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can ocd give us false feelings? I had an intrusive thought and I’m scared I liked it.

I’m a rookie when it comes to ocd (I have had it almost all my life but got diagnosed 3 years ago). I want to know which books were most helpful for your recovery (my main struggles are with false memory, guilt, shame, and real event). Also, I have been reading Albert Ellis’s book “How to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable”, would love your opinion on whether it was helpful if youve read it.

I used to have an asbestos contamination obsession. It was pretty unhealthy. I learned how to identify the material and would go through bottle upon bottles of hand sanitizer to “protect” myself from likely nothing. Now my POCD, ROCD. and false memory ocd is making me hardly want to live. I called in twice this week and haven’t gone to classes at all. I’ve been in therapy through here for about 2 month but I’m getting worse. I get evaluated for meds next Friday and I’m having such a hard time thinking how far that really is. I haven’t left bed today. At least I was more functional with the asbestos theme. It was very annoying, but it was nothing like this

Anyone else with false memory / real event ever turn into a detective and start to guess details while looking back on old pictures to see if you’re correct about anything? If you have been correct about anything how did you cope? I’ve been correct about a radiator on a wall & I dunno if I’m being delusional here but it’s making me feel like my false memory is real even though I’m sure it’s not? I dunno if I’m just completely alone in this but I feel like it.

When I was 15/16, I would talk to random strangers online in chatrooms. I was really lonely, moved to a strange city, and the pandemic had started during this time too. I thought it was funny to just mess around with people. But then it got weird. I would talk to people, tell them my name. I trusted some of them. It’s so embarrassing. I look back and realize a lot of those people were genuinely weirdos and idk why I was so gullible but. It all plays into my OCD. I keep thinking what if I talked to those people because I’m like them/will become like them. Why was I so stupid? What if I really wasn’t gullible and I knew better even though I know that I genuinely was sheltered and dumb asf because I was 15/16 and knew nothing about life?

Now I feel like one is imminent, I’m starting to really struggle and my anxiety is through the roof. I started Wegovy 4 weeks ago and also switched from combination birth control pill to the mini pill about the same time, I’m wondering if these changes are impacting my mental stability and triggering my OCD. I’m so scared, replaying real event (or false memory) things over and over again in my head again.

I deal with false memories, I’ve had a few that have been pretty bad, but normally I’ve been able to tell myself “hey, this is false.” I remembered something a few months ago, and a genuinely don’t know if it’s false? When I first remembered it, it never crossed my mind at all that it could be false. I just assumed it was entirely true. But now that I’ve been thinking about it, there is a possibility that it could be false. It supposedly took place last year during the fall or winter, I remembered it last august. It’s an extremely extremely specific scenario, and the memory is kinda complex. I also vaguely remember remembering it earlier, but it now affecting me that much? Although that could have just been having intrusive thoughts related to the subject. With my confusion on whether or not this memory is false of course comes my ocd shoving it’s way into everything. Something my brain has been telling me recently is “if the memory could be false then maybe only parts of it are and you’re actually just a terrible person” (that would make more sense if I explained the memory). And now I have to keep reminding myself that it’s either all true or it’s all fake, because our ocd would not produce the “better part” of the memory without producing the “worse part”.

My new physician who is evaluating me for OCD asked about if I hear voices. I immediately got anxious and still am 24 hours later. I am deathly afraid of going schizophrenic and losing my grip on reality so my intrusive thoughts are very much surrounded my sounds , imagining I’m hearing a voice , being hyperaware , or being afraid of silence. When I said no I do not have auditory hallucinations I then begin to tell myself that I was lying and I probably am having hallucinations but just sane enough to lie about it? I am in a cycle of self doubt and it is driving me nuts. Why can’t I just take my diagnosis for what it is? And believe it is the right one?

