Welcome to
the NOCD Community

i don't even know if i have ocd but it would make sense. the semester before i dropped out of college i was completely unable to function — i was addicted to weed and getting high on cough syrup and i could barely eat. i ruined my friendships and broke up with both my partners because i was so so scared that people would find out how awful i was. i didnt feel like i could trust the people around me to be an accurate judge of morality because i felt like they were too black and white. looking back, I was the one that was too black and white but ive never trusted myself to be a good person instinctively anyways so i was just caught in a web of "i dont know if im doing the right thing i dont think im doing the right thing i think everyone is being too harsh but maybe they're not maybe im just a horrible person" and nobody SAID that but i believed they thought it (or would think it). i was trying so so hard to be a good person and to do the right things all the time and i was NEVER succeeding so i would just get high and try to shut off my mind and pretend it wasnt happening. when my cousin died it was awful and i was shocked and grieving but every time i cried i was so, so relieved because since i was 7 I've worried that if a family member died i wouldn't be affected. i felt so guilty when matthew died because even though i cried and i knew i was sad i felt like i shouldve been worse. i didnt like when people talked about it because i knew i shouldve felt more but i didnt know what to say and pretending i did and trying to act like a normal person grieving for their cousin was exhausting and stressful and i hated it. when i spiral about something i did or something i said i fantasize about being stabbed in the stomach or gouging my eye out and i used to cut myself for some sense of relief but now i mostly hit myself or use the end of my cigarettes or dig my nails into my skin because it's easier to hide. nobody notices bruises or tiny circular burns on your arms so i dont have to wear long sleeves and long pants. My entire life ive known there's something wrong with me and it's only recently that I've tried to talk to my family about it and every time i do it just goes horribly. it's not like theyre not supportive but they dont believe me and they just tell me it's normal and they get frustrated when i try to explain that it ISNT because there IS something wrong and i didnt know what but im pretty sure it's OCD because that makes sense with how my thoughts spiral and the guilt and the patterns and the rules for how i interact with people so that they might forgive me for everything else. and sometimes i just want to be hurt or sick or something undeniably horribly wrong so people will feel bad for me and i used to SH and act suicidal because if someone found out then maybe they would know how bad i feel and maybe then they would forgive me for it. and maybe this isnt ocd or maybe it is but im just so so tired of being told im fine when im NOT because it's not like i can just say all of this to them. it's not like i can say "the first time i tried to kill myself was when i was seven because i got yelled at so i tried to drink nail polish remover." i cant say "i dont know if i care if i die at 60 because of smoking" and i cant say "ive always been the fuckup of the family and the only thing that makes me feel even a little bit better about that is if i stop trying not to be." i cant SAY that

Hey guys. I have been doing something (not cheating or anything like that) but something not good to my boyfriends cat. I have hurt it when I’ve gotten mad or yelled and picked it up aggressively and I told him about it and how I feel really bad and I’m definitely not going to be doing that anymore and I have no idea why it makes me so mad sometimes. But my boyfriend graciously forgave me and said as long as I don’t do that anymore and he still loves me and always wants to be with me, but I just feel like i don’t deserve that. I feel like an absolute terrible person for those things and I truly don’t believe I deserve to even be loved anymore. I’m really working on trying to love his cat now, but it’s been going on for a while and I feel like i’ve done too much to come back from. I feel like a terrible person and like i’m scared i have no heart but i truly feel guilty and will never do any harm to his cat again.

