- Date posted
- 43w
Every therapist I’ve tried for OCD has felt dehumanizing and judgy, as if I’m the threat not my OCD. I’m still looking for a good therapist. Have you ever had a bad therapy experience?
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Every therapist I’ve tried for OCD has felt dehumanizing and judgy, as if I’m the threat not my OCD. I’m still looking for a good therapist. Have you ever had a bad therapy experience?
My thoughts are racing again. My psychiatrist thought it was a good idea to lower my Clonidine dose, I don’t know why she thought that. I feel like I’m going crazy. I can’t stop panicking or freaking out or anything. I can barely eat again :( it feels like my nightmare from a few months ago when I first got bad is happening all over again. I feel so scared. My brain won’t shut up or stop thinking about what to freak out about next. I feel like I’m on fire, my skin is hot to the touch when I spiral. I can’t stop spiraling
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭
B vitamins, omega-3 fatty acids, minerals, and amino acids that the brain uses to make neurotransmitters are the most common nutrient deficiencies in mental health conditions. Neurotransmitters are chemical messengers that carry chemical signals from one nerve cell to another nerve cell, muscle cell, or gland. Research suggests that one cause of OCD could involve communication problems between the front area of the brain and deeper structures due to inadequate activity of certain neurotransmitters. >> Vitamin B12: "Research from 2014 indicates that vitamin B12 and homocysteine (Hcy) levels are linked to certain mental health conditions. In particular, high levels of Hcy and deficiency in vitamin B12 may impact brain function and cause symptoms such as mania, depression, and personality changes." Foods containing vitamin B12 include: >Meat >Fish >Poultry >Eggs >Dairy products >Fortified breakfast cereals >Fortified nutritional yeasts >>Antioxidants Oxidative stress occurs when there are too many unstable molecules known as free radicals in the body and insufficient antioxidants to neutralize them. The imbalance between free radicals and antioxidants can damage cells and tissue. Oxidative stress in the brain can lead to problems such as neuroinflammation, impaired neurotransmission, and decreased neuroplasticity. Some studies indicate there is an increase in free radical activity and weakness in the antioxidant defense system in OCD. Cysteine is a nonessential amino acid. Amino acids are essential for forming proteins and other metabolic functions. The body needs adequate amounts of vitamin B12, B6, and folate to produce cysteine. As a supplement, it is in the form of NAC. The body transforms NAC into cysteine and then into glutathione, an antioxidant. Cysteine is also in the following foods: >Meat >Fish >Dairy >Grains >Soybean >Egg products >> Omega-3 fatty acids Omega-3 fatty acids are healthy fats that people must get from foods or supplements because the body cannot make them. Three types of omega-3s exist: 1} ALA 2} DHA 3} EPA Omega-3 fatty acids increase memory, learning, cognitive well-being, and blood flow to the brain. Research suggests there is a link between low omega-3 levels and mental health disorders. For example, researchers have found an association between a moderate intake of omega-3 and a decreased chance of depression. Research also indicates that omega-3, particularly EPA, may reduce symptoms of depression and significantly decrease anxiety symptoms. Foods containing omega-3 include: >Fish and seafood, such as salmon, mackerel, herring, tuna, and sardines >Nuts and seeds, including walnuts, flaxseed, and chia seeds plant oils, such as flaxseed oil, canola oil, and soybean oil >Fortified foods such as specific brands of yogurt, eggs, milk, juices, and soy beverages >Cod liver oil, fish oil, krill oil, and algal oil >> Vitamin D Vitamin D is essential for typical brain development and functioning. It also affects immunity, inflammatory responses, and antioxidant processes. Research suggests that vitamin D deficiency may be a factor in the development of mental health conditions such as depression and schizophrenia. A 2022 study explored the relationship between vitamin D levels and OCD. It found that people who were newly diagnosed with OCD had lower vitamin D levels than people without OCD. Researchers suggest that vitamin D deficiency may contribute to OCD development by disrupting neurotransmitter signaling or decreasing neuroprotection. The following foods provide vitamin D: >Most of the U.S. milk supply, including dairy, soy, almond, and oat milk >Fortified breakfast cereals and some brands of margarine, yogurt, orange juice, and other food products >Fatty fish, including salmon, trout, tuna, and mackerel and fish liver oils >Beef liver, cheese, and egg yolks >Mushrooms >> Magnesium > What it is: A mineral found in leafy greens, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. >Why it helps: Magnesium is known for its calming effects on the nervous system and can help reduce anxiety and improve sleep. >How to incorporate it: Eat foods like spinach, almonds, and black beans regularly. >> Probiotics >What it is: Beneficial bacteria found in fermented foods like yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, and kimchi. >Why it helps: Probiotics support gut health, which is closely linked to mental health through the gut-brain axis. >How to incorporate it: Include a variety of fermented foods in your diet to maintain a healthy gut microbiome. >>Foods to Avoid >Processed Foods: Processed foods often contain high levels of sugar, unhealthy fats, and additives that can negatively impact mental health. Opt for whole, unprocessed foods whenever possible. >High-Sugar Foods: Foods and beverages high in sugar can cause spikes and crashes in blood sugar levels, leading to mood swings and increased anxiety. Choose natural sweeteners like honey or fruit instead. >Excessive Caffeine: High caffeine intake can increase anxiety and interfere with sleep. Limit consumption of coffee, tea, and energy drinks, especially in the afternoon and evening. 