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im still worried that a two year age gap 16 and 18 is bad and that is a warning sign im a “p” or im grooming the person

Hey! I am really struggling with pocd and I have EXTREME guilty because I feel like I should told my partner about this. Especially because I had really awful thought about his little brother. I have really high anxiety because of this and he can see that I am not feeling well because I am crying all the time. I am just so scared he is gonna leave me if I tell him about this even he says that he is not going to. I am going to broke down so badly if he does that and to be honest I don’t think that I will made it if this really does happen. Still I feel this extremely guilty feeling if I don’t tell him..

I don’t know where else to go, I feel as though my depression just keeps getting worse and worse and even though my ocd is under control, it still makes me upset. It truly is a life ruiner and there’s nothing I could do about it but take medication and learn to adapt. Not only that, I’m starting to feel like my home isn’t a “happy home” that much anymore. Everyday or at least every other day there is an argument between my parents. I hear it, even at times where it’s 1 am and I can literally hear them angrily have sex and THEN going back to arguing and crying and shit. This is relevant because I started getting more unwanted thoughts about my dad and mom, not only with my harm ocd but maybe a newly stemming ocd too ? 100% gross sexual images pop into my head and I fucking hate it. I just need some comfort and to be told I’m not alone.

TW !!!!! i’m so scared right now and i just want someone to relate because i feel like an awful awful person, this is an event hat happned when i was 5 or 6 i don’t really know how old i was but i was a young child and with another child who was 2 or 3 years younger than me i can’t really remember the age gap but that’s what terrified me because im scared i did COCSA. ( child on child sexual assault) i feel awful and i have this recurring thought “what if i took advantage of him” and it wont stop. i remember i said to him do you want to see what sex is like and i said but keep your clothes on and he said okay and i want doing it for sexual pleasure because i dont think i really understood or knew what it was but i kept my clothes on and he took all his clothes off when i didn’t want him to (including his underwear)and he got on top of me and was moving and i remember feeling really uncomfortable so i stopped it and i know this might be tmi but i just need to know if i abused him or not because i cant stand the thought, im really struggling and i don’t think there was any evil intent behind what happened but i keep having the recurring thought “what if i took advantage of him” i don’t know what to do i feel like i should turn myself in to the police i feel dreadful

I am clean and free from my porn addiction. I was 8 and now I'm 18. I didn't realize it was an addiction until now and all the shame is hitting me at once. I let my porn addiction take me to dark and sketchy places. Now I can't get over the shame of the actions I did. I was shameful before but now I accepted that it was an addiction, ive been so depressed and having thoughts about what I did and if I could go back and save myself now I would. I keep getting so many intrusive sexual thoughts about literally everything. People, places, things, animals and even children. I hate all these anxiety inducing painful thoughts. Does anyone have any insight on recovering from excessive thoughts?

I posted about this yesterday but I’ve felt sick about it literally all day. I was talking to my friend about a tiktoker I said was hot. They said the person looked too young. I started freaking out because I never thought of that and ended up finding the person’s age. Turns out they are 17. I’m 24. I feel like a monster. My heart has been stuck in my throat for over 24 hours. I keep going back to look at the person’s profile to see if I still think they’re attractive after knowing their age and it’s confusing/scaring me even more because when they wear makeup I feel like they only look a few years younger than me. I had nightmares all night last night. I feel like I’m not a normal person, I’m like one of those people that hit on teens online. I feel so depressed. My gf thinks I’m being ridiculous for worrying so much about this. But I’m 24 YEARS OLD and this person is 17. What is wrong with me? How could I think something like this? I’m scared that what if I didn’t stop thinking they’re attractive. I just want to sleep and cry all day. I hate myself and I feel disgusting. I just don’t know what to do.

Please share you story if you feel comfortable. I’m posting way too much on here but I’m feeling absolutely defeated lately and I’m just wondering if anyone on here has been dealing with pocd for a long time, has it gotten any better for you? Do you have a therapist, and how did you bring it up to them? How do you deal with it? I’m looking for a therapist now on psychology today and I’m relieved to have found people I’m interested in working with. I’m so scared. This is the worst my life has ever felt I really hope one day I will be recovered. I miss being happy to be alive

I’m not feeling too well today because these intrusive thoughts in my head keep cycling and cycling even though I don’t want to have these thoughts and I want them to go away. My girlfriend is getting so tired of having to hear what girl I thought abt and what situation i’m reflecting on even though I don’t even mean to be thinking those things. I feel so guilty and horrible these things come into my brain. I don’t want to think things about other women, my girlfriend is amazing and is very patient and has been so patient ever since i’ve been having obscure or other thoughts about women wether it be just a thought or even sexually. It’s not on purpose. It just keeps happening and I can’t explain how my brain keeps doing it. I just came across so much research about Pure O Ocd and I think I have that. I’m very new to this but my twin brother also has OCD and Bipolar and I feel as though i’m the same way. I’m so tired of having unwanted thoughts come into my head. I feel so upset and hurt knowing I have to tell my girlfriend exactly what it is that came into my head. I feel like a failure.

