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Im so scared that my thoughts about my boyfriend is real ..

does anyone else on here worry they histrionic personality disorder ? can that be a theme? personality disorders? i guess ocd can latch onto anything...

I have never heard of a case of someone with OCD about being a pedophile or killer realizing they really were one. However, mental health professionals have encountered individuals with HOCD who have come to the conclusion that they were gay. Reassurance doesn't help in any of these cases. It's common for mental health professionals to try reassuring a patient in some way, especially earlier in treatment, but ultimately the reassurance doesn't treat the OCD. The OCD is treated by eliminating compulsive checking, researching, and analyzing, and tolerating the uncertainty in the process. If I understood your email correctly, what you are struggling with the most is what seems to be a contradiction between (1) how mental health professionals might tell a person with HOCD that they don't think he's gay, and (2) the idea that someone with HOCD could in fact be gay. I think the simplest way to explain this contradiction is that what professionals might say to someone about his sexual orientation would be their impressions of that person, specifically. I can't speak on behalf of other professionals, but I assume this is what would be intended. On the other hand, the information you've read about HOCD is about HOCD in general, for all the different people who have it. Some of these people are gay and some of them are straight and some are in the middle. All of these people are unsure of their sexual orientation, all of them are frantically trying to figure out their sexual orientation, and all of them are terrified of making a mistake in either direction -- by thinking they're gay or thinking they're straight. The problem is that when people have HOCD and they're constantly engaged in compulsions, they can feel so confused that they truly don't know what's real. Nothing anyone tells them will convince them. If someone tells them they are straight, they just worry that that person is wrong, because they are afraid of making a mistake in either direction. OCD can be incredibly, profoundly confusing and torturous. People with HOCD constantly try to figure out their sexual orientation. They analyze and ruminate about every sexual and romantic feeling and thought they've ever had. They even try to have feelings and thoughts on purpose to try to figure out the answer. But what happens is that all of this analysis and rumination just make the person ever more confused and even more scared, and makes it impossible to actually figure out what's real. The more confused and scared they get, the more they analyze and ruminate. It's a horrible, torturous cycle. The way we treat HOCD isn't by trying to answer the question, since trying to answer the question is what fuels this horrible cycle. Instead, the way we treat it is by working on eliminating the analysis, mental tests, research, and reassurance-seeking. Once a person eliminates this, things gradually become clearer, and they can get a picture of what their sexual orientation actually looks like. In other words, in order to eventually gain an answer to the question, the person has to stop trying to figure out the answer. This may sound simple, but it can actually be an incredibly difficult, scary, and complicated process. Hi I have just come across this article online from Reddit from an OCD therapist by the looks of things. Is that a therapist say you can HOCD and realise you are Gay. So confused.

Happy Monday everyone from little gyppers and I! Shes actually 5, although she looks and acts like a kitten 😂 her favorite toy is a red rubber band...not sure why lmao Here's some monday motivation. That thing that you're afraid of doing but reaaaally wanna do--thats probably your ocd telling you you can't do it. That's not you. The real you is the content you, the one that is not plagued by endless doubts and insecurities. That you is inside of you, and that you believes in you. You just need to peel back all the layers of ocd to get to that you. But in the mean time, please do the things you like! Give ocd the middle finger and stand up to your inner bully :) How's everyone this morning?

Hi there, ive just been diagnosed as having ocd but i'm really struggling to see how I have it.. Ive never had a diagnosis of ocd before. I do seek constant reassurance about things and I mentally review things in my head all the time. But i'm struggling to see any ocd traits... I just wondered if anyone else experiences ruminations or mental compulsions and could explain further..

