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In order to continue treatment, I need to find a therapist who shares in the Christian faith and is also a believer, please put me in contact with someone like this. Thank you.

Changing plays a part on ALL your senses. 1. Emotional Attachment Past experiences, especially those tied to love, loss, or trauma, often carry strong emotions. These feelings can linger and make it hard to move forward, especially if the past felt safer or more meaningful than the present. Stop fully investing in anyone (new) in 2003. 2. Unresolved Issues When something from the past remains unresolved — like unanswered questions, regrets, or unfinished business — the mind tends to revisit it, trying to make sense of it or find closure. Solved it all. say my peace , straight then ✌🏽. Key: all parties must take ownership of their part. And admit the truth that they don't want to see, or feel the pain from. My growth and healing does NOT depend on them. Sorry 3. Identity and Self-Perception People often define themselves by their past. If someone has built their identity around a particular experience or relationship, letting go can feel like losing a part of themselves. Partially agree. I do not identity with my past in that way. I was a runner so I wouldn't have to. 👎🏽✌🏽 4. Fear of the Unknown The future is uncertain, and the past is familiar. Even if the past was painful, it can feel safer than stepping into something new and unknown. WAS TRUE but from age 14 until not I am over it. Sometimes change is serenity and I love ❤️ that. 5. Guilt or Shame Some people hold on to the past because they feel guilty or ashamed about something they did or didn’t do. That emotional weight can make it hard to forgive themselves and move on. From a teenager to now, I have learned that my same stemmed from me being raised in church and hearing Bible verses in Mt head when I was deciding what was bad or good. Right or wrong in my parents eyes. It spent a lot of my adult young age years dealing with my morals and beliefs. Trying to be "good" and trying not to be a 'Statistic". At about 28, I threw those towels in. Because no matter what I did good people still labeled you. So I flipped a bird and decide that I didn't need anyone to reassurance me about nothing because I already know who I am. If they don't believe me then who gives a ahit, I dont. 6. Nostalgia and Idealization Sometimes, people romanticize the past, remembering it as better than it actually was. This idealization can make the present feel disappointing in comparidon't. I remember the buttlefies, and puppy dog tails because I want to. I also remember the perspectives for each of my siblings. The thing about it all is I had to force them to admit to the good stuff. They were old, so as a younger kid, it was like pulling teeth to get them to admit to the fun stuff. My problem with that is why hold onto ALL NEGATIVE SHIT AND NO POSITIVE? That by itself is miserable AF and I don't do things to myself like that. So when my family said your were a kid, your weren't even paying attention. I would bust their head by reciting what I knew and understood about each one of them. What mom had said in a problem directly to them, how she told them to fix, what they ask dad about and what he said know to, and who got mage at him and held it against him until he died. I felt the shit when you went through knuckle head... because I was there. I seen all yall tears, fears, AND brawls. Just because I wanted to smile didn't mean I did understand your scars. I believed in family and I also believe in love. I believe that good alway win. So I took that path. Shit was not that bad any, not she died and we all was separated. They do know the half... why because they would have hold some of the responsibility. The end 😝 You pass don't determine you. It's just a peace you. Those who don't want to let go of YOUR PAST, leave them there. And keep moving forward. Being there, done that and dues are paid. Thanks

had a rough day. my religion ocd has been taking over my relationship with God and its been scaring me and giving me anxiety. i had a breakdown after a bible study with my friends i’ve made at school… and i had to go to the bathroom to have a moment and one of the girls that’s rlly close with God came in because i asked my guy friend to call for her. since it’s a worship type of group ive joined and i just cried. i’ve also felt so exhausted with academic stuff and it’s been tuff i felt like a whole burn out and stuff. especially listening to worship music i feel this type of vibe like i don’t like it. and it makes me have anxiety and doubt my relationship with God. i use to be so hidden but now i’m slowly opening towards people. i’ve had thoughts like “what if i don’t believe in God” or “what if i don’t wanna have a relationship with God” or “why does this feel like a job?” or “what if i’m lying to myself and i actually don’t want to pray” or like “i’m so tired of praying” and i just had this wave of tiredness and anxiety. i think it’s also i’m so scared to give my life to God because i don’t know what’s gonna happen.

