Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I’m so mentally exhausted… as soon as I have a short period of time where I feel everything is good my body decides to be like “oh hey here’s this, you should definitely get that checked out” I’m so sick of the worrying, I’m so sick of the medical bills, I’m so sick of the drs, im sick of losing sleep, I’m so sick of not being able to live my life fully & peacefully. I’m just so tired. People tell me “you know you just don’t have control over these kind of things” OKAY but if I catch it in time then I do a little.. if there’s a slightest chance I can prevent something bad happening to me my brain refuses to give up on it until I’m 100% certain that particular thing is ok. It just never rests. I try to think positively & manifest good things into my life & my body. I saw somewhere if you think something enough & start to believe it then it could actually happen which has become a whole new fear of mine. So now I’m like “don’t manifest a tumor, don’t manifest heart issues” but it’s THERE. I’m just lost, I hate living like this. Any words of encouragement? If you experience this, what helps you?? Or does anything?

Does anyone else have an obsession with maybe needing to go to the hospital? I get in this thought loop where I have an intrusive thought or feeling and think hey that’s not right and then I think hmmm maybe I need to go to the hospital. It’s been going on for over 6 months on and off now. Part of me thinks maybe there is some truth to it? But I also think it’s a compulsion at this point it’s so draining

I wish I had someone in my life that understands this that i could talk to when i feel my panic attacks happening.I feel so exhausted my brain hurts and it’s attacking me every second of the day especially right now.Every day it makes thoughts abut something happening to me or someone i know and i can’t control it ,I am loosing weight and becoming unhealthier than before because my mind has made me think im gonna get hurt every time i eat.I tried eating right now even when the intrusive thought was horrible so that i could get over the fear but now my stomach feels weird and i am nauseous , which is leading to a panic attack.But im just crying alone because i cant explain this to anybody. (sorry for this i just had to write some of my feelings down)

From health OCD TO HARM OCD For a year I was running to the ER for ANYTHING and now I feel like i kinda want to die 🤣 Like WHERE IS ME?

anyone else have this? It’s like every sound I hear when I’m home alone i worry it’s in my head. I often feel like i see something out if the corner of my eye moving and it isn’t keep in mind my peripheral vision is messed up from astigmatism so it’s most likely that.

Does being on my period or having upcoming menstrual symptoms worsen my OCD symptoms? Is it because of the added pain, or the added chemicals in my body? Anyone else experience this?

Has anyone overcame this theme? Or been thought this theme? I have a fear of schizo and now I’m just constantly scanning to see if I hear things. It’s so bad I constantly pay attention to every single noise and can hear everything now because of this theme. I’m constantly scanning and even my inner voice/ imagination has scared me because I think “what if this is schizo” I’m so scared of everything due to this theme

One of my themes is HIV fears, and I was just at Walmart picking out a shirt from the rack that they have them all folded up on. I was reaching for one from the bottom shelf and my hand brushed against the underside of the shelf above and they're was a sharp part that cut open my thumb. I panicked and took a picture of underneath and it was just the shelf was sharp where it looked welded but it made me bleed a lot and now I'm freaked out thinking it could have a disease

I’ve been diagnosed with ocd. I first started off with harm ocd.when I got over it, it started switching into new themes. Every week I’d have to deal with a new thought/fear. And now i feel like im stuck again! Im not sure what type of ocd im going through right now. But im scared of hallucinating. Im scared of hearing things that aren’t there. So that caused me to be hyper aware of every sound I hear. And I now focus on white noises so much ( like AC, fridge, water pipes, the tv when it’s far away etc.) and I start to question my sister: can you hear that ? Because I’m super scared the I’m hallucinating. But usually she’ll answer with yes she can hear it. But I’ve been struggling with something else too. I sleep with the AC on and I’ve been doing for years. But during the past month that caused me so much stress and anxiety. Because I feel like whenever the AC is on I hear other things (not people talk or words or specific things) just unclear sounds. And I’m not sure if that’s in my head or it’s actually there but because the AC sound loud I can’t recognize the other sounds im hearing. And I get so anxious when I try to sleep because everything is so quiet and it’s just me and the AC on. So I feel like everything is loud. And I don’t know if the unclear sounds are in my head or real. And yesterday when I tried to sleep a police car went by and the siren of it was loud too. I focused on the sound. And questioned if it’s real or not. Then I started hearing the siren non stop for 3 minutes probably. Even though I’m sure the police car went by. So I was scared and terrified that I was hallucinating. And now I’m just scared that what if I’m not hyper aware ocd. What if I’m schizophrenic. What if I’m going crazy. I’m so scared. And I’m worrying that this will happen again if I go to sleep tonight. Someone help me please and give me advice!