1} Medical News Today 2} OCD Anxiety Centers
I’ve always struggled with maladaptive daydreaming I’ve stopped but I have harm ocd and my brain would hook onto a true crime story and I’d pretend to be a family member/loved one/victim of a k*ller and would make up elaborate stories abt it. That feels so disgusting I’m so scared this shows in a horrible person doesn’t it? And now my brain is telling me I have found k*llers attractive in the past I don’t think I ever did but what if I did I’m scared
I am currently working with my second therapist. She does lots of somatic, emdr, humanistic therapy. We connected right off the bat and I was so happy to be able to be myself around her, VIRTUALLY anyways. It’s been about 4-5 months working with her, but the more we are meeting the more i still have doubts about her understanding where i am coming from or understand how my brain works, or being able to help me. And i feel myself closing off and just being superficial about everything, or just resisting my thoughts /feelings. Sometimes i feel like i can open up just fine, but it’s starting to feel unauthentic. Sometimes i wish she would be like my first therapist, and help prompt me to talk or find a way to dig deeper into my issues…sometimes i feel like she doesn’t say the right thing, or doesn’t point out things my first therapist would do and work that out….idk…and the whole humanistic energy work freaks me out. Im a practicing Catholic and when we do certain somatic/emdr/humanistic work i start to think: what if i get possessed or what if what i am doing here is wrong, or this feels like its too much for my brain to handle and i might end up freaking out badly, or what if i something bad happens….idk…any thoughts???
“If you feel comfortable, drop one word in the chat that describes how OCD is showing up for you today.” 🧠 Why it helps: This is a low-pressure way to connect, especially in a virtual setting where speaking up might feel hard. You’re welcome to share a word like “loud,” “quiet,” “anxious,” “tired,” or even just “here.” There’s no wrong answer, and just naming your experience can help you feel more grounded.
Hey guys I just wanted to talk about something I was feeling I feel so trapped and terrible I have a bad pornography addiction even back then idk what to do I'm 17 years old but basically I looked at some very obscure things on the Internet ranging from hentai or just even more messed up things when I was younger I think maybe early teens I remember randomly just started remembering things I saw now I do not remember if I acted on them or jerked off to them idk what to do I feel so ashamed trapped I feel like I can't enjoy life anymore for what I've done I been introduced to porn when I was young idk what to do I seem alot back then some memories pop certain ones I don't remember if I had pleasured myself to it it feels like I did I have so much shame if I did but idk what to do
Does anyone know how can you determine ROCD compulsive thoughts vs actual relationship issues necessary to bring up? I’ve been in multiple abusive relationships in the past and I don’t want to go through that again. I’ve been with my partner for 3 years, we’re both mentally ill and we’ve hurt each other a lot over the years. I have some trauma due to their alcoholism, but I want to still be there for her. However my head is constantly telling me that whenever they’re gone I’m worried they’re drinking and cheating, trying to harm themself, planning on harming me or they’re gonna die if im not basically with them 24/7. Even when I want time to myself I force myself to be with them sometimes out of fear. I see them do/say something that might suggest these things (following a new girl, ignoring my texts while they’re out, raising their voice at me etc.) and I’m even more convinced and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know what is a suspicion I SHOULD bring up to them, and what is just a compulsive thought. :( How do I determine that?
Does anyone experience ocd really bad with posts they see online? I just saw a post just now about someone who said they’ve come to terms with dying in their early twenties, and it popped up on my Instagram for you page and i panicked. I’m 20 myself and posts like this genuinely scare me because I always think “It’s a sign or there is a reason it’s popping up on my page.” Has anyone dealt with this before or had an instance like this? Especially with those posts that say if you don’t share or like it something bad will happen, it genuinely freaks me out and I love instagram.