my intrusive thoughts have controlled me ever since i was young. i’ve had constant fears of my loved ones dying in horrific car accidents and being unable to come home from work at night, passing away in their sleep, cancer, etc. and i’ve always thought that praying (when i still identified as christian) and doing things in a “right way” (strict routines, repeating the same task three times no more/less, so on…) would save them. for a while, i was okay with not doing these things. i was okay with sitting with the uncertainty and letting my mind think “so what?” if those things happen because i felt safe enough to do so. but im afraid to say that during the summer, my worst fears came true—my intrusive thoughts seemed to come true. my boyfriend of years quite literally died and came back to life and i dissociated for those couple of weeks until my body finally let me register what happened. i was so afraid and scared and i felt my body get physically sicker as the days went on. not to compare my mental traumas with his, of course, i just don’t think i ever fully got over what happened. he is still alive now which i am always so thankful everyday for and i am learning to love our life together instead of grieving it like i did previously. while it’s never fully gone away, my compulsions have come back to haunt me again. i keep seeing things around me and taking it as a sign that he’s going to die again, and im even more convinced because he had another scare today and i couldve lost him again. i keep sobbing just about everyday and i cant stop crying because there’s nothing i can do to save him. i keep grieving him even when he’s still here and when we can’t talk for even an hour i begin to worry. i start to rearrange my room because i think it’ll save him. i try to text him every second like it’s some sort of spell because if i don’t maybe he’ll never wake up. i remake my bed three times because if i don’t then he’ll never wake up. im afraid to talk to my friends about this because i think im a nuisance and speaking it into existence will become real. i cant keep grieving him when he’s not even gone. even when he’s here, i grieve him. i want to be able to love him with no fear, but that’s all that consumes me. i pride myself in being able to handle these things, but this has been the worst year of my life. i don’t know how to move on and get out of this loop. does anyone have any advice? at all? anything would be really deeply appreciated.

I joined a worship fellowship group with friends at my community college it’s not a extracurricular thing but it’s someone just putting a thing together. but i can’t tell if this is my ocd. but i’m having thoughts of “what if i’m not believing God anymore?” or “what if this isn’t my ocd” or “what if i’m lying to myself and i don’t trust God and this is real” “what if this is real and i don’t wanna be close to God anymore” it’s like triggering because i’m a new christian and still learning about a lot of stuff since i just joined a group because i’m trying to get into more of Gods word. but i get scared of opening because i sin and i tend to be so hard on myself or if i see others like be christian and cuss and i’m like all suprised but idk i think im afraid of opening up in this type of stuff around christian’s that know a lot as i’m still learning… and sometimes i think my ocd will be like “ugh we have to talk about God all the time” and i’m like no no i want to… i’ve had ocd for a year now and my therapist has been in the hospital and i need to sit with it but it’s so hard bc i’m trying to figure if it’s real or not or if i’m lying to myself but i have a current second therapist rn and she’s teaching me about how rumination works and how to stop it. because i struggle with it ugh. i’m so scared this is real. i believe in God i do i just hate these thoughts why does it feel real

sorry been posting so much!! I feel like fear is holding me back. And I probably do just think I know him in my head because I don’t even feel him in general and think the opposite what scripture says even tho I don’t want to I know he’s loving obviously but never feel if and am always afraid to be condemned

So I was reading Jeremiah today cuz I haven’t really studied it before. And I feel like it was for me for having idols in my life but I don’t know how to get rid of them and if my repentance isn’t genuine cuz I always feel like I’m just gonna mess up again cuz we can’t be perfect but Christ over came sin so we can overcome too. But when I read this then I just trigger all at once what I’m doing wrong like my desires are idols probably my phone and how to I just surrender them cuz we should be doing things for the Lord and if I really love him I should just not be on my phone so much and not have hopes and dreams and be content where I am right now.

