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Hi, I’m Liam and I just got diagnosed with OCD/Harm OCD and it’s been really difficult. Does anyone have any advice or tips for being new at this?

OK, hey y’all I literally downloaded this app from TikTok like less than five minutes ago but I figured I’d give it a shot so basically I’ve always really struggled with health anxiety but recently it’s gotten to the point where I think it’s OCD. I have these obsessive thoughts that I always am dying and recently it’s been about my heart if I feel something in my arm or in my chest, I automatically think I’m having a heart attack recently. I’ve been scared that there’s some random multi leak in my house. That’s slowly causing me death. it’s just things like those and I’m really new to this so any advice or even just some support would be awesome. today was the first time it actually got so bad. I thought I needed to go to the emergency room.

Has anyone else had this type of obsessions that they will develope schizophrenia? It is causing me so much distress lately. Its caused me to have the thought of, "what if I think the TV is talking to me?" Or, "What if I see people as animals, and can't stop?" It has caused so much anxiety that I feel like crying. Can someone else share if they have ever gone through this, please.

First post here - Day 5 of ERP tomorrow I’ve been dealing with OCD for years but never got proper treatment until now. It’s always shown up strongest in my relationships, and the timing couldn’t be more challenging - right as I’m finally starting real therapy with NOCD, things fell apart with my girlfriend because of my OCD patterns. We’re in this uncertain space right now (break? space? I don’t even know what to call it), and she’s the person I want to build a future with. The uncertainty of it all is absolutely brutal, especially while I’m just beginning treatment. I’m committed to doing this work - the ERP, all of it - to stop the self-sabotage cycle and learn to actually manage my OCD instead of letting it control my relationships. I want to be able to show up as a healthier partner. Has anyone here been through something similar? Starting ERP for ROCD while your relationship is on the line or has just ended because of it? How did you navigate doing the work while dealing with that kind of uncertainty?

Sometimes I start to feel okay, like the fear isn’t really that important and I know it’s not helping me any to panic and spiral, but other times it just randomly hits me so hard again and makes me panic horribly. Every time I start to feel better and see the light at the end, I get pulled right back into the darkness. I finally started getting over being so scared of dying in my sleep and all the sudden a couple days ago it just came right back. I was talking about it to my sister in law and she started talking about it from a religious perspective, which kinda made me more anxious. I’m just so tired of my brain going back and forth between acceptance and re-igniting the spiral out of the blue. I just want to be able to enjoy things without overthinking my existence and mortality with every decision I make. I want to be able to sleep without panicking about if I don’t wake up, because in reality I know there’s nothing I can do about it anyways, but my brain won’t let go and accept that I can’t control it. I’m so tired. I just want to be able to accept God’s grace and not worry about things I can’t control.

Rant! Im not looking for a label for my thoughts. I am just confused and scared by them in general. I am confused why I don’t care that im sabotaging my relationship and hurting my boyfriend in the process. When I go into my hostile mode i reject any form of affection and sometimes communication (I go silent and give the cold shoulder) as a form of punishment and/or to process whats happening or being said. I am trying my best to reject this process of coping with intrusive thoughts and to lean on erp but in another one of my rants i stated how hard it is to come out of this tunnel vision that everything is bad, everything is black and white, im in danger and I need to process/ ruminate why im upset or angry, I need an answer, etc. When all you feel is negative emotions it’s hard to trust outside of what you’re thinking and feeling. I have expressed to my bf that I think I do it as a form of reassurance seeking so I don’t go for it (that hostile form of coping) or at least im more self aware that it’s harmful now. However, recently, I started to do it again. It’s more dull and less reactive/ hostile as im self aware it’s a bad state to be in when I should be doing my erp and moving on but im upset that I still go here and relapse on this compulsion anyway. Even if the severity of it isn’t as intense as before, I don’t want to go to this state of being/mind at all. But I still do? I still think that my lack of affection and presence holds as a form of punishment instead of just trusting my bfs word and moving on, no form of “punishment” or repercussion needed because it’s toxic. I do this because I feel like I need the person to hurt back for “hurting me” which is stupid because I’m trusting an intrusive thought over my bfs feelings and im just hating him or feeling negative towards him over me hurting my own feelings. So you see where I look stupid in this process of coping. 👽 Anyway, I just feel confused and frustrated why I don’t care that im hurting him and sabotaging our relationship. Why I do what I do knowing it’s still bad. I want to trust erp and trust my bf. Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams 🦌