I spend a lot of time ruminating about my health and how I'm going to get past all of the thoughts I think of and the events that I think of in the past. It leaves me really nauseous randomly throughout my days. Anyone else get this from their OCD? It makes me worry more about my health

Hi all, this technically isn’t OCD related although I believe my OCD and hyper fixation on it is making it worse. I just know this community has been supportive in the past. I was able to get past my harm thoughts and urges OCD which made life hell a year and a half ago. I thought that was impossible, but I did it and feel like that is behind me. Although thoughts still come into my mind, I manage so much better. Recently, after a painful ear irrigation to clean ear wax I got stuck because I had a bad habit of sticking my finger in there to clean it out. Ever since then, I’ve had a feeling of fullness in that ear and now tinnitus which has just gotten worse and is in the other ear now. Multiple tones, like 8 or so. I’m also getting noise distortions and can’t mask my tinnitus very well because it seems to get louder with a lot of other noises. My life feels like a living hell, I miss my old hearing and the worst part of this is that I feel like it’s all my fault. Maybe that’s my OCD wanting to go back in time and not completely ruin my life. I don’t know how to go forward, and it doesn’t seem to get better, only worse. Feeling suicidal. By comparison, OCD felt easy. Thoughts I realized are controllable. This can’t be controlled though and I hate it. I don’t see a way out of this at this point unless I start seeing improvements. Any support helps.

I’ve been struggling a lot lately with health anxiety and obsessing over every little thing thinking I have something wrong with me. I’ve been googling symptoms and now I’m scared I have cancer, a brain tumor, or brain aneurysm. How do I stop doing this to myself? 😞

I’ve had OCD for a year now. At the beginning I didn’t have much anxiety, just a lot of intrusive thoughts, time passed, now I still do have intrusive thoughts but I have more depersonalization in a way I never heard of before & I need to know if it’s part of OCD or who else is going through this: I no longer feel real, like if my life is shown of a VR play, it’s not hard to remember past memories but definitely don’t feel like I’ve lived them, my brain feels so full in a weird uncomfortable way; like just how your physical body gets dirty with dirt, I feel that way but ofc on my brain. If I feel a tiny bit angry or feel any emotion by just a little, it extends so much more out of no where, overall I feel SO fake, I forgot what normal feels like, my pills won’t work currently waiting for my therapy, like I want to know who else is going through this please! go ahead & write how you feel also, I just don’t wanna be alone in this .. it’s completely out of my control now.

Hi everybody I have a quick question. I have been dating for a while and unfortunately we had to break up because of all the fights and troubles. We also had really really nice moments and I am pretty sad it didn't work out. Mostly had something to do with me boyfriends past. I have always been an overthinker, had lots of anxiety and stress etc. But last year was really bad sometimes. Now my question is; I am so scared due to all the stress (alternating with really good moment) causing cancer. Stress was always just 1 or 2 days, so not months on end. But I know stress decreaseds your immunsystem and therefore can cause cancer. I am not looking for reassurance regarding if stress does or does not cause cancer. But what I wanted to know is: is it my fault when eventually I do get cancer due to the stress? It was really a mix of things and the breakup was nobody's fault but it feels so annoying that now I don't have a boyfriend anymore and maybe I get cancer from all the stress... so I am beating myself up for not ending it sooner. There was no physical fight or anything, it just didn't work out and we both know this is for the best. Still I am mad at myself for all the stress I caused myself

I was in the bathroom and I noticed a big blister like bump down there and now I'm just more worried than I already have been about my health for months now. It just came up there out of nowhere and all I've been trying to do is keep myself clean ever since my impulsive behavior from my addiction. I'm really worried and I don't know what's going on. Now I have a hideous bump there and never in my life have I ever had something like this.

I’m new to all this and just wanted to post what I’ve been going through. After experiencing hallucinations from sleep deprivation, an overwhelming fear of possibility developing schizophrenia has become like.. a theme for me? I also have visual snow/bad vision so lately, I guess a compulsion I have been doing is double checking if I’m seeing stuff or hearing voices, but it’s nothing. I’m just stressing about a sound of an ac, for example, y’know? Another one is checking my heart constantly in fear of a stroke/heart attack. Any body sensation or muscle twitch makes me spiral so bad. It’s gotten to a point where if I laugh or get up from my bed, or do something that requires physical movement, I stop to check my heart and panic if it’s fast. This all has just been so distressing for me and I have a lot more things that I think and worry about obsessively. It’s the constant what ifs that are so debilitating.

