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Am I a bad person for having a crush on a fictional killer clown like art from Terrifier??😭 like I don’t like him when he kills I just think he looks good that’s why I like him bruh. And he’s goofy when he’s not killing. 😭 am I over thinking it?! 😭 I feel like a bad person bro

My boyfriend has been spending a lot of time with a female friend, and they do homework together because they share lots of classes. He told me he doesn't see her romantically and has no plans to do anything with her other than homework. I want him to have friends, and I figure that if he talks about her, and tells me when he's with her, its not likely he'd cheat on me. I have no reason to believe that he would, he's very romantic with me and he hasn't shown signs of cheating. It's just that when he talks about making her laugh, or spending time with her, I get really nervous. And I don't know how to talk to him about it without asking for reassurance compulsively, or making him feel like I don't trust him. Any tips?

I am often so mean to myself I am trying to be just a smidge kinder and not so angry and mean to myself , I am struggling through a lot of depression and ocd and anxiety I would love some sweet words of encouragement to do the hard things , even little by little if anyone has any tips for lethargy I appreciate you I love u to whomever is reading this and you matter ❤️

at 15 I develop pocd and I still don’t know what caused these thoguhts , I’m horrified with myself

Hey guys, TL;DR: My Suicidal OCD is really bad rn after med change, it feels so real and urgent. I’ve been having a tough time lately, so I recognize it’s healthy to be sad and work through this along side it as Suicidal OCD likes to suppress sadness. Any advice or words of encouragement? My recent life: Recently I’ve been having a tough time. In August developed hypersomnia, which is like a constant pressure to sleep during the day. Developing this was quite triggering for my health anxiety, so I got all my vitals and stuff but nothing looked wrong. I decided to switch my meds (Zoloft, which was working decently) because we thought that was maybe causing it. I was going to switch to Prozac because it is more stimulating. The withdrawal process was BRUTAL for me, with brain zaps, dizziness, irritation, and worsening sleepiness. Switching to Prozac, it was clear the hypersomnia was not going away, so I made an appointment with a sleep specialist, but the earliest appointment is in December! The adjustment to Prozac has been VERY hard for me. Feeling really unstable during the process, libido is all over the place, but worst of all the last few days my OCD has been some of the WORST it has ever been. I’m Week 3 on Prozac and I’ve never had ocd this bad. I have Suicidal OCD, and right now it just feels so real, that it’s really gonna happen. I feel so much panic, but I know it is “tricking me” to feel like these thoughts are mine. While I’m managing with these intense things in my life, I’m now also realizing that I can’t suppress my sadness like Suicidal OCD often wants you to do. Things have been frustrating and it is HEALTHY to express sadness towards this. It’s just very difficult “being sad” while also having these dark suicidal thoughts along with them. What are some things that help you out in hard times, and what would you recommend for me? Thanks y’all, we are so strong.

I told a girl to go fuck her dad (he's in jail) because she has hit me over the head with a shoe, told my friends I made up lies about them (I didn't), poured water on me, brought a vape to school and tried to force me to use it, wrote me a death threat letter (which I sadly lost), called me autistic (I'm not), said my parents are related (they're not), made fun of my cousin, said I'm a weirdo and started a big fight at lunch and when I apologised she still shouted at me and made up rumours. She told me she was going to report me to the school for texting her to go fuck with her dad, but I think she deserved it. Our school will take stuff like this very seriously though and I don't want my parents finding out. What should I do?

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm going through so much laundry and my parents are mad at me, and my hands are so cracked theyre bleeding. It's actually becoming unbearable. my medications don't help, and therapy isn't helping. I don't know what else I can do or how I can live with this. everyday is hell and I don't know how to manage any of this. I keep getting panic attacks over these things. I'm in physical pain and I can't control it. people are telling me my hands look so disgusting and I need to stop washing/using sanitizer, but no matter how hard I try I can't. I'm lost and I don't know what to do.

something that really bugs me and gets in my head with my rocd is that for most of my relationship i’ve had this nagging anxiety and ocd about it. i can accept my thoughts for the most part, but have this underlying fear that this one could really mean something and that makes me feel guilty! i don’t want to loose her but my mind tells me i do because ive had these thoughts. it’s even coming up in my dreams now! i had a dream last night that i cheated and it made me panic all today and feel so bad and this thought came up again! any advice?