Can anyone who is diagnosed with both OCD and BPD tell me a bit more about their experiences, especially when it comes to friendship and relationships?
Hi everyone, I have been struggling with something for a while and I am starting to wonder if it is related to OCD. For as long as I can remember, I have had this habit of looking at people, whether friends, family, or strangers and even kids, through a lens that feels like it is from the perspective of someone who might find them attractive or sexualize them. I don’t want to feel attracted; it just feels like my brain automatically puts them in that perspective. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember, and I honestly thought it was just part of me being curious or creative. I have always thought this was just a quirk of my brain, but now I am starting to wonder if it is an OCD thing, especially since it feels automatic and I get anxious afterward. Has anyone else experienced this? I did not think this was part of OCD, but now I am not so sure.
I might call. Things haven’t gotten better since my last post. No I’m not going to hurt myself, I just need to speak to someone who won’t talk over me or tell me to take it to god or tell me “that’s just life”. Does anyone know where you can get a hug if you don’t live near anyone that’s a friend? That’s so pathetic but I literally just want a hug.
September 1st, 2024 I was hospitalized for the first time for my OCD. It changed my life. I have had OCD since I was 7 years old, though it took til I was much older to be diagnosed with it. Even after being diagnosed I didn't fully understand it and my life was manageable. On August 28th, 2024 I was watching a YouTube video when they mentioned gore sites (if you are triggered, just remember maybe you'll see a gore site maybe you won't, and sit with the uncertainty!). This triggered me into a downward spiral where I felt like my skin was burning, refused to use my laptop, refused to have a browser on my phone, was terrified I would microwave my cat, could not eat, and had images flashing in my head of anything gruesome my mind could muster. This went on until I was begging to be admitted into the behavioral health center near me (3 days). I then stayed there and was put on a new medication and doped up so much that I was half asleep. I was there for 4 days. I was then put into a partial hospitalization program and this made me worse again because it was providing me with both proper OCD coping mechanism and improper ones. The unfortunate part is I was still in my episode and the proper ones wouldn't help because I wasn't taught how to do them starting at lower distress obsessions. 2 weeks after being released, I was rehospitalized. This time I stayed for 11 days. During this time my medication was upped again, and I was getting better. Tbh the phone detox helped so much, anyways. After this I went back to php and it helped so much. I was ready to hear what they had to say and took it to heart! Around the same time, I connected with NOCD as recommended by my psychiatrist. This is when I was once again diagnosed with OCD and was for the first time diagnosed with PTSD. I was overjoyed with my diagnosis. It explained everything that my OCD did not and from there I began the journey of being treated for both OCD and PTSD through NOCD. I also went through an intensive outpatient program for my PTSD but NOCD is what helped me the most. Fast forward to now... Almost 8 months after I was first admitted and I am a conquerer!!! NOCD and ERP are so so worth it and help. It's hard, I'm not going to lie and say it's easy, but it is so worth it and will permanently help. Compulsions only help temporarily and make you worse. Sit with that discomfort folks and grow stronger! You got this! 💪💪💪💪

I wanted to ask if it is possible to purposely think of an intrusive thought and then shifting your mind instantly to something else? Is it still an intrusive thought if you have been thinking of it 'purposely' for a second? I dont know how else to explain it, but it felt like I was purposely thinking of it. Anyone else had similar experience what happened during intimate moments like masturbation I feel so ashamed cuz the thoughts are so bad they're either about family members children and stuff like that it feels like I think it I just want to know if I'm not alone I feel like a monster because it feels like I thought these things or like I did think these things and I don't know what to do I feel so ashamed and grossed I need help I just want to know if anyone had a similar experience to shed light on because I don't know I feel so isolated
I'm starting testosterone soon and suddenly I'm feeling more anxious about regret and being wrong. I was on reddit (that was my first mistake) and a post popped up on my feed and it was a cis woman saying she did some soul searching and realized she wasn't a trans man after all. she said that she was a tomboy growing up and dealt with trauma that she needed to detach from. it shook me a bit and now I'm scared that I'm making the wrong choice. does anyone have any tips to get rid of this constant doubt?
I have to be alone with my children tomorrow and I'm scared. Harm OCD has me panicking and ruminating. I don't want to hurt my babies they mean everything to me. I keep fighting for them, I got a better job for them and I want to create a better life for them. I'm so afraid that I might hurt them so I need to be away from them but I also don't want to be away from them. The thoughts and images are so much. I'd rather die before I hurt them. Accepting the uncertainty of possibly hurting them is not something I can accept or live with. And it doesn't help having existential ocd because that says none of it matters anyway. I just want to be the old me, I hate this disorder I hate this disease I hate me for having these thoughts. I'm sorry for ranting. I just need to get it out. I hate this worry disorder!
