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i usually only reply on this app, but i’m on vacation and my OCD & depression are acting up big time! not looking for reassurance but if anyone has any kind words, i’d really appreciate it :)

i just feel so sad

So... I'm afraid that I'm actually a p... ⚠️ [IF YOU HAVE SEXUAL ORIENTATION OCD. PLEASE DON'T READ THIS!! IT WILL BE TRIGGERING] ⚠️ I used to have sexual orientation ocd (which at time I didn't know about) When I was 11, I had intrusive thoughts that I was gay... And it was the same thing as the pocd. It was a on-off situation. Sometimes I thought I was gay and I was terrified of it, other times, it was... 'no. There is no way I'm one'. Same with the first years of pocd. One day, when I was 20, my dad asked me what was my sexuality and I replied "idk. I really don't think about it" (I half lied because I was afraid he'd hate me) but he told me he'd be ok with anything and the weight I carried over the years disappeared... I finally felt I could maybe see if I was gay or not. (at the time I didn't know that sexual orientation ocd was a thing) and that I could be myself and go after woman without guilt. (yes. My parents were the reason I was terrified I was gay) And surprise!! I'm actually gay! And now... There is so much resemblance with pocd! What if I'm actually a p? But the only reason things are holding me down it's because it's seen as a bad thing by society? I have cured myself from incest ocd and zoophila ocd.... But I'm still stuck on pocd... And I'm terrified...

Has anyone else smoked w33d and felt as if all your emotions, problems and mental illness had a voice and could control your body. The best thing i can compare it to is the movie inside out. All these voices in my head but when i was h1gh it’s like they were on speaker and everyone could hear. I felt as if i was out of my body like from the movie get out, i was just in the hole watching everything and all the voice control my body. I also felt as if everyone was secretly talking about me or hated me. My anxiety, and mental problems seemed to sky rocket. this has happened two times before the first time wasn’t that bad would happen every 15 minds or so, the second to last time i felt as if i was out of my body like from the movie get out so i stopped for a long time because it scared me and this time i had voices and and the out of body. I went to sleep to try to help it but it only caused the voices to stay inside my head they were no longer on speaker, i went back to sleep throughout the night and today i feel like my anxiety and problems have sky rocketed like i said. my boyfriends grandma said that really scared me because this had happened to my boyfriend and it has caused his OCD to sky rocket and i’m scared and worried it’s happened to me to become it hasn’t gotten much better than last night. To add insult to injury last night when i woke up from my first nap i went onto instagram and joy from inside out popped up on my phone and the scared the heck out of me. I’ve read that if you have underlying or potential mental illnesses that w33d can cause them to come out ten fold.. i worry that my boyfriend thinks that i’m faking this or trying to “copy him” we didn’t have the same experience while high but i can’t help be stuck on and scared he might think that.

I think I’ve been accepting my thoughts the wrong way bc I’m accepting them as true and that if it were to ever happen I’ll accept 😭 so how am I supposed to do this again.?

Hey All! so ive had harm ocd for 3 years as of now, and at first i would get the thoughts of harming loved ones and then feel sick to my stomach and then snap out of it , but now im catching myself thinking about it for HOURS & its making me think i actually would do it 😒 on the positive note ive has this app deleted for 3 months as i didn’t have harm ocd for that long until when day i thought about it possibly coming back after i felt “ normal “ again and i swear each time it comes back on it feels worse

This might really triggering for some people, but it’s about pedophilic sexual intrusive thoughts Does anyone else sometimes feel so scared that might actually be a pedo because of what they are imagining about children involving children, like can intrusive thoughts include yourself in the thought hurting a child instead of just an inappropriate image of a child or something, I hope that makes sense I feel so tired and sick to my stomach that what my intrusive thoughts are imagining are real... idk what to do anymore

How do you just “ignore the thoughts”. Say a thought pops up what do you say to them or do?

So tempting to try to get an evaluation to see if I’m a narcissist

Ahaha triggered

I have a question. When I was younger (like, maybe 10, 11, 12) I remember one night looking at a video of lesbians kissing (I mean y’all I spelled it lezbian that’s how young I was) i remember having a groinal response. I’m pretty sure that that day in school, someone mentioned gay and lesbian people and I had no clue what that was. So I think that’s why I looked it up. I never watched it again after that night, had never had any sexual questioning, and knew I was heterosexual. I was in LOVE with so many fictional male characters and have been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend for almost 6 years next month. Fast forward to now, I am suffering with HOCD. And my mind is telling me that me watching that video forever ago was actually me being a lesbian and I just didn’t realize it. Does anyone know the correlation between these two things? Not really reassurance seeking, mostly seeking information because I genuinely do not know if watching lesbians making out once as a kid means I was a lesbian, just didn’t know it. Thanks.

Ugh i feel like I’ve posted about this a lot but I’m just so confused rn. This was my ocd experience at first: - intrusive thoughts - anxious a lot - crying every night - seeked reassurance a lot and was able to be reassured that I wasn’t what I feared but this didn’t last too long - knew that I wasn’t what I feared but my brain would still tell me that I was And this is my experience now: - depressed - numb/feeling “off” - guilt and shame - feel like I’m faking everything - not feeling like myself - feeling detached from everything and reality - not knowing what’s true anymore - reassurance doesn’t work anymore - feeling like I am what I fear I don’t know what’s happening but why do I feel like ocd became reality😞 I hope I get out of this

I’m 20, and all I wish for in this life is to be romantic and sexual with a woman my age and above... that’s it...