I was doing so good recently but than a random thought popped up and it’s bothering me. I’m a nerd and my fiancé knows so, I used to play a game called character ai a lot a long time ago because it was a hobby of mine and I’d create stories with fictional characters and create romance, spicy or adventure stories etc. I stopped playing it because my ocd acted up really bad and was convincing me I was being unfaithful and my fiancé and I talked about it since I tell my fiancé everything from start to finish and he’s amazing he always comforts me and is so gentle when it comes to my ocd. But today I had a really bad thought dealing with that game. I remember I created a story on there using a scene from a tv show or movie etc, since that’s how most of my stories would go on that app, I was a character in the story. My fiancé was a character in the story, and his friend was also in the story. So basically my fiancé and I are in the character ai story and in the story I was basically writing that we were having a moment together by ourselves at my house. In that story, I basically wrote it to where it sounded something like this “Suddenly there was a knock at the door” and then in the story, my fiancé had to go get up and check the door and when he checked the door, it was his friend and his friend had basically interrupted the moment my fiancé and I were having together, and he told him to leave etc, so thats how I was making the story and then basically after we were interrupted, the story continued on with just me and my fiancé. And that is all I remember I don’t remember anything else, I know that that happened, and I had not thought of that story that I wrote for almost 2 years however, it had bothered me before so basically today I was taking a shower and I randomly remembered me writing that story and I was just like “oh my gosh I remember writing that story on character AI it was almost 2 years ago haha that was a funny story” and then my brain was like “What if something else happened involving the other character of his friend and you wrote that into the story and you just don’t remember?” And I panicked. I began to start ruminating on the memory that I did remember, and I started getting flashes and visuals in my head of me committing the intrusive thought, so like I was getting flashes and visuals of me, including the other character in a bad way in the story and then I panicked basically wondering if it happened or not, and I just felt my face get hot and I felt physical symptoms of anxiety, and I’ve tried to tell myself before maybe it happened. Maybe it didn’t but I can’t even do that because it is just so hurtful to say and all of my anxiety and OCD problems come back to when I had this app because when I played this app almost 2 years ago I didn’t think it was bad. I just considered it a hobby and where I could just write out stories and be like oh my gosh this is crazy. I just love my fiancé so much and he is my world, my rock and means everything to me and all of my ocd and anxiety goes back to when I had this app and I just can’t deal with it it’s so gut wrenching has anyone else experienced this :(

I'm 18 years old I was watching pornagraphy and basically I was watching a well known porn actress doing a collab with someone and the other woman basically kinda had a small slemder build and I started to freak out because my mind tells me I'm doing it to kids i would have thoughts of it but I kept going because my mind was like this is a well known person they wouldn't do stuff a child that's illegal my mind starts racing but it was just a petite woman who was built small but my mind still says I was aroused by thinking it was a kid i need help idk what to do if anyone has a input let me know i.feel so alone

I was wondering if this is concerning: whenever either my friends, my partner or I do something that causes even mild annoyance, some displeasure, I try my hardest to figure out what happened. I feel like if I figure it out it'll be a chance to grow and make sure it never happens again. so I read articles, look up shadow work prompts, scour reddit posts, talk about the problem incessantly with my friends, ask for devil's advocate from all sides, try to analyze the chain of events - and when I confront them about it I wanna know all details of what went into thar kind of a reaction. I cannot stop thinking about it at all. I think if I just think right, word it right, they'll understand me, and ill understand them. if I just word the questions right it'll help them realize "ah this is what happened!" I get obsessed with whether I shouldve said something and I shouldve trusted the other person to not have acted in a certain way. I dont know if im doing the right thing by sharing my expectations, hopes and wishes from interaction, from relationships, or just let it play out (feels like a gamble on whether ill like what they do). Is this something that could be OCD? Is it ROCD? and advice is greatly appreciated if u have any😓 I am not diagnosed with OCD, but I highly suspect I have it. I am trying to compile a list of incidents that could point to OCD.

