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Lately, my intrusive thoughts have gotten worse (likely because I've been stressed and trying to not think the bad thoughts causes them to happen more). I just cannot figure out a way to not fixate on the bad things I've said in my head. I'm just waiting for the punishment for saying those bad things, which gives me more anxiety and keeps the cycle going. I was wondering if anyone had any tips/success with moving on after having a disturbing thought.

I don't know what to do anymore, the fear of psychosis and schizophrenia is so bad in so hyper aware of everything I hear and everything I see, I've always had eye floaters now I convince myself that it's really me hallucinating, I've always had tinnitus but now I'm convinced it means I'm going to go crazy soon, I can't sit in quiet because all I'm focusing on is what I'm hearing, and searching for any sounds I can't distinguish, when there's background noise I get so anxious if I think I heard something but im not sure I did or I'm just anxious, I'm terrified I'll start having delusions and sometimes my brain confuses some sounds for other sounds for example say I'm hyper focused and I breathe and my nose makes a whistling sound my mind interprets it as a scream and I freak out thinking I'm hallucinating only to focus closer and realize it's my own breathing, earlier I was so anxious that I couldnt tell if I had an intrusive thought or heard something, I don't know how to make it stop, I've been through this theme before I just forgot how hard it was I'm having a panic attack please help

New to this app. Do members find it helps, I'm worried I will start obsessing over things I hadn't thought about before when I read other people's OCD triggers...

Hi! For context: I was diagnosed with OCD late last October, I’ve had it for my entire life. At the same time I started Sertraline medication. I’m turning 22 this year, I’m finally with my long distance partner again and we are starting a new chapter. So safe to say going through a lot of changes, my family and friends are across the world from me. I’ve had so many good things happen to me after my OCD diagnosis (I’ve gone through a lot of trauma so I’m not used to good things happening to me like this) and I’m not used to feeling good. I’m constantly worried that something bad will happen and I cant stop worrying about it, even though there is no use.. Current world events are on my mind as well though I’ve decided to limit my news intake for now and focus on myself. I’m going through so many big changes right now, my body is getting used to my medication and my frontal lobe is developing so my hormones are just crazy (and I also suffer from PMDD before my periods). I just feel so different every single day and at times it feels like I dont know who I am anymore and it’s extremely strange and my ocd tries to cling onto that and tell me that something is wrong or something is about to go wrong. Does anyone have a similar experience? I feel like I’m completely alone in this

Being exposed to taboo p*rn as young as first grade ruined my life and now ocd is making me pay for it. I have so much guilt for being a child/teen and looking at taboo stuff, and it was all fictional or anime or whatever but it was still so so gross. and I didn't realize It because I had been used to it at so young 🫠 I think what haunts me most is when I was a kid/young teen (like 12-14ish) and didn't have access to p*rn I'd imagine stuff similar to what I'd seen in the art. I can't even believe I'd imagine scenarios involving kid characters or whatever because it had been so normalized to me and I assumed it was normal since it was fiction. I'm 23 now so it's been a decade since I've done anything like that and I've never had the urge to since but still. I've NEVER been attracted to kids or had any urges or anything ever, even when I was addicted. The thought makes me want to vomit, I'd rather die than associate anything sexual with kids/minors and I think people who groom or assault kids are vile. But I still feel like the fact that I imagined stuff similar to the things I read sometimes when I was young is proof I'm a p*do. I don't think people would believe me if I said I'm not. I just feel like I don't deserve to live or that if I do, I'm living a lie. I know 'I was a kid too' but even when I was 13/14 I read/imagined stuff with characters younger than me because I thought it was normal. I'm so disgusted. I've had this theme for so long I'm starting to wonder if ocd is right. I feel too ashamed to tell my therapist.

