- Username
- IloveDieguito
- Date posted
- 28w ago
SO OCD is getting bad again. Telling me that I'm attracted/like girls when I know I don't but it's bothering me:( I don't want this again
Kickstart your recovery journey with a caring community of others
working to conquer OCD
SO OCD is getting bad again. Telling me that I'm attracted/like girls when I know I don't but it's bothering me:( I don't want this again
Does anyone else get trigger when you see other Sexual Orientation OCD sufferer saying that they're scared of being gay for the most stupid reasons, and here you are dealing with false atraction or even some sense of crush and groinals, and when you read those stupid reasons why other people think they might be gay you are like, that's OCD and mine it's not really OCD
idk how to even make this make sense but i’m gonna try so i think i’ve convinced myself that im like afraid of more feminine men??? especially straight ones. like i was watching a tik tok of this guy who i would consider pretty feminine and he was talking abt his girlfriend and all of a sudden i just felt really weird??? and today i saw a more feminine guy holding hands with a girl walking around town and got that same feeling again. idk what’s even wrong. i don’t think it’s bad for guys to be feminine at all. if anything im glad people are able to express themselves the way they want. i’ve mentioned in my others posts that im scared of being a lesbian bc that means i won’t like my bf and i think im forcing myself to think im like hyper straight and super feminine and maybe im pushing that onto how i view other people?? like i think that if i look or act even a little bit lesbian then i am. but how does one even look or act lesbian?? anyone can be a lesbian!!! now i’m worried that if my bf does something more feminine i won’t like him. i feel so stressed sexuality literally does not matter why am i freaking out!!!! as long i like love him and he loves me nothing is wrong and it’s not wrong for other people to love who they love either!!! sorry if this absolutely made no sense i tried to explain it the way im feeling it. i’m scared that im like being homophobic or something but im not!! i genuinely think love is such a beautiful thing and that you should get to be with whoever you’re attracted to even if it’s a feminine man (which there’s nothing wrong with at all) i just don’t know why these feelings don’t align with my views. im sorry
Its a very anxious night for me as a parent. I went to tuck my child in and i worried with groinal responses i still hugged my child goodnight than worried did i brush up or lean toward them inappropriately and then she was sad i was leaving. I wanted another hug so i hugged her again and ocd tried saying i had bad intent. Its so exhausting fighting ocd as a parent in distress
OCD Journey Stories
Promoted
OCD is a bittersweet reminder of your morals and values, accept and embrace it.
By Shaun Flores
Read my Sexual and Gender OCD story →I hate pocd so much… I hate it so much. I just want to be happy but this will never let me be happy. Idk if i only have pocd but my mind makes me think that i’m attracted to anyone I get close to. My mind doesn’t care how inappropriate it is. I hate this so much. I live with my family and I never go out. I’m stuck here with my thoughts and the people who trigger the thoughts. I hate saying that I feel so disgusting. I feel like a horrible disgusting person. I wanna live a happy life but I know itll never happen. I don’t want to kill myself but I wish I could just die. I just want it all to end. I don’t understand what caused this. Why me. I do believe that I can be a bad person sometimes. I’m so rude to my mom and I have a bad temper and no patience. I hate myself for it and I always try to blame my dad because he acted that way my whole childhood. What if this is my karma. I hate this so much. I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up without an ocd thought. Sometime I think about taking medication but i’ve seen people struggle with choosing the right one. And I’ve seen people taking them still struggle. This will truly never end. What if while taking medication the thoughts are still there and it was never ocd. Im so scared.
Does anyone ever experience their OCD themes shifting extremely quickly? This has been going on for the past few months. I keep flicking through health concern, contamination, psychosis and sexual orientation.
my brain keeps on trying to convince me I’m gay. Why do I care so much?? I’ve been sure of who I am for all my life, but ever since that thought that I could be something else appeared in my head. It’s ruined me completely, I’ve lost attraction to my preferred gender and overthink everything when talking to the same gender. I know pick about everything I’m feeling and ruminate on the past for evidence. I’ve always saw myself being with a man and having kids with a man. But now I guess my ocd (maybe it’s just denial idk) Is telling me I never wanted that and it was society or whatever. It makes me extremely uncomfy and very anxious. When I think about being gay that doesn’t feel right neither does being straight anymore since this theme. I just want to be normal again I hate this. I feel like I’ll never be in a relationship again ever because of this.