I want to share some advice, having dealt with SOOCD for years now. Maybe it will help others to identify some of their compulsions and reduce, maybe not but I think it's good sometimes to have perspective from people who've been through the ringer for a long time. -a desire for certainty is at the root of nearly every thought, urge, sensation, and compulsion you will experience with soocd, because at the root of that is a very normal human need for control -anytime you want to know the answer to questions like "does X mean Y about me?" Or "does anyone else _____?" Or "if I did/do ___ does it mean ___ about me?" Or "so and so said or does ____, and we have one thing in common, does that mean I am/will do it too?".... my friends these are all desperate compulsions to get certainty. They are answer seeking compulsions and will fuel your ocd to the point that you no longer experience present life, but instead spend 24/7 in your head like I have done so many times. -no one, NO ONE, can decide, understand, or know answers about your personal identity. You must accept the uncertainty and discomfort of not knowing for sure, and in the face of that fear, choose to act on values, which a therapist can help you work on in sessions (yes, I know, it's difficult to know values when ocd twists our minds around, this is why it's good to have a therapist) -anytime you find yourself trying to remember a thought or memory, and you can't stop attempting to remember it, that is a mental compulsion, and remembering that thing won't give you relief -ocd doesn't just disappear, even after treatment. There is no magic cure, and it does take dedication and work. It freaking sucks that we have to deal with that in this illness, but we do. If you go through treatment and improve, then start avoiding triggers again or stop paying attention to your ocd cycle, it can possibly get worse, so you have to stay on top of things. Our brains just need a little extra help and that's what erp is for but it takes time. -sadly, don't expect people to understand you outside of therapy, ocd forums and support groups. Maybe my perspective is cynical, but I believe that we have the right to be selective about who we tell the content of our ocd to because it shouldn't be our job to educate every single one of our friends about how ocd works to avoid their potential judgment. Not everyone will understand or need to know. -keep record of your good days in a journal and make note of your behaviors around those times. What were you eating, drinking , doing for exercise, how were you sleeping, were you meditating, did you have a routine, were you doing erp?, what were your triggers and how were you facing them? Understand your behaviors to see how they helped you face your ocd better than you did on the bad days. <3 you're not alone. I hope my advice can help in at least some small way. I know how easy it is to get hopeless. I've been feeling hopeless with my ocd for most of this summer. But we will get through this. <3

Trigger warning Hi, My ocd has gotten real bad the past few days I’m really scared right now, I know I shouldn’t seek re assurance but I’m freaking out, at the moment it feels like it would bring me relief if, as evil as it sounds murder was acceptable, I think it’s because then I wouldn’t have to fight ocd anymore, I feel horrible even writing this. it feels so real I don’t want it to be acceptable as it’s the worst thing you can do and I know it’s not acceptable. I just don’t feel it and it feels more real then ever like I want to and I don’t know what to do anymore I’m scared to do the recovery work cause I’m scared that I’m gonna end up being a murderer. I’m already numb emotionally cause of everything going on I can’t even cry anymore. It just feels like theres nothing wrong with murder and I’m tryna convince myself how there is and it feels like I’ve lost my battle with ocd after all these years. I’m so scared right now I wanna live a normal life but it feels like I never will and that I wanna do those evil things, it feels like I have a deep secret desire that I just don’t wanna give into and I feel horrible. I’m just so tired of fighting I just wanna be normal and not be a danger. Is this ocd or has it become something else and I’m a secret sociopath?

So this is really important to me i hope some of you will answer. The love of my life and i stopped talking about a year or so from today. It has not been easy for me and i was in a dark place for some time. The point of this post though, is to talk about something we both discussed, and that was writing/creating something together. When we were discussing this i can’t remember exactly what we said, but we had called things off romantically with each-other before that point and i think we were talking about how uncomfortable we felt at the idea of using our experiences to create stories (Much like some song writers do about break ups). LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR I IN NO WAY WANT TO WRITE ABOUT MYSELF AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE TO MAKE A/ANOTHER STORY THAT I CAN PUT MY NAME ON. I just feel scared to try and write anymore because I’m afraid i may use him, his story, our story, my story, his experience or my experience in some way shape or form. I know that a lot of us who create use our experiences in a small way to help us make our stories but I’m afraid that ill just end up trying to profit from our history or the experiences we had, and publicize it if that makes sense? Like would it be right to use my experience even a little? Would it be right to use our experiences even a little? Would it be right to use his? I feel so gross typing that. I feel disgusted even writing that ugh. Like not actual instances that happened by just feelings and such or more open-ended things? Like not a word for word on us at all just a different character and maybe a completely different world where i use certain feelings or thoughts not for the entirety of the piece but for certain parts? I cannot tell if this is ocd or me respecting/ trying to respect him but I’m so afraid i will subconsciously/unconsciously just write about stuff like his/mine/our experiences with each-other or the experiences we’ve had as people apart from each-other, before we met each-other, or after we’ve met each-other.