Does anyone else experience ocd around the topic of non monogamy and hookup culture and stuff? Im not hating people who are into these things, intact I thinks it great that people have ways of experiencing relationships how they want to and I will always support and advocate for that, but non monogamy and hookup culture is not for me. However because its not for me and I really don't want to partake in any of these things by brain keeps telling me things like: 1. Monogamy is toxic and fake and polyamory is the only real way to have relationships 2. I secretly want non monogamy and casual relationship 3. I'm experiencing these feelings because im a bigot 4. Everyone's involved in non monogamy in some for these days even if its things like open relationships, threesomes etc so monogamy will become rare and you will never have a relationship Those are just some of the thoughts but I have many more. Like I said I'm supportive of people who engage in those things, but I don't want it and I feel as though I can't justify my reasons why I don't want it and that I'm a fake or a bigot. I'm constantly googling "benefits of monogamy" "why monogamy is better" etc to justify to myself why I want what i want. My googling is so obsessive though and I'm up all night doing it and watching videos and things. I can't sleep because of my worries. Everytime I see anything, anywhere relating to non monogamy wheather that be open relationships, polyamory, threesomes etc I feel so sick In my stomach, my anxiety sky rockets and I just want to cry, it's how I am with seeing gay relationship and things with my sexual orientation ocd. (I feel the same when I things about hookups and stuff too). It's like a voice in my head is going "see it's working for these people, you actually want it, your lying if you don't". I have thousands of screenshots of articles and posts that's reassure me about my wants but my ocd always makes be doubt myself. I need some advice on how to deal with it, because im at breaking point and feel like a horrible person. I also want to know if anyone else is dealing with what I'm going through.

Hi everyone, I’m Cayla. I’m a mom that’s lived with OCD since childhood, but my breaking point came more recently after having my son. I was consumed by terrifying thoughts—What if I hurt him? What if I did something awful without realizing it? I was so afraid of my own mind that I couldn’t be alone with him. The shame and exhaustion were unbearable, and I convinced myself I was broken. In 2024, I finally sought help. ERP therapy at NOCD was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but it saved my life. Even now, I have tough days, but I know I don’t have to be ruled by OCD. When my 12 year old daughter began showing signs of OCD, I felt overwhelmed with guilt. I never wanted her to go through what I had, but I knew what to do. I told her that I have OCD too and made sure she knew it wasn’t her fault—and that she wasn’t alone. One of the hardest parts of this journey was trusting someone else with my daughter’s OCD. I knew how vulnerable it feels to share intrusive thoughts, and I wanted her to feel safe. Her NOCD therapist was able to establish trust and genuine empathy from the start, and that relationship gave her the confidence to face ERP head-on. Seeing her build that trust made me certain she was in the right hands. ERP has helped both of us reclaim our lives, and it is beautiful to see my daughter managing her condition and making visible progress. Parenting with OCD while raising a child with OCD isn’t talked about enough, but I know so many parents are struggling with these same challenges. If you have questions about managing OCD while parenting, helping your child through ERP, or breaking cycles of guilt, drop them below—I’d love to share what I’ve learned. I’ll be answering all of the questions I receive in real-time today 4-5pm ET.

When you get a stuck thought in your mind, as stupid or untrue as it may be, how do any of you block them out, or try to at least? It’s like my mind has another voice telling me making up the stupidest things?

I've been struggling with feeling like a "bad/weird/wrong person" for a while now and I feel like every day I'm hyperaware of things I say and do, comparing myself to others (especially "bad people" from movies or documentaries), feeling like I have to figure out what's wrong with me, feeling vulnerable in public, etc. This has put a huge strain on my relationships and school work, where I feel stuck in my head constantly unable to focus. When I talk to people I feel hyperaware of how much I use the word "I" in my conversations, and I beat myself up after for being selfish. I've been crying a lot, almost everyday, especially when I go digging through my memories to figure out if I've always been "bad" and trying to diagnose myself. On one hand I feel as though I should dig all these things up in order to fix myself, but on the other hand I find myself becoming more irritated, isolated and depressed whenever I go down this road. I thought doing all of these things would make me a better person but I think it's just making myself and everyone around me miserable. So I'm wondering, is all this comparison, rumination and hyper-self-awareness just a compulsion that must be resisted? I'm afraid if I don't do these things my "badness" will go unchecked and get worse. (As I type this I feel like I'm also probably lying/exaggerating).

Hello! I just got diagnosed with OCD a week ago and joined the app today to find a sense of community. Since my understanding of treatment is minimal at this point, I'm confused why everything on here tells us not to seek or give reassurance? If someone could explain the reasoning behind that it would be greatly appreciated, as I want to make sure I'm not only watching out for it in my personal life but also using this app appropriately.

