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I just wanna love my life. I DESERVE IT WHY CANT I HAVE IT. I AM SO TIRED I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE. I NEED MY LIFE. I HAVE SO MANY DREAMS SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO! OCD DESTROYS MY LIFE. DIZZINESS, PINS AND NEEDLE'S, DIFFICULTY BREATHING, BREATHING TICS ARE DESTROYING mY PEACE. It's so so sad I'm 17 years old and I suffer since 9. OCD is something I would wish even to my worst enemy and I tell this with my whole heart. I wish it wouldn't exist. I need my life back. I am crying , I am worrying especially health anxiety. I can't be that bad anymore. This has to stop. I can't worry constantly about if I have a serious illness, about during or paralyzing, about becoming blind, about becoming crazy. This is insane!!!! Who the f@@k asked me and gave me these feelings. I want to be normal. I WANT TO F@@KING LIVE MY LIFE

I see and OCD specialist and she is on vacation for 2 weeks. When I tell her my thoughts in session, she often asks me what the worst case scenario is and why does it matter if it is true. Typically, I end up deciding that it doesn’t really matter if it’s true. But for some reason with my current obsession it feels like it really matters if it’s true and I don’t have her to talk to about it. I’m wondering if I should post my thought on here so that I can get feedback on the “so what if it’s true” part, but I don’t want to come off as seeking reassurance because I’m not. Thoughts?

Is anyone here an Empath with OCD? If so could you tell me what it's like?

I don’t like that I’m getting memories from my trauma and it’s linking to my thoughts about my abuser and I don’t like that I’m feeling what he could’ve felt I don’t like the feelings & sensations :( this, is hard.

i feel like i am bi and just okay with it. it doesn't even panic me anymore, nor does the fact that i am not panicked disturb me either.

i keep getting groinals with my false memories idk what’s going on does this happen?

Hey this isn’t really ocd related I don’t think, I’m just hoping for a piece of advice from some of you guys out there. This Friday I went to a party with some of my friends, to another friend of mines dorm room. The friend who’s dorm room we were in, me and her had became close last year other than that we haven’t really spoken much over the last semester. I’ve never thought of her as anything besides friends. I have a girlfriend I love very much and everything and I would never ever want to hurt her at all. Friday I was very intoxicated, and was talking to one of my other friends about the friend who’s dorm room it is about how I thought she was attractive. But with my guy friends we’ve always been very open about talking about females indirectly. I don’t think I said anything to her directly about it and I am really hoping I didn’t seem flirtatious because I feel absolutely full of anxiety and guilt that I was disloyal to my girlfriend in sort of way and idk what to do. Physically I’m positive for sure I didn’t do anything and my other friend says I didn’t say anything to her while he was around. I’m just really scared because I love my girlfriend and I don’t want to sit w the guilt that I did something to hurt her. Vowed to myself I wouldn’t drink again or put myself in a situation where I may be vulnerable to doing something like that. Someone please give me some advice to feel less guilty

I really can do this anymore. Today seems to be the master of all trigger days. Okay, so this is what happened: I usually load my dirty laundry into the washer the night before, and add the detergent and start the washer in the morning after quiet hours. I decided to add my bedding to the washer. I wasn't as careful taking my basket out of my bedroom as I usually am and started having images that my dirty laundry touched something. I was having anxiety about this all morning as my clothes were washing. I get up to check on the washer and there are spots of soapy water on my floor. More anxiety because it was probably not clean water. So, I get myself together, grab my wood floor mop and clean it up. As I'm using the rest room and washing my hands (bathrooms are a major contamination issue for me. I won't touch any clean stuff after I use it). The maintenance guy rings my doorbell and tells me there was a leak in the downstairs apartment and they needed to check it out. There was some back and forth for a while, due to not wanting to touch the doorknob with my "bathroom" hands (I washed them, but I felt unclean). I eventually agreed, since I didn't want to inconvenience my downstairs neighbors if there was a leak. Now I'm having anxiety about the doorknob, which I touched, the potentially dirty water that was on my floor and still soaked into part of the carpet in my room, the bathroom sink, which I touched after cleaning my tub and pulling hair out of the drain cover (I did clean the sink afterwards). I'm just about in breakdown territory right now. I feel like I'm spreading it around apartment on my flip flops, which I wear so my feet don't get dirty. I really hope I don't have to deal with my downstairs neighbors. I'm guessing maybe the pipe that drains from my washer came loose. I think G-d maybe punishing me right now.😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Went out on a date last night with a girl and couldn’t get an erection and kept going soft. I suffer from HOCD and my therapist said I am not Gay and have oCd. I am so scared right now does medication play a role in this. Could I just be in denial

