues to ma'am after once, so it is possible that my ma'am won't accept my assignment, therefore, my mind thinks that why to make an assignment when she won't even accept it? Why to make an assigment when she will give less marks even if she accepted? Well, I am a high scorer, and I need to work and I feel the need to get full marks in anything I do. I am really tired. There are so many books to read, and I am not able to decide which one I should read first. Some 90 days, my cell phone got snatched, and also some 15 days ago, my cell phone got stuck, and all the data had to be erased, so I am very much converned about data loss even before writing anything. When I read from a book, even if I highlight it, I worry that I won't be able to find it faster as I find something from a pdf, and it stops me from reading from a book. It is very bad for me. I think that I might tell someone something wrong, so I do not tell them, and my fellows are very demanding. They say I need to help them out all the time. They even complained to one of my professors that I do not help them out. Illogically, my professor also put her burden on me while saying I should help my class mates. I have told her that their behaviour with me is very wrong. They criticize me. Still, she kept on insisting that I should help my fellows (instead of her, as it is her work, and the classmates were also asking for help from her in the first place).

I’ve convinced myself that I molested my cousin who is 1 and 1/2 years younger than me when we were kids. When we were about 6 or 7 (could have been younger) we got under the covers and pretended to “play adult” and we just rubbed each other’s arms and backs and that’s all I remember. I’m in group therapy and this one girl said her 14 year old cousin molested her 7 year old and her story triggered my thought to when I was a kid with my cousin and had me thinking “am I like that person?? Did I do those things??” When in reality I didn’t. My therapist and psychiatrist told me the behavior I experienced with my cousin is child sexual exploration and it’s normal developmental age. I told my cousin about it and she had no idea what I was talking about and said it’s normal for kids to do things like that. Can someone please help me??? I was so young and didn’t know any better. Just needing advice. I feel horrible right now. This thought is debilitating and It’s making me feel so bad.

discussion!: who here is a believer that ocd can be “cured(no symptoms/minimal).” who is a believer that we will have to put up w this for the long run. i’ve read so many mixed stories and i’m real curious what people think/ what their goal is for recovery. let’s spread some hope if we can in the comments. i’m feeling like i only have a few more turns left on this road to recovery, but i am not sure exactly what that means even tho i’m going thru it. i know i will always have the thoughts as they can’t be “removed”from my mind. but it’s almost as if they are turning into memories i can recall when i remember associations w them. ok that’s all but a discussion on this would b cool :^]

I can not live with all of this episodes I had eve since ocd attached to my religion I feel like just feeling that I committed the unpardonable sin makes me feel sometimes that I shouldn’t be alive or that should of had die when all of this started happening there is days when I have hope but there is others where I feel like this😔

I wish I could just watch TV like normal. I'm always like "she's pretty/skinny" but never think it about guys (I am a straight woman) and that makes me anxious. I was never really one of those girls that had pictures of famous guys. So whilst feeling anxious, I anticipate any intrusive thought/mental compulsion, which makes me have an intrusive thought cos I'm just waiting for it. Cos I'm starting to accept better that I AM straight and the "I'm gay" thoughts are OCD, it's now trying the "I'm bi" as a way to keep the OCD present even though I KNOW that I am straight. I don't like the idea of being with a woman (gosh my anxiety/OCD brain is triggering me by being like "you might like it if it happened" or you never know unless you try - but I do KNOW). Dammit! I just want to watch TV, sometimes I become so aware of where I am looking when I watch it, it's like "do I just stare at their face" (shows clothes for example) "or do i look at the clothes?" "Whats normal? How do normal look at the people on TV? How do I even HUMAN??!" 😒

This is a question for really anyone. Growing up I didn’t have a ton of friends, but in my later teens, early twenties i met a group of guys that I would hang out with. One of them I became really good friends with and I looked up to him as a brother, mainly because he was a few years older. He was basically everything I wanted to be, funny, smart and very charismatic. It was a very Tyler Durden/ fight club type scenario. We would hang out one on one and sometimes just drive around and BS, or talk about relationships, girls, etc. My OCD/HOCD is now attacking it as if I was attracted to him romantically or some other bullshit and I wanted to be around him because of that. Honestly I never had a fleeting thought of romanticism towards him back then, I just thought it was cool to hang out with someone I admired and wanted to be like and was essentially the older brother I never had. Does/did anyone else have this type of friendship or relationship? Does it sound “gay” I guess (he’s married with a kid now, I’m obviously dealing with HOCD but never felt any type of sexual feelings toward)?

Hey please anyone active I need someone to talk to not about reassurance not ocd related

How do I do exposure for obsessions about being a lesbian or fears that I don’t love my boyfriend well enough or fear of becoming lesbian?? Anyone else have this problem??