Hey all. I’ve been on NOCD for maybe two months, or three? and I’m still struggling. My episode of “OCD” started at the end of September last year, and ever since it’s been hell. The first month was what I can only describe as torture. I was crying every day, vomiting from anxiety, and the moment I woke up I was seized by panic in my chest and fear of the day to come.My favorite part of the day was nighttime because I knew I could go to sleep and have the briefest respite from the constant stream of intrusive thoughts. The very first thought I had was one of POCD, and it terrorized me for days on end before I finally told my mom and boyfriend out of feeling the need that if they knew and knew how scared I was, they would be able to help me and stop me from doing anything. It felt good to know that they were still there for me despite what I was thinking, but that relief didn’t last very long. Soon nothing they could say was enough to calm me down, and I was put on 50 mg of sertraline. I barely ate and found that one of the few things that brought me comfort was researching my symptoms online. I came across OCD and then NOCD, and to this day am fairly convinced I have “pure” OCD. The three psychologists I’ve visited say, though, that I’m not showing any compulsions like magical thinking or counting, and that then it’s not OCD and I’m suffering from a severe depressive/ anxious episode. I’m struggling a lot with this because it’s almost as if I need to have OCD, because then that means I have a condition that’s been studied and that I can be helped. Then I feel as if I’m trying to manipulate my psychologists into diagnosing me with it. My current psychologist recognizes that I’m dealing with obsessive thoughts, but since I haven’t told her about any conducts she believes that my intrusive thoughts are a result of depression or some trauma that I haven’t fully processed yet. I’ve lived through some stuff, but I struggle to understand exactly which one of them was so bad and harmful to me that it’s destroyed me like this. I’ve always kind of moved on from things and thought that I’ve healed from them, because nothing has ever hurt me like this. As such I’m feeling extremely hopeless because no matter which name is tied to my condition, I get the idea that I’m going to continue thinking about it every day for the rest of my life because I’ll never forget I thought of such horrible things. That makes me feel like I don’t want to live anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to kill myself, I desperately want to live and be happy again and accomplish all my goals. But the idea of dragging this with me for days upon days upon days is so tiring, that I wish my conscience could just cease to exist. I’ve thought of hurting myself just to show everyone how bad I’m hurting, and how desperate I am. That would bring no good and I can only imagine how that could hurt my parents. So I’m living each day and holding on. Sometimes it gets better, and sometimes it gets worse. Today is the latter and I just felt like I needed to vent. Thank you if you read up to here. I wish you all the best :)

Hi, I'm 17,about to be 18. I've been struggling with these thoughts for the past 8 months. I was wondering if someone experienced ever the same because I feel im "different". BACKGROUND: (I'm not diagnosed with Ocd but seeing a local counselor) About 9 months ago I cheated on my boyfriend with this guy S (who blackmailed, manipulated and molested me). Since then when I realized that what i did was very WRONG and so I started ruminating picking apart every single interaction and telling my boyfriend, i tried to remember every single detail because otherwise I felt like i was being a fraud and hiding things to save myself, i had many crisis about it because I had also what i think was false memory ocd. My boyfriend forgave me idk how tbh I still wonder. CURRENT STRUGGLE: Months ago I was sure I didn't wanna S in any way and i was sure even when everything happened. For the past 2 months tho I've been having thoughts like " Do I love S?" "I love S" "S is hot" "Would S find me hot?" "What if I want S?" " What if I don't love my boyfriend enough?" "What if I secretly want S?" "What if I see my boyfriend as a friend only?Do I?" And I tried testing my reaction to intimate scenarios with S, I'm scared I like it i dont really wanna love S or have any secret attraction, I wish I didn't have any of this and I want to be sure of my feelings for my boyfriend because I know I wanna be with him and I see a future with him like he brings me comfort. But a part of me keeps trying to convince me otherwise. Sometimes I think I'd rather die than have these thoughts. Im so scared of not being able to control my feelings, im scared I can't resist S and its giving me anxiety and making me cry. Sometimes when i think of those sexual scenarios with S or I get those thoughts my mind tells me to smile because i like it because I find it funny. It makes me doubt myself all over again. Today i had a crisis where i ended up doinf swlf harm, I'm so scared of finding someone that's not my boyfriend desirable or sexual appealing or whatever it is, I also have bodily reactions when I try to imagine and test my reaction to scenarios. Does someone experience the same thoughts? Am I alone in this? Is this ROCD? Can someone help me because I'm really hopeless?