I cant even feel anything I havent been able to cry, im like completely detatched and whenever i cry i feel like "what if im just faking it", i dont even know how to feel, i know the intrusive thoughts are ike i dont want to have at all and this isnt me, just a fee days ago i was fine and didnt even think of anything remotely close to thing, its getting so convincing and i dont want to be a bad person, i just want to cry and let ut all out but i cant, and my brain keeps telling me "well uour numb so you must like the thoughts" does anybody have advice, i just want to feel like myself again, this is genuinly so bad and im having a really hard time, i feel so empty and ive been stuck on this for a few days now, a couple of weeks ago i was sobbing over the same theme and it came back just 2 or 3 days ago also j think im starting to have false memories that are scaring me, idk its just a guess hut i think theyre startibg ti show uo a little. im so so so tired and i just want this rough bit over with, i want to feel kike me again, i barely feel alive rn this is just a repost of what i said on reddit but nobody ever responds and i really am so tired of this and i dont want to be a p word

Hey folks, I’m asking for advice on how to go about this situation! So, ever since last year (my first year riding the bus) I’ve sat in the same spot on the bus. 4 seats back on the left when walking in, but on the right when seated. The seat right in front of the escape window. This is my second year on this bus and so far I’ve been in this seat. But two days ago a random new freshman sat there. In the mornings specifically. I have been the first person on the bus for the past year so I’ve never had anyone in my spot before. I’m almost certain they will be on the bus the rest of the year. Now this doesn’t seem like a big deal, it’s a seat I know. But the way my brain works, I NEED to be in that seat. 4 is a safe number. Sitting there will make my day a light one in my eyes. And it’s the left to enter. Left/rights have the same effect on me that numbers do. “Good and bad” Sitting anywhere else in the bus makes me feel dirty. I can’t explain why or how. That’s how my brain works. I feel gross on the inside and out. And cannot have a peaceful ride. I want to know what I should do.. I’ve come up with the idea of talking to the freshman. I’d see them and be like “Hey, would you mind switching spots with me? I have OCD and this seat has been my safe spot since last year. Sitting anywhere else really messes with my head” but I’m scared of coming off as a petty or weird person… My friend jokingly said “just sit on them” like act like I didn’t notice them, and keep doing it till they move??? Idk Or do I just suck it up and ignore this as best as I can?? It’s only been two days and it’s eating at me. Help is needed

I (15m)am a monster. I have done horrible things mistakes or not I don’t think people would ever forgive me. When I got into highschool when I was 14 I had a messed up mindset that being sexual was the way to go with everything and I was way to open to people who I just met. This led to me revealing personal things about myself that made others uncomfy and flirting with my friends all the time and making sexual jokes comments and just sexual flirting even when they said no (this was over text) Me thinking back on this makes me realize how uncomfy I made these people it’s sick I considered them my friends and ended up traumtizing them. One of them stopped talking to me because of my behavior they were scarred and they can’t even bring themselves to look at me and don’t even want me saying their name. Then there were these 2 guys who were older than me one was 16 one was 17. The 16 yr old was introduced to me by my online friend who is my best friend and I begged the 16 yr old for pics (idk how it started but after my friends ex randomly messaged me and sent me pictures and then blocked me right after I think I became addicted to chasing that high) the 16 yr old eventually sent me a pic but it was real and I stopped bugging him on it after that but i feel so bad I did that but my friend tells me not to feel bad cause the guy was weird but I still feel bad. Then the 17 yr old I did the same thing with him but went too far when I tried getting pics from him by using my best friends ass pics she sent me (she was 15) I don’t think I grasped how wrong this was but that’s not an excuse she eventually found it when I told her after she tried getting pics from the guy herself to try and help me and the guy got mad when she stopped talking to him cause we found it weird talking to him. I told her about how I sent the pics she said she felt sick but forgave me cause she thought I was gonna harm myself. Fast forward the guy told me after I had still been flirting with him that I s@d him (we never met in person ever) and I felt so guilty and apologized a lot and he got annoyed and told me that he had been kinda manipulative to me and kept me in a loop of mystery and I don’t talk to him anymore. But one of my other friends stopped talking to me after I was being by too emotionally taxing on him because I became very depressed and didn’t wanna life anymore and tried to stop lifing a few times. And now idk if I actually s@d someone if I did that to someone and now I think I’m a pdo and I think I s@d my baby cousins and my little brother and now I’m scared bf I can’t even get help because my parents don’t believe in therapy and even if I wanted to I’m scared because I don’t want to go to jail but I think I deserve it honestly why should a monster like me live. And idk how I can move on with my life ever why shouldn’t I be locked up if I ever got help like therapy I would go to jail and rightfully so I’m a monster.

Hey no need for reassurance( please ) just wondering if anyone feels the same or just that I’m not alone. Please be kind It was really hard to write this thank u <3 Ive been struggling with severe severe depression and ocd and frequent panic attacks and the what ifs , I’ve had trouble recently being kind to myself because I just feel so weak when I have panic attacks and vulnerable I feel like I’m a failure somehow if that makes sense , it’s just so hard sometimes I’m really hard on myself often and I just don’t know what to do I have been feeling an increase in anxiety maybe because I’ve been struggling to let things go from the past and I am struggling a lot with anticipatory anxiety with ocd, I just hope someone has some words of compassion ( : I would really appreciate it thank u kind soul 🫂❤️

If anyone knows a lot about full metal alchemist brotherhood please reply!! I used to love full metal alchemist brotherhood but ever since I started having thoughts about liking pride it triggers me. Especially cause his character is a homunculus which need a disguise/host/container to be able to move around. Cause Pride is a humanoid shadow monster/villian created by a god with alchemy. And he’s supposed to be a child!! But then they say Pride is 300+ years old which triggers it for me because people say you can’t be physically attracted to characters who are demons or adults who look like literal children!! Like I don’t want to be attracted to pride if he’s an actual child!! Especially (SPOILER) when Edward recreates pride into a normal child cause he killed/removed pride “the shadow.” Shows that he’s a child!!! And I don’t want to be attracted to that at all!!!! I’m so confused and scared!!