tw: abuse I feel like my early childhood experiences may have caused OCD. Most of them not really positive, involving one that was somewhat sexual but could be passed off as a brief accident (without going into detail), though even that I feel like has left a scar of some sort. I also endured neglect and unfortunately physical abuse for a really long time so I do sometimes get flashbacks of certain things and it's tragic what happened. This made me hide completely everything from my parents and not interact with them, instead being left completely alone to figure things out myself. It made me redirect to the online world where morbid curiosity led me to really disturbing stories and tales, all at an age where I wasn't really able to process it completely and instead resorted to saying "This wouldn't be me, 100%. This is disgusting.". Could this have caused my OCD? Maybe helped trigger it, not like it made it any better. I almost feel like I was watching those videos compulsively, to see whether I still react "how I'm supposed to". I was also raised in a very religious and strict household, where any deviation from the norm was considered "against God" which also is how OCD started - with me getting blasphemous thoughts and feeling like I'm going to hell over it. It's also caused a lot of internalized homophobia / transphobia where OCD told me that by being LGBTQ+ I'm immoral or that "God has left me to my own twisted desires" and that the next step is complete immorality. Hell, it even made me avoid the term "pan" and use "bi" instead because it told me "So you're open to relationships with all genders, sure, but what if you start ignoring everything altogether?", yikes. I even had transgender OCD, but the kind where you're afraid you'll suddenly become the other gender / are on your way to becoming the other gender AND that you'll be socially outcast for it. Interestingly enough, I've learned that it's nothing dangerous and I am in theory transgender - not the opposite sex assigned at birth, just outside the binary. And I can already hear OCD screaming "SO YOU'RE GONNA NORMALIZE SOMETHING BAD NEXT" - no, I won't. All the theme's I've had up until this point were characteristic of Pure OCD - always things that are seen by me as "unacceptable" or "wrong". Whether it's me having swears interjected into prayer, or worrying that I'll become trans and be outcast, or then worrying about harm ending up on sexual OCD, all revolve around me fearing that I'm not who I think I am and trying to desperately figure out whether that's the case. Anyone relate? Any advice you would have for me? I feel like this could be CPTSD / generally trauma but then I'm not qualified to say that it is with certainty. Just wanted to rant / vent.

I’m not making this post to gain any reassurance (my therapist would kill me lol) but I just need some support here as I feel so alone and lost. I’ve been in ERP for a few years now and it’s been a journey thus far. I’ve experienced many different themes but currently it’s on sexual themes and I’m being drowned by it. I have to do exposures with videos of girls making out or being sexual with each other and then basically sit with the discomfort after. My brain literally jumps all over the place all day long. It’s throwing every thing at me from shows that I watch where women who were once with men get with girls, family members that I have who are gay, it’s having me question if I love my husband or feel anything toward him anymore, I have these thoughts that I can’t get close to God because “I like women” while also having it tell me that’s it okay because gay people still follow God. The other thing that gets me is the guilt I feel with my kids. It’ll throw images of my kids at me and I cry instantly. My brain is constantly talking to itself if that makes any sense? Constantly battling itself throwing thoughts and feelings at me to prove that I’m supposedly gay and then the other part is firing back showing why none of it is true. It’s just a lot of noise all damn day ! Anyone get this?. I try to sit with it and let it just go at itself but now I’m being told that’s not what I’m supposed to do, that I’m supposed to interrupt it?. I really feel like there’s something wrong with me that this can’t just be OCD. Can anyone here share there experiences with these theme? Anyone experience my type of story? I feel like no matter what I do I can’t get out of this.

Last year, I started to get HOCD, and I didn’t know what was going on. And then a couple weeks later, my Auntie died from cancer. I couldn’t be there for her, because my mind was wrapped compulsions. And a couple of months later, I started to get Religious OCD. And I’ve been trying to do proper treatment for my OCD recovery with an other app, and 3 weeks later. I discovered that my grandmother had cancer. And yesterday, I found out that history repeat itself, because she died the following year of my Auntie’s death. First my Auntie, and now my Grandma. Why I do have OCD at times like this? Why do they have to die? Why couldn’t I be there for them? Who else is going to be next? I never wanted my Auntie or Grandmother to gone, and I never wanted OCD to get in the way. Now I really need to seek professional help with license therapists here, but I don’t know how much it’s going to cost. I know that it’s going to be expensive per session, but I do really need help.

Is anyone worried abt the rapture or is that just me if it happens or not

Does anyone feel like God doesn’t care about your desires even tho I know he does I feel like I stop praying about them because I don’t want to make it an idol and he’s not just gonna give it to me. And I feel like I can’t accept the fact he loves me and is caring and I’m not understanding his character like I’m too hard on myself and just think he wants me to suffer. Why does my mind think this way. And when I’m not doing anything Christian related I feel better sometimes but that’s the devil because he wants us to be distracted but then I don’t want to feel stressed trying to read the Bible but don’t want to make Him a checklist

