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the NOCD Community

i kinda just let the thoughts sit in my head but right now it just seems i don’t have an attraction to guys. it’s really scaring me and i’m not sure what to do about it. i’m scared to date guys because i’m scared to get hurt or have past trauma happen to me again and i feel liek that’s the reason i have these thoughts like “what if you just don’t like guys and you’re denying it” or “what if you just don’t like guys at all” and i know that’s not true because i’ve NEVER been attracted to any girls in that way. only guys and i’ve always been attracted to guys even really young. i’m just kinda scared right now and not sure what to do can someone help?

So I heard one my best friends saying she has OCD. All she did was considered perfectionism and she was organizing peoples stuff on school. I do organize my suff but as a compultion and it is not like it bothers me , I HAVE to, I don’t think she understands. I would be torturing myself instead of organizing ppl stuff, is not like she didn’t want ppl to watch it.I think she wanted attention or smth, but I felt offended about it .

Is it normal to feel fear before starting your first relationship? There's this guy that I've become friends with, but the conversations that we have hint to something more. I can't help but think about what if he isn't the right one for me, or that it is nonesense to have a relationship right now because it will eventualy end and what's the point etc.

New thread guys!

Another imagined scenario at work tonight when washing my hands at the break room sink - every time I finished rinsing my hands, my brain convinced me I had taken them and rubbed them all over the sink. Like cleaning the sink with them in place of a wipe or something. Just over and over. So naturally my response is, oh darn let's wash them again. I was in there forever. This has happened to me when people are in there too and it's so mortifying because I can't stop, and I know people can see me. People waiting to use the sink (or bathroom if I'm in there) makes my compulsions SO much worse. It's just exhausting.

Help please. :( As I go back to work tomorrow I find myself laying in bed fighting the tears. My fear that people are always talking about me is so bad to the point I want to call of work. This struggle is so hard to deal with. I am trying to remember that this is in my head and not real. :(

Ocd is really exhausting me in my relationship it’s like I’m paranoid abt this one girl for no reason and i keep having mental pictures of her and my man in my head get this tingly feeling so i feel like it’s gonna come true

Has anyone ever struggled with POCD with one specific child?? I’m kind of struggling with this right now

Okay does anyone else’s OCD make them thing they “love” other people, I’ve gone through this thought stage with like each of my friends, and then i go through a stage where anytime I see or think about that person I’m launched into anxiety? I’ve never really been good about keeping and maintaining friends either because of my trust issues. I only have like two best friends, and I’m almost 18. I have a boyfriend and my guilt is killing me! I’ve personally haven’t thought this much about wanting to hurt myself before.

what are some of you’re compulsions? tell a few in the comments :)

Guys I did a compulsion and stalked my boyfriends ex girlfriends Facebook page. And my anxiety got the better of me today .... and I’m heart broken cause they shared something special. I just wanted to say that... I just am in a low state right now.

I have compulsions where I feel that I must run through lists of the things I need to do over and over before I can start certain tasks. My mind feels so fuzzy unless I organize my thoughts in this way. I try to just start a task without doing this but then I feel distracted the whole time. Anyone else have this problem?

Does anyone else have constant OCD about their body and the way it looks. This is one of my OCD themes, body image

Anybody get ocd about their health ? Like I'm scared I'm going to have a brain aneurysm or something. I'm terrified and have convinced myself something is wrong .

What are everyone’s thoughts on the ketamine approach?

Does anyone check Same sex pornography for arousal? I feel alone and scared I can’t do this anymore

So much of my anxiety comes from my parents, my sister and the sounds my dog makes. My therapist said I’ll never get better until I move out. Not just this therapist but a total of 5 of them in the past 10 years. But I have no money to move ahhahaha ?

Just Venting really: My anxiety is really low ?? but seems to have been replaced with a bleakness. I’m having one of those weeks where I am overwhelmed by the pointlessness of everything. In some strange ways it’s kind of freeing. Even my contamination fears seem to reduce because I’m past caring. I’m angry too. And I’ve cried every day for 6 days-I know I’m irritating people around me and I feel so guilty when my dog looks at me with happiness in his face and all I do is cry. When things are this bad I consider medication again but honestly I resent that I might need it because other people filled my head with crap. I’m angry about the past and I’ve upset my Mum by dragging it up. There’s some things I can’t seem to let go and she gives me this vibe like ‘get over it, people have it worse’ (they do, but I bet they’re fucked up too). I’m not working and money is running out but I hate every job I’ve ever had. I feel like an alien when I turn up to these offices and I hear people repeating the same shitty ‘jokes’ and repeating the same pointless tasks. The obvious answer is get a different type of job but nothing interests me enough or pays well.

Anyone else’s OCD isn’t “just” thoughts anymore but feelings and body responses etc. too? ?

*venting* I’m so tired of life. I just woke up, and I feel like going back to bed and sleep until this nightmare passes. This week has been one of the hardest of my life. I don’t think I can face another day of intrusive thoughts, fear, anxiety. I need some moments of relief, but there are none. I wanna have a life again. Anxiety and obsessive thoughts have killed my social life, my ambitions and desires, my happiness. I’ve been fighting for the past 6 months for nothing. I don’t see any improvement. I’m on day 3 of Lexapro and of course i can’t tell if it’s gonna work for me or not. I’m on the first stages of ERP therapy and I still haven’t got any assigned homework to work on, which I really need because I need to feel like I’m doing SOMETHING to help myself with ocd and Gad. I just hope someone could just take out whatever part of my brain isn’t working properly and replace it with a new piece. I don’t wanna feel like a burden to my family or boyfriend anymore. I can’t believe all the damage that I’m causing. I don’t know what to do with all this self hate. I don’t know where to turn to. I seem to have all the help that one could need - therapy, medication, support system. Yet I feel like I can’t spend another day living like this.