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Please help. I’m spiraling again. I’m also sitting at work crying my eyes out. What is the difference between this and denial? I just want to be happy.

I think I need to leave my boyfriend and just come out and accept it. I’m heartbroken. I’m so depressed. I’m week 3 into medication and it’s just not making me feel better, maybe it’s made me realise even more so that I am just in denial.

Hello all: I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety and as of now depression. I was on lexapro 10 mg for 3 years until January 2021 then I went down to 5 mg until my ocd episode began in early July 2021. I went back up on the lexapro but it didn’t help. I continued to get worse. Now I am off the lexapro and on Zoloft 100 mg and have been on it for 4.5 weeks and I don’t feel any different. I am very depressed. Does anyone recommend any medications that work for them? Any combinations of meds ? I am getting married in the spring and really want to be a happy bride..

Hi all, random question, but how many of you are bad at directions? I'm good at a lot of things, but horrible at directions, like I'll get turmed around in my own town, can't picture maps, would probably have died at some point of I didn't have GPS, etc. I read somewhere once that that could be linked to my OCD, but I haven't found that article again and just wondered if it's a common experience!

My dad has a mental illness and he has for years though I only learned about it in the last year or so. I’m wondering based on what he’s experiencing if this might be OCD or if it’s likely something else or a combination of things. (I have OCD.) He quit his job several years ago because he was worried people were talking about him or something. He’s had lots of paranoia over the years that the police are going to break into our house or some other vague horrible thing is going to happen to us or our house (again, I didn’t know this). He’s felt like in order to prevent those negative things from happening he’s had to do different things (Mom said he went through a phase of making bread, cleaning the walls outside, etc.) He also doesn’t shave even though my mom hates beards and I think it’s related. In the past year he’s gotten a lot worse, to the point that I noticed something was wrong (though I never had before). He’s been mostly doing lots of cleaning, but mostly pointless, repetitive cleaning. Scrubbing the floor, wiping the blinds, wiping down the couches, rearranging the pantry and fridge. Most recently he’s been wiping everything in the basement with a dry rag. Again, he feels like if he doesn’t do these things sufficiently something bad will happen. He’s said some morbid things like he’s warning us, like “I think it might be this week,” or “those flowers aren’t going to grow because they’ll be gone by then.” In the past few months he’s also felt like he has to wake up extremely early and clean (or hardly sleep at all) and only eat at certain times of the day. He also feels like he can’t watch TV or talk about sports. He won’t help us with lots of things we actually need done because he thinks he can’t do them and has to do other “work.” He also has felt like he can’t leave the house a few times, like for family parties, vacations, or even to take me shopping sometimes. He’s been taking latuda and apparently he was taking a higher dosage before and that seemed to help some, but since they lowered his dose he’s been worse. (He currently doesn’t have a psychiatrist because she retired.) Basically every waking moment is about his mental illness for him. We are religious and a type of Christian that believes that the Holy Spirit influences us to do good and can give us guidance and comfort in our lives. My Dad believes that it is the Spirit that’s telling him to do these things and that it’s what God is asking of him. Again, I’m wondering whether this sounds like OCD to people, or if just OCD likely can’t account for it. If you read this or have any feedback, thank you.

I don’t know if anyone else experiences this with HOCD but whenever they see a good looking/attractive person of the same sex, they get heart palpitations and nervousness. Now to me, that just screams that you’re overly attracted to the person, you see them as a heartthrob and is a big trigger of mine.

Does anyone else suffer with cheating ocd? It feels like your gonna cheat on your bf with one of his friends… this makes me feel extremely horrible and guilty. This all started when I first met his friends in the summer and I got along with one of them, he was funny, friendly and kind but my ocd is saying I want to leave/ cheat on my bf with him which is giving me so much anxiety, guilt and shame like who tf thinks like this?! 😫 someone please help

No one has the thoughts I have I am so close to coming out. I can't believe I'm saying this. I just said to myself wtf. I feel like I've lost my way completely I don't know what's right or wrong for me 😔

How do I deal with real event OCD that also have to do with HOCD and POCD regarding h*ntai?

