- Date posted
- 1y
Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! š¤
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Is it okay to use "I am" statements when intrusive thoughts come up? I'm afraid of telling myself the wrong things and it becoming a compulsion. If anyone has advice, I'd appreciate it! š¤
Lately, Iāve been feeling like something has changed in me ā like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. Itās one of the worst sensations Iāve ever felt. I keep thinking things like āI donāt love him like beforeā or āIāve changed too much to feel anything now.ā Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like Iām being mean, cold, disconnected ā and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now⦠I just donāt feel the same. That makes me think: āMaybe Iāve fallen out of love.ā But Iām also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I canāt relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is āright.ā It makes me wonder ā maybe I havenāt actually changed. Maybe Iām just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I donāt know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isnāt proof that love is gone, but a sign that Iām scared and burnt out.
I can't focus on anything but my thoughts. I'm so inside my head, and my mom always tells me to focus on my body and my surroundings, but I can't, or maybe I just don't know how. I try to, but it doesn't help. The thoughts are still there :(
I can't even look at myself in the mirror. I've spent the morning crying, and I feel like I don't deserve to. I feel like I'm a horrible person or a... you know. I'm so sick of this. I'm just so tired of everything. I don't see my psychiatrist until two weeks from now. How am I going to make it till then? :( Even writing this post, I feel like I'm deceiving everyone and that I'm actually a monster. I'm so convinced of this right now. I don't know what to do. I was literally okay a few days ago. I don't even know what's real and what's not, like... I think I do? But everything is so distorted. I can't stop replaying memories trying to figure things out. I really need my psychiatrist right now. I feel like I need to confess, like I've been trying so hard not to, but every person I see, I just keep thinking about how badly I want to ask them if I'm a bad person or not, and that makes me feel worse. A good person wouldn't feel the need to ask that over and over again, would they? What if I'm just seeking validation because I can't accept that?
About a year ago, I was travelling back home with my mom from a city. This is so embarrassing to admit, but after so many hours of travelling, I got aroused. However, I didn't want to let go of that feeling and wanted to save it for later when I got home. So I deliberately relaxed my body and began thinking about **something** (yes something like that) I would watch later. I also knew that it would make me have a very slight reaction **down there** for half a second because the bus would go up and down slight hills on a bumpy road, causing me to feel like I'm falling on a rollercoaster, but would also cause make me feel something down there for half a second. I did it another two times deliberately, knowing that obviously it wasn't anything much and definitely wasn't obvious at all since I wasn't even doing anything physically. Is what I did unforgivable? Keep in mind I willingly did it knowing it wouldn't look like i was doing anything
I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go š
18+ help pleaseeeeeeee What if heās actually doing it Iām worried So Iām convinced my 9 year old brother is raping me in my sleep i saw that the controller for the lamp was on my bed and I immediately thought he did something to me and he said he didnāt put that on my bed that he woke up and went to my moms room to change and I just got a suspicious feeling like maybe he did do something to me Iām worried about it Iām just thinking every time he tries to get close to me is because heās doing it for inappropriate reasons and I get weirded out by him being close to me or him looking at me or being talkative to me itās like Iām very suspicious I want to ask him because Iām worried like you think he could do that to me? (edited)