Just kind of putting my thoughts here in hopes it lifts a weight off my chest because I've been feeling very hopeless lately with my OCD. Having just graduated college and being unable to live on my own or have a job because of OCD is really getting to me in addition to my living situation with my family being somewhat of a toxic situation. I feel like I'm stuck in a box and at the all time lowest point of my life which I at first thought was a blessing because when you're at your lowest you can only go up, right? Unfortunately, it seems like I keep outdoing myself when it comes to my lows or just remaining stagnant. When it comes to my OCD, I desperately want to get better and I have an amazing therapist now that I feel like is really helping me but I just can't move forward. It feels like there's some sort of mental block that I just cannot get past when it comes to any clear progress with exposures and treatment and I just feel so awful about it. I find myself so exhausted these days from the constant compulsions and mental stress from being frustrated with myself for giving in to the compulsions. I've always been fairly hard on myself and I feel sure that that's one of the reasons it's so difficult for me to make progress, but it's really hard for me to not beat myself up when my OCD keeps me from doing unbearably simple things like using the bathroom normally. I've forgotten what it was like before my OCD became so severe and I feel almost like a ghost some days. I tend to experience very intense emotions and have very severe lows but recently I find myself feeling more and more resigned to my situation and wanting to put as little effort into my everyday life as I can. Living with OCD is just so exhausting and I feel so weak from it. Every day feels either exactly the same or catastrophic. There's little I find myself looking forward to. I wish for the feeling of safety again that OCD took from me. I want to continue holding out hope that things will get better but I worry often that I'm far too weak to do anything about it. Sometimes it feels like all I can do is drown in my own disgust with what's become of me. I hope this is not forever.

i don't think i ever felt this bad before. ive had ocd since i was 14 or so, almost a decade, but now it's truly the worst it's ever been. i can't even enjoy being with the love of my life anymore, everything about our intimacy triggers me, im costantly afraid that i abused her in some way and that she doesn't remember because she's in denial, or im always terrified im having some horrible intentions towards her and that i always end up forgetting them. it's so deeply confusing, she seems so happy being with me she says she loves me so much and i can see it in how she looks at me, but i feel like a monster. most of the time i wish she could find someone better, if she asked me j would break up with her and do anything in my power to make her have the life she deserves. i don't know what to do anymore im exhausted. therapy is not helping at all, i Just get told constantly that i shouldnt think about these things, that its illogical, and it does nothing for me.

I’ve been ruminating since Friday. My ocd is beginning to feel pretty real. I wanna get back on track with my life. I’m really tired. I can’t bare with these intrusive feelings and thoughts. I feel like I’m sinking again. I’m so desperate. I’m irritable , exhausted , I wanna just yell.

I’m 18 and very new to my diagnosis, I’ve had symptoms my whole life but it’s gotten significantly worse within the last few years. I’m honestly just looking for advice. My days feel impossible, I wake up and have to convince myself I’m real, and I continue with that battle my entire day. Sometimes this battle happens and i start worrying that I can’t breathe. When I eat I get worried there’s fentanyl in my food that I will overdose from. My life feels impossible and I can’t see how this will get better or when it will. I’m on medication, and am in conversational therapy but I’m still learning about myself and my triggers etc so it’s hard to know what to talk about, how to explain it best and what can help me overcome my struggles. Anyhoo any advice would be so insanely appreciated. I don’t have a very supportive community around me. they try to be supportive but I don’t think they understand what OCD is or how mine works.

OK, this might sound really dumb, but when you guys get intrusive thoughts, do they just come once and then go away? I’ve heard that repeatedly thinking about an intrusive thought is considered ‘checking,’ but it doesn’t feel like I have any control over how many times it comes up in my head. It’s not like I’m trying to check anything—it just keeps showing up, almost like it’s terrorizing me every time. I can’t seem to stop it from looping, stop remembering it, or prevent it from coming up. Every time it does, I feel horrified, and I already know it’s going to horrify me. I don’t think I’m actively trying to see if my feelings have changed, so is this still considered checking? How do other people get an intrusive thought and just move on? Doesn’t it pop up a million times for them too? I always thought that was normal, but now I’m hearing this could be a compulsion, and I feel really confused, scared, and lost. Is this why my OCD feels so extreme? Because I really don’t feel like I can control how many times the thought pops up.