I downloaded this app yesterday hoping to find a bit of comfort among other people struggling with the same things. I’m really scared to post but I’m trying anyway. I have two really bad intrusive thoughts that make my life very difficult. One is this intrusive memory of when I was dog sitting when I 14. I was impatient so I pulled on the dogs leash (as his owner said I could tug on it and he would come). But he didn’t move and think I pulled way too hard and I’ve been wracked with guilt. This was 5 years ago and it still haunts me. I can hear the dog coughing and I think it was from me pulling too hard. About 6 months later he passed away and I fear greatly that something i did caused it even though he was old. In my head I wonder if I’m a truly evil person to hurt something smaller and less powerful than me. I didnt intend to hurt him but I worry I hurt him more than I know. It haunts me. I go over and over the memory in my head with seeing which parts are really, wondering if I’m evil. I also deal with POCD. I am in college currently but I feel like I’ve aged ten years since the onset of my symptoms. It’s taken my joy and innocence from me. I just want to live a good life and be a good person but my brain is malfunctioning. In addition I am frustrated bc my psychiatrist did not diagnose me with OCD but said all my symptom were due to GAD even though I meet all of the requirements including cycles of intrusive thoughts and compulsions( though mine are mostly mental). It’s difficult not having an official name for what I going through.

Hello everyone, I just started going to the university psychologist and she told me she is going to test me about having anxiety and stuff but I haven’t told her that I think I may have ocd and that I want her to tell me if the possibility is real and that I have ocd or not. I didn’t tell her because it was my first session and I don’t trust her enough for me to open and really talk about what is happening to me The issue is that, everyday I think i do better but then my mind thinks/ says/ makes me feel like something happened and I just didn’t realize, but the feeling is there On my session I met her and she met me, and at one point I told her that I have intrusive thoughts and the feeling that I have hurt people without realizing, but not remembering it, not feeling it, and she told me that intrusive thoughts are intrusive! Opposite to who I am, and that I shouldn’t be worrying about accidentally hurting people when I know deep inside I didn’t, and that if they get mad for nothing is their problem, not mine The issue is that, idk if someone else struggles with this but my real/false memories are not about “not remembering having told horrible things to your best friend two years ago” are about, “physically having hurt someone two seconds ago when I stretched my hand, even though I didn’t feel the hitting, I asked them if I got them hit and they said no, and that is impossible to my hand to reach the person because there is two meters of difference between us” Or maybe, another situation to example my fear Let’s say that someone is on the corner of a room. I enter the room and sit in the other opposite corner of the room, while I sit a vivid image of me traveling to the other corner of the room and slapping the person pops in my head and now I’m convinced that I hit the person even though I don’t remember standing up from the chair, walking to the corner and slapping the person, there is just the mental image and the feeling that I did it that convinces me that I did that and now I’m ashamed to the person I supposedly hit and I can’t look them into their eyes Idk if I explained myself (English is not my maternal language) but I really, really don’t know if someone is having the same “intrusive false memories” that are immediately and that makes you have 0 trust in your senses

I think I realized (probably too late) that I’m scared of losing myself to one of these themes. I’m not sure if it’s like this for everyone but sometimes when I have intrusive thoughts it slowly erodes my own sense of self. Intrusive thoughts become so muddied and virtually indistinguishable from my own. I have this idea of myself that all of my intrusive thoughts go entirely against, and I’m afraid I won’t be me anymore. I am trying to practice more self love, and more self care in general. I’m trying here. To gain a self esteem, to not be in control but to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

I cry everyday thinking of things. Please help and share if this is truly what OCD does. I keep thinking in my past I was pregnant. I remember being paranoid but i do not remember taking a pregnancy test. Ocd keeps putting things in my head such as “you did a pregnancy test” or “you had a miscarriage” I tell my mom this and she is my biggest supporter but I feel like I was because i’m starting to believe it and give up.