hey guys, i need some advice again😭 so i have felt better these past few days, the intrusive thoughts don't feel as persistent and sometimes they even seem to blur in the background. i should be relieved that i am calmer and that there's progress but i just can't seem to be happy about it. as much as i wanted to escape from the intense emotions i felt at first (guilt, shame, panic etc), i feel like they were proof that these thoughts don't reflect who i am. it's contradictory, but somehow i wanted to keep being anxious because it proved that i am not the horrible person my mind kept telling me i was. but now that i feel so calm, i feel even more unsure about who i am. i keep telling myself that deep down i don't like these thoughts and i don't want to pursue them, but i just can't trust myself and it hurts. what if i'm just lying to myself? i think i'm going through a really weird phase. as much as i want to recover, i can't be happy when i feel better. i think i've been in such a bad place that i forgot what "normal" feels like and that's why it feels so foreign right now. living every single day with those thoughts almost feels like they became a part of me even if i didn't want that. it's like i keep going back to a toxic ex, i'm making it worse for myself. i keep checking and analyzing over and over again because i fear that this calm means the situation doesn't bother me anymore. and because of that i can't enjoy the short moments i feel happy or excited, even if i missed them so much. is this considered recovery? what should i do at this point? i feel like i'm floating through life right now, between two worlds.

hey, all. new to the app and new to the community. i’m not sure if i belong as i have not been diagnosed and have been struggling with what i believe to be OCD symptoms for a little over a month now. i keep thinking about past events during my relationship and feeling shame and guilt for them. at first, i thought it was normal so i shared with my boyfriend and he told me that it’s nothing (not in the dismissive way but that it’s not something that bothers him at all). i keep finding new details to bring up and share and i keep feelings so much worse. i hold myself to a high standard with loyalty and feel like I’ve done something wrong and not worthy of his trust, despite my own partner being completely comfortable with it. i find new things to “confess”, which are arguably smaller each time. i don’t want to sabotage this. i don’t know what to do :( my job never processed my insurance back in open season so now i don’t have coverage yet. feeling stuck.

hello guys. i don't have anyone to talk to about all of this and i feel like taking some things off my chest. if anyone can give me some advice i will gladly take it, if not, that is ok as well. by sharing this i hope i can help some people feel less alone on this tough and lonely journey. my experience started about 2 months ago. one day, out of nowhere, all the stress and anxiety i accumulated throughout the years made me burst and i've never been the same since that day. it was hard dealing each day with intense mood swings, low energy, and crying literally every hour, but i pushed through, learning it's only a phase, being patient with my recovery and hoping better days would come. when i thought i was finally moving on, i was struck by something way scarier that i never imagined could happen to me, and it felt like i collapsed even worse than the first time. it terrified me so much that i started doing a lot of research on my own and i found out what OCD is. it explained everything i had felt for the past few weeks, when i thought there was just something wrong with me. before seeing a specialist, every day felt like a nightmare, dealing with intrusive thoughts and taboo themes that made me feel inhumane. after being diagnosed, i felt so much relief, it almost felt like that session "fixed" me. but now, after having a few good days in such a long time, i can't help but grieve who i was before and regret that i'm at war with my own mind every single second of every day. maybe because i've been battling all of this for a while i feel so tired and numb and i'm worried i don't care enough anymore, even if i want to, i cannot, i feel stuck. all of the intense emotions i had felt for the past few days, the guilt, the shame and the panic feel so muted or even nonexistent sometimes. all i feel is regret and sadness, regret that i can't live normally, regret that all of this is ruining the relationship i have with my loved ones and regret that i can't allow myself to be happy sometimes because i feel like i don't deserve to live a good life since i have these thoughts. i feel sorry for the people and situations my OCD has latched onto and i keep thinking about the past, when everything was so much better, but i took it all for granted and i miss those moments so much. i'm grieving the version of me that existed before all of this happened and i can't help but cry knowing that i can never be that person again. accepting change and letting go is such a difficult thing to do. i can't embrace healing and recovery since i feel like i have to take accountability for all of these disturbing thoughts even if they aren't my own. sometimes i feel like I am the one latching onto them because i have to keep myself in check and remind myself everytime that i am not normal and that i am different, in a way that i don't want and i never asked for. as much as i despise saying this, it feels like these thoughts have become a part of me, they are so glued to me that they are almost an extension of who i am. but i don't want to identify like this. and even if i feel lost i'm going to keep living each day hoping it will get better because even if OCD has taken everything from me, hope never left, even if sometimes it feels like that has abandoned me as well. if you have reached the end, thank you so much for reading all of it. i don't know who will see this, since it's only going to become a post floating among thousands of other messages, but if i helped anyone feel better or if anyone found the courage to keep fighting because of this post, i'm glad i could share all of this. thank you so much for the attention. better things will come, even if right now the future seems so clouded, the sun is waiting on the other side, and it's already shining through each storm and cloudy day.