Hi there. To start with, i just finished my ocd-therapy. I found it useful in many areas, but i still struggle a lot with the past life ocd. If anyone would share tips in this how to handle these kind of situations better, i would love it. So, this weekend randomly, i got an instrutive thought that have i been somehow flirtatious or talkative to other men during our (me and my fiance) start of dating. Even i tried to avoid it, i went to check my old instagram convos, and found still some men commenting on my instagram stories, and i had liked the comments, or even answered with some emojis. Nothing disqussion or whatsoever. I felt immediate GUILT and ashamed as i always needed to be the picture perfect spouse(ocd about it). I felt that i am a cheater, and i had to confessing all of these to my man. Also sometimes me and my friend watched our ex’s ig stories (so petty). I felt immediately so embarrased,petty and disgusted to myself didnt know what to do. Reason behind probably was the most pettiest, because i felt so good about my relationship blooming and all these exes who did me wrong - i somehow wanted them to look how good i was doing. Which is toxic and embarrasing to admit. I love my man over anything, and started feeling that I havent been loyal or whatsoever. Also seeked for reassurance from him and my friends so basicaly failed in every step of avoiding these compulsions. In my history i have been in very toxic relationship before him, and had a lot of trust issues. I have been humiliated and cheated on, physically ab@sed in my past. I tried to reassure myself that i just found it difficult to commit and trust a man again after short 2-3 weeks of dating so i think my past took a control of insecurities. But still never done anything worse than that, and obviously i dont have anyone of my past in my socials anymore because it triggers me. I deleted everyone years go. It’s now almost 3years since we have met and i talked with my partner about all this. He is supportive with me and knows i have bad confessing ocd and cheating ocd which now this topic got triggered. His reaction was calm and supportive. I dont know what to do now. Feel like the worst partner, and also failed to stick up to not checking, asking for reassurance. Basicaly feel like a massive failure🙄 Should i delete my old convos with my friend that i wouldnt check those things? Now again Im trying my hardest to not go check more of those convos. I am also pregnant, passed my first trimester so my hormones are wilding. Feeling super upset about this and yeah, just wanted to talk about it. Sorry for long and mixed up text.