How can you tell the difference between actual memories and false memory OCD? I try to do this but every time I do it my mind wonders off

Honestly, I relapsed so hard these days. I can´t keep my mind free of intrusive thoughts. My mind always come up with something I did or I think I did that makes me feel Iḿ the worst person ever. I feel super ashamed and guilty. I can´t stand it anymore. Im crying in my bed right now, out of frustration.

i’m sorry for posting a lot but i’m relapsing again and it’s hitting hard this time. It feels so real the thoughts feel like they are becoming mine and I thought i was doing better but no Im not because im suffering again. I feel like this time i can’t ignore them if i do they will be my thoughts. i will become who i fear becoming. i don’t want to die but i don’t want to live like this. i’ve never been more suicidal then when this last ocd relapse hit. this is the 3rd month im going through this theme and it’s relentless and painful and attacks every.little.thing. i doubt everything. i’m sorry for posting so much but. i’m afraid i can’t keep on moving. my heart is tired and beat up and broken and my mind is against me so how can I trust it? idk i don’t want this. it feels so real.

sometimes when I read all these posts I just start crying 😭😭 I hate that we are all suffering like this… ocd is not for the weak and its so frustrating 😭 Im really tired honestly… my ocd has its good and bad days but im just exhausted by all of it. I cant enjoy simple things because my ocd has to overcomplicate every little thing and create these “signs” as to what I am and what I am not. Ive had ocd for over a year now im a just upset 😭😭😭 I dont want to live like this forever… I have a lot of people who say, “you can talk to me if you want” and its really sweet 💓 but I dont think anyone can understand what I am feeling because even I cant… I dont know what im doing- how im feeling- who I am- or even what my values are 😭 ocd just makes me question everything. I am a 14 year old girl 😭😭😭 how am I supposed to know what to do? Ive talked mom about my ocd a few times and she tries to help but she doesn’t even understand 1/5th of what I go through daily. I appreciate her caring even if its a little but I just want some help 😭😭 I am a bit scared of therapy though. But im willing to try but im not sure if my mom will let me… Ocd just makes me feel so unlovable. I hate it.

It's been a couple of years going through my mental health journey. Long story short I had an identity crisis after smoking a lot of weed consistently. Psychosis runs in my family along with some other mental health issues. I started to question everything about myself I broke down in front of coworkers and they started tormenting me. Purposefully taking fallic shaped objects and dangling them around my face. Telling me I'm gay, purposefully triggering me by messaging me you don't know who you are multiple times a day. It was psychological warfare. Everytime I tried to stand up for myself my body would freeze and I would go into survival mode. I would black out and suppress these memories to make myself feel better. It became a habit. At home I was also getting bullied by people that I thought were friends. One of them grabbed my testicles and told me to repeat after me "you're gay". I remember repeating "you're gay" back to him as I was in survival mode and had no control of my body or mind in the moment. I couldn't even see clearly or hear my own voice. This happened 3 more times. I now think I say my trauma out loud after I'm triggered. I believe I go back into my trauma moments and repeat things people may have said to me while I was "spaced out" in the past. I have some memories but they are very foggy and I feel as though I can't trust my own mind right now. I'm scared to go into any social situations because I'm afraid I may say my trauma responses out loud. So do I have HOCD which is then triggering my trauma? Can trauma create OCD type symptoms? I am doing trauma threapy but should I be more focused on OCD therapy?

Advice needed 8 years ago I had the worst experience ever with intrusive images. They were flashing like crazy. They felt immersive. They felt real. My first worry was “what if these are from god” and I found that other people experience that I proved this wrong… however it’s resurfaced Now it’s “your images look weird… nobody else’s images look like this” So I check my memory But god, it’s difficult to know what’s accurate and what’s not How do I prove it’s not supernatural? Not from god? Not from something else? Not something more than OcD? I’m afraid there’s a message - something telling me to do something bad I just want my old head back and not being in this space Please help

i hate ocd i hate the control it has i hate the inability to distinguish real from fake i hate the immense guilt i hate it feeling like a horrible person

It starts off with thinking you’ve done something wrong but it’s hazy it doesn’t say what but it fits with what you’re afraid of. It then starts adding pictures and scenarios and they start to become more and more detailed until you don’t know what’s real or not anymore. I’ve struggled with this for almost 15 years of the same false memories occasionally adding more details. Has anyone else had this experience of false memories becoming so detailed it’s hard to argue against?