(what i'm going to say here may not make sense to many, but i want to hear words from real people, i'm tired of searching in the GPT chat) since i was a teenager i have developed certain "fetishisms" with the theme of incest (specifically between cousins), because there was an episode in my childhood that marked me enough for this to happen. i remember consuming a lot of this content (in stories or videos), because i felt a groin sensation (or i was genuinely arroused). i never actually felt mental and moral approval for it, for obvious reasons. i knew it was wrong! but i consumed it because of the feeling..it vaguely reminds me that i didn't feel guilty or anything like that, because unfortunately it's a very commonplace topic and a very collective experience, this "contact" between cousins, however wrong it may be. i recognized that this feeling was wrong, so i simply stopped wanting to have contact with it when i reached a certain age where i was already sufficiently aware of its harmfulness. but now, suffering from these pedophilic-themed thoughts, i realized that the "groinal feeling" i have when these thoughts come to my head, It's the same one i had when i thought about this incestuous theme with my cousin. this made me a little desperate, i went to GPT to look for a plausible answer to this.. i basically said that thoughts about my cousin didn't make me as desperate and agonized as these pedophilic thoughts, and i had the moral conscience behind it, although harmful, it was not AS sick as pedophilia. today i relapsed into pornography again, but i think it was a form of compulsion, perhaps.. i know that my thoughts regarding pedophilia are completely ego-dystonic, because i don't want them. but i don't know, a professional will give my final verdict. I just know that today I researched pornography with an incestuous theme and despite the physiological reaction, i couldn't feel any kind of adrenaline or pleasure in my brain. none. could it have been a compulsion? idk. i don't know anything else.

Codependency and lack of understanding personal boundaries is ruining my life. Can anyone else relate and offer help? I need help. I posted this in the CPTSD subreddit to I need help figuring out how to stop falling back into patterns of behavior I’ll stop for a week or two or a month but then it all comes back -I lie to my dad about stuff I need for school so I don’t run out of money Becuase I have really bad anxiety surrounding money since I don’t have a job at school (I’m working on it) -when love interests or friends don’t respond to me for long periods of time it’s hard for me to not constantly call them and text them to ask them if I did something wrong or if they hate me -I have OCD that convinces me I’m evil or have NPD so instead of improving I just accept that I’m bad and it makes it hard for me to get myself out of the shame spiral -no emotional regulation skills (I smoke multiple times a day and I drink often to sleep at night because my thoughts are so brutal) -it’s hard for me to be happy for other people due to my own perfectionistic tendencies that paralyze me and so instead of being “the best” I am actually nothing because I am too afraid to fail -I think I am special and more capable than most because of my trauma and what it has taught me. I also was born with perfect pitch and the ability to play the piano so I’ve had this pressure to “be something” forever and I don’t want to feel Like I need to do that anymore but my ego won’t let me go. How do I stop believing I have NPD or that I am evil ir a bad person for thinking I am special? I don’t know what’s wrong with me ever since I was little my mom would compare me to other kids so I think it’s hard for me to not be resentful of people who are good at the things I want to be good at since I never felt good enough. Sometimes I’ll feel okay with myself but then I’ll see someone doing the same thing as me even if they’re just as good or not as good or better it doesn’t matter I still ge this feeling inside of anxiety and jealousy and shame and doubt it makes it impossible for me to be happy for them but I want to be I am supportive to my friends and family on the outside because I don’t want do hurt anyone or make them feel how I do but I don’t know Sincerely, The black sheep scapegoat Edits: -how do I stop needing so much validation for everything I do? -how do I stop engaging in self destructive behaviors? -how do I just ask for what I want without feeling like I need to make up an excuse or lie in order for my needs to be valid? -how do I stop wanting to be better than everyone else so I am not rejected ever again? -how do I not care if I’m rejected?

Sometimes I notice my intrusive thoughts cause me to spiral and sometimes not. I've been practicing ERP for quite a while so it's a bit easier for me to not spiral. But I wonder why that happens. Does anyone else have it? Also I'm on medication idk if that plays a role.