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Does anyone experience physical confidence issues that might be related to OCD?

My brother and I (I’m 20, he’s 16 but he’s taller and heavier than me) used to get violent with one another. I had anger issues growing up in an angry home (our dad was just like this), and I would yell and shout a lot, and we’d get into physical fights. I’ve been a LOT better about it over the past few years especially since I moved out to college, but yesterday as I was laying on the couch healing from my wisdom teeth extraction, he started hitting me with a plushie and then wiped his boogers on it. I tried really hard to ignore him but he just kept going and going, and then i tried to leave the room but he followed me and kept bothering me. I finally slapped him, he punched me with what felt like full force in the back (causing me to tear up from the pain), and I ended up scratching him so hard that it left a big mark. He punched me in the back again really hard and I ended up just crying. I now feel really really really horrible. We talked it out and both apologized and said we loved each other. But now i’m really worried. I’m concerned that I’m an abusive monster, that I have a personality disorder, that I’ve traumatized him over the years. I don’t know if these sorts of fights are normal between siblings or if there is something seriously wrong with me. Things like this have happened before. I keep googling scary things.

Does anyone else feel resentment or scared of the holy Spirit after having Intrusive thoughts about him. I'm scared and I'm not sure what to do about it. I've been praying but I feel so insincere about it and I am scared that there is something wrong with me. I can't read the word holy Spirit without feeling angry or nervous or scared of what my mind is gonna say to him. I just want it to stop, but I also feel like I'm addicted to the bad thoughts and I am scared of myself and what to do.

so i wanted to come on here and tell you all about a break through i’ve had. i’ve been in therapy for ocd for 8 months now and i can say and confirm and it has truly changed my life. im still growing and healing, i still get thoughts, i still get my obsessions. but i can resist and ignore compulsions now. as i heal ive noticed the thoughts more, gotten nervous they might mean something. it makes you feel crazy and like your whole journey was a lie and that these have been thoughts all along that are true. i’ve been in an 8 month long relationship since january and with my ocd it has not been easy. many times i felt like i should give up because even though i love my partner, i can’t be with anyone unless im completely healed. but something in me always made me stay. i come back now in august with those same thoughts and i worried that this might that it’s the end or that he truth has come. however something stuck out to me after i read up on the matter more and gained insight. something i learned and will now always instill is that love should be freedom, and feel freeing. freeing to be you, freeing to grow. i realized quickly that ive been free to grow and explore. but ive been holding myself back. not out just of fear but of not realizing that i am my own liferaft. i hadnt begun to step into my true unblocked energy, one that knows and trusts what i need and knows that the universe, god, whatever is above will always align me in places at the right time. this of course, is a balance and not one that needs to be taken immensely serious. in fact we should be taking life less seriously. i say all this to let you all know and instill that as we step into our confidence and trust and instill the outward energy inward. rather than worrying on if they’re right for you, or if you are in the right relationship, or if you feel disconnected or lacking of connection. connect back with yourself first, you be able to understand and see that the only thing holding you back from achieving your goals and dreams with career, self, relationships and more truly lies within you. it’s uncomfortable, it’s hard and it makes us scared to loose the situations that don’t serve us. but once you connect back with the energy and trust you have for yourself, you truly begin to realize you can let people in, everyone including partners are people YOU let in your life and are simply people with other lives that you need not connect to yours in the sense of making personal decisions or dictating your mood. people don’t speak enough on what it means to heal after ocd symptoms go down. you realize it’s about getting through the thoughts to get to the root and do that inward work. it’s still something im working towards. do something you love, go for a walk, read a book, it’s uncomfortable because we’re so used to be preoccupied that when we step back into ourselves we feel like we don’t know ourselves and it’s ocd that tries to take over once again. trust in yourself, your own decision and what you want, feed your mind, and understand we’re all doing this for the first time, but you can handle because you are your liferaft, your safety and you security and peace. i promise it’s life changing. reach out if you need someone to talk to you will get through it💌💗

Answer please. Does anyone else with intrusive thoughts feel like your addicted to them. Like I can't help but feel like I need to have these intrusive thoughts. Ik it sounds weird but I feel it's true. Like I keep getting blasphemous thoughts and I feel like I need to have them. I know I do not but I can't help but feel like I do. Can OCD do this to you?

