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Worrying so much is so comforting somehow. I feel as though it’s the norm. I’m a little hesitant to part with it. I’m scared to feel nothing when I’m supposed to be worrying. I hope this doesn’t sound ridiculous.

Hi! So I can't stop thinking that I am a bad person .. Idk .. I doubt everything .. I can't stop thinking about all may past actions and I cant stop thinking that I had bad intentions in everything .. Also I keep having thoughts about what if I really want to hurt someone .. I keep having intrusive thoughts about harming people .. I am so scared Idk if I really want or its just intrusive.. but they cause me distress... Any advice? Is someone going trough the same thing?

I need to go to church tmrw but I feel like crap... ^^ Idk if this is OCD or not but I feel like I do not fit in my own skin no matter what I do :( Yeah basically I feel like sleeping forever idk :p

Because I struggle with false memory and real event ocd, I feel like God hates me. I remember praying to God please give me a reason to live and I honestly don't deserve it. What it makes this worse is that, I ask God to just end my life.

I’ve been wondering a lot these past two months have been really bad. I’ve had just about every theme of OCD from harm, sexual, existencial you name it. The only theme I haven’t had is germ OCD, I think it’s because I’m a nurse and I literary live around germs. This time around I’ve been obsessing with sleep and not being able to sleep, which has caused me to have depression. And now I’m like obsessed over my depression to the point where I’m literary questioning my own sanity, and my own experiences almost as if I’m over analyzing every experience and feel depressed over it evened good experiences feel like ass cus I just start doubting them. Has anyone experience this before? I got started on sirtraline and now I am obsessing over the fact that I need a pill to get better which I hate cus I’ve been able to beat my OCD unmedicated. Am I beyond help at this point ? I feel like I am a completely different person I don’t even remember what I used to be like.

Waking up in a panick everyday thinking if this is real life or not, the thoughts never stop, I just want to get better, I had a panick attack yesterday thinking this wasn’t real life, I coped with alcohol for the past 4 years, now when I wake up it’s straight to this isn’t real life and you should just hurt yourself, am I going crazy ?

I’m wondering if anyone can relate? I often overanalyse my feelings/emotions and check that I’m feeling happy enough. If I’m not, it makes me super anxious that I’m not enjoying life enough. In the past, Ive been known to keep diaries when on holiday to keep track of my feelings so I can check back afterwards to make sure I did actually have a good time. In my brain, everyone effortlessly seems to enjoy life, social gatherings, big events, holidays…enjoyment seems to come to easy to other people? Whereas I, whilst I do enjoy myself at times, find myself obsessing over enjoying stuff enough or being happy enough. Like if I’m not euphorically happy or crying from laughter every 2 minutes, I’m clearly not living life. I’m not sure if it’s an OCD trait or…? It certainly feels it, what with all the checking and monitoring of feelings. It’s definitely heightened around big events (parties, social gatherings, weddings, holidays). It’s a theme I come back to quite a lot and I find it quite distressing. Most of my themes are very internal and a lot of compulsions are mental, I spend a LOT of time ruminating if I’m having a bad day. Hope someone else can relate or maybe has some tips? :)

What was your most absurd obsession? I’ll start. I once convinced myself I didn’t have blood. Yes I am fully aware that you need blood to live, but I just didn’t believe I had any and I was resisting the urge to try and find out.😂

I love my husband very much. I feel at peace when I’m with him and I like to make him happy. But ever since the soocd kicked in, I can’t stop thinking about whether im an imposter. What if I’m actually not straight and this whole time I was just going by what society told me was right - liking guys. What if when I was little I forced myself to crush on guys because my dad is homophobic? I had a sexual dream with another girl and it was like if I could control my actions and thoughts in the dream and I didn’t stop myself. That scares me so much. I just don’t want to hurt my husband in the future if I ever figure out if my true self is not who I thought I was. Sometimes I don’t know if it’s truly ocd or denial but it consumes my thoughts alllll day!

Suicidal ocd got so bad again, i means i still didnt healed that and i dont know how to heal it. I say its suicidal ocd but i still feel like it might be real and i explain why. Again i got so frustrated and felt down that i got thoughts like just end it im tired. Theres no guarantee that one day i might not act on this tho and this is why im afraid. Alot of times these thoughts come up when im angry, frustrated and depressed and even that i dont want to, its not concious, it makes me cope with the feelings cause when i have these thoughts suddenly the pain goes away and thats why im afraid cause it feels like im coping the pain with the thoughts of dying. I feels so diffetent than how others discribe suicidal ocd. I actually find it that mine is similar to the people who says they experienced suicidal thoughts before. I heard someone sharing her story and said she hated how shr looked and she experienced suicidal thoughts. For me when i deal with any anger or shame or i feel like i look ugly i do have these thoughzs too popping up my mind, i dont like them but they are there, but the girl who said it didnt liked them either and i feel like alot of times when people share about their suicidal thoughts, they doesnt like them. And what is the scariest thing to me, the usual beleif is that suicidal people doesnt want to die, they just want to end the pain. So there is, they doesnt want to die, they just want to escape. And when i ask that myself, i respond like well yeah i dont want die but do i want to stop the suffering? Well yeah who doesnt... and these thoughts are really strong for me it seems like i do have some problems with that cause others doesnt seem to struggle like this with it. So should i accept that im actually have suicidal problems and accept the shame and bad feeling and work on that?