I’m having a hard time tonight. I’m 24 and I was just talking to a friend about a tiktoker and I mentioned that I thought she was pretty hot. They said they don’t think she is attractive because she looks like a teenager. I never thought about that before and now I’m freaking out because maybe she is a teen, and even if she isn’t, I’m grossed out by the fact that I could think that if she is perceived to be so young. I can’t find her age anywhere and it’s worrying me. I know I probably shouldn’t be looking for it, but I feel like such a huge creep and I feel like I need to know. I’m just feeling a lot of distress and I could use some advice/encouragement/kind words from someone who’s dealt with something similar. I feel like I HAVE to find out her age to make sure she isn’t a minor. But I’m afraid she is. And even if she isn’t, my friend thinks she looks like one so I’m gross regardless. Idk why I never had any second thoughts about this til now. Fuck :(

Hey guys so I’m new to this. I struggle really bad with religious ocd on top of other themes of ocd i have. But the religious ocd and POCD I have are definitely the hardest two. Today was so hard for me because I was freaking out all day about the eclipse and if it was the end of the world. I grew of in a very strict church and being gay was not acceptable so now I feel I’m morally wrong and unlovable in a sense. I don’t really know how to explain it. Wether it was from my youth pastor outing me on stage in front of all of my friends and hundreds of students, to them praying over me for years on end, before I finally left the church. Yet I still question if my salvation is safe or not. I question if God loves me etc. it gets so bad that I’m convinced everything I do is because I’m possessed by a demon. And I’ll start to vomit. Literally vomit. It sounds wild I know. Wether it’s music my ocd deems demonic or movies or spiritual things such as tarot cards that I enjoy. But my mind will convince me if I use them I will go to hell because that’s what I was taught for so long. I just wish I could get better but I don’t know how and I’m so hopeless.

I'm stuck. My compulsions always centered around expelling all anxiety from myself, but now I've found something external that can't be neutralised - completely ego-dystonic centered around the most horrific thing I've encountered in my life and the thought that someone could know I had watched it and thought I was genuinely into it sexually. I always clung to this idea that I could expel enough anxiety that it wasn't bothering me. Wouldn't be perfect, but I could at least get rid of it enough to function well. But this has knocked me down completely: This is a thought that will always cause me anxiety anytime I think it, every social situation, every day at work is a ticking time bomb where I feel I have to avoid it. There's positives. I've learned a lot about my compulsions around perfectionism socially. After the anxiety passes I'm still confident, I'm still funny, it doesn't affect my personality. I know it isn't me. But I can't laugh off the subject matter like I would normally do, and no matter what I do I will always be able to think something that causes me anxiety on this. And when it does, my anxiety slaughters me. It throws me cognitively, if I've eaten anything, I get to taste it twice; that happened yesterday - Thankfully I have a great relationship with my manager and team leader so could convince them to keep it between us and keep working but the moment you feel your stomach go and the saliva starts to come, it's coming up whether you want it or not. The anxiety spike hits me when I wake up in the night, stopping me sleeping. When I'm enjoying myself 'too much, it brings it up to put me in my place. When I go to the gym or out with friends, the fear of the anxiety hits me. It's actually not even the situation anymore, it's the anxiety about the anxiety. But I've watched myself slide backwards from all the incredible progress I've made. I've made mistake after mistake feeding compulsions I never should've done, all the time working towards a different compulsion that I thought would magically fix all this. That's the most insidious thing about OCD. The more you try to fix it, the worse it gets. I've never had this before. Never something external that can't be resolved. I can't sleep much. Can't eat a lot. Watching my muscle mass deteriorate. What if it happens on a date? What if it happens in an interview? Why this? Why did my OCD latch on to something this disgusting (That one probably answers itself actually haha). Either this helps me finally realise that not all thoughts are meant to be resolved, reveals more about the OCD and helps me improve. Or it doesn't. Anyone had anything like this? A period of sustained downhill with the OCD that you pulled out of? Something external that you couldn't ever get confirmation of, but helped you in the end? Maybe didn't, but you still soldiered on anyway. Just looking for a little optimism tbh.