Hi everyone. I hope some of you can sympathise with me and my story, and why not share yours also..:) I wanted to share my story here because im at a very BAD point in my life and i basically feel burnt out and hopeless. My story with **OCD** begins in 2020-21 when i first googled if its normal to have constant thoughts you dont like or go against your character, and thats how i found out about ocd. Life was hell for some months as i constantly battled with some of the worst types of OCD that go against my character and who i am. *Also my dog was killed by a psycho and that impacted me a lot* -its a long story involving an ongoing *trial* My life was hell Long story short i visited a **psychiatrist** and got my diagnosis, she persisted its curable and others had overcome it and i did not go to therapy nor use ERP or other methods. I basically sat on a chair, cried for hours and explained what is going on inside my head and boom i just got meds and a new lifestyle because I HAD to go to another city to attend UNI. I got prescribed **escitalopram** and went back to Pharmacy school (yes the year i got diagnosed was my first year in Pharmacy School in my Country \[Greece\], i failed many classes and retook them next year, some i passed, some i failed again and with the pressure of time, many learning gaps and new classes i am now finishing year 4 out of 5, only having passed 22 classes leaving me with 24 more and thats when my troubles with mental health, anxiety and panic attacks begin again. \*my psychiatrist always tells me how a person like me is like a marathon runner trying to run with a broken leg. She used this analogy and never tells me you have this you have that. I see it written on my prescription though. Maybe so that I do not identify with my problem and use it as an excuse to cry all the time? She is kind of down to earth and harsh some times. But i know what i have. After balancing (or ignoring) my mental health all these years and some slight breath of fresh air and finally getting some stability for a short period of time- **without unwanted thoughts**- (purely out of attending uni and meeting my *boyfriend*, change of enviroment, having to live on my own etc.) last year my psychiatrist said that it was ok for me to get off meds and that i was stable and confident enough. **But i think i just tucked my problems with uni under a rug**. I got a part time job to help my financial needs and not be a burden for my parents who help me financially and i hated that job that only paid 3.5eur an hour and it wasnt worth the cope and it drained me so i quit after 2 months. I also couldnt attend university and had a major setback this year Academically. So much behing my peers. I feel like a failure and pharmacy school is hard and i have totally lost my spark and belief in my self and my abilities. I feel like i cant even remember basic chemistry, i cant recite anything, i cant absorb info OR MEMORIZE HUNDREDS OR THOUSANDS OF MEDS without crying and feeling hopeless before even starting. The constant anxiety and doubt about my future and panic attacks are killing me. I feel like i am brain dead and im constantly thinking about how many lessons i have to pass and i have Pharmacology Classes, Pharmaceutical Chemistry, etc etc while having so many GAPS from not even attending, memory loss, diziness etc and i dont know what to do. My family is kinda poor and have gone to great lenghts to help me go to uni in hopes of a better future and get my mental health under control. I love my parents and they are true gems and they care avout me very much but they are also very anxious and when i have a panic attack they cant handle it and it all ends in screaming and telling me to quit if i cant handle it. **The thing is:** -I feel like i am disappointing them and my old self on top of all that. I was not like this. Maybe i got burnt out or maybe this was not my calling and i cant do it which lead to all this mental crisis. -But i feel like i *have* to give it a try for the shake of my troubles. All my teenage years i've been trying to score good grades to get into a promising school and help me and my parents some time financially. But i feel like i am basically stupid and cant get anything done. I open a book and cry. When in the past i had courage to study and i actually believed in myself. -I got into Pharmacy with courage, strength and many hours of studying but UNI has gotten out of hand for me and i feel like im crawling while my peers are running. -I am totally hopeless. I dont know what to do. I have like 4 or 5 more years before they delete me of the courses (thats how it happens here) and i feel like ive lost track of my life. I dont like anything about my life. I cant focus on my pets, myself, my boyfriend. i dont know what my next move is. I have failed so much and i feel like middle schooler in terms of knowledge. -I want a quiet life with a job that pays enough for me to survive and maybe travel once in a while, i want pets and a piece of mind I feel like cant do Uni properly right now and i dont know if anyone else has a similar story or has gone through such difficulty before How can i get back on track, get myself to study so much when i fear studying and failure. Its not like i have 5 classes left. they are SO MANY and scary and i need to enroll with 100% of my brain capacity again when im basically in a vegetative state crying all day. I was an A student, how could i let myself hit rock bottom. **I feel like i am throwing my life away** I dont have any friends in the city where my uni is and thats very hard. Also im not a social person and i cant easily open up. Do i continue and give myself an opportunity- mind you how hard pharmacy is or do i start something new from scratch? something easier in my town to soothe my brain? My Degree is an MPharm deegree which is very promising and allows me to go abroads which has been my dream . But i feel to stupid to complete the classes, too burnt out How can i start over when i am at this state?How will i complete my dreams when everytime i wake up i feel like a complete failure, unable to even read a sentence out of my textbooks. Is OCD about Uni a thing? Cause thats whats been going on in my head for months now. Anyone that's had a similar experience or has some advice to offer? About my meds now:: I take **Trintellix (Vortioxetine)** i am on my 2nd week and dont feel anything at all. Escitalopram (my previous drug) i think helped with the mess in my head 2 yrs ago but made me super tired and my mind was foggy and I couldnt attend classes easily. I needed sleep all the time and was lethargic. My psych says this drug is promising because i was also diagnosed with major depressive episodes with panic and anxiety attacks. Is anyone taking it? **Extra Notes**: * I dont know if i am capable of putting in any work in my state- seems like i cant after all this failure. * My parents are really depressed with my state. I dont know what i can do to help them. They said im killing them * Jobs in Greece arent easy to find- they pay shit- most are service jobs. I wasnt planning to do that with my life. Seems like i am wasting years and potential but at the same time my mind fights in favour of dropping everything * Should i work Season and save money for some other college? For something less hard. I cant survive here without some sort of degree. **My point is after all this blah blah:** How do i get past all that? how can i get behing my academic needs and stop the voice in my head? Is it possible for someone like me? ------- I really want to hear similar stories or opinions, or some spark of hope. I dont know anyone with ocd or even attending Uni with ocd. Please dont be harsh on me if you dont know how ocd works. I am battling with my head everyday to the point of mental and physical exhaustion Also my 1st language isnt english so sorry for errors Thanks for reading, *yes i know im undecided and a mess.* :) love and hope to all reading my story. I hope one day i come back with great news and stronger