i haven't eaten all day my brain is telling me if i eat i am gonna act these thoughts i'm scared i got random thought yesterday now i am afraid that i am not only a zoo*****, p*do, in**** but also a serial killer i am so sad and drained i gave in to all compulsions, i have avoided my whole entire friends and family ugh this saddening, how come my brain can't view things the way i want them too, they only things that smooth me now are plants

I've been struggling with what I found through a NOCD article, is termed "Race OCD". I constantly worry that I'm being perceived as racist. I'm white, I consider myself to be an ally of BIPOC and to work on being anti-racist. Lately though, I get hit with a ton of intrusive thoughts about coming across as racist when I speak to a BIPOC, which causes anxiety, which my anxiety probably then appears racist to the other person. I can't imagine what BIPOC have to endure on a daily basis just because of their skin color, so I'm not trying to make this about me. I'm just wondering if I'm alone in this or if other people struggle with this OCD theme. To be honest, it's pretty severe and it's attacking my core, because this "theme" feels opposite to what I value (being an ally, fighting to be anti-racist & dismantle racism) & who I am. I can tell that other people notice I'm anxious, and I just hate that I'm displaying nervousness because im sure it makes the other person uncomfortable. I know I'm coming off as anxious to other people. I know it because I'm trying so hard not to be perceived as racist, to get the interaction "right", that interactions just get weird, anxiety filled & awkward & I'm sure the other person is like wtf, this person is a racist. I don't know how to stop getting so lost in my head. I've tried to tell myself "Maybe I am a sick, racist human being, oh well", but that doesn't help because I don't agree with that statement. I hate that interacting with BIPOC has become a trigger for me & that my anxiety is probably making people uncomfortable & they see me as a racist. I feel awful.

Is anyone struggling with inability to get vaccinated?

I hope I’m not offending anyone by saying this and if I am please let me know so I can apologize. I just want to know why everything is surrounded around gender identity now a days . I understand spreading awareness but it’s literally all I ever see now and it triggers me so damn bad . It’s almost like ocd knows I’m trying to get my mind off it . I feel like my view of my gender has changed for ever and I will never be the same …

reddit is so triggering but i try to delete it but end up redownloading it i don’t know how to stop it

It sucks going from having clarity to feeling terrible and being convinced the thoughts are true.

I’m afraid about going to therapy despite I can’t.. If the therapist say i have ocd then I would be really sad.. If the therapist says I don’t have ocd then I’m gonna be crazy because what are these thoughts if I don’t havr ocd If I won’t gi then I’m gonna live with uncertainty and doubt wich make me tired…

I am really concerned by Michael Greenberg article that he posted saying HOCD doesn’t mean you’re not Gay and it doesn’t mean you are Gay it just means you have ocd about your sexual orientation. Really need help understanding this

I know a lot of people say to face your instructive thought with exposures and then the thought will go away. When I do this the thought does go away, then comes back in about 5 minutes randomly. Any advice on what other exposures to do? I’m really trying not to give in

Why do people never talk about what it's like to be bisexual with soocd? The lack of representation among ocd circles makes it feel even more like my situation is the exception.

Has anyone ever felt like you have to confess to every single lie you’ve told? Me and my brain lol

does anyone have intrusive thoughts about animals? I saw a video years ago on Twitter of a dog performing a sexual act on a human (disgusting I know) but sometimes I see my dog and I think about it and it makes me very uncomfortable and not want to lay down with him because I just imagine that happening to me and how disturbing that is