Every 30 minutes I spiral about something different. It’s exhausting. Right now I’m freaking out because I was finally feeling a little calmer, got on TikTok, and saw a post saying that comforting a guy or giving advice to a guy is considered cheating. Or “microcheating.” And so many people in the comments were agreeing. My OCD already gives me so much crap about having guy friends and comforting them during hard moments. Another post said that even giving advice when a guy texts you his problems is wrong, and like, I give advice so often. That one really struck me, because how on earth is that unacceptable? There was also a part about how hanging out with a guy is cheating too. I don’t really agree with that one either, but I guess I can understand that perspective a little more, especially if your partner feels uncomfortable with it. Still, it just added more fuel to the fire. I already doubt myself constantly, and then I read a comment that said, “*If you do any of that, all I’m hearing is ‘I’m a microcheater and proud.’*” I just started crying. I haven’t been able to sit with the uncertainty of whether I’ve been unfaithful or disrespectful to my boyfriend for months. Especially since my guy friend has given me comfort and advice too. Everything I do feels like cheating. ***Everything***. And seeing that just made it all feel so much worse.
These are some of my experiences with some theatrical flare to better depict how it feels. I decided to share this because when I saw this community I suddenly felt less alone in more human. Lovecraftian door Lurker: I don’t know the subtypes so I’ll just be talking about my relationship with OCD. OCD! that lonely woman in the ocean singing your praise's, sure she’ll love you forever! Of course she isn’t a siren planning on dragging you to the depths and tearing you to shreds. OCD! that haunting whisper in the wind calling you to fly! fly! OCD! that Lovecraftian abomination chanting at you from behind a locked door. Banging demanding you bow to it’s will. For me it latches on to my trauma and PTSD circling them like some demented teacup ride. A daily occurance for me is recalling the day I died when I was like 6 i remeber each detail of the day the kids i met the activtes we particapated in, the heat. The height of the slide before i plummeted to my death. This day consumes my life. “Thud thud!” I ask my parents about it often they tell me it never happened i tell them they weren’t there. Each time they lie and say I’ve never told them. My boyfriend whom I’ve been with for three years hears the story offten and often deals with me asking him if he’s seen me ask my parents. “Thud Thud” Each time he says yes and I asked how they responded “like you’ve never told them.” I constantly become afraid that my boyfreind will drown because he can’t swim. “Thud! Thud!” and because he can’t swim that the car will go off the road into some body of water and he will die. ”Thud! Thud!” I feel the water filling my lungs turning them into fire, the fear of reaching out my hands with no aid. “THUD! THUD! And he will die alone too and there’s nothing you can do to stop it! THUD THUD!” I scream that same fire fueling my rage my tears running down my face like gasoline igniting the thought spiral further burning deeper into my self hatred. I scream again banging my hands on my head. Wish and hoping it will shut up the thoughts.“why? Why?! WHY!” Sobbing until I’m nothing but a puddle. . . Ya know a few months ago I was depressed the thoughts became too much, so I wanted to get high. I thought it would make them stop “Thud! Thud!” So I took a gummy it was unpackage, from a friend of a friend so now the word dog, in reference to a person is a permit part of my vocabulary. And I have memories from being in a comma because it turned out to be DMT and my 6 hour trip end up feeling like 6 months of HELL. The ocd thoughts that i usually see, in a flash became so real that i just cried for hour terrified i was stabbing my eyes out dead and this was my purgatory for leaving the church. ”Thud! THUD!” I stopped using my favorite water bottle after that. Before the incident The bottle up against the wall with the straw to the side of the wall because the thought that would repeat in my head would be that because of my clumsiness I would trip and fall onto the straw and it would stab my eye out and kill me. I had this thought often I kept look up what to do if you accidently get something stab/stuck in your eye. “Thud! Thud!”
Having a bit of an interesting time lately, feeling like I am on a roller coaster because every day has been a bit different. Yesterday was a pretty good day, my anxiety was low and intrusive thoughts were easier to work past. What I noticed was although anxiety was low, I still felt overwhelmed by thoughts sporadically throughout the evening. This morning I had some intense feelings after waking up, but find myself almost in the same place again. Any tips or tricks that have worked for you on managing through thoughts with low anxiety?
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