Hi everyone. I really want to go back to enjoying my life. I know its possible as i felt like this before 7 years ago but i am to much in my head to remember how i snapped out of it. I keep having panic attacks. I know there panic attacks. I know there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I know im not gonna just drop dead. Yet i keep getting anxious. I absolutely love my life. I have a job i enjoy. A loving husband and two beautiful children. Although we have normal life struggles i am still happy with my life. Yet 4 weeks ago my panic attacks started again. After being dormant for 7 years. Im afraid of death and leaving my family and life. I dont know why i am so afraid. I am a Christian (although i dont go to church) i believe in God and i believe my life is planned out for me. I believe whatever is gonna happen will happen and we are just along for the ride. I know whenever my times comes it will be my time. No amount of panicking will change that. I guess despite my faith i am human and the unknown of death and the fear if what i believe isnt real i could cease to exist and thats terrifying. I just want to be able to take on life not living in fear.

I've struggled for years thinking if I offend God, he'll unalive me in my sleep. I think every pain is a sign I've offended him. The issue is, I'm not religious. Not in that way. I was raised pagan. But my brain is like "God is gonna kill you" and I obsess over dying. Im terrified. Because i believethere is life after death but my brain wont let me believe it in bad obsessive times. Am I alone in this?

Hi everyone I honestly feel so defeated My anxiety and ocd has been so intense I have intrusive thoughts about everything for example I suffer w harm ocd I suffer w the thought that I feel like I’m not genuine I suffer with being terrified of mental illness such as schizophrenia I get scared I’ll snap n lose control I suffer with the fact that I’m scared my anxiety will never go away n I’ll never get better I suffer w being so irritable w the people I love Recently I’ve been terrified people r staring at me and can read through my body language of how I think Today my brain felt scrambled, I woke up for work when I didn’t have work - in my defense I didn’t check the schedule and took this day off a month ago I went to the wrong location for a workout class And I went to a friends house took off my shoes n can’t find them. So now I’m fearing that I’m losing my mind n becoming delusional. I want to try medication but I’ve heard so many bad things. I’m just so sad of feeling like this. This is my outlet bc some of you understand. But it’s really isolating idk how some people even work it’s hard sometimes I push myself every single day and it’s been 3 years and I feel like I’ve had no sense of peace. Any advice?

I can't get out of bed. I can't eat. I'm already skinny. My thoughts and responses are so confusing now, they've all blended together and it feels so real now. All I'm thinking now is "I am." Even though I don't want to be, it's not me, but scenarios are playing in my head as if I like them and want them. I just don't want to be here anymore. I had other themes but they have been pushed out for this one.

Growing up i never felt forgiven for anything. No one ever said “it’s okay I’m not mad at you”. As an adult I don’t know how to forgive myself for anything. I feel like a bad person for absolutely everything even my own thoughts. I don’t know how to stop telling myself that I’m the only person like this and that everyone around me is normal.

Does anyone else fear they may die in there sleep?

Hi guys! I’m Kells I’m 25 and I was diagnosed ocd when I was around 16. Ever since I can remember I’ve been terrified of losing loved ones. It was about my parents passing away when I was young and now I’m worried constantly that my fiancé will pass when I’m not with him. It’s magical thinking like I have control. But I know I don’t and that’s terrifying. I know logically it’s not likely, but ocd works with fear. And I’m terrified of losing him. I even had a dream when we first started dating saying he would die young and I’m petrified that was a “sign”. The other aspect of my ocd has been religious and afterlife fears. I’m scared of dying and what it’ll feel like. I’m scared that if I don’t believe in a religion like Christianity and it becomes true I will burn in hell. I’m just scared.

Please only read this if you are 18+ (contains mention of s**cide) I have had severe body dysmorphia since beginning college. I’ve been skinny my whole life and have an entirely flat chest. I was doing really good for a while, but I made the mistake of looking at social media today… There is an influencer who is built exactly like me and I always go to her page to find positivity…I looked at some of her recent posts and the things men and women were saying about her were horrific. Among some of the many hate comments were things like “nightmare body”, “genetically inferior to other women”, and just brutal things each of which would take a person years to recover from hearing. There were countless gifs of dancing skeletons, and a lot of surprisingly attractive people brutally bashing her. I haven’t felt suicidal in years and all at once I see very little point in going on. The world has finally defeated me and I just can’t see what the point is in seeking happiness if I could only ever possibly be lying to myself when i feel good about myself.

do you guys have sometimes moral/ethical rumination about why something that is obviously bad is bad? I'm afraid of it because sometimes I feel like I don't have an immediate or sufficient answer, and that I believe something is wrong just because of collective morals, and not because i genuinely believe it is bad and that makes me sick. I'm afraid of faking it. I had a very triggering disturbing question about why something is bad and i didn't have a sufficient answer for me to make me believe that it was a genuine belief of mine. It bothers me that I'm not so firm about a certain belief, and yet it's the very thing that made me want to end my life a while ago. I'm afraid that im faking my repulsion to evil and horrible things and I just think that way for convenience. I can't tolerate it, not because of what others would think but because i can't tolerate living myself like a sick monster that has sick thoughts.

I am in extreme depression now. I am not getting a job. I graduated almost 9 years ago and still jobless. I really want to earn money and live an independent life. I am 30 years old and still not married. These things are causing me anxiety. It doesn't mean i haven't tried. I really tried my best to get a job and get married but all in vain. I also prayed alot. I am not impatient. I bore patience for a long time but now its getting harder for me. I feel so miserable. Please pray for me. I feel like giving up. 😭😭😭😭