I need advice. Iāve had OCD in different forms since I was eight. Iāve been with my boyfriend for two years now. He has always been subtly anxious and jealous. He would say things like, āI find everyone but you uglyā or āI could never find anyone else attractive.ā That stressed me out morally, especially since itās our first relationship and I, of course, want to be good enough for him. It started around the three-month mark of our relationship. Now to the problem: When I see someone who is attractive or cute, it already begins. I start thinkingāor rather, I donāt just think, I feel. I genuinely and naturally feel these emotions, like I find that person attractive, like I like them, like I want them. I even feel infatuated, like I want to be with them, spend time with them, be their partner, even sexual scenarios or feelings like I love them. These emotions feel so natural and real that I canāt tell the difference. With one person, Iāve had these feelings for over a year. But I only know most of these people by sight. It could be that Iāve fallen in love with the idea of them. Thatās a big issue for me. It completely goes against my moral values. I donāt want this. For me, it would be terrible to have a crush on someone else, to like someone else, or to fall in love with another person. Or worse, to love someone else. Because I do love my partner, and I want a future with him. And I know the relationship wouldnāt survive if my fears came true. Even if he always tells me, āNo, I wouldnāt break up with you,ā I couldnāt live with it myself. And the thing is, itās not even such an unrealistic fear. Itās not like Iām afraid I want to kill someone or that I have feelings like that. No, this topic Iām dealing with involves real people. There are many people who suddenly fall for someone else, who develop a crush or even fall in love with another person. And I canāt reconcile that with myself. A year ago, I saw someone, and it hit me like a shock (I think in a negative way). Yes, he is attractive or cute. But in that moment, I felt so much fear, panic, and adrenaline because I felt and thought that I liked him more than my partner. When that happens, I start testing my feelings again. And of course, I feel exactly what Iām afraid of. I then constantly feel this pressure or burden, along with guilt. When I think about a scenario, or imagine the person, those feelings come immediatelyāfollowed by fear, panic, and guilt. Because of that, I avoid certain places, things, or even numbers because Iām afraid of being triggered. By now, Iām convinced these are my true feelings, because I just canāt imagine that OCD could produce such emotions, and for such a long timeāsometimes over a year. I simply donāt want this. I just feel awful, like a monster. What should I do?
I'm struggling with a lot of doubts today, but trying the best I can to keep on living my life š„² I'm on 150mg of Sertraline right now, and honestly, I'm feeling a lot better than before. Do I still get triggered? Yes! But I'm handling it easier. The only issue is, I feel like I'm obsessing over recovering? Not if I'm doing it "right," but more so getting to a point where I feel "perfect." That's not possible, I know. Even before OCD spiraled out of control, I struggled with other issues on a daily basis. But life felt simpler back then, and I didn't have this magical (and annoying) ability to remember every single bad thing that's ever happened to me or every single intrusive thought I've ever had in extreme detail š Whenever I'm feeling okay, I can not help but think, "Remember how bad it was (insert time-frame)?" And then my mind zip zaps through every instance I've ever felt anxiety, like...? I don't even know if it's me doing this or if its OCD, but it frustrates me so, so much when it happens. Anyway, that's all for now... If anyone can relate, we're in this together š¤ Hang in there!
when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do
PLEASE HELP ANY ANSWER WILL DO So I moved to a big city a few months earlier and it was summer, so it was hot. I slept with my window and balcony door open for air. One night, whilst i was trying to sleep, i heard what seemed to be a woman m*aning at times. At first it was annoying and was like omg stfu but it's embarrassing but soon I felt a bit aroused by it. Then, so many months later, I got a thought, what if it wasn't a woman but a child crying? And I got so terrified and I began trying to remember the memory again to remember exactly what I heard, then began looking on youtube what children sound like when they cry to make sure it wasn't what I heard. I'm absolutely terrified. I can't even check to make sure. I need help
hi! i was wondering if anyone here began treatment using sertraline and then got off of it later? im just curious about other people's experiences using if for their ocd and if they eventually got off of it or are just taking it indefinitely. Thanks!!