Why am I not feeling anything towards the opposite sex? Absolutely nothing. Even sexual attraction is nearly gone. I dont feel normal. Ive convinced myself too much, now when I check out women, I get thoughts/feelings that Im gay and I will never get her or get a gf. This makes me feel less manly which takes a bigger toll on my self esteem Or when I look at a woman and imagine myself with her, I get a flashing image of me leaving her bc I like men more. This makes me sick and not good. Like I said Ive ruminated too much and believed my thoughts and proof that It gave me and now Im in this messy situation. Idk what to do. I want to feel real and normal again. Why does It also feel like time is passing by in the blink of an eye and Im not able to experience any of it fully. I hate it, theres no way Im actually gay right? Wth Im worried that I am though. Im stuck on this phrase" Im just gay" : ((((( Please give me some advice. Is this still ocd?

my ocd is got worse again and school starts in 2 days which is gonna make things difficult for me. i am just so fucking frustrated and tired. i tried to resist the urge to go on this app bc i feel like it’s reassurance but i just have to rant. i have been fighting for so long and i feel like this is never going to end. i’ve been rly trying. earlier this month i thought i was getting better but it just went to shit again. i feel so guilty and disgusted w my ocd obsession like why did it have to be those type of intrusive thoughts. like why me. ocd is literally the worst and sometimes i just feel hopeless.

Who here has played papa games on kizi when they were kids If you don’t know papa games were like “papas pizzeria, papas taco Mia, all those games 😭

I know I’ve talked about this to some people but can I have all the ladies in this chat or girls?

i usually only reply on this app, but i’m on vacation and my OCD & depression are acting up big time! not looking for reassurance but if anyone has any kind words, i’d really appreciate it :)

i just feel so sad

So... I'm afraid that I'm actually a p... ⚠️ [IF YOU HAVE SEXUAL ORIENTATION OCD. PLEASE DON'T READ THIS!! IT WILL BE TRIGGERING] ⚠️ I used to have sexual orientation ocd (which at time I didn't know about) When I was 11, I had intrusive thoughts that I was gay... And it was the same thing as the pocd. It was a on-off situation. Sometimes I thought I was gay and I was terrified of it, other times, it was... 'no. There is no way I'm one'. Same with the first years of pocd. One day, when I was 20, my dad asked me what was my sexuality and I replied "idk. I really don't think about it" (I half lied because I was afraid he'd hate me) but he told me he'd be ok with anything and the weight I carried over the years disappeared... I finally felt I could maybe see if I was gay or not. (at the time I didn't know that sexual orientation ocd was a thing) and that I could be myself and go after woman without guilt. (yes. My parents were the reason I was terrified I was gay) And surprise!! I'm actually gay! And now... There is so much resemblance with pocd! What if I'm actually a p? But the only reason things are holding me down it's because it's seen as a bad thing by society? I have cured myself from incest ocd and zoophila ocd.... But I'm still stuck on pocd... And I'm terrified...

Has anyone else smoked w33d and felt as if all your emotions, problems and mental illness had a voice and could control your body. The best thing i can compare it to is the movie inside out. All these voices in my head but when i was h1gh it’s like they were on speaker and everyone could hear. I felt as if i was out of my body like from the movie get out, i was just in the hole watching everything and all the voice control my body. I also felt as if everyone was secretly talking about me or hated me. My anxiety, and mental problems seemed to sky rocket. this has happened two times before the first time wasn’t that bad would happen every 15 minds or so, the second to last time i felt as if i was out of my body like from the movie get out so i stopped for a long time because it scared me and this time i had voices and and the out of body. I went to sleep to try to help it but it only caused the voices to stay inside my head they were no longer on speaker, i went back to sleep throughout the night and today i feel like my anxiety and problems have sky rocketed like i said. my boyfriends grandma said that really scared me because this had happened to my boyfriend and it has caused his OCD to sky rocket and i’m scared and worried it’s happened to me to become it hasn’t gotten much better than last night. To add insult to injury last night when i woke up from my first nap i went onto instagram and joy from inside out popped up on my phone and the scared the heck out of me. I’ve read that if you have underlying or potential mental illnesses that w33d can cause them to come out ten fold.. i worry that my boyfriend thinks that i’m faking this or trying to “copy him” we didn’t have the same experience while high but i can’t help be stuck on and scared he might think that.

I think I’ve been accepting my thoughts the wrong way bc I’m accepting them as true and that if it were to ever happen I’ll accept 😭 so how am I supposed to do this again.?

Hey All! so ive had harm ocd for 3 years as of now, and at first i would get the thoughts of harming loved ones and then feel sick to my stomach and then snap out of it , but now im catching myself thinking about it for HOURS & its making me think i actually would do it 😒 on the positive note ive has this app deleted for 3 months as i didn’t have harm ocd for that long until when day i thought about it possibly coming back after i felt “ normal “ again and i swear each time it comes back on it feels worse

This might really triggering for some people, but it’s about pedophilic sexual intrusive thoughts Does anyone else sometimes feel so scared that might actually be a pedo because of what they are imagining about children involving children, like can intrusive thoughts include yourself in the thought hurting a child instead of just an inappropriate image of a child or something, I hope that makes sense I feel so tired and sick to my stomach that what my intrusive thoughts are imagining are real... idk what to do anymore