I really struggle with trusting myself. I never really believe anything I say and the second I say or think anything i doubt if I actually feel that or mean it, and worry that I am lying to others/and or myself. I doubt that I experienced anything bad, I doubt my emotions and worry that I am just dramatic or seeking attention, I worry about my intentions and if they are bad or impure I worry that the thought I had must mean I am bad and then I obsess on how to be better and then I obsess over learning how to be the “best” friend, sister, person, Christian, etc. I obsess over how to be a Christian in the best way that considers all possible facts and opinions and finds the best ones that are perfectly true and that interpret God in the best/most correct way possible. I am either in full on obsession and mental compulsion/checking/research mode, or in avoidance mode trying to avoid being triggered. I notice that I obsess over how to know for sure if I have OCD, and how to know the best possible way to heal and no solution satisfies my mind because I doubt it and think there must be a better solution and maybe I didn’t consider one small detail that could change the way I should approach my brain. I worry that no matter how hard I try to do things right and be kind and good- that I will just disappoint others and myself no matter how hard I try. And when I try to accept that I am imperfect it only helps for a second because then I worry that if I stop trying to be the “best version of myself/best person I can” then that will mean I just don’t care and I will accidentally hurt people in the way my parents accidentally hurt me because they never tried to heal. I feel exhausted. I compulsively tell everyone everything I am thinking all the time. I overshare with my mom, my friends, and even my therapists and clearly on this app because I worry if I don’t it maybe means I’m lying but also sometimes even when I don’t want to overshare it feels like I can’t help it and do it against my own will. I feel like no matter how hard I try to make things better for myself and others I just end up making things worse. Then I end up feeling very numb and indifferent to the idea of life- which is so counter to my usual desire to live life to the fullest. My biggest trigger words are “lukewarm Christian”, “hypocrite”, “fake” etc because then I immediately worry those words must describe me and maybe I just don’t realize it. I spend hours going over my thoughts, feelings, experiences and researching endlessly to feel less anxious or give me the feeling that I can find a solution that will fix it- when deep down I know there is no perfect solution probably. Basically I say all this just to feel heard and so someone else maybe feels understood or seen. But I don’t want reassurance or anyone to engage with my actual fears. I’m open to any advice on how to approach this from an ERP standpoint though.

I have been struggling recently with overthinking, overanalyzing, and just random thoughts about my relationship. I overanalyze literally everything: his texts, if he shows active on Instagram but isn't texting me back, etc. We're also both Christian, so I'll get thoughts that God doesn't want me in this relationship and that He wants me to break up with him. My boyfriend isn't great about being in God's word, making me think that God wants us to break up because my boyfriend isn't a "good enough Christian." I then start to spiral, which usually involves me looking up things online like articles, podcasts, YouTube videos, etc, to confirm whether or not this is God's voice. Some other random thoughts: he (my boyfriend) is embarassed by me, he doesn't want to be with me, he's with me because it's easy, etc. (There isn't proof to these thoughts, it stems from overthinking and then just gets worse). It's mentally exhausting and can consume hours of my day simply because I get so scared. It's also just hard to let the thoughts go. Whenever I get one, it can feel so loud and urgent which is then when I start googling things or asking my boyfriend about how he's feeling. Some days are a bit calmer than others, but when there is a quiet day, I start to worry that it means something bad is going on (idk it doesn't make sense). I've been researching relationship OCD, and a lot of what I have found seems to be matching up to my experiences (I have not been diagnosed with any OCD, but have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder). I can't tell if what I am going through is relationship OCD, maybe just relationship anxiety, or if it is God telling me to break up. Any insight and/or advice to what may be going on (I understand a diagnosis cannot be given).

Have you other Christian’s delta major shift spiritually. I don’t know what’s to come but I feel heavy in my spirit and I’m kind of scared. That I’m uncertain and everyone’s emotions are very high right now.

I worry about my salvation like every second of the day I don’t know how to have a normal relationship with the one true God

As a practicing devout Catholic I am often very conflicted about determining my moral culpability and if my thoughts and actions are mortal sins. A lot feels at stake here since it’s about offending God and whether or not I need to go to reconciliation so I don’t go to hell. It doesn’t seem prudent to say “maybe, maybe not”. What am I to do?

I’m realizing that maybe my OCD gave me all the doubts about God and that’s what helped me be able to leave my religion (Christian Baptist Fundamentalist). Everyone around me never doubted as much as me or had as much skepticism (at least not out loud) and I never understood why I was so different from them. What is your experience with OCD and religion? Did it make you decide to leave? To stay? How do you feel about religion and OCD now?