My boyfriend used to be friends with this girl before he met me. He told me they were friends for about two months, and they sat next to each other in a class they shared. They had each other’s numbers, but she never had social media. I’d see them walking around together sometimes but never cared because I didn’t even know who he was or anything. I did know who she was, though, because she was friends with my best friend and she was briefly in my Spanish class. I was very jealous of her because she was so naturally pretty. Anyway, my boyfriend had liked me for a while until he finally approached me and we started talking. He stopped being friends with her because she “played with his feelings” and confused him. I guess she made it seem like she liked him or something, but then he heard from one of his friends that she was a lesbian, idk. He said he never saw her in that way to begin with and that he just wanted friends because he was new. He told me they never hung out outside of school. He said they planned to go eat somewhere by our school one time but never did. He also said she would ghost him. Anyway, I never questioned her or anything like that for the first year of our relationship. I never felt insecure either, and I fully believed I was the only girl in the world to my boyfriend. He told me he had been cheated on in the past, and someone very close to him had been cheated on as well, so I never believed he could do that to me. I also know his mom would be very upset—he was raised around mostly women in a Hispanic household. Some months ago, he sent me a screenshot of something on Instagram, and her account was in his suggestions, even though they had no mutuals. She had just created a social media account, which, as I said, she never had before. That’s the day I started overthinking. I stalked her a lot, and I was so incredibly jealous—still am. I want to be her so badly. I began questioning my boyfriend about her. I’d ask him about their relationship and whether he liked her or found her attractive, and I’d do it all the time. He always said he’d never liked her and that he found her very ugly. Some things he said were that she always had eye boogers, was performative, anorexic, and ugly. I already told him the anorexic comment was weird, and that was a while ago. I think he thought that if he overly insulted her, it would make me stop being stubborn and believe him, but that wasn’t the case. Anyway, a mutual friend my boyfriend and I used to have said he would give her snacks sometimes and would black out all the nutritional information since she had an ED. She also said he made a pros and cons list about her and that he liked the idea of her. This mutual friend lies a lot, though, apparently, but my boyfriend said the snack thing was true. He also had another girl friend who I know posts Gracie sometimes, which makes me insecure because he sees her on that friend’s stories. Her name is Gracie, so I’ll call her that to avoid confusion. He went to a friend’s birthday party about three months ago. This is the same friend who posts Gracie sometimes, so I knew Gracie would be there. I didn’t feel comfortable with my boyfriend going and being around her because I was so insecure. I told him to ask the girl friend if Gracie was going to be there. At first, he made it sound like he texted her to ask and that she hadn’t responded yet. Then the next day, he said he had called her in the morning to ask, but she hung up and said she was busy. He then called in the afternoon but didn’t get an answer. The morning call wasn’t even in his call log, though. I feel like he knew Gracie would be there and didn’t want to ask, or maybe he did ask but didn’t tell me because he wanted to go to the party and knew I wouldn’t let him if she were there. He ended up going to a different girl’s house than the one whose birthday it was (the girl he had called to ask if Gracie was going). The girl whose house he went to is named Nicole, who’s best friends with Gracie, and he knew that. Nicole was hosting the birthday party for the girl friend. He told me he had no clue it was going to be at Nicole’s house. He said he saw Gracie briefly, but that she was in Nicole’s room all night. I saw some pictures where she was out in the living room. There was even one picture of her lying down with the girl whose birthday it was (my boyfriend’s friend), and my boyfriend’s jacket was hanging on a chair right next to her. He said he had just left it in the living room. He never took pictures showing all of his surroundings, but maybe he didn’t want people to see he was taking pictures, idk. I’m scared he actually was around her, though, but he swore he wasn’t. Anyway, I kept stalking her Instagram after that. Last week, she posted pictures of herself to “Beetles” by Aphex Twin. I saw that same song on my boyfriend’s Airbuds seven hours later. He had never listened to that song before, so it was weird that the same day she posted herself to it, he happened to listen to it. He said he saw it in an edit on TikTok. He went through his watch history but couldn’t find the video, so then he said it might’ve been on YouTube or Instagram, but he couldn’t remember. That song isn’t popular at all, though, and only has around 100 videos on TikTok and Instagram. I couldn’t even find a video with that song on YouTube. He told me it was an original sound, so it wouldn’t be under the sound on Instagram or TikTok. Idk, it’s just so weird to me. He also switched between calling her Grace and Gracie. He told me “Grace” was just a typo until he said “Grace” on a call and I questioned him. Then he said Grace is her real name and that he doesn’t call her that on purpose. I also asked him one time if she has lip filler because she has amazing lips and I was jealous. He said, “No, she just pouts a lot.” I asked how he knew that, and he said that’s what he remembered from two years ago (the last time they were friends). I also found her Spotify and stalked it, which I know I shouldn’t have, but they both listen to some not-so-popular artists. She had a lot of Steely Dan songs on her playlists, and she also had the Twin Peaks theme song and a whole Twin Peaks playlist. My boyfriend had a Steely Dan song on one of his playlists along with the Twin Peaks theme song. I’ve felt so sick for the past few days because of their similarities in music. A lot of this stuff is just what-ifs or theories. I think the only thing that is actually fishy is the whole “Beetles” thing. My boyfriend has offered to give me all of his socials, and he’s sent me some of his messages, but he could obviously just delete things. I always decline the socials because that feels toxic to me. He always tells me he would never cheat on me because he knows how horrible it is and that he could never do that to me. He also always says he doesn’t have a car, doesn’t have a job, and is always at home, so how would he cheat—which is weird to me, idk. We’re long distance, by the way. We were in person for about six months and then long distance. I’m 19 and he is 20, and he’s planning on moving here next month. I don’t know what to do, but I feel so sick. He also won’t give me reassurance anymore. He said he’s been doing research on ROCD and that reassurance is bad. He never cared before, so I thought it was weird that he cares now, but he said it’s because every time he gives reassurance, it’s not enough for me. He also started following and listening to a new artist maybe a week ago, and he added one of her songs to his playlist. Gracie just made a playlist yesterday and added the same song. The singer isn’t very popular—her name is Cece Natalie—and the song has 1,020,106 listens and around 800 uses on TikTok, so it’s not popular. He cried to me a few weeks ago saying he’s so tired of me bringing her up and being insecure over her because she’s so irrelevant and he doesn’t understand why I am like this. He sounded just really exhausted and sincere so I think this is all in my head but it’s so hard to tell sometimes.