Hey guys so I was having really bad anxiety and asked my bf to hug me because I felt anxious and then he just started full on kissing me and looking up with me and I felt like I hated it and felt SEVERE anxiety. I feel like I truly am a lesbian, does intimacy or kissing make some of You guys anxious?? Im spiralling
I’m so scared all the time that maybe i am just in denial. The voice started one day and it never leeft. Whenn i was at my happiest in my relationship all i could hear was a voice being like ur a lesbian, u don’t even like men, everything is fake, nothing was real u just didn’t know it. Then we broke up and all the voices went away and i was devastated because i missed him. Fast forward 2 years we made it work again and i was so happy and now i’m happy the voices are back. But when i’m with him they go away a little, i naturally gravitate toward touching him and being around him and being turned on but then when i’m alone my head is like none of it was real, you hated it, you’re a lesbian, you only like women, you’re. not attracted to men anymore. Is this normal for SOCD? or am i just in denial? i’ve only ever dated men, and i’ve really loved my partners, being intimidate has never been hard. I don’t know what to do. It’s all i think about all day when i’m alone.
If my OCD is trying to convince me I’m gay due to past compulsions. Every time I have that through I now repeat in my head that I’m straight several times to battle it. If I continue to do that am I just creating a compulsion??
hey has anyone ever had like groinal responses but it always happens at weird times? Like when someone is fighting, when ur mad, or when ur stressed out. i’m scared i get turned on by bad things happening. my parents just fought and my mind keeps trying to tell me that them doing that makes me happy and then i got a groinal response. really struggling with this lately.
My Ocd turns everything innocent and normal into something horrible. Sometimes when my daughter and I are watching tv she will want to play with and brush my hair. It feels so nice and relaxing or she will cuddle up and rub her feet on mine which is relaxing and makes me feel sleepy but ocd ruins it by telling me it’s inappropriate and that i’m enjoying something inappropriate. One day I saw a snapchat video my young grandson made of himself just out of the shower looking at himself shirtless in the mirror and I was thinking that he thinks he’s so cool and is probably going to flex like all boys do and laughed to myself but then the ocd kicked in and said that I was attracted to him and it made me so upset because I never have and don’t think of any child in that way. I don’t feel that way so how can ocd try to make me believe that I do?? How can ocd be more powerful than my own actual thoughts and feelings? This disorder is so debilitating and upsetting. I can’t live like this.
I need to talk to someone, I basically believe that almost all I have experience to this point with my HOCD until now it was just OCD tricks and bullshit, but I have this one memory that it's killing me cause it happened before the HOCD, and it's me having a feeling like I could actually crush on a dude, I just had it for one moment one night, I'm not sure why, but I did had it, and this was before I had HOCD, I'm also pretty sure it's not a false memory and I don't know what to do
Guys I’m super confused. I know I’ve posted about this before, but I feel like I may be on the asexual spectrum, but then it’s giving me a lot anxiety. Why? I can’t get used to the label, but I think it makes sense? But it doesn’t feel right. I don’t know if it’s the desire to be straight as that is how I’ve always identified. Idk. I feel very distressed. Hocd does not make this easier. I’m 16. Any advice or ways to be calm? X
Im just so confused about the attraction. I feel like i’ve never really felt sexual attraction towards someone, or maybe i did i just dont remember. I personally dont really think im asexual. Maybe this is reassurance seeking but how does real attraction, or sexual attraction feels like? Im scared that my admiration for woman was actually attraction?😔 even though i had no sexual or romantic fantasies or desires with them. I can tell if a woman is pretty or attractive but i’ve never had any desire to date one. And it scares me. Like what if i’ve never been attracted to a guy? I dont even remember how does it feels like. Im so fu*ked up, like im 20 years old, my last crush was when i was 13 on a guy (even that my ocd makes me doubt) and i have these thoughts since 14. It got me in this early age when everyone around me were experiencing crushes and i DID NOT.