Another reason why I'm not so sure if I should step away from religion is watching certain shows like Hazbin hotel because I have a favorite character and it's Alastor!!! I heard that they had a Jesus character comming up in season 2 and I did not like that cause I'm like i guess Christan or I believe in Jesus Christ and have religious based beliefs. Like I didn't like Adam cause if you seen season 1 he's pretty bad. But I like the other characters. And I think people might be getting the show mixed up. But my point is here that I feel like I shouldn't be watching this show cause people have been saying the show is blasphemy and I do not wanna commit that religious or not. I just don't wanna do that period. Like I love alastor's character but the other characters always seem to be making hell like a good place but its not!!! In every religion hell is usually seen as bad. I know it's just a tv show but I just cannot help with the thoughts. And I don't know if I should even have a favorite character from this show.

I write a long summary of ERP therapy recently. I'm going to copy and paste it here if anyone wants to read it. Love to you all 💙💙💕💕🩵🩵 If you put ERP in a nutshell, there's a couple main tenants that are REALLY important to understand. Here they are... 1.) You have to treat the thoughts as though they don't mean anything (because, in real life, they actually don't mean anything!) 2.). You have to deny yourself any safety behaviors that you do because of the thoughts (because these are all compulsions) 3.). When you deny the safety behaviors (i.e., the compulsions), it will cause your brain and even your body to go into anxiety mode. (In other words, your brain freaks out because you feel like you did something that was NOT SAFE.) 4.). But you have to "ride out" the anxiety feelings until they subside on their own. The more you practice doing this, the easier it gets. The anxiety spikes will get smaller and smaller. Eventually, you will be able to prevent yourself from doing compulsions without feeling anxiety. ----------------------//////-------///////------- Okay, so let's talk about each of these things, one at at time. ERP can be done on your own, but it's easier with someone else's help. First things first, a therapist will sit down with you and make you write a list of all the things you are scared to do, from the least scary to the most scary. And then you will go out and practice doing those things, starting with the easiest things. Okay, let's start with #1. You have to treat the thoughts as though they don't mean anything. There's a few things that are important to understand here. Remember that I said that you have to TREAT the thoughts as though they don't mean anything. I said this because you are always going to have doubts and fears. You are always, at some level, going to half-way believe that that your thoughts actually have meaning. But that's okay! You don't have to believe this fully. You only have to ACT as though they don't mean anything. OCD is called the "doubting disease" for a reason. For every decision you make, you will always have doubts. And that's why recovery from OCD means that you have to learn how to "take the leap" and go forward EVEN THOUGH the doubts are still there. I can assure you that the thoughts don't mean anything. And you can mostly believe it. But even if you don't believe it fully, you have to make the decision that you are going to ACT as though they don't mean anything. In order to recover from OCD, everyone has to change their relationship with their thoughts. Everyone starts out afraid of their thoughts. They believe that their thoughts are DANGEROUS and that there is some connection with their thoughts to the outside world. This is the big trap of OCD. But we all have to learn that the thoughts mean nothing. However, we also have to learn that WE CANT STOP the thoughts. And we should not try. We have to stop fighting off the thoughts. We have to learn to ALLOW the thoughts while at the same time doing nothing about them. I'm going to copy and paste something that I wrote previously: -------////////--------------////////-----------//// The key is to STOP fighting off the thoughts. You need to just accept that they are in your head, and that they are MEANINGLESS—and it doesn’t matter if they are there or not. This is very important for OCD recovery. ERP therapy trains us to never fight the thoughts. If you try to fight them off, they’re just going to get worse. My therapist explained it like this: Imagine a tree planted by river. The leaves from the tree fall off and float down the river. You watch the leaves fall, but you don’t try to stop them. You just let them float down the river. This is the same with ALL intrusive thoughts. It doesn’t matter if these are bad thoughts about God, violence, sex, attractions, etc. All intrusive thoughts are the SAME. You just let them fall off the tree and float down the river. Here’s another analogy: Imagine a swarm of angry bees around someone’s head. The bees can’t really bite or sting, but they are very annoying as they swarm around the person’s head. They’re not really harmful to the person, but they are disturbing just because they are there. This is the same thing as the intrusive thoughts. They can’t really harm anything, and they don’t have any real power. But they are distracting and disturbing because they are there. If you take a stick and try to fight them off, they’re just going to swarm around even worse and get even stronger. It doesn’t work to try to fight them off with a stick. They will always keep swarming. In the same way, we can’t fight off the intrusive thoughts. It’s impossible. Besides, the thoughts are meaningless, and they can’t hurt us anyway. So don’t try to fight them off. Here’s one more analogy: Imagine your little brother is always saying mean things