Last year my dad tested positive for Covid but I went to the movies with my brother a day or two after! I wasn’t gonna go but my brother wouldn’t stop asking so I caved in and went. I wore a mask and thought I wouldn’t get anyone sick. Even worse, I went to the supermarket afterwards! Only because it was a quick trip and I passed people quickly. I can’t remember if I wore a mask but I’m sure I did because I wore one at the movies. But don’t I belong in jail for being so careless? Or at the very least, shouldn’t I feel guilty everyday for the rest of my life? I’m a monster. I can’t live with myself.

Hey so I’m currently in high school and I graduate soon, but I’ve been struggling with symptoms of OCD maybe since early high school or my late middle school years. They’ve definitely gotten worse in my early high school years and I’ve caught onto them and talked to a family member about it, they said I could possibly have OCD. I pondered on it for a while and talked to my parents. They both laughed about it with each other and my father claimed my “mother had it and not me because I don’t do what she does” because she always needs things straight and in order. Ever since then I never bothered again to open up about it and kept it to myself. I’ve told a couple people since then and I got responses that didn’t do much for me, I’ve gotten “oh yeah you definitely have it I got some people around me that also do these things-“ and so on, or “oh maybe you have ADHD or-“ and then after that I didn’t say anything altogether. I don’t know what to do about diagnosis which is the main reason I got this app. I just hope there’s some more people like me out there that are struggling and can’t do much about it. No one around me gets it like I do and it’s so frustrating. It’s definitely not as bad as what I’ve seen from other people but it definitely eats at me everyday and can mess up my relationships and make me overthink my life and the environments around me. It holds me back from so many things and it’s stressful. I just need to know what I can do to stop it. Sorry for this depressing rant, I hope some of you can relate.

Hello everyone, this is my first post. I just wanted to write about how I am currently feeling, because I am having a hard time. Maybe someone has the same problem. I feel like, my OCD is the worst while working. I control everything many times and am always afraid to make the wrong decisions . Even after work I think a lot about work and very often get very bad anxiety. I am very insecure and need to know everything for sure before making a decision at work. I don’t even have a job, where something catastrophic could happen if I make the wrong decision, but it always feels like it. I already called in sick last week and during that time, I felt so much better. But I can’t call in sick every week. Does anyone feel the same and how do you manage this situation?

I made a very reckless decision. Last year I went to the movies when my dad tested positive for Covid and I did not even test before I went. Not maliciously at all, I just didn’t even think to since I didn’t feel sick. But I got sick a few days after. I wasn’t gonna go to the movies but my brother wouldn’t stop asking me and I caved in and went, since I wasn’t going to be face to face with anyone and I felt it was low risk. No one sat next to us. I wore a mask of course. But obviously there were still risks. People could have gotten it from touching the door handle that I touched and then touching their face when eating popcorn. Can’t believe I didn’t think of this. I cannot even live with myself. Usually I’m careful when it comes to Covid but not this time. Yes people make mistakes but nobody has made a Covid mistake as bad as this one! I don’t deserve to live.

