- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 27w ago
How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
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How do I know if a “bad feeling” about a relationship is an inner knowing or ocd lies???
I'm Christian and I struggle with being close to god a lot but lately I just feel like I will never near a full relationship with god because of this not only that my heart physically hurts because I think about how I want god to allow me to get married and have kids but I don't think that's his will for me I feel like it will never happen and my heart hurts thinking about it and even if god does allow that blessing to come my way l'm afraid I'm going to end up hurting my husband or committing adultery and I'm afraid how he would react to my past and old relationship and ocd I don't think it will ever go away not because I don't think god is powerful enough I know he is I just think he wants that to be my story for the glory of his name and because it keeps me close to him idk I just my heart hurts thinking about not being married and not having kids but l'm trying to accept that in case that isn't his will for me it just really hurts my heart physically
OK, so I am 99.9% my boyfriend will be popping the big question this July (finally! How exciting!) and of course, I should be soooo happy and excited but I am so worried about my OCD triggering and having my mind make up some lies to convince me I don’t deserve him etc, anyone have any advice for this? Anyone who recently got engaged? How did it go for y’all? I am 30 years old and and my partner is 34! love of my life.
I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month now we met on hinge and he told me from the jump that he wants to find a wife etc which took the stress off me having to ask since I want the same etc. We’ve only been on 4 dates and only see each other once(on the weekend) a week because I work full time and have school after work every day. He’s 33 and I’m 30 btw. I’m not sure if he’s bringing this up because he has an issue with me going to school but basically he brought up the fact that we haven’t had sex yet and wants to see where I’m at with that. I said I like to go slow and that I don’t think 4 dates is long enough for me to do that with someone I really wanna make sure he’s the right person for me/he means what he says etc. so is this a red flag that he is already thinking that it would be an appropriate time for sex? I need your opinions thanks :)
hey, do you guys ever as yourselfs if its OCD or not with SOOCD? because I really feel like this theme is different... I have had other themes (health OCD and harm OCD) but got over them quickly compared to SOOCD. My issue with SOOCD is that it started at a really young age for me... and I watched videos about girls realising they're bi ou gay (yes I did and it was super trigerring) and it felt like I could relate on some level? But then some of my very straight friends also told me they could relate? I'm so lost and sooo stressed and honeslty I just want to be happy no matter what the outcome is I just dont want to be hiding my true self because of society. But then at the same time, I've been with my bf for 6 years and I feel like I really love him but every year we have this big conversation whether I believe this is real true love or platonic love and if we have to break up... and I always ask him if he feels something off about me (because apparently partners can know) and I always notice that whenever I'm busy at work or with friends I actually feel fine even tho the thoughts are still here.... but I'm also just scared that its comphet (yes I searched that too and got triggered). My therapist told me to live day by day and it has been great doing that but sometimes when I'm with my friends and they talk about love or the future etc I feel like I cant really relate but if I imagine it with a women (I know this is testing but it happens) it feels more intense and deep? I dont understand anything anymore so please if someone is going through that let me know! I'm 26 btw and I just dont want to be doing a mistake that's gonna ruin multiple lives later on! PS : did anyone whatch Bridgertion season 3? (Spoiler Alert!!) Francesca's story line really really triggered me! like I even imagined being fransceca and felt like I could fall in love with that women just by looking at her (and I dont believe that's possible in reality so I dont get it) Thanks for your help!!
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Read my Relationship OCD story →I’m Christian and I struggle with being close to god a lot but lately I just feel like I will never near a full relationship with god because of this not only that my heart physically hurts because I think about how I want god to allow me to get married and have kids but I don’t think that’s his will for me I feel like it will never happen and my heart hurts thinking about it and even if god does allow that blessing to come my way I’m afraid I’m going to end up hurting my husband or committing adultery and I’m afraid how he would react to my past and old relationship and ocd I don’t think it will ever go away not because I don’t think god is powerful enough I know he is I just think he wants that to be my story for the glory of his name and because it keeps me close to him idk I just my heart hurts thinking about not being married and not having kids but I’m trying to accept that in case that isn’t his will for me it just really hurts my heart physically
I am currently in mainland Europe instead of the UK, as my girlfriend’s (who lives here) father just passed away. So I cannot do the usual NOCD sessions while I am here. She has been my main source of support during this awful disease. But now she is obviously facing her own very difficult time. I feel terrible seeking support - sometimes reassurance from her. I have been doing ERP 3x a day to make an effort to keep my OCD at bay. This is making me extremely depressed and I don’t know how to keep going. I am so worried I am being too much for her. The theme of my ocd is ROCD but can vary and has varied in the past. I love her more than anything and it’s killing me that I’m so dependent on her especially in this difficult time.