My boyfriend used to be friends with this girl before he met me. He told me they were friends for about two months, and they sat next to each other in a class they shared. They had each other’s numbers, but she never had social media. I’d see them walking around together sometimes but never cared because I didn’t even know who he was or anything. I did know who she was, though, because she was friends with my best friend and she was briefly in my Spanish class. I was very jealous of her because she was so naturally pretty. Anyway, my boyfriend had liked me for a while until he finally approached me and we started talking. He stopped being friends with her because she “played with his feelings” and confused him. I guess she made it seem like she liked him or something, but then he heard from one of his friends that she was a lesbian, idk. He said he never saw her in that way to begin with and that he just wanted friends because he was new. He told me they never hung out outside of school. He said they planned to go eat somewhere by our school one time but never did. He also said she would ghost him. Anyway, I never questioned her or anything like that for the first year of our relationship. I never felt insecure either, and I fully believed I was the only girl in the world to my boyfriend. He told me he had been cheated on in the past, and someone very close to him had been cheated on as well, so I never believed he could do that to me. I also know his mom would be very upset—he was raised around mostly women in a Hispanic household. Some months ago, he sent me a screenshot of something on Instagram, and her account was in his suggestions, even though they had no mutuals. She had just created a social media account, which, as I said, she never had before. That’s the day I started overthinking. I stalked her a lot, and I was so incredibly jealous—still am. I want to be her so badly. I began questioning my boyfriend about her. I’d ask him about their relationship and whether he liked her or found her attractive, and I’d do it all the time. He always said he’d never liked her and that he found her very ugly. Some things he said were that she always had eye boogers, was performative, anorexic, and ugly. I already told him the anorexic comment was weird, and that was a while ago. I think he thought that if he overly insulted her, it would make me stop being stubborn and believe him, but that wasn’t the case. Anyway, a mutual friend my boyfriend and I used to have said he would give her snacks sometimes and would black out all the nutritional information since she had an ED. She also said he made a pros and cons list about her and that he liked the idea of her. This mutual friend lies a lot, though, apparently, but my boyfriend said the snack thing was true. He also had another girl friend who I know posts Gracie sometimes, which makes me insecure because he sees her on that friend’s stories. Her name is Gracie, so I’ll call her that to avoid confusion. He went to a friend’s birthday party about three months ago. This is the same friend who posts Gracie sometimes, so I knew Gracie would be there. I didn’t feel comfortable with my boyfriend going and being around her because I was so insecure. I told him to ask the girl friend if Gracie was going to be there. At first, he made it sound like he texted her to ask and that she hadn’t responded yet. Then the next day, he said he had called her in the morning to ask, but she hung up and said she was busy. He then called in the afternoon but didn’t get an answer. The morning call wasn’t even in his call log, though. I feel like he knew Gracie would be there and didn’t want to ask, or maybe he did ask but didn’t tell me because he wanted to go to the party and knew I wouldn’t let him if she were there. He ended up going to a different girl’s house than the one whose birthday it was (the girl he had called to ask if Gracie was going). The girl whose house he went to is named Nicole, who’s best friends with Gracie, and he knew