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What are your coping strategies to get through ERP in a positive way?

Funny. We speak to so many people a day, and while we may drop the occasional depression joke, as most people do, depressed or not, they will never know that we are in fact actually in pain. Funny how we can go out days laughing and talking and playing games with our friends, but if they could only see inside, they’d find a person who needs help. A person who’s being torn apart from the inside out by their own mind, and someone who lives in constant fear of themselves. Who’s always staring a monster in the eye, a monster created by themselves against their will. It’s just so interesting to me how a person can experience this without it being known. Sorry if this was a bit cringe, just kinda came to mind.

Anyone else struggling with contamination OCD more than usual since covid? I have contamination OCD that has spiraled out since covid which causes my anxiety and panic disorder to spiral out too. I was checking my temperature 6 times a day, my hands are raw from washing them so much, I have only been able to go to work then I have to rush home to shower, etc. I am just starting out on my exposure therapy journey, so hopefully it will really help. I feel like everything has covid and I can't rest until I have sanitized EVERYTHING! Does anyone else feel this way? What is one thing that has really helped you?

I suspect I have HOCD "that was porn induced" making me think I'm Bisexual when I've always been straight (I'm 25 y.o with no history of OCD), and I can't afford therapy nor get in touch with NOCD therapist because they're not available in my country so I can't get a proper diagnosis but I guess ERP won't harm even if I don't really have HOCD. Do you have any tips and steps to follow in order to do self ERP to overcome my OCD and the confusion? Thanks

What kind of mental disorder is ordering books you'll never read, researching vitamins and pills and never taking them, doing research on end and never following steps?

Should you leave a good guy that you've been with longterm who treats you right, are able to be 100% comfortable with him, talk to him about anything, take care of eachother when were sad. and I tell him good and bad news right when I find out, just cause you don't have feelings? I've been with him for 6 years.

This is a weird thing but is anyone else around the 19, 20 age and never had a relationship or been kissed? My anxiety and OCD are taking that today ansand making me obsess over why. And it is making me feel like an ugly loser :(

cw// long, vent, mentions of grooming last night i had one of the worst TOCD attacks i’ve had in a while and i think i ended up AGREEING with a thought. i am so terrified. basically when i was ruminating on something i said when i was probably around 12-13 (i think i had the thought of “if i were a man, i would be gay” despite the fact that i now identify as a cis wlw) and i just spiraled from there. i couldn’t stop thinking about that one event. i’ve actually come back to this one specific thought several times over my OCD journey and the more i come back to it, the more visceral my reaction is to it. after spiraling and freaking out over thinking about it for around 5 minutes, i think i agreed with the thought. i was like, “would a cis person have this thought?” and my brain went, “no, this means you’re in denial” and suddenly the thoughts just stopped. like my paranoia stopped for a second. i think i shocked myself so much with agreeing that my brain couldn’t think for a bit. and then i just had this awful paralyzing fear make its way through me and i felt like i couldn’t breathe. it felt like i was back in 2020 when my TOCD obsessions were at their worst. it felt like there was a hole in my chest and i started crying. i had to get up out of bed and go online and take a bunch of quizzes for reassurance that i actually had ocd, and that i didnt have gender dysphoria. i KNOW i have OCD, and i KNOW i’ve never experienced real gender dysphoria, despite being uncomfortable with my gender once or twice when i was VERY young and being influenced by people who (i think) possibly groomed me. i don’t remember. and i think not remembering people who may have groomed me is really messing with me now and how i’m perceiving myself. in 2019 i was the happiest i’d ever been, BECAUSE i felt so comfortable with myself. i felt so incredible presenting as a woman and using my pronouns, better than i’d ever felt before. it felt like i really found my place in the world since i had always been insecure. i just feel like all of that has been ripped away. and i feel like even typing out that i’d been uncomfortable with my gender one time when i was like, 12, MEANS that i’m trans. i just don’t know what to do anymore. one day in 2020 i just was struck with a thought of “what if you’re trans?” and it never left my mind. i remember the exact day i had it and the first thing i did (i now realize) was compulsively make a list of reasons of why i was/was not trans, and the compulsions just spiraled from there. even after i had seen and experienced all the evidence that i have OCD, i still feel like i’m lying to myself.