I feel like often I care much more than the average person does about relationships with people I meet. Like for some reason there’s just an insane drive inside me to get REALLY close to everyone, even if I don’t really like them. Sometimes, if I don’t feel like I am getting close to somebody I start to panic (which I don’t understand). After having falling outs or just drifting apart I have a really hard time letting go, or if I think/speak negatively of a person I no longer talk to it feels like I’m betraying them even if I have no desire for that person to be in my life and fully believe what I am saying! I thought maybe it’s related to obsessing about morality but I really don’t know. I was just curious if others ever felt this way.
So recently me and this guy broke up but not on good terms. He basically slowly stopped responding to me and eventually ghosted me. I’ve already sent him a message about how I felt and then blocked him. But I just can’t get over him. I thought he was going to be the one because he seemed like prince charming until this happened. For anyone out there that wants to answer, how did you get over someone you were really into? I can’t stop thinking about him and wondering why he did what he did. I remember noticing his replies getting slower and asked him if everything is okay and he said yes. And that he’s very interested in me. I don’t understand how you can ghost someone you’re interested in. When I am interested I want to talk to them all day everyday.
I’m growing more open about my journey through ERP, and I had a significant moment I would like to share with this wonderful community. Back in August, I saw one of my favorite artists (NF, whose music touches on his mental health/OCD) live, for the first time. The day after the concert, I wrote in my OCD journal how sad I was that the concert was over (because during the concert, I felt free, and present, and not thinking about my disorder). I also wrote “Part of me knows as I keep doing ERP, I’ll have more happy & free moments.” On Saturday, I saw him live again. And the immense difference in my recovery between August through now, is a lot. Shortly before the August concert, I had a big backdoor spike, and I was spiraling. 6 days after the concert, I left an abusive relationship of 13 years. As we all experience, major life changes can really make your OCD harder. I was struggling mentally and emotionally over the breakup, which caused some new ocd thoughts to come up. I was resentful, tired, depressed, angry over how unfair it was to have to navigate a disorder on top of navigating a life change. I had to learn to rely on my support system, to accept help, and to really dig in to self-compassion. I sought a second therapist to process my breakup, while still seeing my NOCD therapist, so it was double the mental load. And now, despite all the hard times, I am stronger, 10 months later. And I am having so many more happy & free moments, and that’s because of my own grit and hard work, but also because of ERP. I love where I’m at in my life, for the first time. And this is after another spike a few months ago, and a depressive period in December. I went to the concert on Saturday with my best friend. I drove us there, when I couldn’t drive more than 20 minutes on the freeway last year without panicking. I was going to avoid driving over a bridge that scared me, but I went over it, not knowing if I was going to fling us off the road. I have never driven that bridge before, but I got tired of fear taking over. I was present over the weekend, and I loved hearing the music live. I wish I could say I’m healed™️, my OCD is gone, no more hard struggles. Of course, that’s not reality. Truthfully, I’m struggling this week-my job is insanely stressful, I’m tired, and I don’t have control over my workload. But this isn’t causing me to spiral like it would have before. ERP has helped me see that I can go through all my hard times. Do I hate hard times? Yes. Am I always hopeful and positive? Nope. But I share this to show that the hard times, the difficult exposures, aren’t always going to feel insurmountable. You’ll learn to navigate life with OCD, and it’s never too late for that life to be where you want. I’m in my 30s. I was diagnosed 2 years ago. And finding joy at this point in my life, when I couldn’t picture it for the longest time, is everything. And this is what gives me hope. Thank you for reading ❤️
I had confession ROCD. i have confessed many small lies or stupid things i did at the very beginning of my relationship. i told him about one guy who i kissed in the past reaching out to me a year ago. i know that i told my bf this. yesterday, i thought about it again and my confession ocd made me re-tell him in case i forgot any details. well apparently he didn’t remember me telling him and he did not talk to me for 6 hours. now i just remembered another friend who used to flirt with me who texted me around that time. i genuinely don’t really remember if he ever texted me when me and my bf were actually dating. maybe once or twice. but it was around that time i stopped being friends with him. i KNOW i told my boyfriend about this. i remember having a convo w my bf about him. but, now i’m worried he forgot about it. or i’m worried i forgot to mention maybe his text was flirty, or maybe i got the timeline wrong when i told my bf. i feel like i need to re-tell him in case i missed anything, but i know it will cause another huge fight and we still haven’t fully recovered from the last fight. however, when he called me this morning i had a panic attack because i feel like i’m lying to him.