i have always kept my struggles with ocd from friends and family, except for my parents, but they don’t know everything about it either. i guess what im looking for is advice, reassurance, someone who can relate, or someone to explain what is going on with me. recently i have had a terrible problem with grinding my teeth a certain way on the left side and then the right side to make it “even” and it has become a habit. i can never put my right sock on before my left sock and i can never put my right leg in first when putting pants on… if i don’t always put my left before my right i can’t help but feel like it is a part of some sort of butterfly effect where everything will spiral if i don’t follow my normal steps. i constantly pick at my skin and my eyebrows because i can’t stand feeling unkept. i take 2 showers a day whenever i feel “dirty” and i have a very specific routine. whenever i look at windows, doors, doorframes, picture frames, tvs, or anything with an outline i count it. i count how many sides there are, how many corners there are, how many panes are in a glass window, etc. in school i have trouble focusing because i count ceiling and floor tiles. i struggle taking tests occasionally because if i read the directions or question in the “wrong tone” in my head, then i will most definitely get the question wrong and fail. this causes me to re-read over and over again until it feels right, and i end up running out of time and having to make up tests that i didn’t finish. i believe my ocd and perfectionism ultimately lead me to bad places in my mind. i struggle with standards and expectations mentally due to my ocd. i fear that i will never be understood, even by my own self. sometimes i scare myself because i get random images of people inflicting harm on others or on me. years ago when i first acknowledged my ocd, i became very depressed. i felt different in a bad way, like people could read my mind and know what was going on and think i’m a bad person. i am generally popular with people now, i am an excellent student, and i am beautiful, but i have always struggled. i have no idea how to take care of myself and i have no one with similar experiences. i just downloaded this app and i am really glad i get to rant so i hope someone listens to me and my struggles with ocd. thank you.

i had pocd when i was 11. somehow i did not realize an eleven year old cannot be a pedophile. i couldn't go to church, school, public in general. anywhere with kids. i had days where i would just spend hours crying. i thought i deserved to be executed or something. every time i see people with pocd i want to talk about my experiences, but i get terrified someone will see me saying i had it and misinterpret it. i read a story about a man in an ocd support group with pocd being shunned because people thought his thoughts were true. it was very hard for me to even post about it, out of fear someone will see it and know who i am. i was 11. 11 and i wanted to die. i'm far past it now and i want to be a mother. but it's like a shadow that follows me everywhere.

Did you have any intrusive thought that was such absurd that you can laught now about it even maybe it was really terrified for you in that moment?

Anybody else with intrusive thoughts related to religion feel like they are coming from you. Does anybody else feel numb to your thoughts and like u just don't care. I'm scared that I committed the unforgivable sin, I feel lost and scared. I can't tell my thoughts from my intrusive thoughts anymore. I can't feel any emotions to my thoughts. I'm scared God has abandoned me. I'm scared he cut me off. I'm worried about my thoughts. I feel numb and emotionless and scared. I feel scared and confused like God has Left me or something. I try to cry and I do but I feel nothing in my heart. I ask God to forgive me and soften my heart to him but I feel nothing. I'm scared that I am going to hell and be eternally separated from God. If anybody has had similar experiences or thoughts pls comment or if u even see my post pls give me advice on what to do I'm really scared and emotionless. I'm scared. I love god and the holy Spirit but idk what to do.

Hello guys. I really need advice over here, my brain feels like it's in a fog. And I'm scared. I feel really angry and upset and indifferent towards God and it scares me. I feel faithless and concerned about if God is mad at me. I feel like I'm gonna lose control and rip my head off or gonna smash my head. I keep getting urges and uncontrollable thoughts and it feels all to real. I'm trying so hard to fight and pray, but I'm on edge I have no idea what's coming next. I'm scared that I don't even have OCD. I want to be sure I have OCD. My mind keeps saying I'm using OCD as a excuse for my thoughts. I feel angry on the inside and I'm scared what does this say about me. I'm really freaking out on a internal level. Any advice or anybody who went through this pls respond.

Does anybody else get really tired, like I mean to the point we're you sometimes just don't care. I feel like that right now and it's scaring me. I don't have motivation to pray or do anything. I'm worried that all along it was me and it finally came out and now I'm done for. I still get anxious when I feel the thoughts coming but I just don't have motivation to fight them. Or to pray afterwards. Idk if any of y'all have this happen but I would love to know.

Does anyone else get really bad thoughts that attack the holy Spirit. I hope I am not the only one. These thoughts scare me because they come in all different ways they disappeared for about 4 days, and one day they came back and they are worse now than they have ever been. They keep attacking him, ever chance they get. I can't pray, go for a walk, or watch tv, or even talk to people without negativity towards him. Like my thoughts keep blaming him for everything, I can't get rid of these thoughts. What makes me sad the most is when I'm tired I can't fight them and my biggest concern is that it's coming from me. I'm worried about what the thoughts say about me. Do I mean to have these thoughts. I can't seem to be happy. I feel lost and scared that I have done something wrong to make God mad at me. My parents won't let me get therapy, I'm all alone. I'm nervous and anxious about my thoughts. And I pray but I can't find peace. I hope everyone who is going through this never has to go through this the way I am.