Ive tried to remain uncertain about this... I really tried... Im so depressed... and I feel alone... theres no hope... My pocd keeps saying that my worst fear of unknowingly cybering with a minor has actually happened and it's really triggering the hell out of me... I feel so horrible...My pocd keeps saying I "unknowingly erotically role played with a minor" when idek if this actually happened or not... this was nearly three years ago... (september of 2021) for context we were erotically role playing on an 18+ discord server, (she wasnt verified, but I assumed she was 18+ because we were on an 18+ place) and then she suddenly stopped responding, before leaving the server shortly after an unknown time... im so freaking anxious and scared... her grammar was fine at first, but then as we were going on, she kept making errors like "boxer" or "then" instead of "than"... my pocd keeps saying that I "UNKNOWINGLY EROTICALLY ROLEPLAYED WITH A MINOR" when idek if this happened or not... some people told me she sounds like/is a young adult... chatGPT tells me she sounded like a teenager... I genuinely dont know what to believe anymore... (these two photos are from her account, and the beginning of our ERP... I hope she wasnt a teenager... I really hope she wasnt...)

Guys I’ve been really struggling lately. I’ve been having thoughts that are sometimes not triggered by anything and sometimes they are. The thought is that “ I don’t want to marry my partner”. I’ve also had thoughts about not loving partner not knowing if we are for sure a good match etc. . Idk why it’s so upsetting, that it’s a definitive thought. It’s not what if and that scared me that it’s not what ifs cause that means that it’s true. I don’t want it to be true and I’m trying to just sit in it and it’s not working. I just feel like idk what my reality is and I just want it to stop. I’d like to know if anyone has definitive thoughts as well. I feel so alone and I feel like everyone here that has OCD mainly have what if thoughts.

One fun thing about what I’ve experienced is that even if I go to people for reassurance, more often than not it doesn’t help and makes things worse. I see how from an outside perspective it looks like denial and the moment I open my mouth to talk about it the instant thought is “you’re faking it, you know it’s true and you’re faking it”. And it’s great when people say maybe you are this or that like it’s no big deal, …but it is? And then again it’s like maybe they see something I don’t?

I’m trying to hold off having a panic attack but I feel this weird feeling in my stomach skin and it feels cold and kind of sore I looked it up which ik I’m not supposed to, but I was curious because it was not going away.It said something about nerve damage or diabetes? I’m kind of doing good ignoring the anxiety but I’m noticing part of my leg is also twitching a little and it’s making me feel more anxious, Idk what to do right now because I’m in college and I have to finish an assignment by today but the anxiety is making it hard for me to focus 😔

I recently learned that the situation I am in could indicate a form of OCD, so I’m writing this wondering if that seems accurate based on the description I wrote. Basically, I spend a large amount of my time worrying about my loved ones or myself dying. I find myself keeping everything that connects to a memory with someone I love. I’m obsessed with taking photos, and not in the way that people my age are because they want to post on instagram or something, it’s because I’m constantly worried about wishing I had more physical evidence of a relationship if I were to lose that person. Whenever I have a happy moment with somoene, my brain jumps to “you’ll want to remember this if they die” or “make sure you write this down/ take a photo so you can look back at it if something happens”. I’ll look through photos with my loved ones and decide which one I would make the wallpaper on my phone if they died. I don’t even intend to make that decision, it just kind of happens. I have awful thoughts and images pop into my brain of the people I love being dead and thinking about what I would do if that actually happened, or how I would care for my loved ones if they lost someone important to them. I just feel like I’m constantly preparing for another loss and setting myself up to be left with lots of photos and other things just in case. I lost my best friend to cancer a few years ago, and I never dealt with this before that, so I think it’s all in response to that trauma. I get stressed when I know I took a photo with someone but they didn’t send it to me and worry I forgot to write down something that happened with a loved one that was important to me. I give handwritten notes and photos of us to people I love very often because I imagine they’d be important to them if something happened to me. I check my pulse and lymph nodes often and spend time googling or stressing about symptoms I have that could lead to something being wrong with me because I’m so scared all the time of getting sick and dying. Could I have OCD?

Hi!! Just wondering if anyone uses any type of medication to soothe their anxiety relating to ocd and if there is actually any medication that can do that. I’m thinking about going to the doctors to ask if I can get some because I’ve suffered with anxiety my whole life and it’s been two years of full hell from ocd and I’ve been in therapy (camhs) for three years. Lmk!❤️