I have real event ocd and other themes that I’m kind of ashamed of to even talk about, but overall I kind of feel like sometimes I don’t really deserve help, anyone else? Sometimes I wonder if it’s not even ocd and all the thoughts are real and mean something about me. Which if that’s true than I’m definitely helpless. Sorry this is kind of negative

I dont know what to do now. I am starting to obsess about people and even government or police about discovering my web browser. I already knew that nothing is Impossible when It comes for technology. And the thing is, I really never searched about anything illegal, but I think that usually normal things that I searched are wrong, unethical or even illegal. Some years ago when I first developed my pocd, I ended up destroying a Hard Drive I had on my really older PC that I didnt even used for years anymore. I obsessed a lot about It. Told my mom, my father and sister and even a pastor about It. Its was like 2018 I guess and when I used to go out of my house I would panicking while being or even passing by a child. I had many intrusive thoughts that would say this or that and even images that tortured me for the past years and made me believe I was really a monster. I think most part of the reason why my pocd started was because a event that happened on my life, a mistakes I made when I was a child. Basically I have a older sister, that is like almost 10 years older and I was only 12 I think in the time when I disrespected her, as all my family used to sleep together because in the time we didnt had the financial condition of having other bedrooms. I dont think going in details os worth It, and even can make my ocd worse, because I am venting here, but also confessing. It happened I dont know, many times, but so long that this happened and eventually I got caught. And this was good because know I am a better person and better man, my family corrected me and showed me the right path to follow. I have repented and asked forgiviness and as time passed I regained the love and trust of my sister and now we do everything for eachother, protecting and helping. My mother passed away due to covid in dec last year (Will always be the best person God put in my life and my best friend) and tomorrow is ver birthday. She teached me how to live this live, about good and helped me be the person I am today. Some time later I got diagnosed with ocd by my psychiatrist and he prescribed me meds to help with the intrusive thoughts, one of them being sertraline. After a long time of treatment, the pocd intrusive thoughts lowered, giving place now to my real event ocd. One thing that helped me a lot was somewhat exposing myself to movies, news and things like that that could distress me with pocd and without noticing, I started to care less about the thoughts and "almost" doesnt bother me anymore. Now what tries to take my peace away is real event ocd. I am not going to be desperate about my pc and things like that, like before I did. And one of my concerns was because I had really bad time with watching porn. Ive been fighting the urge to see It, even more now. I really Just want to be in peace. I think I am going to diaappear from the nocd app for some time, mainly now that I really exposed my history here for real another time because I scared of my thoughts again and scared again that I am a horrible person. Sorry for everything. Hope everyone be ok and safe, yall have a nice day <3

I just want to say... ERP WORKS! I cannot compare the amazing feeling achieved from facing our fears compared to the temporary “relief” from doing our compulsions. I know it’s scary at first but it’s so worth it!

My boyfriend keeps commenting on my weight and suggesting I should go on a diet. I'm 5'5 and weight 135 pounds... I'm also an athlete. This is making me have serious body dismorphia and I'm obsessing on whether or not I'm fat and need to lose weight or he is just off the rails 🤔 It's so annoying.

is it just me or some days you're so convinced you're gay/bi and you're "accepting" it(the thoughts seem so real like you want them, but in reality you don't and they bother you) and others you're like super certain you're straight? or am i really gay? please help i am freaking out

can someone help me plz this boy at my schools mum just told me that he likes me. and she asked me if he asked me out would i say yes. and in that moment i said yes. and now i’m panicking. i feel like i’ve lied and i’ve never had a bf so i’m freaking out. i’m not as young as this all sounds haha. i’m 15 abs yes. i’ve never had a bf

Hey I really need someone to help me so please reply if you can. But basically I'm still getting LOADS of intrusive thoughts about this theme, but the thing is I have zero distress about it. The idea still bothers me and i still realise i don't want to be with a girl, but even imagining scenarios does not bother me at all anymore. Like i realise it is not that bad so i don't need to be disgusted by it but the fact that I'm not disgusted by it anymore makes me feel like i want it or something. I just want to be with a man.