that. Nicole was hosting the birthday party for the girl friend. He told me he had no clue it was going to be at Nicole’s house. He said he saw Gracie briefly, but that she was in Nicole’s room all night. I saw some pictures where she was out in the living room. There was even one picture of her lying down with the girl whose birthday it was (my boyfriend’s friend), and my boyfriend’s jacket was hanging on a chair right next to her. He said he had just left it in the living room. He never took pictures showing all of his surroundings, but maybe he didn’t want people to see he was taking pictures, idk. I’m scared he actually was around her, though, but he swore he wasn’t. Anyway, I kept stalking her Instagram after that. Last week, she posted pictures of herself to “Beetles” by Aphex Twin. I saw that same song on my boyfriend’s Airbuds seven hours later. He had never listened to that song before, so it was weird that the same day she posted herself to it, he happened to listen to it. He said he saw it in an edit on TikTok. He went through his watch history but couldn’t find the video, so then he said it might’ve been on YouTube or Instagram, but he couldn’t remember. That song isn’t popular at all, though, and only has around 100 videos on TikTok and Instagram. I couldn’t even find a video with that song on YouTube. He told me it was an original sound, so it wouldn’t be under the sound on Instagram or TikTok. Idk, it’s just so weird to me. He also switched between calling her Grace and Gracie. He told me “Grace” was just a typo until he said “Grace” on a call and I questioned him. Then he said Grace is her real name and that he doesn’t call her that on purpose. I also asked him one time if she has lip filler because she has amazing lips and I was jealous. He said, “No, she just pouts a lot.” I asked how he knew that, and he said that’s what he remembered from two years ago (the last time they were friends). I also found her Spotify and stalked it, which I know I shouldn’t have, but they both listen to some not-so-popular artists. She had a lot of Steely Dan songs on her playlists, and she also had the Twin Peaks theme song and a whole Twin Peaks playlist. My boyfriend had a Steely Dan song on one of his playlists along with the Twin Peaks theme song. I’ve felt so sick for the past few days because of their similarities in music. A lot of this stuff is just what-ifs or theories. I think the only thing that is actually fishy is the whole “Beetles” thing. My boyfriend has offered to give me all of his socials, and he’s sent me some of his messages, but he could obviously just delete things. I always decline the socials because that feels toxic to me. He always tells me he would never cheat on me because he knows how horrible it is and that he could never do that to me. He also always says he doesn’t have a car, doesn’t have a job, and is always at home, so how would he cheat—which is weird to me, idk. We’re long distance, by the way. We were in person for about six months and then long distance. I’m 19 and he is 20, and he’s planning on moving here next month. I don’t know what to do, but I feel so sick. He also won’t give me reassurance anymore. He said he’s been doing research on ROCD and that reassurance is bad. He never cared before, so I thought it was weird that he cares now, but he said it’s because every time he gives reassurance, it’s not enough for me. He also started following and listening to a new artist maybe a week ago, and he added one of her songs to his playlist. Gracie just made a playlist yesterday and added the same song. The singer isn’t very popular—her name is Cece Natalie—and the song has 1,020,106 listens and around 800 uses on TikTok, so it’s not popular. He cried to me a few weeks ago saying he’s so tired of me bringing her up and being insecure over her because she’s so irrelevant and he doesn’t understand why I am like this. He sounded just really exhausted and sincere so I think this is all in my head but it’s so hard to tell sometimes.