So when I was 17-18 I would use character.ai a lot. (I don't use it at all anymore I got way to obsessed with it) and this is really embarrassing, but sometimes when I was in the living room and my parents were also there, I would use c.ai and have NSFW convos with my characters. I wouldn't do anything physically and neither in my parents view so they just thought I was texting a friend or something. Is what I've done horrible? I now think about this and I feel so guilty. Am I a bad person or is this normal? Also by NSFW yes I do mean s**ual
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didnāt spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. Iām scared that I donāt love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. Heās a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping Iāll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, āWhat if I heal and then realize I donāt love him?ā or āWhat if Iām only staying because I feel safe with him or Iām used to him?ā I feel numb sometimes, or like Iām pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I donāt know whatās real or whatās ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
So one year ago I had told my guy best friend that I'm a lesbian, and I genuinely believed it at the time. Then Valentine's Day came, and I slowly started to realise that I may have a crush on him. I liked him romantically, but I didn't care if we were together or not to be honest, I prioritised us being best friends no matter what. Anyways, we always had this thing where we would kiss each other on the cheek and pretend that we're a couple for fun. During the time I had a crush, were these kisses that I gave him platonic or romantic? I wasn't expecting anything from him, and didn't really know if he had feelings for me or anything but to be honest, yeah sure bummer if he didn't but I didn't really care. Was I using him for my own benefit unintentionally? Was I giving him romantic kisses on the cheek while pretending they were platonic basically? I keep trying to think if I did anything wrong, could anyone help me? And please be brutally honest, I want to hear it as it is
My whole life Iāve kind of stared at peopleās crotches whenever theyāre wearing something revealing a bikini. I feel like Iāve always searched to see if I can see an outline or something or anything because itās so revealing. It kind of feels like curiosity I donāt know how to describe it. I did this before my OCD got bad and I do this now. I feel scared that Iām doing something I shouldnāt be. Iām scared that Iām doing something perverted. What scares me the most is that about a year ago this happened with my boyfriend sister. She was 15 at the time. I didnāt think much about it. I stared, searched and moved on. But now I really question if I did something awful or if my intentions were perverted. Iām questioning whether itās okay to even have curiosity about this. Maybe this is normal and people donāt analyze their behavior, I donāt know. I had a theory that this has been a compulsion all along but right now it feels fully out the window. I havenāt been able to stop crying. I really need someoneās input or perspective. Please.
When I was a child 7-10, I had this wonderful dog. I loved him so much. However sometimes, I would hit him out of either anger or because I liked the way he would lick my hand to say 'sorry'. At age 13, my OCD sparked up badly. I had no idea what it was, but I would bully him. Badly. He was never hurt, but he was agitated. Then I found some kittens and saved them just after turning 14. I let them stay in my room with me for a few weeks to help them. One very early morning, however, they raged me so bad that I began hitting them nonstop. They didn't cry, nor do run away. Hell, all of my pets were never ever scared of me. They loved me for some reason. For so long I've been doing my best to help animals and adore my pets, and I've sworn to never EVER hurt an animal again. I love them so much. I remember though I would never hit them so hard to make them cry out, because I've been inflicting the way I hit them onto my arms and thighs to see how bad it hurt, and gladly, it didn't really hurt. Stung a bit, at most, but doesn't make what I did anymore okay. Do I deserve my babies anymore? Do I deserve to even live? I feel so ashamed and I don't want to use my OCD as an excuse, nor say that maybe I was traumatised because of it because people have been through worse than me, so I don't want to compare. Any small comment will do, thank you for reading
Today marks my third day on 150 mg of Sertraline, and I've been noticing some symptoms or issues that could be related? I'm wondering if anyone else deals or has dealt with something similar? I've been having really vivid dreams and nightmares, and when I wake up from them, I'm DRENCHED in sweat. Like absolutely soaked. But besides that, I'm extremely anxious. Even the dreams I can't remember leave me feeling off, and then I spiral wondering what they were about. Then there's not being able to cry? I'm not incapable of feeling emotion, but the tears feel trapped, and I just get nauseous if anything. There's been a couple of times where I've been able to cry, but it's like on and off š Oh, and the last thing is constantly feeling hot? Like my face will feel flushed, but the rest of my body is a normal temperature. It's weirdš§āāļø
I bought some books on OCD because I like education and would like to know a little more behind why I feel or think this way. I opened up to my mom about this and she keeps saying Iām obsessed with having OCD, she doesnāt actually believe I have it, and that I forced myself to have those thoughts. She then told me sheās going to ask her mental health provider (sheās a nurse) if you can give yourself a mental illness because she said thereās no way someone could spiral out of control within a few days the way I did.
I have this strong yearning to tell my mother all my thoughts and what I go through on a daily basis but then I get scared of what she'll think of me or that she'll worry even more and feel like it's her fault. I just want someone to understand what im going through but whenever I even begin to explain my thoughts to my therapist, she doesn't really get it and today it feels like no one ever will. like I try to make my therapist understand and bless her heart, she's super compassionate and understands how much pain it causes me but beyond that, it still feels like im not able to fully convey it. I'm sure this is something many people can relate to, but still. I feel alone.
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