i have a very giving but emotionally draining mom. all of my siblings have struggled with her. when she came up to visit me, she had told me that she feels that my current boyfriend “isn’t the one for me.” meanwhile she knows barely anything about my life, my relationship, etc. she fell in love with my dad and that was the only relationship she’s had. she expects my relationship to be like one in a romance novel, when in reality me and my bf both struggle mentally. regardless of that, we still love each other beyond words and are extremely healthy considering the cards we’ve been dealt. ever since she’s shared her unwarranted opinion, i’ve had obsessive thoughts that she has a “motherly instinct” and that me and my bf aren’t meant to be. i’m so young, and if that were to be true, i always like finding things out on my own. i’m happy and content, and i wish she hadn’t said that, because now that consumes my thoughts. she’s a huge ally which helps with my SO-OCD, but after her saying she doesn’t think me and my bf will last, i wonder if she pictures me with the same sex. i don’t want to be with a girl, but what if that’s her instinct. i now worry that when i have SO-OCD triggers, that those girls are the ones my mom can see me with. it’s disturbing and unwanted.

tw for mention of SA I've been really thinking back on something that happened to me as a child, and if it was the direct cause of my OCD. I'm not sure if OCD has any direct causes, but I think I know what triggered mine. As a child, at around 5, I was SA and I feel like it's what started it. I started getting my first intrusive thoughts soon after this happened and they mainly related to fears of it happening again or me doing it to other people. It kept progressing until where I am now. I feel really guilty because I don't know if I'd still have OCD today if it never happened. I know I was a child but I wish I could have fought back more and I wish I stopped it before it could happen I just feel so bad about everything and I feel like all my problems right now could have been prevented

Experiencing a theme switch and it completely blindsided me. I feel very alone. This was the one theme I didn’t want. It’s not super awful my harm ocd was much more difficult but this one is way more isolating. I can’t share my thoughts 😭😭 any encouragement would help. Thank you..

For the most part anything under 16 I can usually (?) tell- but a few times I’ve incorrectly guessed an adult was a kid and a kid was an adult and that’s really worried me significantly. I’m really stressed, does anyone else have this problem? Am I overthinking it???? Or am I a dangerous person for having these thoughts…? Recently I found a girl on Instagram who was the tallest oldest looking 15 yr old I’ve ever seen and I panicked. I just hoped she was lying cause she looked like she was 25 :( The comments were people also not knowing her age and then a stream of people shaming them for it. I felt really gross inside, I wasn’t even attracted to her or anything I was just worried that by not guessing her age correctly that I was a P.

I was thinking about random stuff and then started thinking about what it would be like to raise a baby. After thinking that I had a random wave of arousal? I know it wasn’t from thinking of babies but I’m still worried it was. How do you know if it was or not? I wasn’t even thinking of babies specifically just what it would be like having one. It was random arousal and scared me.

I need help because I’m really struggling right now. There is a masc woman/lesbian athlete that came up on my tik tok and it feels like I have a crush on her. Now I keep getting intrusive sexual images about her. I don’t want to have a crush on a girl but it feels so real. I absolutely hate this and want to cry because now I feel like Im attracted to her. Has this happened to anyone else???

Hello, I’m 25 weeks pregnant, and I’m having intrusive thoughts. I was molested as a child multiple times and have always been afraid to have children yet here I am. These thoughts came out of nowhere and I’ve been so terrified. I would never harm my child or any child. I’m so distraught, I’m thinking about abortion because I’m so afraid. God please help me, I can’t do this

Hey y’all! I just joined this community. I am really excited to grow in overcoming OCD in my brain. I’ve had anxiety and phobias my entire life and have had OCD for about 1.5 years now. I have POCD, harm OCD, and general compulsive thoughts about doing things out of character. I have these mostly in social situations or even when I am alone thinking I might post something in a group chat. I don’t like traveling alone because I am afraid of what I might do. I am tired of feeling alone and I’ve been misdiagnosed several times which has made me feel helpless. But I know there is hope. I know there is a way forward and this has a name. 💪🏼🌞

As someone with pocd, mom bathed my little cousin and then gave her to me to put on her clothes. I panicked when she first told me to do it. I really didn’t wanna but eventually I put on her clothes. What I don’t understand is why am I crying after doing that? I rushed upstairs to my room & just broke down. If anyone knows anything about this, just tell me please.