Having some absolutely terrifying existential thoughts for the past 2 weeks that keep me awake every night in fear of literally everything. I am overthinking every single aspect of existence and my brain is telling me I NEED an answer to things that are unknown (why consciousness exists, why good is good and bad is bad, what happens after death, if there is something greater than us.) never had these thoughts before about 3 months ago and now they’re absolutely horrendous. Anyone have any experience with this or recovery stories? Any tips on how to deal would be greatly appreciated. My exposures seem to just be stressing me out a lot more with no relief thus far.

how do i know if i want a thought? i don’t want to want the thoughts. im scared. it feels like there’s somebody telling me that i want them. like every time i say “i don’t want the thoughts”, it feels like a voice is saying “no you do” and it feels so real. help pleasee!! it feels like im losing my mind!!!

I genuinley can’t do this no more, I just want someone to listen and understand- I have started reading stories about girls realising they were gay from a young age and stuff like that and I match some of the symptoms. I used want to talk to “the cool girls” in olde years or if I got any attention from them I’d be buzzing. However ever since I got ocd I realised maybe it’s cos I like them? however I never fantazized about anything sexual or romantic it was genuinley like me wanting them to be my big sister or something. I’m so confused rn idk what to do and now I feel like I’m in denial and it’s making me think all the boys I think I’ve liked I haven’t :-(

Can sexual orientation ocd make you gay? I used to freak out A LOT but now the thoughts don't bother me as much and that makes me think that I might actually be gay😥

Guys try these techinques if you can't afford therapy. • 5-4-3-2-1 method (means that when you have obsessive thoughts, feelings, urges you can use this grounding tool to smoothe yourself; you describe 5 thinks you see( colors, textures, etc), 4 things that you can hear(how loud it is, it is nice, bad etc), 3 things you can touch( the same, describe it )2 things that you can smell and 1 thing that you can taste • daily affirmations : you cand write 3 times a day and even when your thoughts are spiraling a few phrases that can help you get beside them( Oh, again this unreal and irrational thought/feelings/urges. These will pass. It is an another opportunity to get over them and to get in touch with myself(you can write wathever resonates with you, search on google a few) •label the thoughts and feelings and give them funny names • stop the rumination by recognising it, labeling it and distract yourself by keep doing what you were doing before • Really important one: DON'T ENGAGE WITH THE THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, URGES NO MATTER HOW TRUE THEY FEEL. We can't control what thoughts, feelings, urges pop up but we can control our attitute towards them and how we respond/ react to them. Plus, the only reason why they feel true is because of the adrenaline that anxiety lets out. But don't forget: after a while the body gets used to the anxiety, the exercices work or the body numbs out and you remain with the thoughts wothout the anxiety. You keep doing the work because they still are intrusive and you will be better in time. Keep in mind to don't try to get rid of them, you accept them for existing, accept them that they are not true or who you are and keep doing wathever you have to do( work, draw, idk) • breathing techniques you can find a lot of them on google • a CBT exercice: when you have a thoughts choose what it is from the table of cognitive distorsions and change the thoights with a more empowering one,a more real one for example: I really feel attracted to that person and I want to cheat -> That person is good looking, attraction it is normal, but i don't trully know them and how they are to the core of their heart. I chose my boyfriend because I love him, he loves me and i trully know him inside-out, because these are only intrusive thoughts and because it is not a smart reason to be with someone because of their looks or because their first or superficial impression that they left on you( you can never know a person't true intentions with you). There are two saying that i love: If you run after two rabbits you will loose both of them. If you are running after more you can end up loosing and what you alreadu have. Keep in mind that love is a choice, it is build in time, and to maintain a relationship based onky on feelings it is not realistic. • listen to differnt calming sounds while you work, walk, etc • don't forget to do at least one thing that you love every day, don't get stuck only on recovery because you will feel burned out, you need and to do things that you enjoy • delay compulsions, to the backwards or do the opposite of them • remember that having a feeling, a thought, an urge does not make it more likely to act on it • remember that you will find resistance within yourself while you are healing because the brain will look for what it is common to it. Label it and keep doing the work. The resistance can be something like don't wanting to do the exercices, excess anxiety when you are doing the right thing, etc If I remember something that maybe I have forgotten i will write it in the comment section guys