Anyone else who has an obsession about commiting sins, can we talk? Anyone who got better from this obsession? And I'm not talking about the unforgiveable sin here; things like watching movies and stuff.

hi everyone. i found out that i have ocd recently. i went to different psychiatrists and they never told me that but now when i think about my past i understand that i have had ocd since childhood. now i experience rocd and it’s really hard. when i met my boyfriend i noticed that he is not perfect (appearance) but i felt that i like him really and i wanted to kiss him and to have sex with him. also it was really interesting to chat with him and to talk. but this thing with appearance wouldn’t go away. when he was away i checked videos and photos to calm down and to tell myself that he’s okay, anxiety passed away for several hours and then it came back. but i realized i have had ocd only after 3 month we have been together. i even broke up with him because i thought it would help, but obviously it didn’t because i felt that i like to spend time with him. and lately i understood that it was one of my compulsions. now it’s really hard. sometimes i think that i like everyone except him and that it will never go away, but during past week my anxiety (i do exercises and sit with my fears) went from 10/10 to 7 or even 6 out of 10. when i feel anxious i think that i just hate him and i even experience nightmares with him where he looks like really scary, not like in reality. sometimes i can’t talk to him on facetime because i think that he is ugly when thoughts about this go away my brain makes new ones – he is stupid, you never liked him, you didn’t feel sympathy it was all an illusion. it’s really hard cause before i never knew how to DEAL WITH IT cause no one told me i need to live through this anxiety without trying to make it pass away. sometimes i feel i hate him and i’m not interested about anything about him and my brain tells me to just break up but i know this is one of mechanisms to remove the anxiety. i know i liked him really but sometimes i think “does this really worth it if i fell like this?” but i know that i feel like this cause i just acknowledged that i have ocd and cause i never really coped with my anxiety in the right way. you know, it sucks when you understand that you had really bad ocd past 3 years and it affected relationship with friends and studying and like all life??? but you thought it was depression and doctors just gave you pills that never really helped you and now you can’t stop taking it cause you have really bad anxiety that will rise if you stop taking pills that you have taken for years. (i will stop taking it and now i go to new doctor and trying to find a doctor that will help me with my medicaments) but i know i can handle it and i want to know that i’m able to love and to build any kind of relationship without fear… i know that i’m okay and that i will be okay because now i know how to handle this… but sometimes i think that i can’t handle.. but deep inside i know I CAN. and also sometimes i think that i don’t have ocd and i made it up just to avoid the difficulties. but also i know that it’s one of the symptoms of ocd. if anyone goes or went through this please reply i would be happy to talk sorry for my mistakes english is not my native language

I feel so anxious now it’s feeling like I I would look bc I’m attracted to kids bodies 😣 but it doesn’t make sense bc I don’t but what if I do? I keep getting anxious and groinals it feels like I would look bc I like them when I don’t wanna look but it makes feel like I do or what if I have urge to if they’re changing or something idk why I can’t stop thinking about it it’s making me sick. And yesterday I was finally feeling a bit more calm then I wake up to this that if I can’t stop thinking abt it that must mean I like it and that I am a pedo when I don’t want that.

I’m sorry I am posting too much but is it normal for ocd to convince you it’s real? This is why I’m freaking out so much lately because it’s convincing me it’s real. Sometimes I’ll literally be like “accept it you’re a p” and be absolutely depressed for that day like not be able to function or feel an ounce of anything but then the next day I’ll be like “why did you think that, I know I’m not” oh god oh god this is horrible

Has anyone had a positive experience with meds? I feel like OCD has affected my life so much that I need them even after months of therapy (not ERP with a specialist though).

I broke up with my gf. We did it on good terms. But it's difficult to deal with. Any advice?

Hi. I'm a 25 year old. I haven't been diagnosed with OCD but I've struggled with intrusive thoughts and anxiety for a long time. It comes and it goes. I first started obsessing about one direction (I know haha) to the point that it distressed me, then I started obsessively thinking about death and how much that scared me. Then I read about solipsism somewhere and I completely lost it. I got extremely scared, couldn't stop thinking about it, and then I convinced myself that even if I couldn't be sure of other people's presence, I would try to find evidence of anything wrong to prove to myself that everything was real. For example, when I would come out of the bath, I would look at my towel and see if it was wet, click pictures of it so that later my mind couldn't convince itself that it wasn't wet (and thus impossible and so everything was unreal). I had a lot of weird things that I would check. Then I got over it once I went to college. In college I started obsessing about relationship, that what if I didn't really love my partner etc etc, and then would check my feelings all the time, and judge my boyfriend's character. It's been four years since and slowly I got used to the feelings and stopped checking my feelings but still got the occasional flare upz nothing I couldn't handle though. Now the past month my boyfriend got very busy and I got scared that you know was he losing feelings for me, I was feeling very insecure, and then I started feeling like what if I wasn't comfortable around him anymore, couldn't be myself etc etc (which is a big deal for me cause I'm not comfortable around most people) and then I got so scared of that, that I thought that if I can feel like this for my boyfriend, I can feel like this for anyone. Then I started getting scared for other people also, and then I started feeling like this with my MOTHER! I got very scared. Shes my best friend and now I wasn't feeling comfortable around her, didn't know what to talk etc etc. Then I started thinking about solipsism again and while researching on it i came across a post on instagram where a guy was suffering with solipsism and harm ocd where he felt like if he felt nothing was real then what was stopping him from harming others. I got very scared on reading this, and then I started thinking about it. Currently it's like my mind alternates between thinking about not feeling comfortable around my boyfriend and my mom, or solipsism, or harming people if I feel like this. So I just don't know what to think, what to do. I feel very alone, and I don't even know what I'm dealing with! I tried therapy but I didn't like my therapist, she was a lot more concerned about the content of my thoughts than my patterns of thinking, which I don't think is the issue. I'm also trying hard not to click pictures of things to make myself believe that things are real or whatever. And so I have nothing to do other than sit with the thoughts. I don't even know what I'm looking for here, just want to find someone who understands.