Those will a long term partner or spouse, how do they handle your ocd?

My mind won’t shut up. So many things are bothering me right now and it’s all OCD related I think 😭 POCD, HOCD and Harm OCD all at once and it’s terrifying

I’m still worried about something that happened a couple weeks ago. I had an intrusive image about my niece that was really bad because I got triggered by reading a romance story that was pretty spicy if you know what I mean and it literally felt like my whole body reacted. I was already feeling something ya know from the story down there and then when the thought came up it was like my whole body reacted. When I mentioned it here before people said it sounded like anxiety but it felt different than that. It felt as though just for a second it felt like I was aroused or it felt like I liked it but I know deep down I don’t because I’m freaking out by it. I try to tell myself the intrusive thoughts and intrusive feelings are just lies and that it’s not my fault or out of my control. I’m having a really hard time trying to recover from this theme. I’ve had it for 2 years now and I just can’t take it. I hate it with a passion and I don’t want to go back to my past because of trauma but I do want to move forward and never have ocd ever but unfortunately I’m going to have it for the rest of my life. I’m having a hard time accepting the thoughts and I’m definitely having a hard time accepting the weird feelings too. Im having a hard time forgiving myself for the intrusive thoughts and I self loathe myself. I absolutely hate myself. I feel like a burden. I feel like I’m always going to be stuck in this theme and I’m never going to feel ok again. I feel like I don’t even deserve to do anything anymore. I’m tired of hiding in my room or avoiding people. I get other intrusive thoughts too. I struggle with HOCD and also harm ocd too. The harm one freaks me out because my friend told me that someone said they wished for her son to die or something like that and I’ve had intrusive thoughts similar to that and it made me feel so bad because what if I’m a bad person even thought I would NEVER wish harm on anyone especially a child. I would never even harm a child. And then with the HOCD my friend my work is bi but she has a boyfriend and a son and I’m straight and also a Christian. Because she’s blonde and my niece is blonde and I get horrible intrusive thoughts about my niece I had an intrusive thought saying they looked alike and then my ocd tries to convince me I have a crush on my friend and then the whole pocd thing shows up saying I have a crush on my friend because she looks like my niece and that’s creepy. And then I had a intrusive thought saying that if I came out bi or whatever, it would be from my intrusive thoughts about my niece and that it all started from that and that freaks me out. I hate ALL of this. I’m scared to death no joke. I don’t want to be a monster, I don’t want to be bi or a lesbian. Not saying there’s anything wrong with it but it’s just not me. I need help. I feel like my whole world is falling apart and it’s driving me insane 💔

First how can I best help my adult son who has OCD? And secondly ..How can I encourage him to get help / support ? I know that I can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to do or aren’t ready to do … let alone go to therapy. Is there a support group for families dealing w/ family members with OCD ?

If realisation is meant to make you feel this low, depressed and basically done with life then it’s the most cruel thing to ever happen to me. I feel like everything has been taken from me and I’ve given up on trying to get what I loved so much back again. I’ve lost my confidence, my drive, my vision for the future. I had a wonderful career, gf, friends and family. Now I don’t want any of it, and I can’t even see myself getting it back anymore. I used to wake up and feel like the luckiest person alive, I’d go to work and feel the same. I’d come home to pure love, now it’s all gone it all seems like a fantasy. A dream that I had the chance of living it and now I’m being forced to wake up and return to a cruel reality. I don’t think I’ll ever get over this, I don’t want to get over it. I feel selfish for staying with my partner when I have all these new thoughts/feelings. I don’t know what is real anymore. It just feels like the OCD has finally played it’s strongest game and it’s won and I’m bored to death of playing this game with it anymore. I’m done!

Anybody willing to talk depersonalization?