Hi, I have never posted on a forum before because I’m scared someone will come back and say ‘it’s not OCD’. Anyway, I have always had obsessional thoughts. Always obsessed about my health and if I was going to die. I have always had intrusive thoughts and when I was around 16 I had my first awful one HOCD. This made me feel so sick and I couldn’t leave my bed. Would look at women and get groinal responses and would avoid anything LGBTQ. I then suffered with POCD, which I nearly asked to be sectioned over. Now, I am with my current partner (2months) and we are moving in together in 2 weeks. I have known him since I was 14 and have always had a thing for him. Anyway, last year there was this person at work who I forced and convinced myself to ‘like’ don’t even know if I even did to be honest. But his background is awful and everyone around me said it was a bad decision and I knew this too. We used to talk all the time but yeah, anyway… I said I didn’t want a relationship and distanced myself from him and never really thought about him. I’m now in my relationship with my current partner and I adore him. He is fully aware of what is going on in my head. I have also just started therapy. My head is comparing him to this guy at work. Makes me think they look alike, but this all stemmed from when my current partner was talking about his family past and I instantly thought oh no, I hope my family doesn’t think this is bad (they love him). So now, my head is saying ‘what if you love this other guy’ what if the reason you can’t get this out your head is because the universe is giving you a sign’ ‘what if everyone told you not to go there, then what’ the thoughts are endless and honestly, I can’t stop crying, it is making me physically sick, have panic attacks. I confess to my partner all the time and he is honestly so supportive! I feel like I’m mentally cheating or what if I’m denial. When we first got together I was fine. No thoughts and then bang I’m consumed. My head is filled with them. I feel congested with him. I feel disgusting. I look for reassurance. I constantly look on Quora and Reddit. I can’t cope. I love my current partner! And we tried getting together years ago but it wasn’t our time and since, I thought about him every now and again and now my brain is saying ‘oh see, what if it’s the same situation with this guy a work’ I just want coping mechanisms and relief. This honestly feels like torture.!!! oh and my head says ‘what if you go to therapy and discover your true desires and it turns out that it isn’t ocd’

No matter how much I know it doesn't help me I can't help but do them. I can't help but try my best to find an answer and I never do. I just want to find an answer to something I impulsively acted upon one day and hope I'm not going to die because of it soon. My health OCD always tells me that. I hate what my addiction turned into and I hate that I've had so much trouble to stop it for good. I'm still trying to this day but I'm still worried about the smallest things about my health. I can't help but Google forums about sexual health because of how much I've watched porn and acted on it and how it's affected my physical health besides mental health. I spent so many times searching on Quora what an answer could be and there were times where I thought I found an answer that I can sit with. But then I end up worrying and thinking all over again and just repeat the cycle. What I hate so much about searching on Quora is getting related questions from underaged people. I always try to scroll past them quickly and not read them because they're too disturbing and they trigger me. I just can't seem to find an answer that will help me. And groinals make this so much worse for me because I don't intend to read this stuff for arousal, I just want to stop worrying about my sexual health. I want to get checked for this but I'm afraid that others will know and I don't want them to know. Eventually I came across someone talking about an answer to a question and for some stupid reason someone decided to post a nude under their answer and it just triggered me heavily. I stopped searching for an answer afterward but I just hate how my actions have led up to this. I just that I've been struggling with this for so long and I hate that I'm probably gonna end up doing this all over again.

As the title suggests, my OCD acts up whenever bodily fluids are involved, including my own. 😅 It has caused me difficulties in my relationship. My partner is perfectly content with the pace we are at regarding intimacy and is incredibly patient with me; however, I can react at even the slightest idea of getting “contaminated” with, say, my partner’s fluids. ☹️ Early in our relationship, even when we were hugging fully clothed, I worried about contamination (and also magically “getting pregnant”☠️) because our bodies were touching at the crotch area. I’m doing better now, but I’ve been unable to engage in certain acts because of it. My partner is not asking for anything—in fact, he is perfectly content waiting until marriage! I’m more so asking for my sake. I just know that when the time DOES arrive that we both want to get more intimate—even if that means just removing more clothing,—I know I will be terrified of getting contaminated. Today, for example, while kissing, I accidentally bit his lip and tasted blood. INSTANTLY the mood was destroyed and I couldn’t function properly. I felt so much guilt for being this disturbed because it’s my PARTNER, of all people, but I began worrying about STDs. Does anyone have any tips? My OCD mainly fixates on pregnancy and STDs here.

Does anyone else make themselves feel physically sick when they’re anxious? It’s like I’m making myself sick with reoccurring thoughts of worry. If you do, how do you make yourself feel better in those moments..?