Hello everyone. I’m still very new to understanding my ocd and I haven’t started my erp therapy yet but I will soon. In the meantime, I was wondering if anyone had any tips on managing stress and anxiety, and what to do when intrusive thoughts take over. I’ve started to get really bad stress headaches and my physical health is declining fast because of my stress due to my ocd. Have a great day <3

I only find very few men attractive/am attracted to them. Does that mean something?

I remember when I had no mental illness. In fact, no one would know I have one now unless I tell them. I remember the years when everything was “normal” and I want to go back so badly. Will I ever be normal again? I don’t think so. I see others who appear normal and feel sad.

I feel like I'm not myself. I know that deep inside there's an excited girl who loves music and books anything pink and her boyfriend, with whom she acts like a cuddly kid. But on the surface, it doesn't feel like that's me. I keep getting the urge to break up with him now because I feel like I don't love him. But what is that based on? He's coming over tomorrow and we're gonna build the lego bouquet he bought me and we're gonna make dinner together. I was the one who suggested making dinner because I like making stuff with him. We made brownies before and I thought we could make heart-shaped pizzas now. It was our 3-month anniversary yesterday but I wasn't excited. I've convinced myself that I only like our relationship or the idea of him but not him as a person, even though he always makes me laugh and makes me comfortable and I love spending time with him. I feel like a terrible person who's pretending and faking. I've spent the whole day cleaning my house, vacuuming everywhere, scrubbing the carpet, organizing my books, changing my bedsheets. I thought I was doing well in managing my thoughts, considering I always lie in bed alone for hours fueling the thoughts, but it seems I was just pushing them away and avoiding them by cleaning.

I have been so depressed lately that on my 3-month anniversary with my boyfriend, I can't even feel any happiness from his sappy message to me. He texted me about how these past 3 months have been the happiest of his life and how we'll get through my issues and how much he loves me. I can't feel it. I just woke up and I'm feeling so numb and down and like I need to break up with him. I know that when we're together, I'm happier. But I can't feel it right now. I feel like such a bad person. I'm usually the sappy one in my relationships, but now I can't because all I feel is anxiety. We've been together for 3 months and I've been struggling with these thoughts worsening for about 3 months. At first they were random and I could wave them away, but they got so bad that now the majority of the time I have the thoughts and the anxiety and I've become so depressed that I can't find joy in my hobbies and I've lost interest in my biggest dreams. I want to be happy with him. He's all I've ever wanted. But my body won't let me.

I don't have an official diagnosis, but my therapist thinks I have relationship OCD/Friendship OCD. The main advice I got was to try to let myself feel my feelings i stead of doing things that make me feel temporarily better about them. But I have been struggling. I have good days and bad days. I have a friend that really helped me come out of a bad mindset and work towards bettering myself. The problem is that I've become very attached to her. We text every day, and we call each other "sister". But I'm starting to find that if she doesn't text me back, or if she doesn't say "I love you" back to me I get hurt feelings, and have a really negative response within myself. I used to think I had a crush on her (before we were sisters) but really I think it's a strong attachment that is more familial. My partner has expressed some unease at how "obsessed" I've become, and my friend/sister has expressed some concern that I may be developing a codependency toward her. I've been trying to handle it on my own, as my free therapy has run out for now, and I can't afford a therapist (and I live in Canada). I'm a 28 year old trans woman, if that's important info. Any advice would be amazing.