Came off my anti depressants about a month ago and felt better but recently I feel like I’m relapsing don’t know what to do

Im not sure if this is ocd related or not, but I am at my wits end with my husband. I feel like he is maybe borderline abusive, he is constantly correcting me on all of these things and I can’t take it anymore, I tell him to stop and explain that just because I do something differently then how he would do it it’s okay, but he just continuously corrects me. I’m not gonna lie, on a few occasions I have pushed or shoved him to get my point across, but only because he doesn’t leave me alone or listen to me and I feel like that is my only way to get my point across. He’s bigger than me so I know I am not hurting him, but when I have done this he responds a lot more powerful and drags me or throws me etc. he did it the other day in front of our one year old baby and the baby was distraught from the whole scene. I’m just very confused where to go from here, I try to talk to him but he doesn’t listen and I have no one else to talk to.

Anyone else feel like they are totally accepting of the thoughts now and that they are now in the closet and this isn’t ocd anymore? I feel like I can live a normal life and I have this thought in the back of my head at all times that I’m gay. I just want my life back

Cheating ocd. Does anyone else just fear that finding other people attractive is mentally cheating on your partner? Every time I notice someone is attractive or have any intrusive sexual thoughts or feelings about someone other than her I feel so incredibly guilty and worried that I am hurting her. She suffers from body image issues and we had a conversation about this once (it went really really poorly because I had no clue what ocd was at the time). This conversation is actually what started the ocd spiral that led me to therapy though I had been dealing with intrusive thoughts for years before. Does anyone relate to this experience and have any advice? (I’m working with a NOCD therapist rn)

So my boyfriend and I had a rocky past. For the last 2 1/2 years we were on & off but never fulllly serious. So he always talked to girls and flirted and did all that. As did I when I was single single. During those times I found out cuz I would look through his phone. We eventually ended it for good and then a few months later he started to get his act right and we started to date officially and have been very committed for a year. I mean everything, meeting family, trips, he’s shown a lot that he’s changed in those aspects. My only boundary I asked from him was that when it came to social media, I didn’t want him liking pics of girls half naked or going on a follow spree of girls. I never cared about celebrities and I only refer this to girls i don’t like who don’t respect me/our relationship or friends of his that post bikini pics. That’s all lol. Social media was a huge thing for us because I would find everything out and so he told me he feels trapped like he can’t like anything and I know his every move. He’s afraid of leaving his phone with me cuz he feels I’ll look at his texts with his friends and everything and get mad at even a comment he makes. I had major trust issues going into this because of the past and eventually hit a point where I do trust him, but sometimes I have fears and insecurities and get that urge to look at his ig or his phone. He gets really upset if I violate his privacy and I get that, which is why I haven’t done in a long time but sometimes I’m like ok I have to just see. And I saw that he snapped a girl I hated, he just asked what bar it was and to him anything he says to other ppl is innocent and I get that and believe it but he doesn’t understand how those specific women work and why i feel it’s disrespectful. I mean he never asked me to but I deleted almost everyone I’ve even kissed. I don’t remember in the moment but I thought I saw a girl he snapped who has a premium Snapchat or something because in the messages she sent her PayPal from 2 years ago but she was in his recents snaps. I didn’t ask about that because we already had a huge conversation and now I’m really bothered by it but I’m usually wrong when I ask him anything so I’m afraid to bring it up. I am really bothered by that but I also know that he wouldn’t jeopardize our relationship. He shows me off all the time and he’s always showing how committed he is to me and I do believe that but still this weirdly makes me feel like when he’s alone he just looks at girls and does small things that aren’t break up worthy but enough to make him feel “free”. I mean dude I give him so much freedom so it fucking sucks that me having moments of insecurity and ONE boundary bounces back to me being an intrusive stalker girlfriend. I hadn’t went through his phone since February and I don’t ever want to do it like that again. I had a moment of weakness and I did see something I didn’t like, asked him and we did kind of just let it go but it turned into him telling me he feels like he can’t do nothing without me finding out even if it’s something as innocent as a like or a text to his friend saying a girl is cute or something. Like dude ur fucking human stfu I don’t care, I talk about guys with my friends. Just don’t act on it? And I know he wouldn’t so it’s like because of one thing he adds more shit to it and feels like I am trying to control him. And he WONT LISTEN TO ME and says I’m the problem cuz I have went through his phone. It sucks when we don’t see eye to eye on this. Everything else we can work through but this always becomes a huge thing cuz we don’t see eye to eye on it.