My life was so different before this theme hit. My boyfriend had just left for boot camp and so I was working on myself and trying to grow and I was making so much progress. I was working on opening up about my feelings, learning how to trust others and really learning so much about my emotions. I was learning how to cook, trying out different hobbies, roller blading, playing video games and for a small glimpse second it felt like I could finally see a future for myself. The future I wanted. I could see myself going to college, becoming a teacher, traveling, and if I was lucky enough I’d have my partner by my side. The reason this all started was because in December I was trying to work out why my intimacy with my partner wasn’t as good as it should be and why I felt disconnected at times. I thought I wasn’t attracted to him or that I was forcing it but in reality I have low self esteem, a fear of abandonment and other fears and worries around sex. So the thought popped in of “Am I not enjoying it very much because I’m gay?”. I dismissed it but then a few days later I thought a new friend of mine was very pretty and again, “Does this mean I like her?” After two weeks of ruminating I dismissed it until my friend came out as bi and after that it never went away. Since then everything has become a blurry mess and that small glimpse of hope I had for my future is gone. I just don’t know anymore and it breaks my heart. I’ve never been one to give my life over to a man but I did always imagine I’d have a great guy by my side. Now it’s all on pause and it really hurts, I feel distant from my now partner, distant from my goals and future, distant from friends and family. It really feels like I want to be with a woman and the idea of that just puts everything on hold. How could I possibly be happy with anything I used to want for myself if I have to be with a woman? There’s so much I haven’t done with a man that I want to do , so much to explore but it feels fake now. I wish I could get back into the same groove as before and try to work on myself, but my heart just isn’t in it. It feels like everything I believed in was just a lie to cover up my “true” self. :/

Alcohol and OCD: A cruel mistress! Hi all. I wanted to share my thoughts and potentially start a discussion about the role of alcohol in OCD. Certainly in my case I think it is a fundamental contributor to my suffering, and I'm not surprised about the statistics related to how many OCD sufferers also suffer from problematic drinking. My current obsessive themes are Real Event/guilt OCD and are often related to situations and events where I was incredibly drunk with fuzzy and missing memories, or my drunkenness contributed to certain actions that I now obsessively regret. Whilst this was in the past, alcohol is still contributing to my suffering, and I'm starting to wonder whether I would be much happier without it. I find that after sometimes months of feeling fine, most if not all of my major relapses have occurred directly after a night of heavy drinking, and that spark has sent me spiralling for days and sometimes weeks. I then became obsessed about limiting my drinking in certain situations, I had a fear that if I was drunk I would end up committing some horrible crime or cheating on my partner. Now though I'm finding that I'm drinking moderate amounts of alcohol on a very regular basis, just to take my mind off my obsessions, which is very unhealthy. When I have a drink, even just one, it feels like my thoughts just almost vanish in importance, it's like a beautiful break from all the suffering. This feeling scares me a little and I now worry that I might be verging on some form of dependency on alcohol. I'm not looking for any reassurance here, just wanted to share my experience and chat with others who might also be struggling in this way.

Does anyone want to chat with me? I’m not looking for reassurance, I’m just feeling really upset and anxious and would love some encouragement. 😢

Who else constantly wishes they could go back to their old self? A time when you didn’t have such horrible obsessions. It made me realise, you only appreciate what you have when it’s gone. I’d do anything to have my sanity back

Has anyone else become obsessed with something related to politics or news? For the past two weeks I can’t stop thinking about one issue and I end up researching it endlessly. And when I’m not researching it I’m ruminating on it constantly, basically from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. I want to stop thinking about it because it’s exhausting but I feel like I can’t. I don’t know if this is my OCD manifesting or if I just have an obsessive brain and fixate on things. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Any tips on ERP for this?

I’m so scared that I do have ocd but I am also in denial. Like it’s so obvious now that I do all these compulsions and things, but I’m so scared that I’ll get better and find out that I am gay/ bi, and I was just in denial whilst also having ocd about it.

Hi, I have this problem everytime I feel asleep I feel like I hear something inside my head, feels like I have television inside my head playing an advertisement and it is loud enough that I can hear it. I am in the stage of confusion if I only hear it thru my ears or thru my head but 80 percent sure that I am not hearing thru my ears but loud enough that I can hear it in my head. I don't know what's happening actually. I am so confused right now. By the way my currently fear is having a multiple personality disorder. Your comment will be much appreciated.

I used to think like aw how sweet this girl thinks I’m cool enough to hug when receiving affection from female friends it was like “Yay I’m one of the girls” but now it just makes me insanely uncomfortable. Today I was taking pictures at my banquet and my friend cupped my face in her hands and did a kissy face for the picture and I felt like running away. Before it wouldn’t have bothered and I would’ve gone along with the picture but ugh no, not today. I guess the new “cycle” of this stupid theme is whether or not me liking affection means I like my friends. 🙄

I sometimes say I'm gay like I can't control it ?