Hello all I'm a little bit of a wreck right now. Idk if any of y'all go through this but I would love to know I'm not the only one. My mind keeps trying to attribute all the bad things because of the holy Spirit. I would never say those things but I'm scared and confused. I'm scared I am pushing God away. Sometimes I get really scared because sometimes I don't care and it scares me. I'm nervous these thoughts are coming from me. And because of these thoughts I can't even thank the holy Spirit or feel safe. And because of these thoughts they make me doubt who I am as a person and it scares me. What if I'm asking for forgiveness and I don't mean it. What if I am doomed. Any responses would be nice I can't even cry properly anymore.

it’s always like this. I get to talk to someone, we chat, then stop chatting or get very slow replies. but I can’t complain when I said that if I don’t reply, I’m busy or dealing with stuff. everyone has their life & no one is obligated to reply to me. I have learned that I really am just alone. I don’t want to force anyone or be obsessed. this goes for online friends. I only have 4. but they haven’t replied to me in days/weeks/months maybe. honestly, this has helped me not becoming dependent and wait for a reply like I used to. I would go on worrying for a while if someone wouldn’t reply for a certain time. I wouldn’t tell them ofc but I would become anxious. as for real life, I guess I can say 1. maybe 2 but one of them was a friend from elementary and we only met up once after sophomore year of high school. we’re now in college (actually, she graduated already) & have met up with her that day. we updated each other on our lives. it was nice, but I don’t think it was the same ‘best friend’ friendship we had as kids/teens. we don’t talk anymore. (only if I view her stories on instagram and say something) the other one I could say is half online/half real life. I met him online and we met irl a month in. he’s a good guy and honestly the first person that I like as a friend. someone I can trust, I guess. not fully, but definitely can be a lot of myself around. he’s been busy with life as well. he’s not obligated to reply to me. this one, I rlly like talking to but again, life happens. so I stopped being ‘excited’ for a response. in the end, it’s just me. my pain and myself. if I can’t make any friends irl (or maybe new friends online)(don’t get me wrong, I like the 4 online friends I have. they’re dear to me. they are just busy) at the end of this year during school, I will just give up. I tried before in my previous semester but it never happened. I am just going to accept my solitude. all I want now is either to not be here (sometimes), get a bike and ride by myself, or I don’t know. I don’t find anything appealing at the moment. sometimes there will be a spark but it goes out quickly. I genuinely do not see a happy life in the future. even after I told my dad of a ‘plan’ I had to retire early and keep learning in college to feed my curiosity, I just think maybe I’m not fit for living. I’m just tired. I try. I don’t find joy in many things anymore. it’s just not interesting. I just want to crawl up in my bed (as I am now) and move to a different place. I just want peace. will it be death that I find peace? or maybe living by a lake? who knows. life needs to let me rest.

Hello all, so I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts that come against God and his spirit. And I can't tell if it's me anymore or OCD. Sometimes I'll get one bad thought about his spirit And then the thoughts just stick around scaring me And confusing me. I keep getting super hot and feel like I'm on fire. What if these thoughts are coming from me is my biggest fear and idk what to do about it. Idk who I am anymore and I'm worried that I am a bad person. What if these thoughts stick around forever and I will never recover from these thoughts. I'm having trouble excepting that they are intrusive because they scare me so bad I want to be 1000% sure I'm not offending God. But a part of me can't shake the feeling that it is me. I'm scared and nervous and I haven't slept good in almost 3 months. I'm really tired of fighting this and scared at the same time what if It was me all along and that I'm never gonna make it to heaven.

I’m struggling with major anxiety as I start school in two days due to physical symptoms like urinary urgency that’s made worse with crowded hallways at school and I’m trying to get a pass that lets me leave early from class but I’m scared of not getting it and how that will affect me I can’t stop thinking about it and I don’t really know what to do. My anxiety keeps trying to bring up the worse case scenarios and I keep feeling anxious how can I stop this??

have none of my posts been public??? is NOCD erasing them??? or are people avoiding me??? I can’t tell. someone PLEASE reply. I’m genuinely getting upset & I need help

can ANYONE see this post??? I don’t know if my posts keep getting removed or something because I still see them but don’t know if people can. if that’s true, then that sucks. but if people did see them & no one replied, I’m going to think I’m an actual evil person and will have to take action to game over myself. I don’t know if this post will be removed bc I tried to censor/reword what I wanna say. someone please, for fucks sake reply if u can see this. I feel like I’m going crazy

What do you do? When you want to leave it all because you’re afraid you’ll hurt people

How do you handle it if there’s actually a chance you did something wrong? I have bad real event/false memory, though I don’t know how many are actually false memories. Anyway, when I was 19, I had a flirty relationship with someone who was 17. We kinda did this on and off for a while and we used to text a lot. I know at a few different points, we had a sexual relationship and it often came out through text, but I can’t remember when we did certain things. I don’t know if I broke the law or something and because this is such a serious matter, I feel like I’m dying inside. I don’t know what to do, there’s no proof of it because it was a few years ago now and even if there was I don’t think I’d go back and look which makes me feel like I’m a terrible person. What if I did something awful? Can someone give me some advice? I’ve been doing really well the past few days but then this came up and knocked me off my feet. It feels like there’s a real possibility I did something and I’m so terrified.