to you. Sometimes he shout means things; sometimes he whispers mean things; sometimes he shows you ugly pictures that he has drawn. He’s always trying to tease you and always trying to get you upset, and he’s always saying horrible things to you. If you shout at him to stop doing it, he’s just going to do it more. You have to accept that you can’t stop what he says. But if you ignore him and don’t give him any response and don’t get upset , he will eventually get bored and stop trying so hard. It’s the same with the intrusive thoughts. You can’t stop them. But if you get upset every time they come into your head, you are giving them power. You OCD (like a little brother) is going to feed you more of the things that “rile you up.” But if you don’t get upset and don’t care if these things are coming into your brain, then you can go about your life as normal. In this way, you are showing that these thoughts really have no power over you. Your OCD will try to trick you into giving “meaning” to the thoughts by saying maybe you will like them or maybe you will accept them, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah. Don’t listen to the OCD. Practice strict ERP no matter how you feel and no matter how the OCD tries to tell you the danger you’re in if you start ignoring the thoughts. The truth is the thoughts don’t mean anything, so you can ignore them. You can’t make them go away (like the bees), but you can give them no power by acknowledging that they are meaningless. -----///////--------///////---------//////-------///- Okay, let's talk about #2. You have to deny the compulsions. When you boil them down, all compulsions are SAFETY BEHAVIORS. They are designed to negate the thoughts and keep you safe. It's important to remember that AVOIDANCE can be a safety behavior. For example, if you avoid saying certain words because you don't know the intentions behind it, then you are actually doing a compulsion. In ERP therapy, you have to practice denying the compulsions. However, you don't do this all at once. That is way too scary, and no one can handle that. Instead, you start with the very easiest compulsions. It's also important to know that many compulsions can be inside our heads. In my case, I had all these terrible sentences in my head toward God. And I thought I had to put a "not" next to every sentence in my head in order to "negate" the sentence. And I was exhausting myself trying to remember every sentence and make sure I put a "not" next to them in my head. I was doing these compulsions all day, every day, hundreds of times a day. I remember the day that I first stopped doing this compulsion. I stopped fighting the sentences in my head, and just let them "run" freely. It was a huge step for me. Now, I am no longer a slave to these sentences at all. Remember to not get discouraged if the treatment takes longer than you expect. The OCD journey tends to take a long time, with baby steps, and lots of circling back and starting over, lol. Just remember that this is part of the process. -------///////--------////////--------///////-----// Okay, let's talk about #3: The Anxiety Episodes When you deny compulsions, it feels unsafe. It feels like you are going to die or that someone you love is going to die. It feels like the consequences are huge, like the end of the world or some terrible disaster. Let me give you an example. When I feel like I did something "unsafe," I can usually pass over it and realize that I am okay. I have had years of practice doing this. But every once in a while, when I deny a compulsion, it feels so UNSAFE that I spiral into an anxiety pit. It can take hours, days, or weeks before I feel better. What you have to understand is that this is a NORMAL part of the recovery process. It seems strange to say this, because the episodes feel so awful. But in order to defeat OCD, we actually have to practice putting ourselves though the terrible anxiety that always accompanies "breaking the OCD rules." ---------///////---------//////-------------///--- And lastly, let's talk about #4: You have to "ride out" the anxiety episodes. There's no way to defeat OCD without pain. It takes a lot of work. But if you put the work in, you can get to the other side and start living the life you have wanted to live! So, it's important to understand this going in to journey. It's going to take a lot of work. It's going to take "pain" in the sense that you are going to make yourself experience these awful anxiety episodes. However, this is the only way to recover. But you have to take it slowly. Start with the simple things. And then take baby steps. If you don't, you will be overwhelmed and it won't work. Let's put this into an example. Let's say Jake has OCD, and he is afraid of crossing bridges. First, the therapist will ask him to just THINK about a bridge. If that causes anxiety, then Jake can practice thinking about bridges and then accept the anxiety that comes. The next session, the therapist might ask Jake to sit next to a bridge. This might cause even more anxiety. Jake has to practice sitting next to the bridge and "riding out" the anxiety that comes. The next time the therapist might ask Jake to put one foot on the bridge--and so on. The point is that at each step, Jake is successful at the required task, and he allows himself to experience the waves of anxiety that come. Yes, anxiety is like a wave. It has a peak, and then it slides downward after that. No one can stay in full anxiety mode forever. So we have to train ourselves to allow the anxiety to run its course. Eventually, it will get better. And the more we practice, the anxiety peaks will get smaller and smaller. And eventually, we won't have anxiety at all when we deny our compulsions. Okay, feel free to write back and talk to me about what you think. :):) I aways enjoy talking to people on this app.