My brain keeps obsessing over the idea that my mum could develop cancer. My brain keeps saying things like 'move your head twice' or 'tap the floor twice' and it has to feel RIGHT to make sure that she won't. But also all of my compulsions are basically praying until it feels right so when I move my head it's in the direction of the picture of God I have in my house for example, and it feels right. But when I do ERP and delay my compulsions they don't go away, they just come back stronger later in the day like a reminder that I really do have to do this. And if I refuse it's like I'm wasting the opportunity and giving this up, so I'm telling god that I'd be fine with her getting cancer and then she really will. I don't know what to do about this :(

Recently I have started obsessing over my looks especially with regards to aging. I feel that I'm getting "old" (silly I know, I'm 25 turning 26) and I feel like I'm getting body dismorphia or something. Ive realised I'm scared of losing my youth (not necessarily with regards to looks). I am scared to become an actual adult with responsibility. This also correlates with me moving in with my boyfriend and things progressing towards more serious stuff (engagement maybe?). And next year I'll graduate. It's all so scary. And I feel like I'm very very strict and obsessive with a lot of things in my life right now. Anyone relate?

A week ago I moved into my "new" apartment. I got paid a bit early so I had the money for the move in cost, so I decided to take the last few things I had while crashing at my parents and head to the "new" one. I had got to the place and started seeing all these "red flags" from my old apartment that I had hoped to get away from. I had been in communication with the landlord for a month about things I would like to have fixed and when I got there and saw they weren't, my heart started racing. I catastrophized so much I started crying and breathing heavy, so I grabbed my notecards with my tools on it and read "ride the wave" which I tried saying out loud but cried more. So I called my mom. Talked to her for an hour before I headed to the gym. I'm in a transition period and it's hitting me more than I thought. It's a bunch of things that weigh on my shoulders. Three years ago, I was fresh out of the hospital, just started seeking counseling with a therapist trained/Knowledgable in ERP. In the snap of a finger, I made the decision to move out on my own. That was scary. I was worried about all these thoughts I'd have but with the work of my first counselor and being led to NOCD, I persevered. I had to move out of my first apartment because they jacked the price up another $100 and I just couldn't swing it on my own. Moving out is a stressful experience, even more so when it's just yourself. So during that time, my ocd through all the subtypes at me. Suicidal ocd, POCD, Harm OCD, ROCD, and whatever else. I was taken back because I had really gotten a grasp on a few of them but I was made aware that OCD could be stirred up as I was moving, so it had a new opportunity to "attack". I was blessed to be able to crash at my parents for a couple weeks until I got the last of the money for the "new" apartment and that was a bit stressful as going from being on your own to living with others is a change. Even felt triggered that I was back in the hospital just by the lightning of the room I was in. You'd think I would've been excited to get out right? So did I. But the drive to my new apartment, I cried. While it was a tad stressful, I wasn't alone. I had home cooked meals. I was around family. Change is hard, especially for me. I am 28 and lost as far as where I'm "supposed" to be. Most people my age have kids (which aren't for me but okay if that's what others want🤍), houses, wives, great paying jobs, or careers. So moving to this apartment that isn't the nicest got to me. I've always let comparison take over me. Which then allows my OCD to send me into rumination, or catastrophizing. It's hard when you live alone, go from living alone, to staying with others, to back out on your own all within a month. My parents did come over this past Sunday to looknar my place and help unpack a box. I truly am blessed by God. I know this post seems "negative" and you may even ask how can you say you're blessed? Tbh, I have to remind myself a lot because I let doubt Creep in. Despite all of this, I am alive and breathing. While I am stressed about finances, this "new" place, and mental health...I am getting up each day. That is a victory in itself that I feel we who deal with OCD and mental illness should celebrate. I'm sitting at my apartment alone and bored. Which has me feeling a little depressed and I don't want to just bombard myself with comment to escape that feeling because as we all know with OCD, temporary fixes just keep the cycle of OCD spinning. So I wanted to make this post. To talk to y'all. I know I may not know any of you personally but we all share a common struggle, so honestly you could say we're family. Whatever the sub type, or mental illness you deal with, keep pushing. Keep working with your counselor and like i say and have to remind myself, show yourself grace. My NOCD therapist tells me a lot, how would you react to a friend who felt how you feel? You wouldn't condemn them. You'd uplift them. No matter what we have to keep going and doing the things we enjoy. That, to me, is the true victory over OCD because OCD hates to see us do things we like. Let's keep going! Much love. 💚