I first began NOCD therapy in crisis mode. I had been stuck in SO-OCD since 2022 and there came a point where I would have to do deep breathing exercises before my best friend’s bridal shower because I feared intrusive thoughts and feelings during the event. After spending two years in talk therapy, mentally and emotionally stuck in rumination and isolation, I made a desperate call to NOCD after a morning walk riddled with racing thoughts and tears. I began ERP therapy with Emily and in the beginning, there were many tears and anxiety over finally confronting the thoughts, images, and needing to develop new strategies instead of compulsions. Starting medication was the final boost I needed to succeed in my ERP homework and developing new neural pathways to combat OCD. The total war approach of therapy, medication, and taking each day as it comes has given me life again. I used to check my eyes because they would be puffy from the raging cortisol and stress. It’s been two weeks and my eyes look wide and clear again. Mental compulsions that would take hours of my day are now a blip in my brain that I can let pass and move forward with the day ahead. Thank you NOCD, Emily, Dr. Azzem and God for bringing me to life again!
how do I know the difference between having having a low sex drive versus being asexual? I saw a video about how someone found out they were asexual because they were sad or crying after/during sex. I have cried after sex with my boyfriend sometimes and I often do experience sadness/anxiety many times but I believed that maybe aftercare needs to be prioritized more and that maybe my ocd/anxiety/depression puts me in a state of low libido a lot. There are times where I begin to space out during sex or begin to have uncomfortable thoughts, and then there are times where I enjoy it in every way possible. I also believe that because me and my boyfriend are going through the process of healing betrayal and trust in our relationship that that could be a big factor as well. all of these things add up as reasons for just having a low sex drive. I've also always said that i think i could be in a relationship where i didn't have sex often if at all and I think id be okay because it isnt a priority to me. But seeing that video really made me suddenly question it and it scared me a little because I have questioned if I really know sexual attraction vs. aesthetic attraction and now I just feel scared and confused. This could change so much for my relationship and I'm just scared that the answer is something I don't want it to be. could someone please help or leave some insights?
hey everyone. i’m not sure if this app will help me or not, but i feel the need to try anything because i can’t keep living like this. i struggle with obsessing over everything in my life. it feels like everyday my brain picks a new thing in my life to obsess over. for the past couple days ive been obsessing over my interpersonal relationships. for example; “do i like the people im with” “do i like my friends as more than just friends” “do i actually love these people or am i lying to everyone”. it’s been really messing with me and making me question my support system. i can’t stop stressing. i’m even afraid to talk about it with my therapist because i have those thoughts about her too. i’m new to my OCD diagnosis (got diagnosed last month) i was hospitalized for a week because i couldn’t function. i also obsess over my sexuality and nothing i pick for me ever feels quite right. i recently started a relationship with someone who’s trans, so maybe that’s why? does anyone else go through this? my brain tries to convince me that i do this to myself and that im making it all up. but who would want to feel this way? uggghhh
Hi everyone, I’ll try to be brief. I am a 32 year old woman who has battled with intrusive thoughts since I first menstruated when I was 15. I get religious and sexual related unwanted thoughts. I have Been on and off the same SSRI since I was 18. So that’s like 12 years total that I’ve taken SSRI’s. It has saved my life because I was seriously thinking about leaving this world since I figured no one can live like this. What I wanted to ask is if any female gets the same symptoms I do before and after their period? Before my period I get really bad PMS and the worst intrusive thoughts. During ovulation I am great, then after ovulation I get anxiety and feel panic attacks wanting to creep in but they don’t. Maybe it’s because of the SSRI doesn’t let me go into full panic but I noticed this pattern. I noticed this pattern because I keep a log in a period app and noticed that I wrote things like “anxiety” before every period and after ovulation.
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
OCD doesn't have to
rule your life