I got engaged in December and will be marrying my best friend next year. We've been together a little over five years, and I know he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. However, my SO-OCD and ROCD are making it very hard to enjoy my engagement. I seem to be triggered by everything, but it's especially bad this month. I'm so sad because this didn't start until I watched the bathroom coming-out scene from Stranger Things in 2022 and fell down this rabbit hole. I don't know what to do because the thought of being with a woman literally gives me nightmares, but the thoughts are still there and are so loud. I just want to enjoy my life with my soon-to-be husband, but this is making it so hard.
ever since my rocd started nothing w my bf has felt the same. i constantly overthink my feelings and if ive lost feelings or if ive just lost the spark and am unable to regain it. sometimes i look back at old texts and pictures and remember how it used to make me feel when i didnt struggle with my rocd and i cant even resonate w that feeling anymore despite wanting to so badly. of course i do not want to lose feelings and any indication that i do feels like the end of the world to me. but every single day i continue to fixate on trying to feel something genuine in the moment or just how i feel about him overall and i can't feel what i want to feel which simply continues my ocd cycle. it makes me notice other people too who i dont even want to notice and i cant tell how much of it is ocd bcs some of it feels like it comes before my ocd thoughts hit. and even on my best days when i'm not struggling it's still there and whatever i do feel, i think it's forced or not the same. i want some hope that i'll eventually be able to go back to how i used to be or that it'll start to feel gwnuine and like the butterfly inducing crush i used to have on him all the time. can someone please give me some advice i'm losing hope and i'm having a severe episode :(
My boyfriend has had serious money problems and he has confessed it to me, and he feels so low that he thinks of breaking up with me because this money problem is hitting me too. I don't know what to do. I feel so hurt because I know he doesn't want to do it deep down. Please can someone give me some words of wisdom I'm already spiraling
My adult son is suffering so much. He is basically non-functioning. He can’t get a job, focus on his college classes, or do much around the house because of his intrusive thoughts. He doesn’t want to hang out with his friends because his intrusive thoughts make him think he wants to be with them sexually. He refuses to take medicine or go to therapy because he is afraid that it will somehow prove that he doesn’t have OCD. He relies on me 100% to help with his OCD. It’s not working. He suffered for four years not knowing what it was, then finally broke down and told me about it about nine months ago. He stopped doing all drugs (he was self medicating). He’s an adult and can refuse treatment, but any advice about how I can encourage him to at least try would be greatly appreciated. Note: he did try Zoloft for a month and said it made his anxiety better which made him worry even more. Thanks.
Hi everyone. I’ve been in my relationship for over 2 years and love him so much. I have had ocd since I was 13 where i did therapy to learnt to manage the intrusive thoughts and was good for about 7 years up until about a month ago. My boyfriend hasn’t experienced me in this state of distress because my ocd was so under control and now im in a spiral. It’s causing me to think that my boyfriend won’t want to be with me or doesn’t want to have to deal with this until I get better. This spiked today because I was invited to go out with him and his family to meet one of his aunts for the first time and really wanted to but my thoughts stopped me from doing so. He then was sending me pictures of him having a good time which i am so happy that he is, but i want to be there too and he wants me to be there as well. I’m just really scared that this is disorder is what’s going to cause my relationship to end when it was going so well. We have so many events to look forward to in the future and I feel like I can’t even enjoy thinking about them.
So I have been 5 days without intrusive thoughts which is a big accomplishment for me. Yesterday broke the streak. I was job shadowing and this girl i thought was so skinny and pretty how does she not have a boyfriend and i thought I was a dude i wouldn't turn my head away and now I'm thinking no one has said this before and that this means something. I know it's my ocd acting up but it's annoying. Plus it also tried to say in a narrative that sounded like me that I would date her and i immediately felt disturbed which just again told me everything about who I am sexually as a confident and comfortable straight woman
Hey guys so I just got broken up with in the last week. I’ve always had really bad ocd and self harm thoughts. When my bf and I moved into together I was so happy and he understood how to help me with my ocd. I didn’t have bad thoughts for the full 8 months we were together! And then we broke up bc I found out a lot of things he was lying about. I’m living back home again, single and all of my bad thoughts and urges are back again, I don’t know how to make it stop. Living with him is the FIRST time I’ve had these thoughts go away. Now everything is bad once again. If anyone has any advice that could help I’d appreciate it.
should I feel guilty for being in a relationship while struggling with my sexual identity and the soocd that comes along with it? what if I'm not actually attracted to men AND women/non binary people, but just women??? am I wasting mine and his time by trying to work through this while being with him? I've talked to him about this and he says he doesn't want to leave me and supports me no matter what conclusion I could come to, but I'm terrified that I'll come to a conclusion that means I have to leave him. I'm so scared, I want to be with him and have a life with him, but what if this is comp het and saying I'm unlabeled is denial or an excuse??? I love pride month but it just seems like the reason why this subtype has come back full force. any advice would be great 🧡
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