How do y’all keep going? Especially when there’s work to do

I am almost 18 right now and when I was 16 and under I did some horrible things I regret and make me feel like a bad person. I won’t go into detail but stuff people would find weird/hate me for. I am quite popular on social media and I see people getting cancelled so much on TikTok for things I used to do. It scares me. I acknowledge that what I did was bad and don’t do it anymore/havent done it again but the things still haunt me :(. I imagine scenarios of being cancelled and being infamous and everybody hating me. The stuff I did was because I was immature/didn’t really know it was wrong but I still feel like such a shitty person. I really want to be a good person and try to and whenever I try to think “I’m a good person” my ocd cancels it by reminding me of all the stuff I have done and I can’t call myself a good person. It also affects my boyfriend as well and my ocd latches onto him being imperfect. He has done things wrong/ things that have upset me, but my ocd takes this and uses it to show me “he’s a bad person” and we are both “problematic” I’m currently obsessing over it.

Feeling like a bad person has always been one of my reoccurring struggles with OCD. I’m working through trauma therapy at the moment and recognizing a lot of stuck points, and connecting a lot dots in relation to my OCD. But I feel like even if I make a small mistake or mess up, I can’t give myself grace - and I assume I’m an awful person. Obviously, my realistic self reassures me I would never intentionally hurt someone or have malicious intentions in situations. But sometimes I go round and round, and even think the only reason I think or want to be a good person is because I’m scared of being a bad person? I know that doesn’t make sense but it fucks with me and I’m sure only this group would understand. Anyway, today for example: I got sorta mad at my bf because he was trying to smack my butt and accidentally hit my back. And I said “ouch, stop - you got my back.” - in literally the least menacing way. And we laughed it off and he felt bad. And then I just couldn’t help myself from apologizing to him because I felt like I overreacted somehow. He seemed very confused and was so sweet about it. But I just felt like I overreacted, and I told him that I felt gross - I was trying to prepare food and it caught me off guard. And he was like “no yeah, that makes total sense - you literally don’t have to explain yourself or apologize at all!”. But I just got into this weird mood now, where I’m convincing myself I’m a bad person and a bad partner. And he should be with someone who is truly the sweetest person ever and beautiful to add on to the obsession. Sometimes I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I know I’m not a bad person but sometimes the OCD itself is very annoying. I feel like this wave has passed, and I’ve worked a lot on grounding myself and bringing myself to reality. Which is great! But I would really love to know if anyone else struggles with this kind of thing and what helps them in these times?

I feel like my mind is a storm. So many thoughts. I can't focus lately, becoming very forgetful (I also read about how there is such a thing as early onset dementia or alzheimer's and that is worrying me) I also worry what if I have ADD or ADHD along with OCD. I have so many things to do for my university studies and I'm so stressed. My room is a mess and I have many health worries and intrusive thoughts. I feel like I'm going to have an anxiety/panic attack. I'm scared of losing my mind or that I will lose control. It is 4am and I can't sleep because I feel too on edge and I'm so scared.

Hello everyone, I hope you are doing okay (or not okay - it's okay not to be okay). I wanted to share with you some realizations I've had that help me a lot, especially when I go through periods of increased symptoms/"brain stickiness": Sometimes, when my brain is sticky, I become hyperaware of every thought and decision I make, trying to decide if I'm giving into OCD or following my values. And then I get stuck ruminating about this and ruminating about the fact that I'm ruminating and ruminating on how to not ruminate, which of course makes me ruminate even more. (Do you see the pattern here??) It's at these times when I'm very tempted to turn it all on myself and criticize myself for having increased brain stickiness. I must be doing something wrong, right??! Why else would my brain be sticky right now when I've gotten so much better than I used to be?? My brain shouldn't be sticky anymore - I should feel totally calm all the time. And I'm not at the right point in my cycle (hormonally) to be experiencing this increased stickiness. So therefore it's my fault. Well, that's all BS, and I know it. OCD is a manipulative monster that loves to beat me down when I'm already down on the floor. I've learned through the last few years of ERP that all of OCD boils down to uncertainty - any chance of uncertainty means everything is wrong, time to panic, sound the alarms. So if there is any uncertainty in what I'm doing - what decisions I'm making, how i respond to my thoughts - then oh no, I'm immediately a failure. But the more I learn to embrace uncertainty (through ERP) while still experiencing periods of increased stickiness (for whatever reasons), I realize that this is all just part of the OCD cycle. Sometimes, my brain will be stickier, and that sucks. But it does NOT mean I have to figure out why it's sticky, or find ways to criticize and blame myself for the stickiness. It also means that I don't have to run to find the Goo Gone and make all the stickiness go away. (Can you imagine if there was Goo Gone for brains?? Haha) Instead, I remind myself of these major points I've learned through ERP: -We can't control our thoughts, only our responses to them. - With OCD, everything works backwards. The harder you try to either do or not something (from a place of fear/OCD), the more it backfires and goes in the opposite direction. A great example for me is trying to stop ruminating: the harder I try to stop ruminating, the more I ruminate. Or the more I try to do something that scares me because otherwise I feel like I'm avoiding it, the more I get paralyzed with fear and actually end up not doing it. So what's the best thing to do instead? Not try. (Yes, I know this sounds crazy, but trust me.) The less you try when your brain is sticky/jacked up with OCD, the more you embrace the uncertainties of life, and the more you go with the flow and enjoy the ride of life instead of fighting it. You will actually end up doing the things that scare you - not from a place of fear, but from a place of confidence and ownership over your OCD and anxiety. Now, your OCD symptoms will slowly decrease as you learn to tolerate discomfort, anxiety, and uncertainty. Not everything is knowable. Nothing is certain. -Try to have compassion for yourself (but not as a compulsion) and remember all of the amazing progress you've made and are continually making every single day!!!! -You can't think your way out of OCD, especially intrusive thoughts. Rumination doesn't solve a "problem"; it just leaves you with more "problems" that you feel like you have to solve. -OCD and your brain (amygdala) do NOT define you!!! -This too shall pass. -The only way out is through. YOU GOT THIS!!!!!!! I hope this helps anyone who is struggling. Just remember, I am an OCD Conqueror but I still go through periods of increased brain stickiness. And I still have to practice ERP and remember these points - but that doesn't make me weak or a failure!!! Take that, OCD!!!!

I am young but when I was younger I used to do bad perverted things with other females before I gave my life to Christ. So passing those years and coming to now I have already told my momma about how much trauma those experiences brought me. But when I was in 7th grade I started having bad and perverted thoughts about everyone I see but this was a little before me meeting christ but I kept seeing people and then thinking of then naked or me seeing them doing things with me or me thinking I like them/have a crush on them but the thing is I don't like them and I hated those thoughts, I knew they were wrong and they were disgusting and I hated them so fast forward to me finding christ in the summer of me going to 8th grade, My life got better I got away from bullies and started online school but the one thing that didn't stop Is the perverted thoughts I kept going on and on about how much I love God and I still do but the thing is I kept thinking these things then rebuking them but then I thought about them again and they came back and it has been weighing in my back so I told my mom my testimony about how I found Christ and what I used to do and she was very understanding and loving about it so fast forward to now or a little after the school year ended I started going through serious mental and religious stress where I felt like I had to stope talking to my friend so is started doubting God instead of seeking him I continuously felt hopeless like I should quit or I should just not be here anymore because I felt hopeless like I had no love or the God I grew so fond of wasnt loving like I thought but I got over that so fast forward to know a month after All of that started I keep telling my mom about everything even the small little details and I've been feeling good about it but the thing Is I tell her things but then I feel like it's not enough and I have to tell her more so coming back to the perverted thoughts they never stopped and I told my mom about them and I told her specifically that I keep having perverted thoughts about everybody I keep thinking about nakedness or I keep thinking I like them but then I rebuke it but they keep coming back and my mom felt very stressed with me because along with all the work that she does she has to deal with me and no she didn't mean that in a bad way but with me she said she feels like everything she is doing for me isn't enough because I keep continuously feeling her more and more and more and she feels like all that she is doing her prayer, her hugs, her love and her messages aren't working because I keep telling her more and more and more bad but never about me being better and that was yesterday she also says when she is at work she can't help but think about me and if I'm still here or if I'm breaking down or if something is happening so she is constantly worried and it us causing her serious stress and I feel bad and yesterday was just a bad day for her period, but that was yesterday and today I keep feeling like what I told her about my mind and the thoughts isn't enough I keep feeling like I have to tell her more like the exact people and I don't want to anymore and what i mean by that Is I feel like I have to go into detail and I have to tell her every little spell and dust about the situation and it is stressing me out because I genuinely feel like I have said enough like I feel like I need to tell her the exact people and yes I've had thoughts like this about family also but the thing is I told her everybody I see and I feel like that is enough but I feel like everytime I tell her something it has to be in perfect detail and I have to tell her every little thing or else what I told her ain't credible and I see that that has been negatively impacting me and her because it's making her feel like she isn't doing enough for me or she is being a bad mother because of all that Is happening and the fact that I have to tell her ever little detail and it's hurting me because I feel like I don't want to go into detail because im not comfortable but if I don't I feel like I'm failing my mom and God and I don't know what to do anymore does anyone have anything to help me with about this from a Christian perspective?

Hi! Does anyone think my ocd could’ve spiked through perfectionism in sports? I play sports at a high level and I’m insanely hard on myself. Is this a thing?

I’m religious and kind of practicing, unable to fully commit because an inspirational message shared by a prominent member of the religion turned into a trigger for me. Essentially, the central message of the address was that, when it comes to how we spend our time, we could be engaged in good things, even better of things, or the best things, and it’s up to us how we want to spend the time God gave us It’s caused me to develop the phrase “good, better, best” as a mantra and I feel constantly overwhelmed now. No matter what I’m doing, in the back of my mind I know there are better things I could spend my time on and it causes me to feel intrinsically guilty for simply trying to enjoy my leisure time It extends into long-term things as well. For example, last year I had to change jobs because my OCD was affecting my job performance. I went from a web developer to computer repair and it feels like I dropped from a “better” career to a “good” career. It feels like I’ll never be satisfied with myself in terms of my profession until I can get back to coding, which I don’t even know would be a good thing for me, mental health-wise I wake up most mornings already feeling like I’m failing to measure up to some impossibly high standard that no one even set for me, and it’s exhausting. I don’t know how get by when I feel like all my energy is spent stressing that I’m not the most productive person alive

My daughter is almost 9 and she was diagnosed OCD almost 2 years ago. I am looking for support on how to support her. She has reassurance compulsions, always needs to know everything is okay. This can be from touching something or smelling something or walking by something. She asks me like 400 times a day.. she also needs the house in perfect order all the time. She is the 2nd oldest of 4 and can’t handle anyone playing with anything or things being out of place. She won’t ever relax and is constantly cleaning and reorganizing the house. She also is very fearful of being sick and is scared that everything will make her sick. She also has a really hard time making friends because it’s hard for her to hide what is bothering her. I thought she might have hfasd, and her psychiatrist agreed that she might but I figure if I can start helping her OCD then maybe I can help her as a whole. She just has a lot of anxiety attacks and I am burnt out on what to do. I feel helpless in how to help her. There are 3 other kids I am responsible for and she consumes almost every moment of my day, except for when she is at school.